List of Support Resources for LGBTQI Individuals in Maine

My choice of a Praxis project came about in a roundabout way. Earlier in the semester, I was worried about an individual who was in an abusive relationship and she ended up leaving with her children. She spent some time with other friends until she got her restraining order and was able to find some resources to help her get back on her feet. When I realized she was ready to leave, I started trying to find out what resources were available locally and went to Google- A funny saying of some of my friends that like to tweak church sayings is “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of Google, who giveth to all men liberally….” :) What I found was that the first six sources I found were no longer current and only one of the next few was still operating. I ended up spending hours on the phone and chatting with people trying to find the available resources. As I thought of a praxis project for this class, I realized that an individual who was thinking of coming out to friends and family about their gender or sexual status might also want to look for some resources online for support and help. I found the same exact experience as I had found when attempting to discover resources for domestic violence. So many listings and so few were still open, available, etc…. So this project was born. The majority of these sources have been personally contacted to make sure that they are available and that the small blurbs I put with them give a good idea of what the organization would like to provide in support or resources. I have left some sources off the list that were offered to me…. This list is a bit long and I am out of time…. at least for now. I am hopefully that the University will use this list as they see fit to help and benefit others in their student bodies and in their communities. I have tried to list sources from all over to make sure that no matter where in Maine someone finds this list, they will at least have a starting point to help with their concerns and unique journey.

I would like to give a special thanks to three people who took their time and went out of their way to give me some resources that they have been collecting to share with others and I have agreed to give them a copy of this paper. They are W. Smith, S. Hayes and S. Bock. I cannot express my appreciation of their encouragement and help enough. Any mistakes are mine alone. Please contact me for a better formatted copy if you wish.

AIDS Education / Resources

• AIDS Consultation Service (Virology Treatment Center- 48 Gilman St, Portland, 207-662-2911
• Health Equity Alliance (Ellsworth) : 25 Pine St, Suite A, open Monday through Friday 8 to 4 pm, 667-3506
• Health Equity Alliance (Bangor): 106 Pine Street, open Monday through Friday, 207-990-3626
• Frannie Peabody Center : 30 Danforth ,Suite 311, Portland, ME 207-749-6818 info@peabodycenter.org

Educational /College Resources

• Bowdoin University – Queer/Straight Alliance, 24 College Street in Brunswick. To join contact bgsa@bowdoin.edu or 1800-290-2682
• Colby College- ‘Bridge of Colby College’, 5920 Mayflower Hill in Waterville, 207-872-3635 or bridge@colby.edu
• Husson University- 10% Solutions: a GLTBQ support group for students and staff on Monday evenings, FMI call 941-7990 or
• Thorton Academy Gay-Straight Alliance, 438 Main St, Saco, ME 04072, 207-282-3361. Advisor is Kate Timberlake and can be reached at Kate.Timberlake@thortonacademy.org
• University of Maine Orono Rainbow Resource Center: Located at LGBTQ services, Division of Student Life, 5768 Memorial Union, room 224, Orono, 207-581-1439. Open Monday through Friday 8 to 4:30pm. Open to anyone: for more information, meredith.hassenrik@maine.edu
• University of Maine Gay Straight Alliance, 181 Main St, Presque Isle, ME, 207-581-1439
• University of Maine Machias: offers many services to students including safe zones, physical and mental health services, training on LBGTQ concerns, gender neutral housing and restrooms, as well as the opportunity to change names and gender within its academic system, 207-255-1305
1. 100% Society- advocates awareness and acceptance of everyone. Meetings are confidential. Hosts meetings, trainings and activities throughout the year. Meets weekly on Thursdays at 5pm in Kimball Hall, lkuntz@maine.edu or 207-255-1244
• University of Southern Maine Libraries: has a large collection of primary sources, books, and the largest LGBTQ newspaper archives. For more information, go to
http://usm.maine.edu/library/specialcollections/lgbt-overview
http://usm.maine.edu/library/specialcollections/lgbt-collection
http://usm.maine.edu/library/specialcollections/lgbt-resources
• University of New England-Office of Intercultural Student Engagement. Gay/Lesbian/Bi/Friends Alliance: 11 Hills Beach Road, Biddeford, ME, 207-283-0171
• University of Southern Maine Center for Sexualities and Gender Diversity: Located in the Woodbury Campus Center on the Portland Campus, the Center for Sexualities and Gender Diversity (the CSGD) provides a space for students to connect, get resources, hang out, do homework, meet one another, and more! Provides referral information, a lending library, internships and work study positions at the center.

