Catch Up

Whew! Sometimes life just sneaks up on you. I feel like I will be coasting along pretty well for a bit and then the world tips slightly and everything slides to the side and falls down. Then I end up spending way too much time trying to pick everything back up and level up my life again. IT doesn't necessarily mean that everything is bad, just a jumble of positive and negative tumbled together that needs to be carefully winnowed out and restored to its appropriate place in my life. These times are hard but something I try to be thankful for. After all, these times help define our goals and then our lives. You never learn as much as you do when you are trying to evaluate what is important and necessary and what must be laid aside... no matter how important it still feels to you. The Buddhist principle of impermanence is a wonderful thing to learn even if it isn't a principle that is the slightest bit easy or comfortable... at least its not for me.

Overall, things are going OK. Finances are still pretty shaky and I am not fully stable as I would like to be in that regard. However, I have plenty to eat and my insurance is covering the majority of my medical bills- I can't fathom what I would do without insurance with my health problems. Just this month alone I have six appointment and 2 MRIs. My monthly doctor's visits would put me into bankruptcy if I didn't have insurance. Having Ehler's Danlos can be a bit of a trial sometimes and having insurance really is critical fro a decent quality of life. I am very grateful that I do have health insurance and wish that this country could get it together and provide single payer healthcare. No one should have to go without healthcare due to expense.

I am back to wearing a brace on my left ankle as it doesn't want to stay fully in its socket. The brace is controlling it well so I tend to have moments that I forget I am dealing with that problem. I have learned not to sit on it or to sit indian style- those are errors I will pay for fairly quickly both in inappropriate joint movement and pain. I also am trying to learn to pivot more slowly instead of quick turning 'jolts' to change direction.

MY car has been fixed and for the moment the fuzzy parts of the household are healthy. Watson passed away last weekend and that has been a sad experience- I still feel like I can see him lope along in my peripheral vision when I am moving throughout the house. However, everyone that was very ill has passed on at this point and I am hopeful for a period of time of good health for me and my fuzzy companions.

Sleep has improved a bit which is helpful. I would definitely prefer better sleep every day- the nightmares are not helpful most nights. However, they are improving or at least I'm having fewer of them... that's progress! Sometimes when I wake up from a nightmare, I hear the lyrics of a BareNaked Ladies song in my head:

I wake up scared. I wake up strange. Its the hair shirt I wear. This hair shirt is woven from your brown hair. This song is the cross that I bear... bear with me... bear with me... - "What a Good Boy"

Strange lyrics for strange dreams I guess...

I hate when I get so busy that I do not write. I really like writing. I should do it more.

The Space Between Life and Death

To sit at the bedside of the death of a friend is to look into the gaping mouth of hell. Grief chops at you little by little as their life is slowly drawn away. Sometimes, watching every breathe is painful and you want to see the continued rise of the chest ... and you desperately want it to stop to end the suffering therein. You find yourself stroking the frail frame and speaking of the banal because you can't say all that is in your heart for there are no words... or the words and emotions behind them will not help and will only cause more hurt. So you sit quietly and listen to every breath until you find your own mind and body become the mirror image of the life ebbing away. Your breathing slows and all you can see is the simple image of life and desire intertwined. You start to feel their pain in your own body and your mind whispers the same prayer over and over and over. You don't even feel the tears running down your cheeks and barely notice that you can no longer see as your glasses are coated with the tears that have been falling over your lids for what seems like eternities. You struggle to notice the discomfort in your limbs because your own comfort has fallen behind your one need- to be present in those few moments that will soon be over and will never be repeated. In these moments, I feel my own weakness... my own inability to stop suffering or help to end it. I feel some of my beliefs crumble to ash and I am forced to face the deficits in my faith and my heart. The bone deep weariness that surrounds you feels like the new normal as everything you do brings you back to this single point... sitting in a chair next to a friend... watching the failing physical frame and murmuring to the strong soul within which will soon be released. You watch the seizures and you shake, the breathing and you mirror it, the silence that envelopes you both. For this brief periods of time, I hate death and I pray for it... I push it away as I grasp it... I welcome any positive change even if it means death has won for now. Soon, the mouth of hell will close and only love and grief will live on... but in these brief moments I feel like I learn more about what hell really is and what heaven may be than any Sunday school lesson ever taught. And I do have so much more to learn... so much more...

1857 / 2001

Every once in a while, I find that I feel sort of uneasy about church history. It's the feeling that I see something that nobody else recognizes and the wall of silence that it seems to build up around me and others can be a bit uncomfortable. And on this day every year, so many American church members will fill their Facebook walls with images meant to instill patriotism and righteous anger. For some reason this year, it feels harder to watch in silence.

The build up to this day of remembrance of the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2011 is pretty big every year. Whether you knew anyone who died in that attack or not, it was a powerful statement and injury on our consciousness. The understanding, motivations, deaths, heroes, and compassion that almost always arise in force during times of great trial was burned into us and whether we agreed with some of the motivating factors or not, we still thought about them, chewed on them, and swallowed the bitter pain of the waste and irrationality of it all.

This day is a tough day for many and an anniversary of trauma and pain. However, for me today is a day of pain not only for the events in 2011, but also the events of the same day in 1857 when the Mountain Meadows massacre was committed.

This date should be imprinted on the soul of every active Mormon member, not for the above mentioned event, but for a massacre perpetuated by our ancestors. This day should be remembered every year for so many reasons, but one of the most important reasons is that to be a member of the LDS church... to embrace the gospel and church history as a strong part of our faith and our testimonies... the stories that we tell ourselves about our faith that are positive, strengthening and heroic.... we cannot be true to ourselves as a religious community if we push our failures under the rug. Take a poll in every ward or branch you attend and you will find the majority of members have heard of the Hauns Mill massacre, but very few have heard of Mountain Meadows. The difference between the two is simple; Hauns Mill was a terrorist act towards members of the LDS faith by outsiders while Mountain Meadows was a terrorist act committed by Mormons towards others. It is one of our community's -and I say 'our' including myself- big embarrassments, an act in itself of terrorism, and an act that no matter how rationalized or justified... is a shame and a sore on the skin of the gospel and the church.

Some people believe that we should not talk of these things and there are many reasonable reasons to not speak. But in our silence, it can cause more difficulty for members and non members alike when they discover this information for themselves and then become part of the festering mass of confusion, anger, shame and betrayal that is found when attempting to reconcile this painful information with their positive experiences with their faith. Some argue that, like reparations for slavery, it is in the past and so it is no longer relevant. For those who say this, may I ask a question?  Look deep into your heart and your memory and think of the sins that you have 'quietly' repented of... or the sins that you have kept to yourself and have hidden from the light... Do you feel that they are now all better?  Do you feel that repentance absolves you of any responsibility to try and fix the harm you have inadvertently caused?  In my mind, repentance is much like a u-turn: when you realize that you are going the wrong way, you repent and turn around.... but that doesn't stop you from having to recover the ground you have traveled. True repentance is a journey, not a magic spell that will apparate you back to where you began when you lost your way. (Although living in the world of Harry Potter would make a few things a tiny bit easier- imagine your few second trip from Maine to Paris for a romantic dinner and then home for work the next day.  :)

While none of us living have primary responsibility for these crimes in the past, I firmly believe that we all have a responsibility to try and continue the process of healing- for the family members, for the ancestors on both sides of the tragedy, and for the continued healing of our present community. I hope that next year, maybe a few more people will remember this date for more than just the attack in New York. I hope that more people will pray and remember Mountain Meadows and that even good, kind and godly people can make a mistake in ignorance, anger and fear. Remember that all of us are capable of horrible things in the grip of many negative emotions such as anger and fear. May we spend the day in remembrance and good works. Today is an important day....

