What kind of resolutions have you decided to attempt this year... and what safeguards have you set up to keep you focused on continuing your goal? Please share!
Showing posts with label goals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label goals. Show all posts
2014/01/07
Balanced Living in the New Year
What kind of resolutions have you decided to attempt this year... and what safeguards have you set up to keep you focused on continuing your goal? Please share!
2013/10/01
2013 Poetry Corner #6 - "To Be"
To dream is to stretch your soul
... to reach out of your reality to a new place
... to hope for future peace
To plan is to stretch your mind
... to focus on the changes that must be
... to hold onto a goal with purpose
To try is to acknowledge possibility
... of both failure and success
... to move onward anyway
To grow is to reach forth
... to know that to gain may cause pain
... that through adversity, we gain strength
To love is to believe
... to know that the Father loves us
... to have faith in ourselves
... to be
2011/11/05
Building A Support Team.....
Do you have a support system? After doing some study this week, I pretty much realized that I do not have a solid support system and I need one. The ability to learn how to develop one is not only a much needed skill, but something I truly want. I want to not only have a support system, but to be an intricate part of other support systems. So I took the time to make two lists. One list was of current important relationships and one was of past important relationships. And there came the challenge. My most important relationship is with my husband and even though that relationship is changing, it still is my most important relationship and has been for almost two decades. But I will say that I am not sure how supportive it really is. I don't think that any relationship can be strong and supportive if only one person is interested in that and is uncommunicative. Rob is important to me for so many reasons. His strength and positive energy I have found supportive in times of trouble and confusion. His smile has always been a constant and it has never failed to give me a joyful lift every time I see it. I look to him for someone that I trust to talk to, to help solve problems, and as a friend. That relationship is clearly changing as we go through the beginning process of divorce and my husband works on changing the relationship. So I am at the beginning of developing a new life path and I have the wonderful opportunity to be able to learn and actively develop a new support system to help with that. What a cool thing!
My family of origin has had a lot of influence in my development as a person and as a leader. How much of my emotional and physical development that can be easily pushed onto my family, my original personality, society, etc... I do not know and I don't think that really dissecting it in the past has really done much but cause blame and anger. Needless to say, I left my parent's (almost said mother's -that' blaming I think :) home at eighteen years old with very little confidence in myself and with few marketable skills besides the motivation to please and a high energy level that allowed me to perform work faster than the average bear. I think that I carry almost literally the heavy burden of emotion and experience of the past on my shoulders. If I was to try and decide the role that my family played in my growing as a leader, I think that I would need to re-frame it. I think what I can do is to say that I learned to survive and to depend on myself. I learned to appreciate caring friends and I learned to understand and be more tolerant of differences and mental illness. These skills have served me well in my life and have really taught me an understanding, compassion, and service for other people that I think I wouldn't have gained any other way. A diagnosis is no longer something to fear... it's just a silly label and it doesn't change who the person is, what they think and feel, or in most ways what they need. So I am willing to step forward to help others that many people do not feel comfortable spending time with and I can laugh and become friends with someone and not focus on their 'labels.' One thing that I learned from my family is to please others and I am trying to find a medium ground where I please others, but I do not harm myself in the doing. I think that my genuine understanding and re-framing of my past family experiences can show me the positive aspects of the skills that I learned and help me to also grow and learn from the difficulties that I see people still struggling with in my family.
This might sound a little bit of a cope out, but I do not feel like I have any really important relationships in the past that was truly influential over a period of time in a positive way. I can think of many people that had influenced me for short periods of time and mostly in positive, 'friendship' ways. Maybe in some ways I am still seeing the term leadership in too rigid a construct. Friends do help me to learn how to be a better leader by being a leader in my own life. My friend Katey has been very influential in helping me to be introspective in a way that is positive and can sustain growth. She has helped my confidence and she always is willing to say the hard things- if she needs to tell me something hurtful that is useful, she will do it. How many people have such a real true friend? Katey has been instrumental in helping me keep my mental health in my current life situation and my ability to laugh and see many things in a positive light. I think that she will be an important part of my support system as I move forward.
I have mentioned before that I do not think I have really had any mentors... at least not in the sense of what the word means to me. One person that pops into my mind is a friend of mine who died a few years ago. Her name was Sarah Drew and she was sixty years older than me. I met her at church and she became my closest friend and confidant for many years. In some ways, I think she does count as a mentor as I did tend to take her advice when it was given and she also taught me how to survive through really difficult situations. She was a child of divorce and the Great Depression, had three divorces herself, four children and a nursing career. She was a wonderfully caring person. She would let me know that I needed to stand up for myself... and she was willing to stand up to people a lot bigger than her to protect me. She could be quite fierce when people were intolerant and mean and I will always miss her... and I wish I could have been closer to her age so we would have more time together. I think there are a few ways that she helped me develop important skills. She helped me to develop strength and stamina in adversity and there were many times I might have stopped coming to church without her loyal and calming influence. She helped me to learn that family was what you made of it and not necessarily what you were born with – my son still misses Gram Sarah. She would listen to me, give advice, and support me in my trials.... and I would give her rides to church and to appointments and help her to accomplish the things that mattered to her... but she wasn't physically able to do anymore. Our relationship has ended in this life and I will not see her again in the flesh, but I still find that some of the things she told me still inspire me today. I sometimes modify my behavior remembering things that were important to her and how she would want me to behave. It helps me to look stronger in my difficulties and helps me to find humor and joy in even the really yucky things.