Faith and Religion

• The BTS Center – (Bangor Theological Seminary), 207-774-5212
• Circle of Hope Ministry- found in Portland with special outreach to LGBT community members. FMI, mccclergy@aol.com
• Dignity USA/ Resource for GLBT Catholics, PO Box 376, Medford, MA, 1-800-877-8797, info@dignityusa.org
• Interfaith Network of Clergy and Faith Leaders, 122 Neal Street Portland, ME, 207-775-5758
• Unitarian Universalist churches- go to www.uua.org to find a welcoming church in your area
• Some websites that can help find a welcoming congregation in your area-http://www.believeoutloud.com/take-action/find-your-community
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT-affirming_Christian_denominations

General Practitioners / OB GYN / Specialists

• Mabel Wadsworth Center- Family planning which provides educational and clinical services to women regardless of sexual orientation. 700 Mt. Hope Ave #420, Bangor, ME, 207-94705337 or 362 Harlow Street, PO Box 918, Bangor ME 04402, 207-947-5337
• Maine Family Planning- Open Door Transgender Health care: services include hormonal transition therapy and monitoring for trans individuals 18 year old and over, on-site self-injection lessons and supplies for same, referrals to specialty providers and community resources including mental, behavior and medical providers. Located at 179 Lisbon Street, Lewiston, 207-795-4007
• Rosemary Prentice – Southern Maine Family Healthcare
3 Shape Drive
Kennebunk, ME
207-467-8988, 207-283-1407
• Voice and Swallowing Center of Maine – provides voice therapy and training to members of the trans community both in person and through telemedicine. Found at Waldo County General Hospital, 118 Northport Ave in Belfast, 207-338-2500 or www.mainespeechtherapy.org

Homeless Shelters
• Alfred: York County Shelter- 147 Shaker Hill Road, 207-324-1137
• Augusta: Bread of Life Shelter- for victims of domestic violence or single adults, 157 Hospital Street, 207-626-3479
• Bangor
1. Bangor Area Homeless Shelter- 263 Main Street, 207-947-0092 or info@bangorareashelter.org
2. Shaw house – for homeless or at risk youth, 136 Union Street, 207-941-2874 or 1-866-561-SHAW. Rick@shawhouse.us
• Ellsworth: Emmaus Shelter- 51 Main Street, 207-667-3962 (have a long waiting list)
• Farmington: Western Maine Homeless Outreach – 547 Wilton Road, 207-779-7609
• Portland: Preble Street (women’s shelter and youth shelter), 38 Preble Street, 207-775-0026
• Presque Isle: Sister Mary O’Donnell Shelter- 745 Central Drive, must be 18 years old or with parents, program based, drug and alcohol free
• Rockport: Midcoast Hospitality House, 169 Old County Road, must be 18 years old or with parents/guardian
• Rumford: Rumford Group Homes, 346 Pine Street, program based with an intake assessment different homes and shelters based on needs, 207-364-4474
• Waterville: Mid Maine Homeless Shelter- 19 Colby Street, must be 18 or over but will help needy youth find housing if need be, drug and alcohol free

Lawyers / Legal Organizations
• Gay and Lesbian Advocates and Defenders : 30 Winter Street Suite 800, Boston MA, 1-617-426-1350, gladlaw@glad.org
• Maine Civil Liberties Union: 401 Cumberland Ave, Suite 105, Portland, ME, 207-774-5444, fax 207-774-1103, info@mclu.org
• Maine Volunteer Lawyer’s Project, PO Box 547 in Portland, 1-800-442-4293. Website : www.vlp.org
• Seacoast Law and Title- Mary Anne Martell, 240 Main Street, Westbrook, 207-591-7880, law@seacoastlawme.com
• Warren, Currier, and Buchanan – Brenda M. Buchanan, 57 Exchange St. in Portland, 207-772-1262 or brenda@wacubu.com
• Vogel and Dubois- Mathew R. Dubois, 550 Forrest Ave, suite 205 in Portland, 207-761-7796, mdubois@maine-elderlaw.com