The Hamish Macbeth Mystery Series (in order)

I am a pretty rabid fan of the two mystery series developed by M.C. Beaton aka Marion Chesney aka Marion Gibbons. This series features the unambitious and highly intuitive/observant character called Hamish Macbeth who lives in the small village of Lockduhb . If you haven't ever heard of this series before and you like mysteries, take some time to explore it as it is a fun explore! Here are the books in chronological order for the new reader. Also for fun, these characters have been turned into a TV series with three seasons so you can explore the characters in another format... the books are the best though!




Death of a Gossip (1985)
Death of a Cad (1987)
Death of an Outsider (1988)
Death of a Perfect Wife (1989)
Death of a Hussy (1990)
Death of a Snob (1992 )
Death of a Prankster (1992)
Death of a Glutton (1993) Also published under the title "Death of a Greedy Woman"
Death of a Travelling Man (1993)
Death of a Charming Man (1994)
Death of a Nag (1995)
Death of a Macho Man (1996)
Death of a Dentist (1997)
Death of a Scriptwriter (1998)
Death of an Addict (1999)
A Highland Christmas (1999)
Death of a Dustman (2001)
Death of a Celebrity (2002)
Death of a Village (2003)
Death of a Poison Pen (2004)
Death of a Bore (2005)
Death of a Dreamer (2006)
Death of a Maid (2007)
Death of a Gentle Lady (2008)
Death of a Witch (2009)
Death of a Valentine (2010)
Death of a Chimney Sweep (2011) Also published under the title "Death of a Sweep"
Death of a Kingfisher (2012)
Death of Yesterday (2013)
Death of a Policeman (2014)
Death of a Liar (2015)
Knock, Knock, You’re Dead (2016)
Death of a Nurse (2016)
Death of a Ghost (2017)

If you are exploring this series for the first time, please let me know how you liked it :)




pictures from: http://www.mcbeaton.com/us/author/, http://www.mcbeaton.com/us/books/hamish_macbeth_mysteries/death_of_a_ghost/

The Agatha Raisin Mystery Series (in order)

I am a pretty rabid fan of the two mystery series developed by M.C. Beaton aka Marion Chesney aka Marion Gibbons. This series features the detective and public relation skills of a character called Agatha Raisin who lives in a small village in Carsley. If you haven't ever heard of this series before and you like mysteries, take some time to explore it as it is a fun explore! Here are the books in chronological order for the new reader. Also for fun, these characters have finally been turned into a TV series so you can explore the characters in another format... the books are the best though!



Agatha Raisin and the Quiche of Death (1992)

Agatha Raisin and the Vicious Vet (1993)

Agatha Raisin and the Potted Gardener (1994)

Agatha Raisin and the Walkers of Dembley (1995)

Agatha Raisin and the Murderous Marriage (1996)

Agatha Raisin and the Terrible Tourist (1997)

Agatha Raisin and the Wellspring of Death (1998)

Agatha Raisin and the Wizard of Evesham (1999)

Agatha Raisin and the Witch of Wyckhadden (1999)

Agatha Raisin and the Fairies of Fryfam (2000)

Agatha Raisin and the Love from Hell (2001)

Agatha Raisin and the Day the Floods Came (2002)

Agatha Raisin and the Case of the Curious Curate (2003)

Agatha Raisin and the Haunted House (2003)

Agatha Raisin and the Deadly Dance (2004)

Agatha Raisin and the Perfect Paragon (2005)

Love, Lies and Liquor: An Agatha Raisin mystery (2006)

Kissing Christmas Goodbye: An Agatha Raisin mystery (2007)

Agatha Raisin and a Spoonful of Poison (2008)

Agatha Raisin: There Goes the Bride (2009)

Agatha Raisin and the Busy Body (2010)

Agatha Raisin: As the Pig Turns (October 2011)

Agatha Raisin: Hiss and Hers (2012)

Agatha Raisin: Something Borrowed, Someone Dead (2013)

Agatha Raisin: The Blood of an Englishman (2014)

Agatha Raisin: Dishing the Dirt (2015)

Agatha Raisin: Pushing Up Daisies (2016)

If you are exploring this series for the first time, please let me know how you liked

pictures from: http://www.mcbeaton.com/us/author/, http://www.mcbeaton.com/us/books/agatha_raisin_mysteries/pushing_up_daisies/

Genocide Denial - the Midianites and the Holodomor

I am still trying to decide for myself what the term' genocide' means with all its nuances and difficulties, but I feel pretty secure in saying that I do not believe that there is a lot of middle ground in the definition. If you have a desire/intent to rid yourself of a group of people specifically for something that they 'are' or what they have, it's genocide in my definition- no matter how successful you were at doing so. I take issue with the term 'somehow less genocidal' because genocide = genocide period. Causing the death of people for their politics is just as much a genocide as doing so for the excuses of race or religion. As we have studied this semester, I have found myself going back to things I have read or heard about that dilute the intensity of the word genocide by excusing or diverting the conversation away from the facts. An example is the attempted extermination of the Midianites by the Israelites in antiquity. The Israelite and their prophet Moses were frustrated by growing religious tensions between the two groups of people and that some Israelites were converting or following teachings that came from the Midianites religion. The God of the Israelites told Moses to kill all of the Midianites and the Israelite armies were sent out and conquered their foes returning home with all of enemy's property/ livestock as well as the women and children who survived the battle. Accordingly, when the soldiers returned to Moses with all the bounty, he is angry and tells them to kill everyone but the virgin girls. That was done and the passage ends with ritual purifying.

Some apologists suggest that God – and therefore Moses- only allowed the virgin girls to live because they would have had nothing to do with idol worship and that was why everyone else had to die. Others state that killing and war were necessary evils at the time and this was normal behavior. At least one source suggests that as Midianites are mentioned later in the Bible, this couldn't be a genocide because not all of the Midianites were killed- They were able to fight another war with the Israelites later. However, boy children and infants would also have had nothing to do with idol worship and they were killed and if some people managed to escape death that doesn’t make a genocide 'not a genocide'.... it simply changes the evaluation of its success.