I am not sure I would still be alive much less still be in college and working without my friends. I know which friends I can count on now due to my current situation and yes, my list has definitely whittled down and has fewer names on it. But those friends have been tested through the fire of my current challenges... and have stayed. I think I can depend on them for anything. While there are only five of them (and they know who they are :) A few of them will give me honest feedback and I can share everything- I will say that while I know I can share, I find it difficult to do so. It's truly a flaw in me and not my close friends. One of my close friends has been close to me for six years or maybe a little more. Some of the qualities that I think I bring to that relationship are compassion and love, energy, a blending of strengths and weaknesses and personalities that really seem to crave each other. I am a lousy cook and she is not and loves to cook. I love to weed... and she doesn't really find that really enjoyable. We can discuss the really hurtful things in our lives and know that neither of us will be rejected no matter what. She is safe in so many ways and has made my life more full and joyful. I can think of a friendship with someone else that did not work out for me and has in fact changed my whole life. I can think of a few things that I would have done differently. I do not think I was tolerant or understanding in the way I needed to be. I think that I needed to understand that she just couldn't trust anyone and so I shouldn't have felt so threatened. I should have believed in myself more and understood. I also should have helped to keep rigid boundaries so that the friendship could continue to thrive. That said, I learned a lot and it appears that no matter what I gave that relationship, my friendship was easily thrown away... so I don't think that it was a good friendship no matter what I did or did not do. But it was a lesson learned and I learned it in a big way. :)
I have never had or thought about having a personal support group. I will say that I think I need to contemplate it. It sounds like a great idea in my current situation. My son had a support group at one point and I will admit that it didn't really work... but I am not sure that was the group's fault. If I had a support group, I would run it in many of the same ways. I would have five members and I would have us set goals for myself over the next few years. We would meet and work together to help me move forward through my current trials. I would like to potentially add a few members that do not think exactly like me so they could have a different perspective on my situation. I have so much going on in my life right now- it would be nice to have others to clap me on the shoulder and help me with confidence and with making priorities. Being surrounded by people who genuinely want me to succeed and were willing to help me work towards it would be quite a gift.
I am currently actually working on building a professional support network in the job that I just managed to land/get hired. I am now working on developing relationships with other postal employees so that I can call when I have questions and hopefully increase the amount of hours that I can get. I have been driving to close post offices to introduce myself and I have been working hard to show my flexibility and to develop relationships that are positive with my co-workers. The relationships are not close, but I am hoping that they will become a good network that I can receive help from, but I can also provide help for. I would include the few employees in my post office but also a few employees for the other close post offices. I am also a BLS instructor and I have been trying to figure out how to develop a network that can make that job more stable and consistent for me. Figuring out how to network this job is really hard as it really is a lot like self employment. I need to sell myself against other people in the same job with very little work available in my area. What I have been doing is making fliers and hanging them up and faxing the fliers to a list of businesses that I have slowly accumulated numbers for and sometimes that is helpful and people call me and I get work. I would love to get a networking group together where we could work together to help each other get business. I will admit that I am not sure how to do that- I have been working alone for quite a while. But I think this is a good idea... and I think I need to try it! I would need someone from my training center as they could help me find clients, someone who works in the school system and maybe even someone who works for licensing for the state. Seems like a tall order but I do think it is doable...
I am not really sure about the idea of a board of directors for my personal life. Would it make my life less chaotic and crazy? : D Anyway, I guess I do not really understand the question because I am not really sure that I understand how a board of directors is really a lot different from a support group. Is it basically that a board of directors has more authority to get things done. So if I thought something was good and the rest of the group didn't... they could overrule me whereas a support group can give advice but I can totally ignore it...? It that was the case, I think there would be many positive and negative experiences with a board of directors. If I was too focused on something and couldn't see the pitfalls, the board members could actually force me to look at other viewpoints which might be good... or bad if they were wrong. Other good points would be the variety of experience and backgrounds that could bring more ideas and diversity to my life. I have closed so many aspects of my life up and having a group of people that could in some ways force me to be more open would be horribly scary... but I might really find that it would be positive for me and my life experience. I think that I would like to have a group that is stronger than a support group, but has a little less power than a board of directors. We could work as a group to help me move forward, but everyone could agree to some work or tasks and would be held accountable to the group... but mistakes or life happens and the accountability would be personal and in the group. I wouldn't want harsh accountability or authority because that might make people feel like they should be more accountable to my group then those other people and trials in their lives. That is why (in my opinion) corporations have a board of directors and the rest of us have support groups. Because corporations out of necessity try and get their employees to give everything to them... and that the employee's personal life is very much second. In a support group, everyone is important and your presence and how you feel and your experiences matter. If you are having personal problems that interfere with your attendance or participation in a support group, people are concerned and will try to help. In my experience, if your personal problems affect your job as a board member, you have very little leeway and you are very likely to lose your job or other negative consequences. The idea of creating a unit with traits of both groups is very attractive and I will take some time to think about it.
