A Visit to Birds Acre.... :)

I took the time the a few Sunday's ago to do something really fun. I agreed to babysit that day and so I knew that the day would be crazy busy. I knew I had church which would include two hours of a full and active nursery and then some cooking and babysitting at a missionary farewell. So after my service at the farewell was done- it was a wonderful party I must say- I took my cute Tessa by the hand and we got in the car to go meet her mother... who also had probably had a very busy day. As we reached Ellsworth, I realized that we were a bit early and I didn't want to sit and sit in the car waiting and I just didn't feel like that would be good for Tessa either, but as it was Sunday I wasn't sure what we could do that would still appropriate for the day. Then I had a brilliant idea and ... Tessa and I spent the next forty five minutes at Bird's Acre in Ellsworth.

For those of you who do not know, Birdsacre is a pretty neat place. It is a wildlife refuge that helps to save hurt animals, has some awesome nature walks and in small ways tries to teach conservation and educate people about birds and other wildlife. I used to go with Brock a bit and I have had pretty good experiences there- see this post for my latest interaction a few weeks ago. So Tessa and I found the slightly hidden driveway and headed in. And it was a load of fun! I love looking at birds and I also enjoy watching the joy and wonder in a child's eyes as they are able to get pretty close to some large birds that they might not see in any other place. Hurt or disabled owls are their specialty and so we got to see a few fun animals. Here is a small picture summary of our visit:

The first birds that we saw was a red tailed hawk:

Then a weeny saw whet owl....

Then a barred owl...

I'm not sure what this one is.... but he's cute!

Our next handsome one was a broad winged hawk

and last in the large cages was a great horned owl...

or two!

We spent the rest of the time looking at the waterfowl hanging out around a pond next to one of the nature walks. We saw a ….


Chinese Goose!

And a Toulouse hanging out with his Canadian buddy :)

I think that hanging out with Tessa and looking at birds may have been the highlight of my week! It was just a wonderful, peaceful time and I have been finding myself hoping to go back soon. For any local readers, you should take the opportunity to check it out! You won't regret it and maybe you might see me there... I have to go back soon. :)

Day of the Turtle

Warning: One picture in this post contains adult content... well, maybe two depending on your idea of adult content. ;)

Sometimes human behavior can make me so sad and I despair over the future of our race. While I am grateful for free agency, I do sometimes wonder how people make decisions and why that are so clearly from almost anyone's perspective cruel and wrong. What helps when I am feeling that way is to see other human beings with compassion and we can work together to try and fix the things that other people do in their ignorance or even in maliciousness. So today gave me sorrow and comfort as well when I was headed to the craft store today.

It seemed like an ordinary Saturday a first. I started the day getting ready for a visit with my Bug and I worked on cleaning up and organizing and also getting things ready for tomorrow; trash to drop off, laundry to put in the car, books and stuff for Sister Robertson's book swap and loan at the church, etc... Bug and I enjoyed a great morning with reading and eating and talking and goofing off and when he left I put on my casual uniform and started driving up to Bangor. I wanted to head up early so that I could drop off some things at the Salvation Army thrift store and get a little lunch before heading into work. In Bucksport, I changed my plans....

While driving through I saw something in the road that didn't sit right with me. Not really sure how to explain it except it looked like flat road kill that was slowly moving. The movement was slow enough that my first thought was it was the wind on a breeze but a second later I recognized that it was an animal and I slowed down very quickly and pulled over. The car behind me recognized the problem quickly and mimicked me and so did the vehicle behind her. I started to open my door to get out and carefully remove the turtle from the middle of the road to the side when a car pulled out from behind us and sped up. I looked at the young man driving and watched as he spend up, aimed at the turtle and laughing hit it and passed us. The truck behind him saw me and quickly stopped. I held up my hand and when the driver nodded I walked in front of his vehicle, picked up the turtle with both hands and moved to the side of the road. The woman who had pulled over behind me got out of her vehicle and asked how she could help. My hands were started to become slick with the small amounts of blood leaking out of the turtle's sides and he was fighting me pretty strongly. But when I put him down he really struggled to hold himself together with a cracked shell – the hit wasn't perfectly dead on, but it caused enough damage nonetheless. I asked her to try and keep traffic moving and to keep both of us safe and I tried to figure out what to do. It took me only a few seconds to realize that I had nothing in my car that could work as bandages or dressings nor was I sure where the nearest vet that was open on a Saturday was. I yelled over to the woman and asked if she had a first aid kit in her car and she looked back over. In tears, she said she didn't have anything and asked me 'what can we do?'