Local Support Groups

• Bangor- MTN Trans Only, 1st Monday of the month (6:00-7:30), 106 Pine Street
• Brunswick – MTN Trans Only, 2nd Friday of the month (6:00-7:30), 24 College St, Bowden College
• Ellsworth - Gay Guyz Group (GGG), meetings on the second Wednesday of every month at various locations, 207-667-9482 or wayne@mrlanguage.com
• Ellsworth- Down East Gender Diversity Group:
1. Trans Ally – 3rd Sundays at 3pm, Health Equity Alliance Building, 25 Pine St, Suite A
2. Trans Only – 1st Sundays at 3pm, Health Equity Alliance Building, 25 Pine St, Suite A
• Kennebunkport- Gender Innovation, Trans youth programming, for more info contact giadrew2@gmail.com
• Lewiston- MTN, 3rd Friday of every month, Center for Wisdom’s Women, 97 Blake Street
• PFLAG Machias- meets every second Wednesday of the month at 6:30 pm at the Centre Street Congregational Church on 9 Center Street in Machias. 207-255-1288 or downeastpflag@gmail.com
• Portland – Bare Bears- a gay / bisexual nudist (male) group that meets on the second Saturday of every month in South Portland, barebearsmaine@yahoo.com
• Portland- Maine TransNet:
1. Trans only- 1st Wednesday of the month (6:00-8:30pm), Maine Medical Center, Dana Health Education Center, 22 Bramhall Street
2. Allies Only- 1st Wednesday of the month, (6:00-8:30pm), Maine Medical Center, Dana Health Education Center, 22 Bramhall Street
3. Trans and Allies- 3rd Wednesday of every month, (6:00-8:30), Maine Medical Center, Dana Health Education Center, 22 Bramhall Street
4. Non-Binary- 3rd Tuesday of the month, (7:00-8:30pm), Maine Medical Center, Dana Health Education Center, 22 Bramhall Street
5. TYEF- Youth and Parents Groups, for more information, contact contact@transyouthequality.org
• Waterville- mixed group, last Friday of the month at 6pm, Pleasant Street Methodist Church, 61 Pleasant St, Waterville, ME · (207) 872-7564