Today the Russian government still denies the existence of the Holodomor in Ukraine in 1932-33. (For a brief description and information see here.) I think the fact that the Russian government and diplomats took the time and opportunity to help shape the language of the “Convention on the Prevention and Punishment of the Crime of Genocide' to exclude a 'targeted group' in their country makes one thing really clear to me... the men who helped craft the definition knew that what they did was genocide and so worked to make sure it wouldn't 'qualify'. I frankly find that heinous. I find the denial and the active participation to bury the crime almost as heinous as the original transgression. I believe this partly because I think that people who deny it because they genuinely do not believe the 'crime' happened and believe it has been made up are people that are so ignorant I can feel sorry for their lack of knowledge and understanding. Having a full knowledge and working to deny something for financial motives or to give yourself more credibility in front of other governments and the international community is pretty challenging for me to understand. I also find it provocative that a signatory of this convention who has basically agreed to try to 'prevent and punish actions of genocide in war and peacetime' ... is actively trying to distract the world from their own culpability and failings in the same areas. So to look at the Holodomor as 'somewhat less genocidal' seems a bit distracting and disingenuous; i.e. it's either a genocide or not. The major reason that seems to be given – that Stalin’s plans killed millions... many of whom were not Ukrainian, seems disingenuous at best because what that statement tells me is that those who say it recognize that it is a genocide.... just a much bigger one that encompassed a large 'class' of people rather than just Ukrainians.. (Lastly, I find a small irony in the fact that Russia has politically accepted the existence of the Armenian Genocide in Turkey and denies this one... they seem to be so alike in my mind that every argument to prove the “Great Catastrophe' proves the Holodomor as well.... deportations, false political accusations, government seizure of property, denial of food shipments and journalists, etc...)

That begs the question then as to whether the Holodomor is a genocide or not? The legal definition of genocide includes acts committed with the intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national ethnical, racial or religious group. Acts include killing or causing serious physical/ mental harm and imposing measures intended to damage the group, prevent re-population and/or forcibly removing youth from the group to integrate them into other populations. When the whole of the Holodomor is looked at in this perspective and broken down, we can see how clearly this 'series of decisions/acts fits into the legal definition. Joseph Stalin created the artificial famine by decreeing impossible quotas on grain/ other food products and tight enforcement of them. When it was obvious that his plan was causing starvation and mass death, he did not change anything about the policy and actively denied food aid offered from other countries. If he didn't know what the consequences were when he started his plan, he certainly had the information to figure it out and stop it as time went by. However, written evidence suggests he knew full well what the consequences would be for the peasants by ordering 'the destruction of the kulaks as a class'. When he was told about what was happening from some of his own men, Stalin was quoted as saying, “Wouldn't it be better for you to leave your post and become a writer so you can concoct more fables!” He created orders to shoot anyone who stole even a small amount of food and reflected that it would be much easier to just deport all the Ukrainians but that wasn't possible. Along with other evidence, it seems clear that the intent to kill and demoralize the Ukrainian population has been proved. The Holodomor included millions of deaths as well as serious mental and physical harm as has been testified to by the survivors in their stories of cannibalism, deaths and oppression. Starvation as well as the inability to disperse themselves to safer areas also curtailed births as family relationships and communities collapsed. The Holodomor fits the definition of genocide without any difficulty. It is regrettable that its existence is still being denied and a source of contention between Russia and the Ukraine. The challenges that both countries are going through now seem to stem from the same problems and ideas that caused this genocide in the first place. Moving forward from a place of contention doesn't seem like a great way to move forward... more like a way to potentially have another serious conflict arise again that has the potential to turn into a genocide. I hope that will change… another genocide would be more than tragic, it would be… I just don’t have the words…

pictures from: http://freethoughtnation.com/moses-and-the-midianites/, http://www.patheos.com/blogs/tinseltalk/2012/01/was-moses-black-urban-daily-proposes-black-actors-for-spielberg-biblical-epic/, http://rt.com/news/holodomor-famine-pirozhenko-ukraine/, http://ocfordarfur.wordpress.com/2008/09/

Dangerous Rhetoric

Yesterday, I found myself in an unusual situation in more ways than one. As I couldn't sleep, I went to the gym before work... way too early in the morning and found myself running on a treadmill in front of four television screens. The irony is of course that I haven't owned a television in over a decade and so experiences with one are few and far between... but four! It's a bit like being offered piles of riches that you don't think you need and are confused as to why others think they are valuable. This opportunity gave me an interesting opportunity for reflection and experimentation.

As most everyone in the first world probably knows by now, an airplane manned by pilots employed by Malaysian Air was shot down and crashed near Grabovo, Ukraine. With 298 people on board flight MH370 - all who perished- the only thing that seemed known immediately was that everyone on the plane died and that the plane was shot down over eastern Ukraine along the border to Russia. So as I jogged on the treadmill, I looked up at the screens and over the next few minutes I realized my opportunity- all four televisions were showing news from four different stations; ABC, FOX, CBS, and NBC. So for a girl who doesn't watch news, I was able over the course of over a hour to watch all of them at once and really compare their coverage of the situation. And even from a lack of experience as a news hound, what I found wasn't really surprising.

On three of the stations, the story seemed to be covered pretty thoroughly, but also with some caveats. As the news was raw, the situation just unfolding and with very little confirmed information. Only the confirmed facts were given definition and were described in definitive terms – all passengers were dead, the flight, where it went down, etc... After that, the language was was more vague... “Investigations are underway, the black box might be, etc... There were pictures... frankly, terrible and devastating photos and descriptions from eyewitnesses that felt so painful and hard to hear. But not a lot of speculation or opinion. And there would be breaks from this tragedy- each station took time to talk about other events such as wildfires, the situation in Israel and Gaza (just as horrible a problem I might say), the indictment of FedEx over shipping medications illegally and gold found in a shipwreck off the coast of South Carolina. And more such as a court overturning another gay marriage ban, the typhoon headed toward China... The world is a big place with much going on in it.

The same could not be said of FOX news. While they seemed to have the same details, it was pretty astonishing to me with how they used them. Small lettering on the bottom of the screen would say the 'facts', but the people talking didn't give any facts without a lot of supposition and even things that were only opinion.... Most of he time they didn't bother to mention any facts that I was learning from the other stations. I felt the anger of the commentators but I was also impressed by how neatly they could draw me in and if I hadn't been able to see the facts from other sources at the same time, I may never had gotten them. The wording that was used was also extreme and violent in its own right. It is no exaggeration to say that every sentence spoken, every word that was said seemed conveyed to expressed three points and only those three points.

1. That this tragedy was caused by the Russians and ordered by Vladimir Putin himself.

2. That President Obama must 'break' Russia and Putin to show the Russians and the rest of the world that we are the mightiest and must be feared and obeyed. That war, violence, 'blood', all have been caused by the evil that is Russia and we the good must vanquish it.

3. If we as America do not do this, we will all die and only terror will win.... with Russia and Putin as its leaders.

All the rhetoric made me think... and with was terrible. Some of the words still burn in my head over twenty four hours later. “Russia has their fingers printed all over this all ways”.... Really? How do we know? (Don't get me wrong, I suspect that in many ways this comment is true about this situation, but...) And then pictures of John F Kennedy and Ronald Reagan would show up on the screen with some of their words in quotes about bringing down Russia, tearing down communism and its evils... and then “The President must, he must... Eye to eye, toe to toe, he must stop them... whatever means are necessary.” “President Obama must show them what happens when Putin sheds the blood of innocents... and perhaps the most ironic quote that sticks in my

mind came from Geraldo Rivera- “I told you yesterday Putin has blood on his hands.” Yup, the same guy that my friends and I used to laugh at in high school who five days a week make the term 'talk show' synonymous with interviewed strippers, skinheads, white supremacists, families who hated each other, etc.... He's now reinvented himself as a political commentator. So I was able to listen to him wax poetic on the evils and wrongs by Putin- many of which must have been exaggerated...something he used to do on his talk show... he was well known for it.