At that moment I recognized the only dressing material that I had on hand, pulled my shirt over my head and wrapped the turtle snugly in it. In a few seconds I realized that my shirt was not a natural fiber and wasn't doing any good... so my garment top came off also and I re-wrapped the turtle- first in the garments and then in the shirt. It worked really well and a few seconds later I realized that the bleeding was under perfect control. It was at that moment that I recognized we had a visitor and looked up in time to see a police officer walk around my car and over to where I crouched- blood on my hands, chest and a little on my pants... and no shirt. I will admit my first thought was that I was in trouble. However, the officer was decent and quickly asked questions which the other bystander answered and as I stood up he asked for pictures and asked where I was headed- was I going to help or leave? I mentioned that the only place I could think that was open vet wise was the emergency clinic in Bangor and I thought I would take the turtle there. He quickly unwrapped the turtle and took pictures- I grabbed a few too and we rewrapped him and I got in my car. One last picture and I was on my way. The officer said he would get as much information as he could from the lady I left behind and said we would chat later. I drove in traffic as quickly as I dared. I called a friend to use the internet to look up symptoms of shock and called the emergency clinic which let me know that I was expected and gave me pretty decent directions. I arrived in Bangor in record time for me, and with only a slight hesitation got out of the vehicle in my state of undress and headed into the clinic.

Over the next few hours it was decided that even though it was a glancing blow, he needed to be put down. I had left my contact information and got to work only a little late- I was given a shirt to wear so I didn't have to figure out what I wasn't going to do at that point and simply wore it at work backwards so my vest would cover the words on the front and would fit the dress code. (That was a gift because I'm not sure how I would have purchased on without walking into a store in my lack of dress.) I spoke with the police officer later who thanked me and he told me that hitting turtles was against the law and said that the was working on locating the vehicle with the good description he had gotten from Darlene (the name of the other woman who stopped with me.) I thought it was a little excessive that there was a law on the books until I found out that people like to hit turtles on purpose because if you hit them right they make a great popping sound. (REALLY! AND THAT'S AWESOME HOW!?!?!?!?) Apparently the forest service gives citations for it regularly. I hung up the phone feeling many things and very few of them felt good.

A few days later and I feel more calm. I did the best I could and that's all I could do. A few people asked for a reference for the person who taught me first aid and I gave out my information because its what I teach now. I might even gain a little work from this experience. In the end, the poor guy died... not on accident or for food or anything noble.... but for sport. I have never been able to understand that viewpoint or way of thinking. It was sadistic and cruel and I am grateful that I do not recognize or no the person who did it because it makes it a little easier to turn it over to the Lord. People hit animals on accident all the time and all we can do is try not too and recognize that it will happen and do our best to prevent it. This was a senseless act and if the young man who did this even reads this, I pray that you will not laugh, but think about how that small choice you made effected so many. Not only did something die that didn't need to, but your actions caused sorrow in a few people and angry in several. Did that choice create so much happiness for you that it negates all the bad it did? I somehow doubt it.

So here I my wish for a small, beautiful animal who passed away a few days ago. Feel no more pain and return to the Father that sent you and loves you. Thank for you the opportunity you gave me to help you and to feel your spirit and peace. Thank you for the lessons your trial gave me. I hope that all is well.

Blessings....

As I was sitting this evening and thinking upon my challenges that seem to fill my thoughts lately, I decided to think of some blessings that I have instead. I suspect that I should have been able to think of many, many more than I did... but I'll share the ones that really stuck with me tonight.

1. I have the most wonderful son. There is so much I want for him and while I do not see him as much as often as I would like, but I can think about him and pray for him as often as I would like and that is a wonderful blessing too. :)

2. I received a wonderful blessing last Wednesday. That blessing and the words that I received as well as the thoughts were so uplifting-so great- that they have sustained me throughout the hours since. The brother who gave it to me probably can not have a full picture or depth of what he gave me. I am more grateful than I can say.

3. I have good friends... too many to list! Some that are on my mind today are Katey B., Sarah F., Becky K., Darla A., Linda R., and Kim B.. You all know who you are and how much I love you!