Organizations for Support

• All About Guys: is a group of guys (GSB or questioning) getting together to meet in healthy and safe ways to socialize and talk. Meetings in Lewiston/Auburn on the 1st and 3rd Mondays of each month and meetings in Brunswick on the 2nd and 4th Monday of the month. Also offers some STD prevention services and supplies, 207-725-4955. Website: www.allaboutguys.org
• Equality Maine: works to secure full equality for LGBTQ individuals in Maine through political action, group organizing and collaboration. Can provide resources for local support. Located at 550 forest Ave, suite 101, Portland, ME, 207 761-3732, info@equalitymaine.org
• Family Affairs Newsletter – a twice monthly free social activities newsletter for GLBTQ individuals that also doubles as a business directory, classifieds and community bulletin board. FMI, zack@familyaffairsnewsletter.org
• Gay- Lesbian Phone Line of Maine – Hotline for individuals, friends and family members offering information and support. 1-800-468-2088 or 498-2088
• Gay Maine – the lesbian/ gay directory to gay owned and gay friendly places in Maine including bars, clubs, hotels, restaurants and more. www.gaymaine.com
• GLSEN (Gay Lesbian Straight Education Network) supports ‘Gay-Straight-Trans’ alliances/ student clubs in high schools and middle schools to work to reduce hate language and harassment inside schools. Is currently working with 40% of Maine’s high schools as well as periodic regional meetings for trainings and leads presentations for organizations and the legislature.
1. Portland - PO Box 10334, 207-619-1417 or glsensomaine@gmail.com
2. Ellsworth – PO Box 373, 207-217-9873 or downeastme@chapters.glsen.org
• Living Queer Here! - A radio show on station WERU that is aired the 4th Thursday of every month at 10-11am. Various topics are covered. Can be listened to in the greater Blue Hill area on frequency 89.9 FM, in the Bangor area on frequency 102.9 FM, and streams on the web at www.weru.org. WERU also broadcasts the nationally syndicated GLBTI show, ‘This Way Out’ every Wednesday afternoon from 4 - 4:30 pm.
• Maine Gender Resource and Support Service (MEGRESS) - provides education, information and consulting for transgender and intersex individuals in Maine. PO Box 1894 in Bangor, 207-862-2063 or megress@tds.net
• Maine Transgender Network, Inc.: provides support and resources for transgendered individuals and their families/significant others with support groups in Portland and Bangor. www.mainetransnet.org , PO Box 1034, Westbrook, ME mtn@mainetransnet.org
• Maine TransYouth Equality Foundation: provides education, advocacy, and support for transgender and gender non-conforming youth and their families to help foster a healthy caring, and safe environment for all transgendered children. contact@transyouthequality.org
• Out! As I Want to Be: A supportive and empowering organization for individuals 22 years old or younger. Has twice weekly drop in programs as well as community education. Drop in at 328 Main Street, Suite 305 in Rockland. 1-800-530-6997 or .outmidcoast@gmail.com Also sponsors a radio program on Wednesday nights that is supportive of GLTBQ and intersexed individuals aged 14-22 that can be found if you tune your radio dials to WRFR - 93.3 (Rockland) or 93.9 (Camden).
• Out and Allied Theater: created through the Waterville Inclusive Community Project which works to create safe and welcoming communities for LGBTQ youth by using theater as a means to provide education to the community. Meets on Saturdays from 11am-2pm at Studio 93, 93 Maine Street in Waterville. 207-660-1672 or Markfair56@gmail.com
• Outright Lewiston-Auburn: creates a safe and affirming environment for youth under 22 years old. Friday drop in from 6pm – 8:30pm at the First Universalist Church of Auburn, info@outrightla.org 179 Lisbon St, Po Box 1038, Lewiston, 207-795-8956
• Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays: Po Box 8742, Portland, ME 04101, 207-774-3441. Helpline- 207-774-3441. PFLAGPORTLAND@aol.com Also found in Bangor – 36 East St in Bangor, 207-990-3626 or c35269@aol.com. Also Brunswick- 72 Woodside Rd, 207-725-6390, or shodgdon@blazenetme.net
• Portland Outright: youth driven program for LGBTQ individual and allies ages 14-22 in the greater Portland area. Drop in every Wednesday 6-8pm at 175 Lancaster Street, Portland, 207-828-6560 or 1-888-567-7600, portlandoutright@gmail.com or outright@outright.org
• Proud Rainbow Youth of Southern Maine : provides a safe and positive space for LGBTQ and allied youth 22 years and under offering social support and leadership, 343 Forest Avenue, rear entrance, 207-874-1030, info@commcc.org 165 Lancaster street Portland, 207-874-1030 ex 403, robert@commcc.org 43 Baxter Blvd, Portland, ME, 207-874-1030 prsym@commcc.org
• SAGE / Services and Advocacy for GLBT Elders – services and support for older individuals with drop in centers in Augusta, Bangor, Damariscotta, Ellsworth and Farmington. Monthly dinner in Portland and a monthly lunch in Bangor, PO Box 466 in Hancock, 207-809-7015 or doug@sagemaine.org. website: www.sagemaine.org
• Southern Maine Pride: 467 Congress Street, Portland, ME 04101, 207-650-8219 or 207-893-2550, info@southernmainepride.org
• The LinQ- serving the greater Farmington area and meets every Wednesday during the academic calendar year in the psychology building at the University of Maine-Farmington. Located at 234 Main Street from 7-9pm
• TransSupport Group: PO Box 4075 in Portland, 207-774-7029 or 207-642-6023

Runaway / Suicide Resources

• National Runaway Hotline (24 hours) : 1-800-786-2929
• National Suicide Prevention Initiative (24 hours) : 1-800-273-8255
• Statewide Crisis Hotline DHHS : 1-888-568-1112
• The Trevor Project: a leading national organization which provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to LGBTQ young people ages 13-24 years old. 1-866-488-7386, www.thetrevorproject.org