My family of origin has had a lot of influence in my development as a person and as a leader. How much of my emotional and physical development that can be easily pushed onto my family, my original personality, society, etc... I do not know and I don't think that really dissecting it in the past has really done much but cause blame and anger. Needless to say, I left my parent's (almost said mother's -that' blaming I think :) home at eighteen years old with very little confidence in myself and with few marketable skills besides the motivation to please and a high energy level that allowed me to perform work faster than the average bear. I think that I carry almost literally the heavy burden of emotion and experience of the past on my shoulders. If I was to try and decide the role that my family played in my growing as a leader, I think that I would need to re-frame it. I think what I can do is to say that I learned to survive and to depend on myself. I learned to appreciate caring friends and I learned to understand and be more tolerant of differences and mental illness. These skills have served me well in my life and have really taught me an understanding, compassion, and service for other people that I think I wouldn't have gained any other way. A diagnosis is no longer something to fear... it's just a silly label and it doesn't change who the person is, what they think and feel, or in most ways what they need. So I am willing to step forward to help others that many people do not feel comfortable spending time with and I can laugh and become friends with someone and not focus on their 'labels.' One thing that I learned from my family is to please others and I am trying to find a medium ground where I please others, but I do not harm myself in the doing. I think that my genuine understanding and re-framing of my past family experiences can show me the positive aspects of the skills that I learned and help me to also grow and learn from the difficulties that I see people still struggling with in my family.
This might sound a little bit of a cope out, but I do not feel like I have any really important relationships in the past that was truly influential over a period of time in a positive way. I can think of many people that had influenced me for short periods of time and mostly in positive, 'friendship' ways. Maybe in some ways I am still seeing the term leadership in too rigid a construct. Friends do help me to learn how to be a better leader by being a leader in my own life. My friend Katey has been very influential in helping me to be introspective in a way that is positive and can sustain growth. She has helped my confidence and she always is willing to say the hard things- if she needs to tell me something hurtful that is useful, she will do it. How many people have such a real true friend? Katey has been instrumental in helping me keep my mental health in my current life situation and my ability to laugh and see many things in a positive light. I think that she will be an important part of my support system as I move forward.
I have mentioned before that I do not think I have really had any mentors... at least not in the sense of what the word means to me. One person that pops into my mind is a friend of mine who died a few years ago. Her name was Sarah Drew and she was sixty years older than me. I met her at church and she became my closest friend and confidant for many years. In some ways, I think she does count as a mentor as I did tend to take her advice when it was given and she also taught me how to survive through really difficult situations. She was a child of divorce and the Great Depression, had three divorces herself, four children and a nursing career. She was a wonderfully caring person. She would let me know that I needed to stand up for myself... and she was willing to stand up to people a lot bigger than her to protect me. She could be quite fierce when people were intolerant and mean and I will always miss her... and I wish I could have been closer to her age so we would have more time together. I think there are a few ways that she helped me develop important skills. She helped me to develop strength and stamina in adversity and there were many times I might have stopped coming to church without her loyal and calming influence. She helped me to learn that family was what you made of it and not necessarily what you were born with – my son still misses Gram Sarah. She would listen to me, give advice, and support me in my trials.... and I would give her rides to church and to appointments and help her to accomplish the things that mattered to her... but she wasn't physically able to do anymore. Our relationship has ended in this life and I will not see her again in the flesh, but I still find that some of the things she told me still inspire me today. I sometimes modify my behavior remembering things that were important to her and how she would want me to behave. It helps me to look stronger in my difficulties and helps me to find humor and joy in even the really yucky things.
I am not sure I would still be alive much less still be in college and working without my friends. I know which friends I can count on now due to my current situation and yes, my list has definitely whittled down and has fewer names on it. But those friends have been tested through the fire of my current challenges... and have stayed. I think I can depend on them for anything. While there are only five of them (and they know who they are :) A few of them will give me honest feedback and I can share everything- I will say that while I know I can share, I find it difficult to do so. It's truly a flaw in me and not my close friends. One of my close friends has been close to me for six years or maybe a little more. Some of the qualities that I think I bring to that relationship are compassion and love, energy, a blending of strengths and weaknesses and personalities that really seem to crave each other. I am a lousy cook and she is not and loves to cook. I love to weed... and she doesn't really find that really enjoyable. We can discuss the really hurtful things in our lives and know that neither of us will be rejected no matter what. She is safe in so many ways and has made my life more full and joyful. I can think of a friendship with someone else that did not work out for me and has in fact changed my whole life. I can think of a few things that I would have done differently. I do not think I was tolerant or understanding in the way I needed to be. I think that I needed to understand that she just couldn't trust anyone and so I shouldn't have felt so threatened. I should have believed in myself more and understood. I also should have helped to keep rigid boundaries so that the friendship could continue to thrive. That said, I learned a lot and it appears that no matter what I gave that relationship, my friendship was easily thrown away... so I don't think that it was a good friendship no matter what I did or did not do. But it was a lesson learned and I learned it in a big way. :)
I have never had or thought about having a personal support group. I will say that I think I need to contemplate it. It sounds like a great idea in my current situation. My son had a support group at one point and I will admit that it didn't really work... but I am not sure that was the group's fault. If I had a support group, I would run it in many of the same ways. I would have five members and I would have us set goals for myself over the next few years. We would meet and work together to help me move forward through my current trials. I would like to potentially add a few members that do not think exactly like me so they could have a different perspective on my situation. I have so much going on in my life right now- it would be nice to have others to clap me on the shoulder and help me with confidence and with making priorities. Being surrounded by people who genuinely want me to succeed and were willing to help me work towards it would be quite a gift.