4. I have pets and companions ho show caring and appreciation for me... who seem to see my every need and my words as something worthy of note... I won't say that they always fulfill them, in fact, sometimes I think they laugh at me. But the best companion is a honest and loving one. :)




5. I have a job. I can work and earn money and learn and enjoy other people. It's wonderful!

6. I had cash this week for a few emergencies, lunch, a taxi, and medicine – a rare occurrence and a piece of luck that I would never have expected.

7. I can see the world around me- the shapes, people, and even most of the detail. I can see light and the trickle of the rain on the windshield of my car and sitting like fat, dewy tears on the mall blades of grass poking up from the moist ground.

8. I have the ability to chose to fast to try and gain inspiration or healing. Some people fast pretty consistently because they do not have food ...or at least not enough of it. The ability to do so... to chose to do so... and to pray, showing my willingness to sacrifice and my desire for inspiration is a blessing all on its own.

9. I live in a cute place surrounded by deer, squirrels, turkeys, and many other birds and amphibians. The opportunity to it and just watch... to focus on my small presence in this large world is beautiful and something I do not take for granted.





10. I have two unbroken feet- enough said. ;)

11. I can muster up so much courage when I need too... a skill I never knew I possessed early in life and have gained through the years of adversity and growth.

12. My ability to stretch and grow while not breaking is still functional inside me. I can sometimes find myself surprised by how much growth can hurt, but afterward I can feel the peace and stability that comes with the stretching and lengthening. This ability is a gift from Heavenly father that I am constantly reminded of. A conflicting and wonderful gift.

13. The blessing of a brief few moments of the day in which to listen to the silence.

14. For my very breath... as my chest rises and falls I do not tend to think of it and yet it goes on keeping me here and reminding me of my own mortality and the miracle of my existence.

What gifts and blessings are you thankful today? Will you share?

Hunkering Down

This winter has already been a bit of a challenge to everyone in this area- more snow in three weeks than usual for December with some days reaching -15 degrees of chill... not counting the wind. The ice storm a few weeks back was stunningly pretty, but horrendously destructive as the weight of its icy beauty pulled trees into trees into deep waist-ed bows until they collapsed under their weight , acknowledging their submission to the elements and powers around them. I watched bushes literally collapse in upon themselves- imploding into their cores like a black hole had developed at their roots and was pulling them quickly and inexorably into the nothingness. I lay awake one night gazing blankly at the ceiling and just listening to the creaks, groans, whistling and popping of the many pieces of topiary and the woods in general as they fought and struggled not only for their limbs, but for their very lives. It felt a little bit like the end of the world... the sensation of the earth and all life starting to collapse and die into extinction. It was hard not to feel sad at the death and destruction that I can see from every window of my house and on my walks into the woods. It looked like a war had been fought... and that mother nature had lost, brought figuratively to her knees in surrender. Only one thing spoke of positive things: the small inlet in the woods under some trees with the clear prints and indents of at least five deer who have rested out the storm and then left, alive and ready to look for food.

The one drawback to moving into my awesome cabin at the very beginning of winter is that I had no time to locate and fix any areas or fissures in the walls, windows or doors that might need to be repaired. Most of the time I haven't really noticed – the stove keeps the place warm and cozy and I find myself quite comfortable. I have found that while the insulation is good, the windows are very thin and two of them have broken frames and so in small places, a steady stream of air flows in from the exterior. The wind and snow come in on three sides and I can't feel the cool draft in through the plugs in the wall as well. So when the weather is in negative numbers, it has actually been more of a struggle to keep the place well heated. I will say that even with this difficulty I smile – I just love living here and I feel like I have finally found my refuge... a place to regain my health and to allow the wounds of the last few years to heal. I have slowly been filling in some of the cracks and covering the openings in the windows with tape and down blankets to hold it all tightly together until better weather. That has helped a lot and has even provided more evening entertainment as some of the cats find it less challenging to run up the walls now. :)

So, we are all hunkered down and ready for three more months of snow and ice and wind. And as I drive slowly to work three days a week I look at the houses and neighborhoods as I slide past. The buildings seemed closed off too... covered with snow and ice... hunched or and oppressed, waiting for the warmth to return. How are things in your neck of the woods? Are you and your neighbors warm and comfortable? How is the winter affecting you and your plans? If you survived the ice storm, who did it affect the trees and wildlife around your home? I am very curious!

Learning about Gondwana...