Therapists and Mental Health Clinics
• Auburn
1. Rebecca Hardy :207-743-9337
2. Paula Marcus-Platz: 207-784-8747
3. Melissa Snyder : 1-877-838-5741
• Augusta: Chris York: 207-662-9433
• Bangor
1. Maria Baeza : 207-942-2230
2. Penny Bohac-Cardelle : 207-942-8767
3. Jeanine Crockett: 207-942-1433
4. Cheryl Pelletier: 207-942-1483
• Bar Harbor
1. Lori R. Alley: 207-288-0594
2. Pamela Parvin: 207-288-5344
3. Barbara Peppey: 207-667-3277
• Belfast: Shelly Fein: 207-338-3111
• Bucksport: Diane Keubler: 207-469-0505
• Brunswick: William M. Barter: 207-854-4321
• Ellsworth
1. Marc Mylar: 207-667-2095
2. Sally Smith: 207-667-4042
• Hancock: Doug Kimmel: 207-669-4178
• Kennebunk
1. Dorothy Carlson: 207-985-7655
2. Denise Hammond: 207-251-1282
3. Fran Kessler: 207-332-8881
• Lewiston
1. Claire Bergeren: 207-753-0213
2. Stephen Hayes: 207-753-0323
3. Robin Rockett: 207-753-1462
• Portland
1. Rick Bouchard: 207-650-6450
2. Alexandra Bouvrette: 207-602-1636
3. Cindy Boyak: 207-662-0111
4. Frank Brooks: 207-780-6068
5. Jeremy Cole: 207-878-8001
6. Norma Kraus Eule: 207-650-1804
7. James Maier: 207-662-2004
8. Alex Roan: 207-408-1685
9. Laura Gottfried: 207-774-0046
10. Josh Kingsbury: 207-773-2828
• Presque Isle
1. Georgette Beaulieu: 207-764-8573
2. Robley H. Morrison: 207-768-5013
• Saco
1. Alexandra Bouvrette: 207-602-1630
2. Karen Neale Leary: 207-229-8006
3. Jane Thursten: 207-282-1500
• Wells : Rosemary Ananis : 207-646-6641
• Winthrop: Mary Fredricks: 207-524-3721
• York: Erin Latulippe: 207-415-8512

pictures from : http://www.mesmacnortheast.com/rainbow-hands-up/, http://all-free-download.com/free-vector/download/free-abstract-colorful-rainbow-vector-background_147996.html

Praxis Project Reflection

This semester, I have found myself pulled in many different directions. Between emergencies with friends, medical tests and physicians mumbling around me, I feel like this semester has flown by so quickly I haven’t gotten more than a few glimpses of what I was trying to gain… like a hummingbird I see the beauty and remember it but I have to keep going over my notes and writings to really pull up the clear full image that I had in front of me. I changed my ideas on a project a few times over the weeks from blog post biographies on my favorite feminists to a newsletter with basic articles for on different aspects of feminism…. to my final and completed project of resources for Maine individuals who identify as LGBTQI.

This project came about when an individual finally discovered that her fear of her husband was also her children’s fear… she discovered that he was hurting the children as well and they were terrified their father would kill her. She pretended to be ‘normal’ for two days while quietly making plans with friends and the moment her husband left for work on Monday with the only car, she walked out to meet a friend with her children and hasn’t gone back. She was lucky and even though the struggle with the courts is all encompassing still, they are safe. Those two days were awful, with several people trying to find what resources there were out there for her. Domestic violence resources are supposed to be prolific – and they are- but out of almost 50 searches, over half had disconnected numbers, were closed, had lost funding, were full and unable to help others, or even had very strict limitations. That same week, some of the readings combined with this particular experience, caused me to push aside what I had done and begin again. I wanted to see what resources that there might be pulled up on google and spent two hours writing up every source I found for LGBTQI resources in Maine. My goal was to create a comprehensive list and hoped that I was able to fill a few pages of solid and available resources to pass along to the university.