I am no friend of Vladimir Putin. I do not know him and am aware that living in this country I will not have many opportunities. It has been obvious to me for years that as America and Russia are enemies, the media in this country can never really see anything that has to do with Russia unbiasedly. We as a people are still trying to understand their history and their culture without coloring it through the lenses of our biases and prejudice. And we are doing it poorly. This experiment cemented two things into my head. First of all, I have heard to the polls and studies that show that those who get the majority of their information from Fox news are more ignorant of the reality of the world than people who get their news from anywhere else. But it also explained the constant fear and anger I sense in so many of the people I know who are 'die hard' FOX news fans. How can you not be when you sit and listen to so much anger... and so much falsehood or at least unproven accusations that when they are proved false ... will never be redacted. That language is dangerous for all of us- even those of us who do not hear it. We have to live with the pain and anger it causes in others, many of whom we care about. After over an hour yesterday of interaction and attention, I will avoid giving any of my time to that station again. I only wish that so many others could see it for what it is. There is enough hate and anger in the world as it is without manufacturing more.

Yesterday so many died in a plane crash.... in the conflicts in Gaza, in Africa from malaria, in Syria... everywhere. So many people are frightened and sad and unsure what to do in their lives. In fact, some numbers suggest that 1 in five of the dead in Gaza are children- children may sometimes be called little terrors but very few people would call them terrorists worthy of death. Instead of creating anger, fear and division, couldn't we work together to grieve and to fight it, fight the terror and the pain with an equal amount of love and good will as well as the basic law enforcement stuff? I can only hope.....

Term Post #2 : The Irish Potato Famine / Irish Genocide

From time immemorial, rulers have tried to manipulate the past, discipline historians and control collective memory”

The Irish potato famine is generally agreed to have been between the years of 1845-1852 with around one million deaths and the population of Ireland shrinking by at least twenty percent between deaths and loss by emigration; there are some suggestions that almost one million people also emigrated for other countries during this time with most headed to the Americas. The history between England and Ireland for over six centuries has been filled with hostility and the unfortunate circumstance that the good fortunes of one country usually spoke of the bad situation of the other. At the beginning of the famine, Ireland was under the control of England and its parliament and most of its land was controlled by English landlords who didn't live on their land; in fact, for the seven hundred years before the famine, the Irish people had gradually become tenants in their homeland with the English as the major landowners. In 1690, the British government passed penal laws in Ireland that restricted the rights of individuals who practiced the Catholic religion by prohibiting them from holding public office, getting education, owning land, participating in civil activity, and inheritance rights... pretty much the majority of things that helped people and their families rise out of poverty. By 1843, Ireland's demands for the repeal of their union with England- and the strength behind that demand- was seriously disquieting to the British government. Many commissions/ special committees that looked at the situation in Ireland right before the genocide/famine had nothing positive to say about the circumstances on the ground there: “Without exception their findings prophesied disaster,” or as stated by John Mokyr, “population grew unrestrained, continuously exacerbating poverty, thus making the resolution of the problem by a catastrophe ultimately inevitable.”

And so the straw broke in the form of the fungus Phytophthora infestans also known as potato blight. The potato crop had become the food that the majority of the Irish population depended on for their basic subsistence as almost two-thirds of the population depended on farming for their survival. The fungus was quick working as one day the plants would look healthy and then the next… the plants were dead. If the disease to the potato plants had been it, then the outcome might have been very different and this disaster wouldn't be seen as a genocide. What makes this challenge a man made disaster was the politics and economics that surrounded and enlarged it. As the crop failed and people went hungry and began to starve, the political decisions that England made compounded the problem. Part of the blame for the political decisions that were made can be focused on the attitude that the English populace and politicians held towards the Irish population. Between the racial animosity, the religious difficulties and the English perception that the Irish were a more primitive people, the difficulties between both cultures in some ways was inevitable... it was also a common misconception that the Irish poor took a perverse pleasure in degradation and squalor.

The British prime minister at the beginning of the famine, Sir Robert Peel, stated “There is such a tendency to exaggeration and inaccuracy in Irish reports that delay in acting on them is always desirable.” In fact, the skepticism of the British government in believing or understanding the depth of the crisis- whether intentional disbelief or not- would prove fatal to many. Another challenge was that the land owners (who were mostly English) continued to force optimal growth and work out of the Irish creating large amounts of food that were then exported to England. Some figures suggest that several ships left Ireland daily laden with food for England and in some of the worse times of hunger, the exports were protected by military escorts from the hungry populace. By some accounts, enough food was shipped out of Ireland to England during the famine to sufficiently feed around two million people. As far as I can ascertain, this was the first time in history that a country during a famine where food was a dire need for the population didn't stop exports of food as well as allowing imports of food in. When relief was sent by England, it was not only insufficient but was only a fraction of the amount of food shipped out as well as food that was not easily used in the rural areas of Ireland.

There are many things that can be seen today that we can trace the roots back to An Gorta Mor (the Great Hunger). Even with the pressure and the discrimination that was committed in the cause of removing the power of the Catholic religion and to try and force the population into Protestant leanings, the constitution of Ireland which was ratified in 1937 stops short of calling for a national religion, but does acknowledge the leading role of the Roman Catholic Church. Even the language of discussing the famine says a lot about how it is viewed by the speakers- many people call it the Great Irish Potato Famine, while the Irish call it the Great Hunger. The culture itself changed as even the language of choice shifted from Irish to English and some of the customs disappeared- it is the modern Irish and nearby historian who continues to try and pull the past forgotten traditions, folklore, and customs back into the collective consciousness. It was also right before the famine and during it that the agricultural practices were changed from grain to 'pasture farming' which persisted on after the tragedy itself. The diaspora of thousands to America and other lands helped spread some of the Irish culture with its people, but also removed it from its central place- in both the lives of those who left and in the lives of those who stayed behind and managed to survive. Ireland also was unique among European countries at this time and after due to the severe population loss as all other European countries experienced rapid population growth during this time frame and the years after. The seeds of Irish independence were well watered during the famine and within a few years, Ireland was able to gain her independence from England. And today, both countries are still working on an understanding and tolerance of each other and their differences.

