I Can Not Celebrate Death.

I have felt a little conflicted over the 'good' news of the death of Osama Bin Laden a few days ago. News reports and videos show people celebrating and in a general state of happiness as well as the usual comments that 'he is in hell', etc... I will admit that my first emotion was simply sorrow and relief. I get the impression that these emotions are quite unusual in this circumstance. Yes, I was relieved that he can no longer do a lot of damage or some of the horrible things that he has done. But I was sad for a few reasons. First of all, I find it fairly hard to celebrate any death... In fact, is there ever any reason to celebrate death? Everyone of us is Heavenly Father's child and while we may not always agree with them or even intensely dislike what they do, they are still a child of the Father. The Father grieves for our actions and this man's actions just as we do. I guess I also see his death not as a just punishment for his actions, but as an 'easy way out' and a mistake.... for now he is a martyr. I am not a history expert, but I have certainly gotten the impression that making martyrs of people rarely hurts the individual's cause. As a Mormon, I am reminded quite often in church about the martyrdom of the prophet Joseph Smith and through readings it has become evident that his killers were attempting to end the existence of the 'Mormon' church... well, that didn't really work, did it? And Osama's death certainly seems like a good recruiting tool for his organization. Whereas putting him in prison would have stopped some of his work and brought him back in the eyes of many to the stature of a human being... which in the end is what he is. He is not a monster or a demon... he is a child of God.

I also feel for his family and his friends who are now grieving. Grief is grief, and for those who died on September 11, 2001 their families still grieve and many are consoled that their relatives were wonderful people. The friends and family of Bin Laden probably feel some conflict in their feelings. No matter how we feel about Osama Bin Laden actions, beliefs, etc... he truly lived his beliefs. How many of us truly live our beliefs... even when they are unpopular? In the end, his actions have caused the death of thousands... many who are not named when we look at the wars that have begun. And we have vowed to hunt him down and have done so and taken away his life. I guess I cannot help but think of the line that we tell our children when someone hurts them.

'Two wrongs don't make a right'

It seems too bad that we do not always follow our own advice. I truly hope that his death brings some peace and closure to other people, but I cannot feel joy or exhilaration at this event. It feels like a symptom of society's collective anger and not justice. It is simply another sad piece of the human tapestry that we weave.

Pioneer Day - July 24

On July 24th, Mormons celebrate Pioneer Day. It is an important holiday for my church as well celebrate and remember the sacrifices of the people who came before us. Those thousands of individuals and families who left their homes- whether from persecution in Missouri, Illinois, or their homes in other countries to join the saints in Salt Lake- with a dream and a purpose: to live and worship freely and without fear. (sounds a little like the beginning of the history of the United States, doesn't it?)

I was born into a Mormon family, grew up as a Mormon and pretty much always able to be surrounded by Mormons until I got married and moved to the East Coast. On the West Coast, Mormons celebrate by wearing lots of clothing and parading around in the heat and when the children complain, they are told that the pioneers suffered for days on end the same way and it isn't meant to be 'fun'- we are meant to remember. But what we are meant to remember seems to be foolish in some regards as I grow up. Suffering for a few hours like our ancestors seems to me to not teach us the lesson that is most appropriate. Yes, we learned that they suffered and times were tough. We learned that they were persecuted and treated poorly for what they believed and how they lived.

But these lessons will fade because they are not the most important lesson we should be teaching to ourselves and the next generation. Yes, we will still revere and respect our ancestors and enjoy the stories of them... but life as we age/grow will teach us suffering. We will learn that times now are tough- even if the some of the challenges we face are different. Some of us will learn that our ancestors were not perfect and some even persecuted other innocent people. Some will learn that we still do it in some places where more qualified non-members are not given jobs because they are given to less qualified 'faithful'. (If anyone wonders why there are very few people in Utah that have a neutral opinion of the Mormon church that one example might cue you in.) While the lessons that we should learn and teach our children are the lessons of strength and bravery in the face of the unknown.... the faith to follow your convictions and your heart no matter where it leads you... the confidence in each individuals great worth and the courage to fight and continue in the face of great doubt or even when you realize that you have no choice... but to continue in happiness and faith. That is the lesson that we should be teaching and we need to know for ourselves. It is not an easy or superficial lesson- but it is the most important lesson that we can learn in this life.... and as a Mormon I am grateful to have the ancestry to look back on to remember and ponder these lessons. As a historian and a human, I have thousands of years of collective history to look over and learn from... and almost all roads lead back to these basic lessons.

So many Mormons these days celebrate their pioneer heritage with a few hours of suffering or playacting and the rest of the year with conformity and silence. They do not voice their doubts, fears or concerns about the church or church culture for fear of dishonoring their family and their ancestors (and in turn, their sacrifice.) In my opinion, our ancestor's sacrifice is dishonored by ignoring their example. The lessons that they have given us- sealed by their sweat, toil, tears, songs, and their entire lives and how they lived them... we waste and disregard them by not living up to them. So this special day, this pioneer's day, take a moment to remember the real reason we should celebrate and feel grateful for our heritage. Not that they suffered and died... but that they gave us lessons, examples, and their dreams and hopes to live on in us. Please let us not fail them! Be a modern day pioneer. Do not meekly submit to authority- even to the authority of the church when our ancestors took over a year in travel and struggle and tears to follow their dream and their beliefs and to try and make the world a better place by defying authority. Before you accept doctrines and belief, pray and fast and get revelation that it is right to do so. For I believe, that is what your ancestors would have you do.