I learned a few things from this project. The first was that as I had predicted, most of the resources that I had carefully listed were either no longer operational or if they were, I had no information to find any new information for them through follow up searches. However, as I just started cold calling different people and organizations, I not only found more resources but also found people who were collecting some of the same information I was looking for. I found individuals who not only were enthusiastic that I was willing to spend the time creating this resource and were willing to help me, but were hopeful they could have a copy of it when completed to help community members near them. I had conversations with one group who was saddened that I had found them by accident and gave them ideas on my search so that they could try and make their organization come up in search engines instead of my lucky referral from a lawyer’s office. I also worked on it at work and as my project became locally known, I had a co-worker and a few patients quietly pull me aside and hand me a paper with an email or a phone number on it. I ended up having to leave resources off the list due to time constraints (I could probably spent another 25+ hours and have twice as many pages), but I feel really good about what I have. I was pleasantly surprised at how many resources there are around… even though so many parts of Maine are rural and far flung. I was also a bit surprised to find some organizations carefully not answering some of my questions and I realized that they didn’t want to be a resource, but could not come right out and say it – due to their funding models, personal opinions, etc.… (I did leave those groups off the list.)

I discovered that in some ways, those who identify as lesbian, gay, transgender, bi-sexual or intersex may have extra difficulties in finding resources and support even in areas that are known for being ‘liberal’. While there are so many resources, finding out about them was a significant amount of work and took quite a few resources to find. It appeared to me that just like my anonymous 'individual', when you are in a tough place, you really do need people with some social privilege and resources to help you find and access what you needed. I think this project was as successful as it could be with my limited time frame and the blinders of my own privilege- after all, I did choose what resources I left off the list due to time constraints… I have to wonder sometimes how things did or did not make the cut. I am hopeful that this assignment will have the forward removed by UMA and be copied and distributed wherever is appropriate. I am hopeful it will be useful to someone. Thank you.

picture from: http://all-free-download.com/free-vector/download/abstract_rainbow_background_vector_148022.html

Introduction to my Intersections Praxis Project

The next few days, I will be putting up two pretty large posts so I thought I would introduce them here. Last semester I took an Intersections class and we were able to make a choice as to a large and convoluted semester project. I am afraid I sent quite a bit of the semester trying to figure out a project and then came across my project idea from a comment at work and some contemplation. The project I chose was to try and develop as comprehensive a list as I could of LGBTQI resources in the state of Maine from emergency services to longer term mental health and medical services. The first post will discuss how I came up with the idea and how it became a reality and the next post will be the full list that I came up with and turned in for a grade. This list is accurate as of May 2016 and while it is missing a lot- due to lack of time or imagination, I wanted to share it here to make sure it is accessible (hopefully) if someone needs it. If you are reading this and want to add or change a resource, please feel free to let me know. :)

The Year of the Cat :)

To the reader: One picture is slightly adult and immodest in content. This is your warning. :)

Exactly one year ago, I received a phone call at 6:30 in the morning from a young women in Ellsworth named Jane. Her call was the culmination of six months of advice and was to change my life a little bit more than I expected... because she brought Morianna into my life.

When I lived in Vegas, I used to do a lot of volunteer work for a an animal shelter called the Ark. It was a pretty large shelter and dealt with the majority of strays that were caught in the city limits. I thoroughly enjoyed some of the new skills that I learns and I was soon one of the leaders in training stray cat to become 'smooshable' - a skill that is needed for many people to choose them for a pet. It was a fun place to volunteer, where I saw some awful and sad things, but I also gained great friends, some of the most wonderful companions that I was to know over the last decade or so, and some neat skills that I figured I wouldn't use again after moving to Maine. (I also gained some wonderful rabbits for my grandfather and a few fun hamsters as well.) A few years ago when I had some spare time and my life was beginning its horrible upheaval, the 'local' shelter in Maine started a thrift store in Blue Hill to raise money and I happily joined its volunteer staff. I tagged items, sold them, and tried to help move items quickly to get as much money as I could thinking of the animals that would benefit by my service since the shelter itself was so far away. At one point a woman waked in and told me about some stray cats that lived behind the Riverside cafe and expressed her concern about their future lives and what could be done. I gave her advice on how to catch them- the slow but almost always successful way- and agreed to pick them up and get them to the shelter after she had been successful.