During the time of this indirect or direct genocide (depending on which point of view you take), there were many people who spoke out about the famine, the deaths and the devastation. One of the most well known was the speaker and writer, John Mitchell. As one of the first men to recognize and name the famine as a genocide, he was also one of the most outspoken in his hatred of the British government and its policies towards Ireland. When Parliament and those men ruling England became frustrated with the rhetoric of Mitchell and others, they passed a law called the Treason-Felony Act. This law was meant to try and censor the kingdom's critics in Ireland by creating a mechanism for 'legitimate' punishment. A few people were prosecuted under this law, but most were acquitted... John Mitchell was successfully convicted and was sentenced to fourteen years transportation to Bermuda. He managed to escape and made it to the United States where he continued his writing and vocal rhetoric for the complete independence of Ireland. In a tract that he wrote in 1861, he said, “I have called it an artificial famine: that is to say, it was a famine which desolated a rich and fertile island that produced every year abundance and superabundance to sustain all her people and many more. The English, indeed, call the famine a 'dispensation of providence;' and ascribe it entirely to the blight on potatoes. But potatoes failed in like manner all over Europe; yet there was no famine save in Ireland... The Almighty, indeed, sent the potato blight, but the English created the famine.” Strong words indeed – no wonder the English government tried to silence him. Censorship continues to this day as both Irish scholars and others portray the famine as a mostly natural disaster and play down any role that the British government had in its beginnings and long lasting effects and mortality.


Thoughts or comments....? :)

Fear and Loathing… for “Four Friends”

So after missing a week of class, I arrived last week feeling shaky and tired but, with a drink and tissues in hand and a computer, pen and paper in front of me, I settled down ready for another provocative evening of film and thought. I cannot say that isn't what I got.... ;)

I cannot say that I liked the film “Four Friends” and I dearly wish that I could. At least I wish I could say something definitive about it.... whether I hated it or loved it or something. Instead I feel this mass of emotions that hours later I cannot seem to dispel. I feel twisted up and almost suffocated by the waves of them that flow over my thoughts and are buffeted by the winds of memory, hopes, dreams, and regret. Hours after I arrived home I found myself awake, restless and sweating... feeling the darkness close in as my eyes stared into the nothingness. Every attempt that I made to clear my mind was insufficient and only seemed to throw the distractions into sharper relief... causing even more agitation and restlessness in my heart. So, here I am, trying to empty the swirl of thought vomit in my brain onto the page in the hopes of some relief, some small amount of weariness to be allowed to enter my brain and slow it down enough for the oblivion of sleep to take over and allow the darkness to pull me into the deep. I was vaguely horrified by my reaction and to stay sitting and not to leave... to not walk out of the film and to go home... well, that was a serious amount of work. I am still not sure how I accomplished it.

Within the first few seconds of watching Georgia almost literally waltzed onto the screen, I felt feelings of deep loathing and disgust. She appeared to be a character/ person with traits that I dislike intensely. I felt she had self-confidence bordered on arrogance and an immaturity that frustrated me. I saw her as vain, overly flirtatious, manipulative and even a little benign. And as I watched I was torn between my feelings of dislike and a growing amount of dismay as I started to realize that I didn't like her not only for the 'legitimate' reasons, but I think I also didn't like her because I saw some 'parts' of her that I felt were mirror images of some of the things that I hate in myself. And so, as I sat there loathing her, I realized how much I really loath myself. How I want to be pretty and I'm not. How I want to be liked and to be wanted by the people that really matter to me... and I am not. And how I would love to be able to enjoy things more... and I can't. And I could see her confusion and her hopes and her dreams written all over every aspect of her being... and I could feel my confusion in my youth. I could feel the dreams that I had to be loved and to have a wonderful normal family and to be me... to be cared for as myself even though I am eccentric and I have too much energy and I speak without thinking and I also think a bit too much of myself. I worry about whether I am accomplishing enough and what other people think and all sorts of stuff! So watching Georgia and her behavior was a bit like watching a distorted image of myself and things I wished I was brave to do or feel comfortable doing... and feeling jealous. And feeling angry because I want so much and I can't have it whether I'm good or bad or anything. It's like nothing I do that's right and nice gives me anything positive at all... except the comfort I feel from doing it. And then I feel scared because I think that I am running from life too and I'm not sure that I feel like I want to find it but I don’t want to feel like I've wasted it either. In essence, Georgia is a spitfire... and I am conflicted about them.

Danilo was a very interesting mix of a person and I found myself drawn to him even as I was repulsed by Georgia. I thought I could feel his fear of her and any relationship with her but also his extreme hope and love towards the America that he saw and wanted to exist. He wants a better life than his father has and is frustrated that his father seems so unhappy and doesn't want to better things. As he says, “There is college...” and his father states, “Not for you. In America we work.” His father also says “I'm tired and I have to go to work – that is America.” I heard that line and I can't even express how often I have felt that way. I think I have just thought the ending slightly differently... In my mind, I think “I'm tired and I have to go to work – what else can I do. I'm an adult and I must eat or die.” This is a very different viewpoint than the romantic and fairly extreme viewpoint that Danilo carries in his heart. Danilo is also a bit too honest and speaks his mind and his heart to his detriment. His mouth is both a blessing and a curse as it brings him happiness and a lot of pain. His every word holds so much meaning – when he looked at his father and said ' Dada” … you could hear the hope and joy and 'feel' what that meant to him. That one word became a complex tapestry of images and emotion as we look at his young face.

His friend David was an interesting mix as well. He is overweight and seems to understand life a little more - “between chromosomes and tradition, what else can I do.” He is easy... easy going, easy to lead, easy to love, easy to leave.... easy to forget. And he seems to know this about himself. So he is quick to laugh and think good thoughts of others and worry... sometimes too much... most of the time not much. And Tom.... well, I didn't feel anything much about him at all. I do not feel like until the end of the film he fleshed out much as a character at all. He didn't seem like anything more than a colored shell until he came back from fighting in Vietnam. The funny thing is that I do not feel like he changed that much... but he did in the sense that he seemed more grounded and his character felt more real. I am not sure that I ever really liked him... but I didn't dislike him either. He just seemed like a decent boring guy by the end... isn't that how most of us turn out as adults. :)

And so the movie finally ended. I could still hear the scream of the saddened and distraught mother... who is no longer a mother... and the wife... who is no longer a wife... just a woman. “I don't really know what to do with that word.” Sadly, I am almost in the same situation and I do not know what to do either. I can still feel her loss and her grief and confusion and I can claim those emotions as my own. I hope that someday I will not understand her grief as well as I do now. And I hope I am not offensive if I admit that I never, ever want to watch this movie again. I want to let the images and emotions fade so that I can continue to heal from my past. I want to forget.

My Thoughts on our Military Entering Syria....

One of the classes that I am currently taking is called Human Rights Violation: Torture, Trauma and its Effects on Society. I took this class because I thought it might be really interesting to really learn about how challenging and how people are affected by this treatment or affected by and/or deal with witnessing it, etc... In my first reading this week, I found that two sentences really stuck out and I found myself reading the paragraph that they were 'embedded' in and ask your thoughts on them.

The first sentence is: “The US Declaration of Independence state that “all men are created with certain inalienable rights” and makes the case that a people can reject the authority of a government that violates those rights....”

The second phrase is: “Thus, a major focus of human rights law is not only to describe rights that are legally protected but also to prohibit actions by governments that violate such rights...”