I am currently actually working on building a professional support network in the job that I just managed to land/get hired. I am now working on developing relationships with other postal employees so that I can call when I have questions and hopefully increase the amount of hours that I can get. I have been driving to close post offices to introduce myself and I have been working hard to show my flexibility and to develop relationships that are positive with my co-workers. The relationships are not close, but I am hoping that they will become a good network that I can receive help from, but I can also provide help for. I would include the few employees in my post office but also a few employees for the other close post offices. I am also a BLS instructor and I have been trying to figure out how to develop a network that can make that job more stable and consistent for me. Figuring out how to network this job is really hard as it really is a lot like self employment. I need to sell myself against other people in the same job with very little work available in my area. What I have been doing is making fliers and hanging them up and faxing the fliers to a list of businesses that I have slowly accumulated numbers for and sometimes that is helpful and people call me and I get work. I would love to get a networking group together where we could work together to help each other get business. I will admit that I am not sure how to do that- I have been working alone for quite a while. But I think this is a good idea... and I think I need to try it! I would need someone from my training center as they could help me find clients, someone who works in the school system and maybe even someone who works for licensing for the state. Seems like a tall order but I do think it is doable...
I am not really sure about the idea of a board of directors for my personal life. Would it make my life less chaotic and crazy? : D Anyway, I guess I do not really understand the question because I am not really sure that I understand how a board of directors is really a lot different from a support group. Is it basically that a board of directors has more authority to get things done. So if I thought something was good and the rest of the group didn't... they could overrule me whereas a support group can give advice but I can totally ignore it...? It that was the case, I think there would be many positive and negative experiences with a board of directors. If I was too focused on something and couldn't see the pitfalls, the board members could actually force me to look at other viewpoints which might be good... or bad if they were wrong. Other good points would be the variety of experience and backgrounds that could bring more ideas and diversity to my life. I have closed so many aspects of my life up and having a group of people that could in some ways force me to be more open would be horribly scary... but I might really find that it would be positive for me and my life experience. I think that I would like to have a group that is stronger than a support group, but has a little less power than a board of directors. We could work as a group to help me move forward, but everyone could agree to some work or tasks and would be held accountable to the group... but mistakes or life happens and the accountability would be personal and in the group. I wouldn't want harsh accountability or authority because that might make people feel like they should be more accountable to my group then those other people and trials in their lives. That is why (in my opinion) corporations have a board of directors and the rest of us have support groups. Because corporations out of necessity try and get their employees to give everything to them... and that the employee's personal life is very much second. In a support group, everyone is important and your presence and how you feel and your experiences matter. If you are having personal problems that interfere with your attendance or participation in a support group, people are concerned and will try to help. In my experience, if your personal problems affect your job as a board member, you have very little leeway and you are very likely to lose your job or other negative consequences. The idea of creating a unit with traits of both groups is very attractive and I will take some time to think about it.
2011/10/18
A Day of Travel...
Today was a different day. I will admit that as recently as a week ago my plans for the next few months were pretty much strictly set and ready to enforce. And then I got a gluten exposure and became so sick that I lost a baker's dozen worth of pounds, stopped sleeping and then discovered that my last grandmother is gone. So instead of rigidly working on things I have thrown together a bag and I am flying out to Utah. It feels so strange to be doing this- a part of me feels like I have almost run away from my responsibilities. But I am determined to use this opportunity that has been thrown into my path. I brought some homework as well as some work for mailing and I am ready to continue on with much of the work that is currently engaging my time. I also have a few goals and I hope that maybe some of my family will be willing to help me out with them. Here they are: 1. I would like to go to the family history center in Salt Lake for one day and do research on a few things. I have a genealogy job to complete as well as some questions to answer about some work that I have been doing. I have three lines that I am working on from three different families and it would be awesome to get a little bit farther on with those! 2. I have a list of a few things that I wish to get from the Distribution Center for some members at church and myself. A trip to a bookstore wouldn't be out of the question either... ;). I love the talk tapes that I got last time I was in Utah and the best ones for me seemed to be on the clearance rack so I am hoping to be blessed in that regard again. I am sure that my church library would love me to be lucky too. :) 3. I brought my temple recommend and I would like to go to the temple at least once. My preference is a minimum of two times as going to the temple at home is a little tougher and I will not be attending my temple trip this Saturday... as I will be in Utah! It seems perfectly foolish to be so close to several temples and not to take advantage of this opportunity. I am blessed that a kind member mentioned the temple in passing to me on Sunday- otherwise, I think I would have forgotten my recommend entirely as I was so focused on getting down to Utah and what it would entail planning wise. But I brought it and I would love to take advantage of the opportunities that are available. 4. I want to spend some good time with family. I desperately want to see that they are good and healthy... and maybe I am in need of some assurance that even though I have problems I am a good person and that people want to be around me. Silly, but there are my cards flat out on the table. 