Six months later, I received a call saying she would try the next day and success! She caught a very terrified gray Persian covered with mattes... and eyes the six of dinner plates (maybe about six months old). Twelve hours later, I picked up my trap full with two slightly younger cats of clear mixed heritage... the spitting image of each other in markings though not color. I happily called the local shelter (also called the Ark) and was very distressed to learn a few hard facts. One is that while the Ark in Cherryfield, Maine is a shelter, they are very selective in the animals that they select- only animals that are healthy and appear easily adoptable as accepted with a donation. As I looked through the resources that I had I found that there is no really good funded organization for strays in this state and so the cats only options became clear. I dealt with them or they would be put to sleep. So I realized that all the cats that so many of us as volunteers and as shoppers thought we were supporting were not the lonely hurt strays we imagined. I still love the idea of the Ark and while think it serves a very useful purpose, I think that my energy needs to be more towards the smaller, less known, and less funded organizations that actually help the most needy and vulnerable... the feral population.

That didn't change my current situation however. I now had three stray cats in various stages of ill health and not even a real roof over my head. I needed to deal with the difficulties of introducing Brock to them slowly and trying to find them homes. In the end, one year later I still have all three of them and they have been one of the biggest blessings that I have gotten in the last year. The first thing I did was set all three of them up in a large dog crate. Their great fear of me was very apparent and I started in on some of the small things that I used to do to gain trust or at least less fear. I waited for a breakthrough and the breakthroughs can be slow (and usually are.) Stray cats that are older than a few weeks have usually had a few really bad experiences, bad nutrition as well as difficulties in their gestation and early weeks. All of these difficulties can cause brain damage, birth defects, disease, etc...

One of the youngest cracked in two days. She is a beautiful black and white female and around 1am she began to wail. Her fear, sorrow and confusion were very evident and I jumped out of bed and fought past the other two cats to clutch her in my hand. With the recklessness of past experience and the joy of the blessing, I held her softly against my bare skin (yes, I don't wear much to sleep) and crooned a hymn with some clicking and slow notes. For an hour I prayed and held her singing and talking softly and soon I was able to hold her and get dressed without a

great deal of fear from her. By morning, I could sit against the wall, warm and well dressed with a still slightly scared animal, but one who was open to learning about me. She became Morianna, my great companion, who would jump onto the bed for a few pats and would happily act kitteny one minute and feral the next. Over the last year, I have discovered a few things. Her health, while sound has been severely affected. She will never be a full size cat and may always be trapped in a 'teenage' body... slightly small and thin. She is not the sharpest cookie that I have ever had and her enthusiasm for fun and adventure can cause her great trouble as she makes the same mistakes over and over again, not learning the lesson the first time.... or the tenth time. :) Her relationship with Maximilian Robespierre

(my gerbil) has grown over time as he has consistently lured her over to the cage and then bitten her. Over time, Robespierre has gotten tired of biting her (or maybe he feels sorry for her or understands her mental limitations) because he now longer bites her and so he will stand up on his hind feet and throw shavings at her or use his hind feet to kick them in her face. Over the year, she has finally learned to sit close... but not too close! Her fear is almost gone... not quite gone, but has disappeared for the most part. But a few days ago, I walked into the kitchen and she did something that no cat that have ever been feral has done to me before....

Just awesome! She is not the smoochiest cat I have ever had, but the blessings she has given me have become more obvious over time. Caring for her and her 'siblings' has allowed me to use my underused skills and has given me some feelings of success in the rest of the failure in my life. When things have become too much, knowing that these guys depended on me for their very lives would push and motivate me to continue forward. When I get off of work, I am excited to come home and say hello to every one. Her brothers are moving forward much more slowly. The gray Persian I have named Smoke for his ability to appear to dissolve into thin air. He has a few problems. Smoke is also trapped in a stunned body and will probably always look like a teenager. He is thin but with his thick hair, he hides it well... He has problems with digestion, but boy, his reflexes are awesome. Give him a few empty studs with no walls and he can get up, jump, and climb up them in 3 seconds tops.

Egg (or Enigma) is blessed with the perfect kitty size. He is the right adult size now and holds his weight well. The only obvious problem that he has is his eyesight. It is poor and his eyes are a bit infected.... not much I can do about it as I can't hold him down three times a day to put ointment in them. All three look forward to my return every day and have even started to play with my hands or feet when I am supine and haven't moved for a while. I am hopeful in the next few years I will have three great companions. They are truly the blessing I didn't expect at the time. :)

What blessings have you gotten in the form of trouble or difficulty? Anything as 'purry' as mine...? :D