So I was hoping for your thoughts on them. When I read these two sentences, the thoughts that came to mind were actually on Syria. I was against the Iraq War and going into Afghanistan, but I have shocked a few of my friends when my pacifist non-violent self admits that I feel we should go into Syria and help. I know that my opinion on both equations is the opposite of what statistics showed of public opinion in 2011 and today. Yet when I was reading these two lines, I realized that these are my thoughts on the issue stated more clearly than I knew how to express. In Iraq and Afghanistan, the need for military intervention was not clear and diplomacy and sanctions and other methods probably would

have brought these countries more in line with human rights and would have improved the lives of those living there. As those governments were only breaking these rights mainly legally (according to their laws), I don't feel like we were likely to change them... and it doesn't really appear that we have made any changes except for who is running the country. In many ways I believe we have left these countries worse off and more likely to have severe human rights abuses without recourse. The people of Syria have been trying to get more rights for over two years now and have been fighting their government with everything as they have 'rejected the authority of a government that violates' their rights. We have 'in theory' been trying diplomacy for two years as well without success. The Syrian government has now used a weapon that single-handed killed over a thousand people- many of whom couldn't have really been fighters or a threat to the government – I'm thinking of the children. So if we as a nation believe in the later quote above, should we not attempt more wholeheartedly to stop these prohibited actions...?

I guess I wonder what is our place in human rights and our responsibility.... my responsibility, my community's responsibility, my federal government's... and the world's. Some of these questions seem so easy to answer unless I think about them long enough. So what do you think your responsibility is towards Syria... or even in your own communities?

Discussions with a BLS student... February 2013

I wanted to share a ‘conversation’ I had via email this week. As many of you know, I teach BLS (basic life support) in my spare time and one of the benefits I offer my students is that they can contact me by email or phone to ask questions and voice concerns over the time frame that their card is current…so for some students that gives them two years. It doesn’t cost them any more money- it’s just one of the perks that I offer with the class. To be blunt, I rarely hear back from students. Many people take the class for work and are not too stressed as long as they are certified and many just kind of forget as they leave class and go back to their daily business. Every few months, someone will send a letter praising my skills to the hospital and I have also gotten almost universally good evaluations. (I get a ‘bad’ one every few years from one of the local public school English teachers. I was really upset the first time when the evaluation said I was ‘tangentially morbid’, but as he keeps putting it, I have learned to shrug and move on and even laugh about it. The first time he wrote it, I had to look the word up as I had no idea what it meant…which I suspect was also part of his comment. :) However, two weeks ago, I taught a CPR/First Aid class and within three days of the class, my student not only had to use some of the skills I tried to impress on him during the class, but he voiced some really legitimate concerns that I think many of us have in challenging situations. So I thought I would post the ‘conversation.’ I sometimes find trying to address some of my student’s legitimate concerns difficult because I do not feel like I am really a good writer or have an excellent grasp of how to use language to convey feelings and emotions very well. I hope that I did all right…


February 16th, 2013

Hi Sonia,
Your letter confirming training arrived. This afternoon my neighbor called, his wife had fallen, she could not get up and he could not pick her up. He asked if I could come over and help. I've known them for many years, they are both in their late 80's. I went right over. She was on the kitchen floor, her eyes were clear and focused, she said that she did not hurt anyplace only that she did not have the strength to get up. She'd had a brain tumor a couple of years ago and her balance has not been good since, he'd had a heart attack and is no condition to lift more than 5 lbs. I talked with her a while to assess the situation, she seemed to be herself, absolutely clear and lucid. Brought a chair over so that she could steady herself as I picked her up and would not have to move her too far. When she rolled up onto her knees to move I could see the other side of her face there was a large ugly purple spot the size of your palm. She said that she had been to the dermatologist earlier this week and that he had removed a spot, it had not just happened. I put my arms under hers, used my legs to pick her up and she sat down quite easily in the chair.It was tea time, a chance to talk and see how they are doing. The other night she had fallen out of bed and could not get up, they called 911, the ambulance service helped her get back into bed. What they should do is get into an assisted living center - soon, for now they are so entrenched in their home they do not want to go through moving. Getting old is hard. Thank you for the training and the letter,

DP


February 17th , 2013

Wow! That was very quick..... I had a dead phone yesterday so I needed to wait until today but it sounds like you were very helpful and you did the right thing. It doesn't sound like I would have recommended anything different and that was really great of you to help! Did you have any concerns? Did you feel basically prepared and only a little nervous? Is there anything else you wish for me to cover with you....? Anyway, good job and I loved hearing about that!

Sonia G


February 19th, 2013

Hi Sonia,
"Did you have any concerns?" – YES!
Should I being doing this? What If? and still have concerns. The rest of that day and the next day it was still was very much on my mind. More than just this incident - their ability to take care of themselves and that further incidents could cause them pain & suffering. In class the other night you were crystal clear that confidentiality and respect to privacy is paramount. The day after helping them I met a mutual friend and close neighbor in town. I questioned myself as to whether I should say anything or not, I did tell this neighbor about what had happened. It concerns me that I did right or wrong informing this individual about what had happened. As a neighborhood group we have all been very close over the years and helped to take care and watch out for each other through illness and death. Thank you,

DP


February 21st , 2013

So let's chat about that. You are correct- confidentiality and privacy are very, very important. However, there is a loophole in that idea that I didn't really stress so let's go over it. The reason that privacy and confidentiality is so important is that we want people to trust us to give us the information we need to help. However, that information must be given away to others in certain cases. If the patient may cause harm to others, then absolutely we must share the information. If someone is threatening harm to themselves then we must also share that information. We must share it for a few simple reasons, but I think the most important reason is that we cannot allow harm to happen to ourselves... otherwise we become useless to help others. If we keep a secret that later causes us to feel guilt, shame and fear... that causes us to not want to help others anymore... that very much causes harm to ourselves and isn't ok either. So there are legitimate reasons for breaking confidentiality. The situation that you are describing appears to be one of them. If the young lady is likely to continue to fall and to be more likely to get hurt, it is important (if possible) to try with their help to make a plan or come up with ideas to try and develop ways to make the falling less likely. For instance, questioning what the patient feels has caused the last few falls will help a lot. (Does she get dizzy when standing up from sitting, house full of trip hazards, anything situational that consistently puts her at risk?). What then can potentially be changed to help the patient be less likely to fall… You mentioned that her husband can't pick her up if she falls because of his back... Any other family or close friends nearby? One thing that some families and communities have done is to create an informal group for older people in need (this situation is a perfect reason for one). So a small group of like minded, motivated people could talk together and create a plan for helping this family to stay in their home... It sounds like they have no wish to go into assisted living from what you said... So the people in the group would all know each other and have easy contact information for each other. Each person would 'agree' to take a bit of responsibility over the family for a certain amount of time (morning, day, etc...). So they would be available to check on them, visit and help if needed. Once a week or so the group meets either in person or by phone for a few minutes to chat about each person's experiences that week, concerns and any good changes that need to be made- it is awesome if the meetings include the people who need the help. It helps for them to be able to give input on what's working, what's not and what they think they need. Also, a group can share lots of confidential things and when they stay in the group, it’s all good. Does that make sense? Helping your community, the people in it and feeling confident and able to do so is truly the goal... at least for me. I really appreciate your writing and sharing your concerns with me and I hope you will feel more comfortable over time.