5. I do so want to get my hair cut and styled. Something that helps me to feel beautiful and different than the tired and well worn mother that I am. While traveling today has been exhausting, I have had many blessings and fun. My alarm didn't go off but I managed to get up and get going pretty quickly. I got my library books and the CPR mannequins dropped off and managed to get to a friend's house without hitting the slowly lumbering skunk that was crossing the road on the Brooklin border. The skunk was a juvenile- could tell from the stripes and he was smallish- and that poor skunk didn't seem to have any idea of how to deal with my car. So he simply stopped looking at me and kept plodding along... isn't that something cats do- close their eyes or not look at you in the hopes that you will not see them? It was quite cute. My beautiful friend got me to the airport and I was able to get on the flight. I tried to chat with some people and was friendly and actually had fun. I was overwhelmed by the views out of the windows of the plane and by the sheer quantity of space and people. It amazes me every time I leave Maine and I think that is a clue as to why I love Maine so much. If I am weird, there are fewer people to notice. I can mow my lawn in the nude and only a rare coincidence would turn it into an embarrassment. I can feel Heavenly Father closer because I can hear his creations more than the machines of men. And I become one of those creations. The views of Philadelphia that seemed to stretch as far as my eye could see- Phoenix is so flat that the views of the city and suburbs appeared never ending through the windows of the jet. The portions of the grand canyon that I could see were awe inspiring but also a little boring... after all, it seemed fairly small and from my height some portions simply looked like large rips in the earth. :). Seeing the mountains again was wonderful too. I have completed some homework, finished a book and even had a little food that I packed to eat... including four cupcakes. (So I should probably watch my diet for the next week as that was a week's worth of desserts that security wasn't sure I should bring through. They kept me remarkably full though and were absolutely decadent. :). I had my bag checked for free and so I didn't have to carry it around and enjoyed the free juice and the dry air. So... Salt Lake City. Here I come!
2011/05/05
The Joy of Ducks.....
Yesterday, I found a beautiful duck feather in my yard. Even though I have ducks, I rarely see beautiful feathers. When they molt the feathers are tired and worn and the beautiful feathers tend to easily be blown away. But yesterday, I found a beautiful one just as it dropped off my Khaki Campbell named Opal.
There is just an innate beauty in feathers to me. They are soft, smell nice and feel 'warm'. There is something earthy and wonderful about them – I sometimes feel like I can feel the sun radiating out from the light fibers. I do not know if I feel that way because I just love ducks in general or if feathers themselves bring these thoughts to mind. I will admit that I am totally partial to birds, but ducks are really amazing to me. I can feel my heart lift as I watch them waddle across the yard and ducks have the most amazing personalities. Don't get me wrong, other birds have personalities and we have had some chickens whose personality sparkles.... but almost all ducks I have ever had the privilege of sharing space with just seem to bubble and shine and I guess remind me of my own personality.
The find of loose feathers reminds me that spring is here. That the earth is ready to grow and this is a time of growth for me too. What I do now and the choices I make will effect my 'harvest' in the fall. Have I been successful or on the way to successful with the goals I made in January? Am I preparing myself appropriately for the choices that I have? In the end, as I watch my ducks rejoice in my yard for the earth's renewal, they are teaching me. They remind me that trouble should fall off of me like water falls off a duck's back.... that humor is necessary for so many situations in life and makes things easier... and that the interactions with the creatures of the earth may be some of the most fulfilling interactions outside of family. Their enthusiasm for life and joy in the present moment are examples that I think many human beings- including myself- need reminding of on a constant basis.
This is a very snotty thought, but I feel very sorry for people who do not have the opportunity to be 'enslaved' by ducks. It is a wonderful blessing in my life! :)
2011/01/02
A New Year... and a New Perspective/Start.
A New Year! Please do not think that I am being even the tiniest bit sarcastic when I say 'Thank God for a New Year!' I am so grateful for the New Year. I know that the idea of a new year is mainly symbolic- that your life hasn't really changed... that the trials and difficulties that you are facing haven't just disappeared or even been resolved... In reality, nothing surrounding you has changed.
However, the symbolism of the new year invites us to once again become introspective and to really look inside ourselves and see what we lack or what we wish to change... what we see and are disappointed to find...and maybe what we wish to accomplish that we have been putting off (self reflection so to speak). This time of year reminds us that the time is now... not later, and the change that we want to see in the world must begin with us. So, while we should take the time to be introspective and mindful every day, many of us don't and that is a skill and a habit that I am still trying to develop.
So I have spent time over the last few weeks really looking at my life and instead of focusing on the trials ans the pain, I have tried to really try and figure out what I have control over and what I would like. And also, what is necessary. But, I made a few rules for myself. One rule is that I can only make a few changes or attempts to change - otherwise all of my good intentions will go the way of most New Year's resolutions... which is distraction, disappointment, and failure. Also, I wanted to pick three things that people could hold me to- I would have one year to complete and the goals should be easy enough to substantiate by others so I couldn't just blow it off. I really wanted to know that I could be held accountable. And last, I wanted the few goals that I shared to be ones that were not too personal so I felt like I could discuss them with others. I am determined to not just get so busy that I do not continue to work on these goals as well as a few personal ones. So here they are...
1. I want to have the credits for both of my minors concentrations to be completed this year- I think it is quite doable.