I went and got my quarterly blood draw last week.  I actually have a good time getting that done most of the time because I tend to go alone and so it is like a little break from all my pressing responsibilities.  I can talk, eat a piece of candy, and even read a book if I wish.  You always have to check in first with Lois who is always so awesome and has the coolest office.  While she was helping me get all checked in this last week, I noticed a new large poster in her office.  It had the word 'Gondwana' in huge letters on the top and then lots of pictures of dinosaurs.  I hadn't any idea what the word meant... I knew it wasn't the name of a dinosaur that I had ever heard of (and Bug is getting pretty expert at those particular animals) and I thought that the name for the large land mass before the continents divided was Pangaea. So I decided to find out.

It turns out that Gondwana is the name of a large land mass... Just not the whole huge one piece land mass that is named Pangaea.  The mass that is now called Gondwana (and originally called Gondwanaland) was formed when the super-continent Pangaea fractured into two large and roughly equal pieces.  Gondwana is the southern piece that had the lands that are named Arabia, the india subcontinent, Antarctica, Australia, South America, Madagascar and New Zealand.  Most of these land masses have stayed in the southern hemisphere over the centuries, but Arabia and the Indian subcontinent have moved to the northern hemisphere. This is a very simplified version of a tale that took millions of years.    This continent began to form after Pangaea fractured during the Jurrasic era and it also began to fracture itself later in the same era.

Gondwana in its time was the continent to be on. It was teeming with prehistoric life and throughout its history, the animals and plants that inhabited it that were often very different from the animals and plants on the other land masses. There were a diversity of fish- forms of lungfish, ray-finned fishes and plants, but the diversity of dinosaurs is pretty astonishing. This land mass had some of the pretty well known dinosaurs (Stegosaurus, Triceratops, and Tyrannosaurus), but it also was home to many unique species that developed during and after the fracturing of Gondwana. Among those species that could only be found on this super-continent are Abelisaurus, Megaraptor, Giganotosaurus. Titanosaurs, Argentinosaurus, Mapusaurus, Muttaburrasaurus and Cryolophosaurus. And they are joined by the only dinosaur that has had remains found on the continent Antarctica which is Cryolophosaurus. (see pic)



While I was looking through pages of pages of documentation, I realized that most of the dinosaurs that I have heard of and are in the books most commonly found at the local library are 'Northern' Dinosaurs. While the dinosaurs and fauna from the northern land mass called Laurasia are very well known even to people who are not really interested in dinosaurs, most of the 'southern' species are unknown to a great portion of the world. However, this is changing. Places like Australia are becoming proud of their unique heritage and attempting to buy a toy T-Rex there can be quite a trial these days.

So I set out to find out about the inhabitants and the plants of Gondwana- it sounded like great fun and it was! What is so cool is that there is so much information about the world out there- more than any human could ever know- and it is all so fascinating and evidence in my mind of a divine plan and a brilliant, creative Father. What an amazing miracle life is- just brilliant, beautiful, peculiar and amazing!

Why Is a Raven Like a Writing Desk?.......

So many things in life are unexpected. As much as we plan ahead for what we want in our lives, we can never truly plan for everything unexpected that can happen. This last month brought a blessing and an irritant that I think had really important life lessons for me attached. It brought Edgar.

I am not really sure when Edgar truly 'arrived'. And I think it was a while before we as a family realized that it was the same bird that was hanging out in the yard... and that it was truly hanging out and not just a casual visitor. He was beautiful and sleek and just handsome bird- raven I think. Cocky and self assured, he would visit the chicken's bowl, drink from the duck 'pond' and hang out with the donkey. Two weeks later, Bug managed to trick him and was actually able to pick him up. Edgar promptly bit Bug's ear with his two inch long bill. To give Bug credit, he didn't let go of the bird- he just yelled until I made the raven let go. Watching the raven for a few days, I really felt that there was nothing really 'wrong' with him, but his acceptance of human proximity as well as two other problems did finally convince me that he does have a problem. So the last 'problem'- when he ended up in a fight with a few chickens and was clearly losing and not really able to fight- to me was the last straw. I entered the fight and scooped him up and with my family's help locked him up with food in our goose house. I then stripped off all my clothing and took the coldest shower that I have had in a long time in my front yard as he was covered with mites and so I, in turn, was also.