To your question of should I be doing this...? Well, that is really up to you. We all have strengths and weaknesses and things that are easy or difficult for each of us. I do not know you very well, but I think I know a few things from our brief time. You are responsible and motivated (you decided you wanted the class, signed up, and even with rescheduling showed up for it. You came with payment, paid attention and asked questions.). You know yourself pretty well (you admitted even when asked a few times that you really probably would never use the book. You felt comfortable being honest about it and didn't feel any concern or need to fib so that I would give you a book and you would toss it later. ). The fact that you feel concerned about these friends/neighbors, etc. suggests you have empathy towards others and concern for their well being and are willing to give of yourself. Some people perform first aid because it makes them feel good about themselves- because they can tell others how wonderful they are and what wonderful things they have done. Your concerns do not appear to be about yourself. You seem concerned with making sure you do the right things and really helping. So it is my thought that you should keep doing this if you feel comfortable enough to try. The more you do it, the more experience will help teach you important things. And over time, many things in your assessment of situations and people will become so easy and just a part of what you do that you will be able to spend more time giving and helping instead of worrying about whether you are remembering everything, etc... Those are just my thoughts though. Please do not think that I am telling you what you must do, etc... I hope I helped answer that question.

What else can I help with? Did this help at all?

Sonia G


February 23rd, 2013

Hi Sonia,
Thank you very much for your thoughtful response to my concerns. It is truly helpful to be able to communicate and receive feedback from someone who understands the causes and roots of concerns such as I had.

Just got off the phone talking with the neighbor who we're concerned about, today they're doing fine. Tomorrow, will go to see them and perhaps have a cup of tea. Over the next few days will talk with a couple of the other neighbors and see if we can come up with a schedule

The days are getting longer ~ Happy photosynthesis!

DP


I really love knowing that everyone in a while, I have a student who has really listened and not just with their head…but with their heart and soul too. They have heard things that I wasn’t even sure that I managed to get out…how do you teach people to have empathy towards others if they do not already have it? I won’t pretend that is a skill I have. Whenever I prepare for a class, I always ask for the spirit to be with me while I am teaching so that the important parts of my message can be discerned and not lost in my 'hyper-whirlwind' that I call me. I am so grateful for these skills and I am so glad that they can help others and give me satisfaction and joy too! Can’t wait for my next class!

The Year of the Cat :)

To the reader: One picture is slightly adult and immodest in content. This is your warning. :)

Exactly one year ago, I received a phone call at 6:30 in the morning from a young women in Ellsworth named Jane. Her call was the culmination of six months of advice and was to change my life a little bit more than I expected... because she brought Morianna into my life.

When I lived in Vegas, I used to do a lot of volunteer work for a an animal shelter called the Ark. It was a pretty large shelter and dealt with the majority of strays that were caught in the city limits. I thoroughly enjoyed some of the new skills that I learns and I was soon one of the leaders in training stray cat to become 'smooshable' - a skill that is needed for many people to choose them for a pet. It was a fun place to volunteer, where I saw some awful and sad things, but I also gained great friends, some of the most wonderful companions that I was to know over the last decade or so, and some neat skills that I figured I wouldn't use again after moving to Maine. (I also gained some wonderful rabbits for my grandfather and a few fun hamsters as well.) A few years ago when I had some spare time and my life was beginning its horrible upheaval, the 'local' shelter in Maine started a thrift store in Blue Hill to raise money and I happily joined its volunteer staff. I tagged items, sold them, and tried to help move items quickly to get as much money as I could thinking of the animals that would benefit by my service since the shelter itself was so far away. At one point a woman waked in and told me about some stray cats that lived behind the Riverside cafe and expressed her concern about their future lives and what could be done. I gave her advice on how to catch them- the slow but almost always successful way- and agreed to pick them up and get them to the shelter after she had been successful.

Six months later, I received a call saying she would try the next day and success! She caught a very terrified gray Persian covered with mattes... and eyes the six of dinner plates (maybe about six months old). Twelve hours later, I picked up my trap full with two slightly younger cats of clear mixed heritage... the spitting image of each other in markings though not color. I happily called the local shelter (also called the Ark) and was very distressed to learn a few hard facts. One is that while the Ark in Cherryfield, Maine is a shelter, they are very selective in the animals that they select- only animals that are healthy and appear easily adoptable as accepted with a donation. As I looked through the resources that I had I found that there is no really good funded organization for strays in this state and so the cats only options became clear. I dealt with them or they would be put to sleep. So I realized that all the cats that so many of us as volunteers and as shoppers thought we were supporting were not the lonely hurt strays we imagined. I still love the idea of the Ark and while think it serves a very useful purpose, I think that my energy needs to be more towards the smaller, less known, and less funded organizations that actually help the most needy and vulnerable... the feral population.

That didn't change my current situation however. I now had three stray cats in various stages of ill health and not even a real roof over my head. I needed to deal with the difficulties of introducing Brock to them slowly and trying to find them homes. In the end, one year later I still have all three of them and they have been one of the biggest blessings that I have gotten in the last year. The first thing I did was set all three of them up in a large dog crate. Their great fear of me was very apparent and I started in on some of the small things that I used to do to gain trust or at least less fear. I waited for a breakthrough and the breakthroughs can be slow (and usually are.) Stray cats that are older than a few weeks have usually had a few really bad experiences, bad nutrition as well as difficulties in their gestation and early weeks. All of these difficulties can cause brain damage, birth defects, disease, etc...

One of the youngest cracked in two days. She is a beautiful black and white female and around 1am she began to wail. Her fear, sorrow and confusion were very evident and I jumped out of bed and fought past the other two cats to clutch her in my hand. With the recklessness of past experience and the joy of the blessing, I held her softly against my bare skin (yes, I don't wear much to sleep) and crooned a hymn with some clicking and slow notes. For an hour I prayed and held her singing and talking softly and soon I was able to hold her and get dressed without a

great deal of fear from her. By morning, I could sit against the wall, warm and well dressed with a still slightly scared animal, but one who was open to learning about me. She became Morianna, my great companion, who would jump onto the bed for a few pats and would happily act kitteny one minute and feral the next. Over the last year, I have discovered a few things. Her health, while sound has been severely affected. She will never be a full size cat and may always be trapped in a 'teenage' body... slightly small and thin. She is not the sharpest cookie that I have ever had and her enthusiasm for fun and adventure can cause her great trouble as she makes the same mistakes over and over again, not learning the lesson the first time.... or the tenth time. :) Her relationship with Maximilian Robespierre

(my gerbil) has grown over time as he has consistently lured her over to the cage and then bitten her. Over time, Robespierre has gotten tired of biting her (or maybe he feels sorry for her or understands her mental limitations) because he now longer bites her and so he will stand up on his hind feet and throw shavings at her or use his hind feet to kick them in her face. Over the year, she has finally learned to sit close... but not too close! Her fear is almost gone... not quite gone, but has disappeared for the most part. But a few days ago, I walked into the kitchen and she did something that no cat that have ever been feral has done to me before....