2. I am pretty horrible at math. I would like to study enough and learn enough to be able to take the placement test at college and pass it - i.e. I want to pass it enough that I am not relegated to prehistory math.... yes, I am really that bad. But it I am able to place high enough to take pre-algebra and algebra and pass them- I will have my associates degree!
3. I would like to get one paying genealogy job this year. It doesn't need to be a big one, but I would really like to test my talent on someone who isn't a friend or relative and really hone my skills! I think that would really do quite a few things for me... including boost my self esteem. And it is something that I love!
So those are a few of my thoughts... What are your goals for the new year? And how many of you will pay attention and help hold me to mine...? :)
2010/12/23
Christmas Inspiration from the Prophets
Over the last month, I have been looking for inspiration. This last year has been really tough and I will admit that I think that this is the most painful Christmas I have ever looked forward to. Christmas has always seemed so beautiful and easy and a time for family to be together. This year my family will be together... but we will be separate in so many ways. So I have continued to do the things that I do for trying to heal my spirit- I read my scriptures, pray, try to think positive thoughts and attempt to accomplish 'good' …. whatever that might mean to my mind at the time. Over the last month as I have been searching, I found a letter that my grandmother saved with these three quotes. And so I have read them and pondered over them. It appears that she saved these quotes for at least a few decades.
Christmas is a fitting time to renew our desires and to strengthen our determination to do all that lies within our power to make real among men the message heralded by the angels when the Savior was born. Let us glorify God by seeking the good, the true, the beautiful. Let us strive to establish peace on earth by exercising that same good toward one another which God has shown toward us!...
Love for God and for one another should be the Christmas theme. Such was the divine announcement by the heavenly host that first heralded the “glad tidings of great joy!”
- David O. McKay
Christmas has had the effect of turning men's thoughts to Christ and to his doctrine and works. We are apt to forget the character of the structure which he built; and some are even prone to consider that his ideals are impracticable. Men have said that the theories which he taught are beautiful, but that under modern arrangements, these cannot be put into practice.
Yet now he is of all value, and exercises all influence, for only through him are we saved... During this holiday season there are... souls who enter into the enjoyment of the rich blessings and who do their full share to glorify the life of their fellows.... All... may well find profit in the spirit of Christmas, and by good deeds or blessed sacrifice seek for that gift of inward wealth to be found by a close study of the life, character, and gospel of Jesus Christ, and by adherence to his doctrines.
- Joseph F. Smith
“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace and good will toward men.” Thus the hosts of heaven rejoiced when the savior was born and good tidings of great joy were proclaimed to all people. A new star appeared and a new dispensation was ushered in...
We are grateful for what he has done, and gladly honor his natal day. Remembering the offering he made, the anguish that he suffered; glorying in the resurrection and promise of eternal life, we hallow and revere his holy name. Let us so live that when our day on earth is done, we shall be worthy to be one with him, as he and the Father are one.
To my fellowmen I commend the life of Jesus of Nazareth as the profoundest ideal of the ages.
- George Albert Smith
I share these quotes with you in the hopes that I can share a tiny bit of my heart... and I hope that everyone has a good Christmas. May we all be safe and able to enjoy the time with our families, the time to reflect on our goals and our life, and the thankfulness for our blessings. Merry Christmas! :)
Christmas is a fitting time to renew our desires and to strengthen our determination to do all that lies within our power to make real among men the message heralded by the angels when the Savior was born. Let us glorify God by seeking the good, the true, the beautiful. Let us strive to establish peace on earth by exercising that same good toward one another which God has shown toward us!...
Love for God and for one another should be the Christmas theme. Such was the divine announcement by the heavenly host that first heralded the “glad tidings of great joy!”
- David O. McKay
Christmas has had the effect of turning men's thoughts to Christ and to his doctrine and works. We are apt to forget the character of the structure which he built; and some are even prone to consider that his ideals are impracticable. Men have said that the theories which he taught are beautiful, but that under modern arrangements, these cannot be put into practice.
Yet now he is of all value, and exercises all influence, for only through him are we saved... During this holiday season there are... souls who enter into the enjoyment of the rich blessings and who do their full share to glorify the life of their fellows.... All... may well find profit in the spirit of Christmas, and by good deeds or blessed sacrifice seek for that gift of inward wealth to be found by a close study of the life, character, and gospel of Jesus Christ, and by adherence to his doctrines.
- Joseph F. Smith
“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace and good will toward men.” Thus the hosts of heaven rejoiced when the savior was born and good tidings of great joy were proclaimed to all people. A new star appeared and a new dispensation was ushered in...
We are grateful for what he has done, and gladly honor his natal day. Remembering the offering he made, the anguish that he suffered; glorying in the resurrection and promise of eternal life, we hallow and revere his holy name. Let us so live that when our day on earth is done, we shall be worthy to be one with him, as he and the Father are one.
To my fellowmen I commend the life of Jesus of Nazareth as the profoundest ideal of the ages.
- George Albert Smith
I share these quotes with you in the hopes that I can share a tiny bit of my heart... and I hope that everyone has a good Christmas. May we all be safe and able to enjoy the time with our families, the time to reflect on our goals and our life, and the thankfulness for our blessings. Merry Christmas! :)
2010/09/06
History, It's Importance, and Memory
This is just some homework that I did for my Local History Class, but I really liked the information I needed to get together for it and thought it was useful!
