Gratitude - 12/29/18

It's so dark so early these days that it almost feels like I should be headed to bed at 6pm. It's only 5:30 right now and it feels like it's been dark for so long it feels like it's midnight. These are the days that it really is a struggle for me to be able to stay up and accomplish things and to try to keep a normal sleep schedule. Of course with my insomnia and other issues, a normal sleep schedule is pretty much out of the picture anyway. Doesn't mean that I shouldn't try though.

1. It's pretty cold these days. I am really grateful for a heater that has propane and a house that has electricity to help keep me warm. I try to keep them low to conserve on energy, but I'm very grateful to have them because I would be very cold without them.

2. My feet are always cold and so I always have socks on them. I am very grateful for warm soft socks that I can wear anytime I want. And I'm grateful for a quantity of socks that allows me to change my socks as often as I wish and still have plenty of socks to choose from. I am a bit of a Dobby.

3.I had some maple sugar candy today and that was wonderful. I really haven't had any before and it was sort of blissful to feel all the sugar melt all over my tongue. I do not eat sugar or candy very often because I worry about it health-wise, but it was nice to splurge today.

4. I'm so grateful to have some awesome history lectures to listen to. Right now I'm working my way through a Great Courses/ Teaching Company series entitled "The Peloponnesian War. The professor is excellent and I'm enjoying the lectures very much. It's nice to be reminded of some of the things that I learned a long time ago in class but to hear about the values and morals of different groups of people that have been gone for so long. We may have stolen some of our ideas of government from the Athenians, but we are just as different as we are similar today. Anyway, I'm really thankful to have the lecture to listen to and enjoy.

5. I enjoyed having Bug over last night and it's always a joy to wake up and hear him talking and waiting for me to wake up. Sometimes he seems to get up too early for me, but I'm still glad he comes over anyway.

6. I was pretty sad that the Turnstyle wasn't open today because I was looking forward to going back after a month away. But I managed to channel that energy into rearranging and working on cleaning a corner of my living room the desperately needed it and I am so glad that I got that done. While physically I hurt quite a bit I am so happy with the results.

7. Listening to Cyril purr is a beautiful sound indeed....

8. Ferrets are awesome!

Stressful Day

Today has been a super stressful day. When I got home last night, I realized that Salem was sick. I was so worried that I didn't sleep much at all. I spent the wee hours of the morning making phone calls to the emergency veterinarian and waiting to call one of my two local vets. I was lucky and managed to get Salem into a local vet to help his urination problem. Three hundred dollars later and he is home.

I also discovered early this morning that Bella managed to get out last night when I came home from work in the dark. It wasn't obvious last night to me- she is super sneaky and I had no hint she got out at all. I figures it out this morning because she wasn't trying to sneak out on me this morning. She is also a pretty vocal cat and the household was silent. It took her all day - until 5 pm to come back and the stress of wondering whether she was going to come back was pretty intense. I also felt so guilty that I hadn't noticed she had gotten out and been out all night- a really cold night to boot. I'm so glad that she is back but I will confess I am a bit frustrated that she keeps my emotions and my heart on a bouncy string that jiggles everywhere. I could use a few days where she doesn't stress me out I guess.

Last, but not least... I went to the ankle doctor today and it's official. His office is getting all the paperwork together to present to my insurance and I am getting surgery. I have no idea how I can afford not working and I'm not sure how I will keep up with everything when I will be unable to stand for a minimum of six weeks. I'm going to try and put it off until the spring so that I will not have to worry about getting around in the ice and snow, but I am not sure how long I can put it off- the doc was pretty convinced I shouldn't put it off for too long because things are just going to get worse. So we will see I guess.

Synopsis: lost a cat and then got her back, had a sick cat and spent lots of money to get it back, and agreed to get my ankle carved up and tightened up. Not the best day I have ever had.

I'm sitting trying to rest and deal with the stress of it all today and as I start to deal the anxiety of the day start to pass... I am really glad to have the evening to rest. I have volunteering tomorrow and a vague timeline to start creating lists and figuring out what I need to do for the surgery. I'm done for today though. I think I've had enough.

Fiddly Weekend

Since I had a specialized MRI on Friday that required an injection, I thought I should take this weekend off from volunteering at the Turnstyle. I usually love to do it as I love the socialization, but I wasn't sure I would feel up to it. So when I woke up Saturday morning so early from the wrong number, I realized

that I had made a really good choice to stay home. I felt like I shouldn't just sit around even though I did need rest so I spent Saturday doing small things that needed to be done, took little time, but would be easy to rest in between the tasks. It's funny that you never realize how many fiddly quick jobs you can stack up in a house and in the dooryard when you are focused on the big things. It's even time to start taking down some of the garden- last night was 39 degrees according to my thermometer. My Virginia creeper and the trees in the dooryard and nearby woods are just barely starting to turn red, but as the weather changes they will start to turn pretty quickly in the next week I suspect.

The things I accomplished are a bit to numerous to list because they were all tiny

things like washing mannequins and cabbage patch dolls for future CPR classes and moving the house plants back inside for the winter after a nice summer of sun. I also moved in two pepper plants to try and overwinter them- I have no idea if it will work but I might get lucky so why not? I also got the house ready for my day with the ex and Bug. I am so glad I had a day to just focus on rest and getting the little things accomplished. Its amazing how accomplished I felt even though not much was completed that was anything to brag about.

Today was a lovely day of rest and films and good food as every Sunday tends to be. I am grateful for the extra time with family and I have a few hours every morning to do Sabbath-y stuff before the full visit commences. We have a really good routine set up where we visit for breakfast and then they leave Teddy here and head off for a hike while I do my Sabbath celebrations and contemplation and then the rest of the day is ours. They always spend the night on Sundays and, as I sit here and type, I hear the sounds of cooking and boy laughter as Bug carefully takes apart his newest toy to see how it functions. I feel full and relatively warm (I haven't turned on the heat in the house yet so it is starting to get a little chilly inside in the evenings) and generally content. You can't ask for more in a weekend than that. I am very grateful.