Just awesome! She is not the smoochiest cat I have ever had, but the blessings she has given me have become more obvious over time. Caring for her and her 'siblings' has allowed me to use my underused skills and has given me some feelings of success in the rest of the failure in my life. When things have become too much, knowing that these guys depended on me for their very lives would push and motivate me to continue forward. When I get off of work, I am excited to come home and say hello to every one. Her brothers are moving forward much more slowly. The gray Persian I have named Smoke for his ability to appear to dissolve into thin air. He has a few problems. Smoke is also trapped in a stunned body and will probably always look like a teenager. He is thin but with his thick hair, he hides it well... He has problems with digestion, but boy, his reflexes are awesome. Give him a few empty studs with no walls and he can get up, jump, and climb up them in 3 seconds tops.

Egg (or Enigma) is blessed with the perfect kitty size. He is the right adult size now and holds his weight well. The only obvious problem that he has is his eyesight. It is poor and his eyes are a bit infected.... not much I can do about it as I can't hold him down three times a day to put ointment in them. All three look forward to my return every day and have even started to play with my hands or feet when I am supine and haven't moved for a while. I am hopeful in the next few years I will have three great companions. They are truly the blessing I didn't expect at the time. :)

What blessings have you gotten in the form of trouble or difficulty? Anything as 'purry' as mine...? :D

2012 Poetry Corner # 9 : 'Beauty in Time'

The Beauty of Time

How do you see the darkness disappear?
Have you watched the dawn return?
I watch the darkness start to fade
and the light slowly seep in...
One long blink and the sky is awash
with color and brightness and clarity
For a new day has begun.

How does the darkness engulf the day?
Have you watched the night close in?
As the sun appears to move away
and the darkness rumbles in...
For a long moment the light will struggle
Soon, its gone
For the night has returned.

Time moves on, slowly yet sure
Until the moment that we change
Enjoy the beauty, breathe in the joy
For you never know when it will be gone.

Brief Views on the History of the Black Death

The start of the spread of the Black Death actually has a rather ignoble beginning. A group of Christian Italian merchants who had been expelled from their native city of Tarna had come to stay in the Muslim trading posts of Caffa. These two groups had a bit of religious difficulty with each other and soon a small skirmish turned into a full-on war. It was one year into the siege in which the Muslims (with help from the local Mongol army) were attempting to out-root the Christians from Caffa that the plague arrived- it killed so many in the Mongol army that they were forced to stop fighting. However, the Mongol prince came up with a successful plan... and it was at this time that the remaining troops loaded their catapults with the dead bodies of his soldiers that had died of the plague and were then thrown into the city walls. The rotting corpses tainted the air and poisoned the water causing death in the city. A few of the still able individuals with resources were able to gather in their boats and attempt to sail away to safety... taking local rats accidentally on board with them. These rats carried fleas infested with the plague and soon the sailors were dying as they traveled. No port would allow the boat to dock when it was seen the boats were filled with the dead and dying... and when they reached in Mecina in Sicily, they barely stopped long enough before they were sent out again. It was in this brief respite however that there was time for several rats to get ashore. This very brief encounter is what was thought to have brought the Black Death from the East to Europe. We now know that the Bobak marmot is the creature that has always brought the plague to people.... by coughing on fleas... which spread it to rats... which spread it to us. All the great human plagues can be traced back to this animal in Mongolia who are particularly susceptible to this illness.


Europe was in a rather bad position for a contagious disease to arrive on its shores. By the time that the plague arrived in Europe, overpopulation was the norm. The long wars that had weakened the people and their lands were not completely ended in 1348, famines and harvest failures had left people hungry and undernourished, and it goes without saying that the instability probably caused great amounts of stress and fear that lingered on in the people even in times of peace. Overpopulation, especially in cities, made it easier for the plague to spread as people interacted with each other and then more people, as the filth and sewage of the cities that was not properly treated and left everywhere which left the people at more risk... as the poor used the clothing and possessions of the dead and the dying. As people became more fearful and terrified, the rich would gather possessions if they could and would flee away from the towns with the plague... but of course they would travel with it in their possession continuing the movement and the spread... accidentally bringing more and more people and communities into the path of the plague. One of the other quick ways that the plague travels to new victims was by ships and usually within days of a ship docking the plague was found everywhere nearby. One a sad note as well, the Catholic church had labeled cats as animals who belonged only to witches or where familiars of Satan... so the cat population, which could have helped control the rat population, was extremely low in Europe at his time.


There are actually two types of plague and they are spread through the human population in slightly different ways. The two types of plague are respiratory/pneumonic and bubonic plague... neither of which were very enviable. Bubonic plague was characterized by boils and blisters as well as fever that would appear which would weaken the person and the blisters/boils would grow larger and more painful until by around the fourth day, the person usually died. Very few that came down with the plague would live to tell about it later so we have very few firsthand autobiographies- the few we do are hard and difficult to read. Pneumonic plague is characterized by high, consistent fevers and respiratory difficulty, bleeding and breakdown. Pneumonic plague is much deadlier than its sister bubonic plague.... as well as much easier to transmit to other victims. The disease was spread by the infected fleas which would then bite a human host. Pneumonic plague could also be spread through the expelled air of an infected person.


It would be remiss at this point to suggest that the only terror of this time was the plague. The group that became known as the flagellants certainly can be accused of making things worse for the majority of the people. The flagellants were a group of religious extremists who believed that by causing harm and self abuse to their bodies, they could stop the plague by this form of 'penance' and would purge the society around them of sin. The Pope at first encouraged these 'sects', but these groups soon condemned the Pope for the failure of the plague to cease... and the Pope realized that this group was a risk to public order and his position. The Pope would then write to all the leaders in Europe to ask them to deal with the flagellant sects. Fairly quickly, most of the flagellants would be suppressed and wiped out in the several kingdoms which did effectively wipe out the majority of the sect members across Europe. At one point, the flagellants accused the Jewish populations of poisoning the wells and causing the plague causing several pogroms and massacres of these minority populations. So these sects didn't tend to cause anything but harm.... the fear and terror, as well as social unrest and massacres that they caused in many ways could have helped spread the plague as people ran from the unrest to other areas or brought the sick more closely together to protect themselves from the more immediate threat.


One impact that the Black Death had on the medieval societies was how people reacted to the church and to how God was seen. The Black Plague had a huge impact on the Catholic church. The difficulties caused by the flagellants was a black mark on the church that was difficult for the organization to shake... especially as the flagellants started to use the Church as a scapegoat for the death and the plague. Far more difficult to shake however, was the new attitude that the survivors tended to keep- that the established church was not necessarily absolute in power. People still strongly believed in God and their beliefs had even been strengthened due to the suffering causes by the plague. But all hierarchy- whether church based or politically based- was seen with a look of skepticism that had never been fostered before in the minds of the common man. People started to question the church as well as the general order of the world and tradition. It changed the relationship between the surviving poor and the surviving rich as the shortage of labor would give peasants more bargaining power. Europe was no longer overpopulated.... and it would take well over one hundred years for Europe to truly recover from the devastation of the Black Death.