PS: I am aware that these thoughts will be offensive to some, but our ancestors defied authority so that they could also practice a form of marriage that is considered unacceptable to many today (including Mormons). Before you decide that you are sure that Heavenly Father hates homosexuals, their families, and their children and they should not have rights because the church tells use that homosexuality is wrong, please pray and do not take that answer solely for granted simply because the church says so. People around the world are dying because they feel unaccepted and Mormons are too. Equal rights is something our ancestors wanted -to be able to live by their beliefs. Joseph Smith said that we respect others beliefs. Please.... this is a matter of life and death. Please think on it... Please.

History of a Song: June - “Each Life That Touches Our Life For Good”

This song was written by Karen L. Davidson and the music was written by A. Laurence Lyon. This song was pretty interesting to research because I discovered that both artists are members of the LDS church. In my random 'picking' of songs, I haven't really hit on that phenomenon. In fact I have started to get the idea that most authors and composers of hymns that are included in the current LDS hymnbook are not actually members or even enthusiasts of the Mormon church.

Karen Lynn Davidson was born in 1943 in the United States. Ms. Davidson received her first two degrees from Brigham Young University and her doctorate from the University of Southern California. Later she did some post-doctoral research and also taught English as a school or two. She is an author as well as a hymnwriter. She has written two hymns including “Each Life...” that are included in the current LDS edition of the English hymnbook. She was one of two editors of the recent publication of Eliza R. Snow: The Complete Poetry (Documents in Latter-day Saint History) which was published in 2009. Karen Davidson was also interviewed by J. Stapley who writes for the LDS blog “By Common Consent”about her work. She is currently working as a co-editor of one of the volumes in the Joseph Smith Papers Project.

A. Laurence Lyon was born in 1934 in Rotterdam, Netherlands. His father was serving as the President of the Netherlands mission of the Mormon church. He became a great piano player and at age 16, he was called as the organist for his LDS congregation. He served a mission in the Netherlands and he also sang at the dedication of the LDS Swiss Temple. A. Lyon got his bachelor's degree at the University of Utah and then later received a doctorate from the Eastman School of Music. He became a very productive composer. He has been active in his participation with the music for several temple dedications. Two of his works are included in the current edition of the LDS hymn book including “Each Life...” and songs in the Children's Songbook (Primary hymn book) including “An Angel Came To Joseph Smith” and “Christmas Bells”.

I must confess that I had never heard this song that I know of until a few weeks ago. I was flipping through the hymnal the other day while listening to a speaker and this song just caught my eye and I couldn't let it go. I came home and listened to it several times over the last few weeks. It seems to grow on me the more I listen to it... Have you heard this song? Do you have any particular thoughts about it? Do you know the authors so you can give us an idea of the inspiration behind their work? I am very interested....!

Is Questioning Bad?

Why do people tend to believe that if you question something, you are inherently bad? Why is questioning bad? Why do we as human being fear curiosity? Is it questioning itself or do people get upset depending on other factors- such as who is doing the questions, what is questions, how it is asked, etc...

When I was growing up, questioning someone was not a learning experience- it was rebellion, pure and simple. In college I was taught that questioning is the source of growth and learning. But every time I question some policy or cultural expectation of the LDS church (notice my word choice – I am not questioning doctrine), I am branded by almost everyone as a foolish befuddled person who has fallen prey to anti-Mormon ideas, apostate visions or just simply too confused to truly understand the church. My testimony and faith are questioned and found lacking with no evidence besides the word “Why”.

To me, the idea of dissent and questioning of faith are inherent to my faith and stem back to the very earliest Mormon faith. If truth be told, would Mormonism exist without the faith and questions of our first latter day prophet Joseph Smith? Almost every revelation he received was based upon asking the Lord for confirmation and answers to questions. In the church today, we are encouraged to ask Heavenly Father for anything understanding that he is never to busy for us and he will answer our prayers. We can receive revelation to help us with specific needs, responsibilities, and questions and to help us strengthen our testimony. D&C 76:5-10 states:

5 For thus saith the Lord— I, the Lord, am merciful and gracious unto those who fear me, and delight to honor those who serve me in righteousness and in truth unto the end.

6 Great shall be their reward and eternal shall be their glory.

7 And to them will I reveal all mysteries, yea, all the hidden mysteries of my kingdom from days of old, and for ages to come, will I make known unto them the good pleasure of my will concerning all things pertaining to my kingdom.

8 Yea, even the wonders of eternity shall they know, and things to come will I show them, even the things of many generations.

9 And their wisdom shall be great, and their understanding reach to heaven; and before them the wisdom of the wise shall perish, and the understanding of the prudent shall come to naught.

10 For by my Spirit will I enlighten them, and by my power will I make known unto them the secrets of my will—yea, even those things which eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor yet entered into the heart of man.

So, if revelation is so important and questioning is a basic part of our religious structure so that we can receive revelation, why do we pounce like feral dogs onto our fellow saints who question? Why do we immediately assume that their questions are meant to cause harm to the church? Why do we fear them? And why are we not more like them? Because to question helps us to learn more about God and life itself....