In winter, sometimes summer friends stay to feast...

I love having chicadees and nuthatches on my feeder all year. It's really just a beautiful thing to witness. It reminds me that I am not alone in my attempts to survive the winter and we will all do our best to get through it together. That's all we can do. <3

Some of these wee birds have become aclimated to me and will let me get a little closer than they probably should. I admit that I discourage it so that they will flee/fly away from my cats if they ever get out.

Soon Christmas will be here and possibly more snow, but I am lucky enough for clear weather often enough to feed the birds.

Be safe and warm if you can friends. Hopefully spring will soon be here. :)

A Short Fim Review- "Marina Abramovic- The Artist is Present"

Here is my unedited initial impression of this artist and her work- I do highly recommend looking at some of her pieces either online, in the documentary or in a museum near you. I found this documentary was a bit difficult for me but was well worth the thoughts and spiritual work it provoked. Her work does contain nudity so be forewarned. :)

This documentary left me feeling raw and so vulnerable… in a place where I needed my prayer and spiritual life to hold me together, to recognize how I rush and rush and rush and even when I sacrifice, it is so little in comparison to some of the acts of others… to recognize my vulnerability and my need that I rarely show to others… and wondering what I would do if I had the opportunity to sit in front of this artist and what mirror image of myself and my feelings I would see and have to recognize.

“It takes such a long time to take you seriously…”

At one point, Ms. Abramovic laughs that she isn’t asked the question… finally… “Why is this art?” I found myself thinking this at the same moment and wondered at how it is different from acting or theatrical performance. I think it might be a sign of how much we do not understand her work or what the difference is between some forms of performance art and how thin the line can sometimes be…. How to walk that line and not break it. This artist recognizes that her body is a legitimate medium and she can use it to make many powerful statements and to reveal the humanity in human nature… for what is “art except for revealing human nature.” The work “The Artist is Present” is quite simply the most creative and thought provoking piece I have ever watched and I find myself terribly disappointed that I have not really seen it except through the lens of a camera and the potential shared experience of the artist and audience third hand… which will never convey the true experience. This particular piece really depended on her stamina, physical and mental strength and courage to complete- as one critic said, “The Artist is Present is so brave… because it can fail.”

“What is beautiful about the MOMA performance… she’s treating actually every human being she is encountered with the same attention and same respect which is pretty shocking…”

“There are many different reasons that people come to sit in front of me… some of them are angry, some of them curious, some of them just want to know what happened… some of them are really open and you feel incredible pain… so many people have so much pain. When they are sitting in front of me it’s not about me anymore because very soon I am just the mirror of their own self”

This is what I felt when I was watching her just sitting and ‘being in space’ for each person in front of her. For a brief moment she felt like my religious advisor… someone I should kneel before and open my heart to… someone with whom I have been taught to be vulnerable and honest with… and as they look into my eyes, they are supposed to hear the spirit whisper the things that I need them to know but cannot or will not find the words to express. And as I looked into her eyes for a brief moment, I felt like this was a small glimpse of what it would be like to see my Heavenly Mother in this world. To sit with an invisible boundary between us and no way to touch or talk but in those moments to recognize each other, to let our hearts and hopes do the talking and our eyes the interacting. To have her acknowledge my presence and to smile… To be that vulnerable is so difficult to behave safely in this world and its thin veneer of kindness and civilized behavior that is so easily cracked… is a brave and challenging thing for each of us to do. It is not something I do easily and to find myself feeling such vulnerability and spiritual need from her work tells me how powerfully it hit me.

There is no doubt in my mind that this is art and compelling work at that. This artist has helped me to open up my viewpoint on art and what it is and what its function might be in my life and the culture around me. I found the nudity so troubling at the beginning- I am so uncomfortable with the human body including my own- yet it felt right and appropriate by the end of the film. In fact, I found myself wanting to discover where her next exhibit is and maybe attend… no matter whether Fox news calls her a “Yugoslavian born provocateur”…. I’m hooked!

pictures from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marina_Abramovi%C4%87,

A Snuggly Friend...

Someone is too cute.....

A Peaceful Evening

Bear is so snuggly tonight... I love lap kitties!

Cupcakes and Thought

Yesterday, I snuck out of work at lunch to buy a cupcake. Not just any cupcake, but a fancy, big, full of gluten cupcake! I forgot that today was the last day for one of my co-workers who is headed off to a new job and I wanted to give her something. And the fact that I am broke and not willing to buy or make desserts for myself but I’m running around on my lunch time to buy a cupcake for someone else was something that I thought was a really interesting choice. So I gave it to her when I got back and a big hug and settled in for an afternoon of patients and testing and business and let my mind wander. And while I was being introspective, I discovered a few things.

The first was that I really work at a pretty cool place. I think I have known that for a bit, but even with its problems – as all places have problems- it’s pretty amazing. It feels a lot like Miller Drug did when Bill Miller still owned it and it was a business that cared about both its customers and employees. After he sold it and retired, everything changed quickly and I am so grateful that I no longer work there- those I know who do really struggle to feel anything positive and turnover is pretty astonishing. With the exception of two co-workers I love them all… and I get the feeling that they like me too. I work with several people of my faith so I feel a kindred spirit that I haven’t had the opportunity to have before… heck, most of them moved from Las Vegas as well. Isn’t that an amazing coincidence. :) I have only been at this job for about five months and while I do see some of the challenges and not every day goes smoothly, I can feel myself relax into a routine that feels quite nice. I spend the day helping patients, working as a team player and being valued for it, and as I learn a new occupation, I am finding myself learning new strengths and helping myself to grow in new ways. This place doesn’t have a great deal of turnover and has a few employees who have left for other jobs and then come back to work here again. (I think that says something pretty good on its own.) I haven’t really worked closely with patients since my emergency medicine days and as I gradually return to similar work, I realize how much I missed working with people and trying to help them improve their health and help through crisis, etc… But I have also found that I just love working with people who seem to love working with me. I’ve always found a handful of people in every place that I have worked that seemed to like and respects me, but not a majority and certainly not in such a way that many people would stick up for me- and feel they were in a safe enough, stable environment to do so. And it was in that thought that I realized that even though I do not know the co worker really well, she has been consistently kind and nice and I didn’t feel comfortable not acknowledging that… even if I could only do it in a small way. That in itself is pretty cool. :)