What is the Importance of Memory in History?:
Memory is so important to us as conscious beings for so many of the things we do in life as well as for developing an accurate or inaccurate impression of historical events. In our daily lives, we make decisions based on our past experiences- what to cook, read, and even the classes we picked to take this semester in school are based on our past experiences and what memories we have – “I have managed to complete four courses with my family situation with decent grades, I needed certain courses... which ones could I pick that I would like and find fun.... and here I am.”
Memory when recording history is important because it gives history a flow and an emotional meaning and knowledge that you just can not get from most basic historical documents. A piece of paper placed on the President's desk stating that unemployment rates are over fifty percent (like the Great Depression) will express facts- it is up to your brain to attempt to figure out what the facts mean...emotionally, physically, etc... Interviewing the people who lived through the Great Depression, how they managed to survive and what life was like to live in that time gives you a real picture of that time. The little things that the macro- documents might not think to tell you. /An example of that would be a story that my best friend told me. She was in her early teens during the Great Depression living on a farm in Maine. If someone came to the door and asked for food, her parents would give it to them no questions asked. One day when Sarah was alone a man came and tried to break into the house. He threatened her and her dog had to chase the man away. People didn't come to the door for food after that and she found out later that a pole by the road near their home had been marked with a special mark that warned people not to go there as they weren't friendly. She always felt bad about that because they were willing to give away food- that guy had just gone too far. The idea that 'tramps' or other transients marked the poles is something I would never have thought to look for and most documentation about the GD would not have listed it/
What are the Drawbacks of Memory?
That said, memory can also be a hindrance to the historian... or should be taken with a grain of salt without other corroborating evidence. Memory is faulty and is based upon our perceptions, biases viewpoints and even our biology. Unlike the Harry Potter books, memory is rarely so detailed and specific unless there was a large stressor involved... and the stressor itself is bound to change our perceptions of what is happening. Some things that can change memory are embarrassment, time lapsed between the events, emotional undercurrents, lack of understanding due to poor communication, age etc... So memory can help fill in gaps between documents and what is known, but it can also confuse the issue with irrelevant information. /An interesting study that was released a few years ago did a study of memory by interviewing thousands of people the day after the OJ Simpson trial verdict. They asked them where they were and what they had been doing when they heard the verdict and then a few years later asked them the same questions. Almost half had a completely different memory than the one they had given before and many were very insistent that their current memory was correct and the researches were probably wrong!/
What is the Importance of the Nearby Past?
Nearby history is important for two reasons. The first is that it affects us on a daily basis. What happens in the homes of my community affects me as surely as what happens in mine. And these dynamics will continue to change the experience of the individuals living around me (and me as well) and will affect our decisions which in turn, will affect the history of the community. Nearby history is also important because as I mentioned above, it really helps flesh out the macro image of a historical event and gives the larger picture more nuance, and more accuracy. And history can play a huge role in a person's life and current situation. A person who had bad parents may chose to not have children, or to have children but do counseling and classes to attempt to change patterns in their life, or may chose to do nothing and hope for the best. We are the living embodiment of our history which affects the way we think and what decisions we make. Even the large picture of history is something that affects all of us; climate change, GMO's, war, recession, etc... It may affect us in very different ways – some may choose to volunteer to non-profits in war zones while some may chose smaller ways to contribute such as recycling and trying to reuse items longer before replacing them- but these issues do affect us all.
What Role does History Play in our Lives Today?
By understanding our past, we are better able to understand our future. When we understand what motivated our parents, we understand better why they make the decisions they do. When we understand what motivates us, we can understand better how to accomplish our goals. And understanding what motivates others or why they make the decisions that they do helps us to accomplish our goals because we will be more successful in convincing others to help (or at least not hinder!) We evaluate our history when we teach our children and if we didn't like the way our parents did something, then we try to change it. When we see the struggles that others have made for advancement (ex. civil rights), we feel motivated and capable to continue the struggle which becomes our personal history and a piece of the larger framework. And some groups are defined by our history -whether we are aware of our history or not. As a practicing Mormon, I have found that many people in my church know very little of church history and find themselves shocked by non-members who know more about our history than they do and as a member we are judged- for good or ill- by what people perceive of that history. I am sure that other groups-religious or otherwise- have the same problem. Being ignorant of your history doesn't change it or how it might affect you and your current lifestyle, family, etc...
What is the Importance of Memory in History?:
Memory is so important to us as conscious beings for so many of the things we do in life as well as for developing an accurate or inaccurate impression of historical events. In our daily lives, we make decisions based on our past experiences- what to cook, read, and even the classes we picked to take this semester in school are based on our past experiences and what memories we have – “I have managed to complete four courses with my family situation with decent grades, I needed certain courses... which ones could I pick that I would like and find fun.... and here I am.”
