An Unexpected Smile ... :)

So, another thing that I have totally been able to enjoy this winter came to me through a fluke and through the generosity (or laziness, I'm not sure which) of the previous tenant in my cabin. When he left, he didn't take quite a few pieces of furniture with him including a couch and a large barbeque grill – he also left a bobcat head skin too. :/ The couch was removed in pieces with the help of some good friends and placed in my front yard for future removal and I left the barbeque grill sitting outside right next to my porch. I have been concentrating more about getting moved in and settled than I have been worrying about my lawn or outdoor aesthetics.

One thing I have learned from living in the woods over the last decade is that nature doesn’t waste and many animals can adapt to our presence in their space and environment. And so a few weeks after I moved in, I opened the top lid of the barbeque grill to find not only what was left of the bobcat head, but what at first glance looked like the head itself had exploded outward. For the first few seconds, it looked like a brain that had curdled and in the taunt pressure of a sealed container that finally gives up under the insistence of the need for relief... white and cream and fluff and wet. After two quick blinks, I realized that what I was actually seeing was cotton stuffing from the couch I had so callously thrown into the front yard. That cotton batting along with the cat pelt had been shaped into an oval like ball... a warm and snug home. And as I watched, I discovered the occupants.

Within a few seconds, two mice peaked out of their nest (the eye holes in the pelt were their doors. :O ) and after a brief thought, I quickly walked away after shutting the lid. As it was getting cold, I didn’t want the mice to feel like they had to move and find a new place to live. I felt like I had been given an expected gift... one that I knew was there, but I couldn’t focus on too much... a quiet joy that I could hold close to my heart. Over the last month I have checked on them about once a week and have even made them a few small meals. It has been really fun! It's such a blessing to see: two small animals trying to survive in the world and being chased out of the house on the eve of winter. They quickly made plans and decide on a safe new place. And over a few days, they work- each one moving from the grill to the couch and ripping pieces of its stuffing into chunks and then hauling them back to the grill... having to climb up wood walls but also leap to the chimney to actually get back into the grill. Over time, they still seem comfortable and I know longer see the gruesome image that I originally saw when I opened the lid. Bug likes to look in on his visits and the mice look healthy and in good cheer. Sometimes its the small, unexpected things that not only give us a smile, but keep it on our face. And these two small creatures are doing that for me. I see their survival as a talisman against the cold and the darkness that comes this time of year. So, smile. For the Father even watches over the mice in his fields... so he watches over us!

Hunkering Down

This winter has already been a bit of a challenge to everyone in this area- more snow in three weeks than usual for December with some days reaching -15 degrees of chill... not counting the wind. The ice storm a few weeks back was stunningly pretty, but horrendously destructive as the weight of its icy beauty pulled trees into trees into deep waist-ed bows until they collapsed under their weight , acknowledging their submission to the elements and powers around them. I watched bushes literally collapse in upon themselves- imploding into their cores like a black hole had developed at their roots and was pulling them quickly and inexorably into the nothingness. I lay awake one night gazing blankly at the ceiling and just listening to the creaks, groans, whistling and popping of the many pieces of topiary and the woods in general as they fought and struggled not only for their limbs, but for their very lives. It felt a little bit like the end of the world... the sensation of the earth and all life starting to collapse and die into extinction. It was hard not to feel sad at the death and destruction that I can see from every window of my house and on my walks into the woods. It looked like a war had been fought... and that mother nature had lost, brought figuratively to her knees in surrender. Only one thing spoke of positive things: the small inlet in the woods under some trees with the clear prints and indents of at least five deer who have rested out the storm and then left, alive and ready to look for food.

The one drawback to moving into my awesome cabin at the very beginning of winter is that I had no time to locate and fix any areas or fissures in the walls, windows or doors that might need to be repaired. Most of the time I haven't really noticed – the stove keeps the place warm and cozy and I find myself quite comfortable. I have found that while the insulation is good, the windows are very thin and two of them have broken frames and so in small places, a steady stream of air flows in from the exterior. The wind and snow come in on three sides and I can't feel the cool draft in through the plugs in the wall as well. So when the weather is in negative numbers, it has actually been more of a struggle to keep the place well heated. I will say that even with this difficulty I smile – I just love living here and I feel like I have finally found my refuge... a place to regain my health and to allow the wounds of the last few years to heal. I have slowly been filling in some of the cracks and covering the openings in the windows with tape and down blankets to hold it all tightly together until better weather. That has helped a lot and has even provided more evening entertainment as some of the cats find it less challenging to run up the walls now. :)

So, we are all hunkered down and ready for three more months of snow and ice and wind. And as I drive slowly to work three days a week I look at the houses and neighborhoods as I slide past. The buildings seemed closed off too... covered with snow and ice... hunched or and oppressed, waiting for the warmth to return. How are things in your neck of the woods? Are you and your neighbors warm and comfortable? How is the winter affecting you and your plans? If you survived the ice storm, who did it affect the trees and wildlife around your home? I am very curious!

2012 Poetry Corner #5 : Wishes, Dreams, and Prayer

A wish is but a dream
Given voice and breath
A dream is but a prayer
Given thought and space

So what is a prayer
Except simply pure love
The voice and yearning
Of our very souls...

The pleading of a child
To an adored parent
The struggle to bridge the gap


How do you reach across the void
The chasm of living silence
To bring your thoughts in line with God
To make your day complete




It is a struggle, so truly hard
To put my will aside
To recognize my lack of power
In the face of the divine

And yet the struggle becomes a breeze
When my heart is truly open
And I feel the spirit and the peace
The brightness of the mind

So I find my hope in wishes
And refuge in my dreams
Joy within my being
And awe in my solitude

It will be well….