I think that I also wanted to do it because I think that even in small ways people appreciate knowing that they as people are valued. I don’t tend to feel that very often and while some of that is self esteem and therefore, my fault… a lot of it is the world we live in. All of us do not tend to take the time to show or gratitude to the people around us very consistently. We also tend to not comment on the small things that we quickly notice, appreciate, and then they leave our mind as we continue with our tasks or thoughts. Corrie has smiled every time she has seen me with only one exception- she didn’t smile when I came in with my broken foot for the first time. Granted I wasn’t smiling either ;) Knowing that my interactions with her in the future will probably be quite limited, I knew I only had a short window of time to do something to show her what her attitude and kindness have meant to me. A cupcake was so little, but she seemed to appreciate it and I am glad. I remember all the jobs I have had in the past and even when I was cared for, people pretty much said goodbye and that was it- the one exception was one workplace threw a pizza lunch for me, but forgot about my celiac disease so I couldn’t attend my own going away lunch- that was sad and funny all at the same time. I guess I knew how much it would mean to me and wanted to offer that experience to someone else. And so we parted, hugs all around and I have a phone number and email address in my pocket- more than I expected and was a gift in and of itself.
The last thing that entered my mind was that the fact that I am willing to splurge on other people but not on myself is something that I need to really analyze and look at. That tendency has been pointed out to me in the past by counselors and friends alike, and I have been able to acknowledge the truthfulness of their observation, but haven't felt like I could really change it. I feel a renewed urge to change that and so today, early.... six in the morning... I was at the store to get Brock some pasta and me some brownies Gotta start somewhere! :D

Happy Saturday my friends!

2014 Poetry Corner # 8 - "Be Like a Duck" (a haiku)

Smile, nod, just move on
let go of pain and offense
Focus on the good

Tzedakah... Artwork by Jessica Millis :)

I really wanted to take the time to introduce an amazing piece of art work from a friend of mine. She has entered a contest which allows public voting for the next few days. I am hopeful that you will like her submission and also be willing to vote for her. I have put her image below and it is beautiful! I have also posted her thoughts on her artwork which makes it even more special to me. Please take the time to look at the picture and read her thoughts.....



Please briefly describe your design:
This design incorporates a portrayal of the six days of creation within a contemporary context, expressing the power of compassion, unity and creativity in solving modern problems. The top portion portrays interconnecting human hands cradling the earth and strenghtening each other.
This tzedakah box will be made from ceramic clay, which is symbolically important, as clay comes from the earth. Each of the periods of creation will be painted in colorful glazes. The hands and the globe will be sculpted and cast in clay, forming a handle for the hexagonal lid. It will measure 11 inches tall, and 6 inches wide at the widest point.

How does your design reimagine the future of giving? How will your design spark a national conversation about the obligation to give, where to give, to whom and why?
The days of creation in my design each reflect a different way in which we can contribute to positive change through our daily actions. I believe we must use our own creativity to effect social and environmental change. We might ask ourselves, for example, "How have my actions today impacted the atmosphere, the land, the water, the plants and animals, and other human beings?", We may consider how we can give to others and to the earth. What we perceive to be insignificant acts are in fact intricately connected, affecting others in profound ways we may never fully know. My hope is that we will be inspired to give in a manner that will promote environmental sustainability, prosperity, and self-reliance. For example, donations that give even a relatively small amount of money to a small business or agricultural venture can have enormous positive impacts on individual lives. This is one creative approach to promoting self-sufficiency and environmental consciousness on a local level and in developing nations. It is sometimes by very small and simple means that great change can occur. I believe we need to begin to see more clearly the many ways in which we as human beings are connected both to each other and to our environment. Increased opportunities for travel, and modern technology, especially social media, have contributed to greater general awareness, but there still seems to be a spiritual disconnect. The interconnected hands in my design represent our link to each other and to our planet. It isn't simply about giving money to a cause, but rather about changing our perceptions of others, learning tolerance, patience, and simple kindness. It is about recognizing the impact of our actions. I believe as we go about our daily lives without judging others so harshly, constantly looking for the good in other people, opportunities to help will materialize in ways we may not expect. Some of those opportunities may involve a gift of money, but it may also be as simple as offering encouragement and hope to someone who is suffering. As we give to others, especially to people we may not necessarily like or relate to, we gain compassion and understanding, we become unified, and we begin to heal. The people we have helped may in turn choose to turn around and give to someone else. As this occurs, we can begin to recognize that we are all in this together, and we are not as different as we thought. I guess as a concept this is not complex, yet it seems so elusive to us at times. It just takes practice. As we begin to see “the big picture”, we can be creatively inspired and empowered to contribute to a chain of meaningful change.

So will you go to this site and vote? Her design is under the name Jessmillis. Please! Also leave any comments as I will make sure she gets them! :)