Memory when recording history is important because it gives history a flow and an emotional meaning and knowledge that you just can not get from most basic historical documents. A piece of paper placed on the President's desk stating that unemployment rates are over fifty percent (like the Great Depression) will express facts- it is up to your brain to attempt to figure out what the facts mean...emotionally, physically, etc... Interviewing the people who lived through the Great Depression, how they managed to survive and what life was like to live in that time gives you a real picture of that time. The little things that the macro- documents might not think to tell you. /An example of that would be a story that my best friend told me. She was in her early teens during the Great Depression living on a farm in Maine. If someone came to the door and asked for food, her parents would give it to them no questions asked. One day when Sarah was alone a man came and tried to break into the house. He threatened her and her dog had to chase the man away. People didn't come to the door for food after that and she found out later that a pole by the road near their home had been marked with a special mark that warned people not to go there as they weren't friendly. She always felt bad about that because they were willing to give away food- that guy had just gone too far. The idea that 'tramps' or other transients marked the poles is something I would never have thought to look for and most documentation about the GD would not have listed it/
What are the Drawbacks of Memory?
That said, memory can also be a hindrance to the historian... or should be taken with a grain of salt without other corroborating evidence. Memory is faulty and is based upon our perceptions, biases viewpoints and even our biology. Unlike the Harry Potter books, memory is rarely so detailed and specific unless there was a large stressor involved... and the stressor itself is bound to change our perceptions of what is happening. Some things that can change memory are embarrassment, time lapsed between the events, emotional undercurrents, lack of understanding due to poor communication, age etc... So memory can help fill in gaps between documents and what is known, but it can also confuse the issue with irrelevant information. /An interesting study that was released a few years ago did a study of memory by interviewing thousands of people the day after the OJ Simpson trial verdict. They asked them where they were and what they had been doing when they heard the verdict and then a few years later asked them the same questions. Almost half had a completely different memory than the one they had given before and many were very insistent that their current memory was correct and the researches were probably wrong!/
What is the Importance of the Nearby Past?
Nearby history is important for two reasons. The first is that it affects us on a daily basis. What happens in the homes of my community affects me as surely as what happens in mine. And these dynamics will continue to change the experience of the individuals living around me (and me as well) and will affect our decisions which in turn, will affect the history of the community. Nearby history is also important because as I mentioned above, it really helps flesh out the macro image of a historical event and gives the larger picture more nuance, and more accuracy. And history can play a huge role in a person's life and current situation. A person who had bad parents may chose to not have children, or to have children but do counseling and classes to attempt to change patterns in their life, or may chose to do nothing and hope for the best. We are the living embodiment of our history which affects the way we think and what decisions we make. Even the large picture of history is something that affects all of us; climate change, GMO's, war, recession, etc... It may affect us in very different ways – some may choose to volunteer to non-profits in war zones while some may chose smaller ways to contribute such as recycling and trying to reuse items longer before replacing them- but these issues do affect us all.
What Role does History Play in our Lives Today?
By understanding our past, we are better able to understand our future. When we understand what motivated our parents, we understand better why they make the decisions they do. When we understand what motivates us, we can understand better how to accomplish our goals. And understanding what motivates others or why they make the decisions that they do helps us to accomplish our goals because we will be more successful in convincing others to help (or at least not hinder!) We evaluate our history when we teach our children and if we didn't like the way our parents did something, then we try to change it. When we see the struggles that others have made for advancement (ex. civil rights), we feel motivated and capable to continue the struggle which becomes our personal history and a piece of the larger framework. And some groups are defined by our history -whether we are aware of our history or not. As a practicing Mormon, I have found that many people in my church know very little of church history and find themselves shocked by non-members who know more about our history than they do and as a member we are judged- for good or ill- by what people perceive of that history. I am sure that other groups-religious or otherwise- have the same problem. Being ignorant of your history doesn't change it or how it might affect you and your current lifestyle, family, etc...
2010/05/23
French, Anyone?
I have decided to make an attempt to learn French. I need to stress that this will be a tiny attempt. In my short past, I have found the attempt to learn a language to be something that is an impossibility to me- like math. No matter how hard I try, I have not been successful. Its almost like I have a mental block that tells me I can't do it... so therefore I live up to that idea and I am truly unable to do it. I feel a little uncomfortable with that idea though; the idea that something that is perfectly possible in impossible for me. I am intelligent, kind, motivated, and determined. There is no rational reason that I can come up with that I cannot learn a language. And I loved my time in Paris and I am interested in moving to Canada... so...
Today I will try! I pledge to give five minutes at least four days a week to this goal. Not so much that I feel pressured, but enough to remind me of my goal and to learn a word and how to use it. And if I am really good... I will try to stick to appropriate words, although that doesn't sound like as much fun! :o)
So, if I want to try and do this without the help of my family because I am hoping it will be a pleasant surprise, does anybody else know of any good resources for learning the language? If you have learned a language before, what helped you the most? And please, what was not helpful to you? What advice would you give me?
2010/01/16
The Collision Between Disability, Mormonism, Simple Living and Feminism
For awhile many people have told me that I should start a blog. Today I had an experience that convinced me that I should. I have always felt that I do not have a lot to talk about that is different from anyone else. But today, I learned that being able to see the world in shades of gray and not the harsh branding of black/ white is a gift that I do have that I can share with others. I learned that maybe my experiences might genuinely benefit others and in the end... truly benefit myself. So, my goal for this blog over time is to explore the collision between disability, Mormonism, simple living, and feminism. I would also like to discuss the concerns of my heart and the questions that crop up in my life.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)