That evening I started research – the fact that he was covered in vermin absolutely terrified me. I have come to see that as a sign of a pretty, pretty sick being. All I could find was information on rabies and West Nile Virus- both of which he clearly didn't fit the signs or symptoms of. I had called a few days before to a bird sanctuary called 'Birds Acre' and had not received a call back so today I was a little more insistent and spoke with one of their volunteers (Ralph). He was awesome and seemed very knowledgeable. After speaking with him, he thought that it might be better for me to call a place called 'Avian Haven' so I did. The experience was so different. I spoke with the manager Diane who neatly ignored my questions and very quickly made arrangements to have Edgar leave and go to their facility. What I found interesting was that I truly sensed that she really wanted what she felt was right for the bird, but her communication and immediate dismissal of my concerns really left me feeling very uncomfortable sending him there. I spent more time talking with Ralph at Birds Acre and we agreed to work together with a veterinarian and their staff to help Edgar. When I told Diane about my decision to place Edgar at Birds Acre, her response was pretty bad. Our whole conversation was filled with guilt ridden controlling sentences- “You've chosen to send him where? Why ever would you make such a bad decision?”, or “Well, if you are OK with him slowly starving to death you can do that”. By the time I got off the phone with her I was pretty firmly convinced that I had made the right choice. Avian Haven sounds like a phenomenal place, but if the individuals that work there can't develop people skills, I think very few people who are genuinely concerned about a bird will send for them. I know that I can't imagine trying to work with them again and certainly can't in good conscience recommend them. (I later found out that many people have had the same exact complaint about Avian Haven which I find really, really sad.... how do they get donations to help the birds if they put so many people off?)

So “Edgar Allen Crow”- as my husband has named him from a past literary reference -(will be changed to Lenore is Edgar is a girl) has a big day ahead of him tomorrow between a vet visit and a trip to Birds Acre. The blessings we have received are several fold. We have had the amazing opportunity to look at a raven and study it closely over the last few weeks. We were able to use him for homeschooling lessons for Brock and ourselves (what does he eat, does he need this?, etc...) I have felt some gratification that I am pleasing Heavenly Father because I am taking the time to care for his creature who needs help. And I have never really been in the position of having to make a decision that means (quite literally life or death) to another person or animal. Yes, I am a parent and make very important decisions everyday that will affect my son's living. But the responsibility to research and make the right choice for this beautiful animal that needed my help was something I haven't had often. I have rarely had to have an animal put down – they have died in their sleep or something else has happened. The choice as to whether they lived or died in most instances was taken out of my hands. The weight of this responsibility gave me the courage to advocate on Edgar's behalf to a very intimidating person- that is, sticking to my decision in the face of ridicule, guilt induction, and threats is not my strong suit or something that I am good at. I managed to do it though which is a big deal for me. I also managed to not get angry- which is really amazing for me right now.

So I am going to sleep tonight feeling the satisfaction that I have done the right thing for my new friend Edgar. I am hoping that between the vet and the bird rehabilitation place, he will be able to be released into the wild again soon- his family' tends to hang out daily in the trees... they haven't abandoned him even though he is hurt or sick. (Keep your fingers crossed that the vet will not cost too, too much.) We are helping him in the least invasive way we could find in the hopes that he could keep his life, his dignity, and his home and family. I think we have done the impossible in the sense that while the title of this post is unsolvable and has been since Lewis Carroll wrote it, I have taken the improbable task of helping Edgar and I have managed to get it started myself. I did it thoughtfully and did not allow myself to be bullied or pushed into a decision that felt wrong. Stay tuned- I am hoping that he will be able to fly away in the next few weeks.... so lets see what happens...

Small Blessings

Tonight, I almost lost a close and loving companion. While I have rarely taken it for granted that my pets are safe outside, they on the other hand sometimes seem to feel that they are invincible. Tonight, Achilles seemed to believe he was so and dusk came and he did not return and night came... and he did not return. My calls and the tapping of a fork on a cat food can brought no response. So I continued to put Bug to sleep and only after he had fallen asleep could I get up to look again. At 10:30, I walked outside to see a pair of eyes glowing from the woods near my door-maybe 100 feet. When I called out towards the eyes, a second set of glowing eyes answered me from under my car and ran towards my open arms. As I picked Achilles up to hold him close to me, I aimed my light at the eyes in the woods,which immediately vanished. I held Achilles close and felt the supreme softness of his fur and his happy purr and thanked my Father. With the trials that I am currently facing, it would have been a difficult blow to lose a friend. Thank you Father for my momentary respite tonight. Thank you so caring enough for me to protect my companion for this moment so that I can feel gratitude and delight and thankfulness for the small miracles that you perform in my life and the lives of others... even the miracles that we have no idea of. Thank you.