A Short Fim Review- "Marina Abramovic- The Artist is Present"

Here is my unedited initial impression of this artist and her work- I do highly recommend looking at some of her pieces either online, in the documentary or in a museum near you. I found this documentary was a bit difficult for me but was well worth the thoughts and spiritual work it provoked. Her work does contain nudity so be forewarned. :)

This documentary left me feeling raw and so vulnerable… in a place where I needed my prayer and spiritual life to hold me together, to recognize how I rush and rush and rush and even when I sacrifice, it is so little in comparison to some of the acts of others… to recognize my vulnerability and my need that I rarely show to others… and wondering what I would do if I had the opportunity to sit in front of this artist and what mirror image of myself and my feelings I would see and have to recognize.

“It takes such a long time to take you seriously…”

At one point, Ms. Abramovic laughs that she isn’t asked the question… finally… “Why is this art?” I found myself thinking this at the same moment and wondered at how it is different from acting or theatrical performance. I think it might be a sign of how much we do not understand her work or what the difference is between some forms of performance art and how thin the line can sometimes be…. How to walk that line and not break it. This artist recognizes that her body is a legitimate medium and she can use it to make many powerful statements and to reveal the humanity in human nature… for what is “art except for revealing human nature.” The work “The Artist is Present” is quite simply the most creative and thought provoking piece I have ever watched and I find myself terribly disappointed that I have not really seen it except through the lens of a camera and the potential shared experience of the artist and audience third hand… which will never convey the true experience. This particular piece really depended on her stamina, physical and mental strength and courage to complete- as one critic said, “The Artist is Present is so brave… because it can fail.”

“What is beautiful about the MOMA performance… she’s treating actually every human being she is encountered with the same attention and same respect which is pretty shocking…”

“There are many different reasons that people come to sit in front of me… some of them are angry, some of them curious, some of them just want to know what happened… some of them are really open and you feel incredible pain… so many people have so much pain. When they are sitting in front of me it’s not about me anymore because very soon I am just the mirror of their own self”

This is what I felt when I was watching her just sitting and ‘being in space’ for each person in front of her. For a brief moment she felt like my religious advisor… someone I should kneel before and open my heart to… someone with whom I have been taught to be vulnerable and honest with… and as they look into my eyes, they are supposed to hear the spirit whisper the things that I need them to know but cannot or will not find the words to express. And as I looked into her eyes for a brief moment, I felt like this was a small glimpse of what it would be like to see my Heavenly Mother in this world. To sit with an invisible boundary between us and no way to touch or talk but in those moments to recognize each other, to let our hearts and hopes do the talking and our eyes the interacting. To have her acknowledge my presence and to smile… To be that vulnerable is so difficult to behave safely in this world and its thin veneer of kindness and civilized behavior that is so easily cracked… is a brave and challenging thing for each of us to do. It is not something I do easily and to find myself feeling such vulnerability and spiritual need from her work tells me how powerfully it hit me.

There is no doubt in my mind that this is art and compelling work at that. This artist has helped me to open up my viewpoint on art and what it is and what its function might be in my life and the culture around me. I found the nudity so troubling at the beginning- I am so uncomfortable with the human body including my own- yet it felt right and appropriate by the end of the film. In fact, I found myself wanting to discover where her next exhibit is and maybe attend… no matter whether Fox news calls her a “Yugoslavian born provocateur”…. I’m hooked!

pictures from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marina_Abramovi%C4%87,

"Ms. Amerikkka" by Aceyalone : Lyrics and Critique

Today's song is titled “Ms. Amerikkka” and was produced and released by Edwin M Hayes, Jr better known by his stage name Aceyalone. This song is off of his album titled “Love and Hate” and it is extremely hard to find and listen to without purchasing the song or album. Every link to it I can find on the internet with few exceptions has either been removed or banned... censorship much? ; ) The lyrics are challenging as they personify and critique the United States of America... and the critique is devastating. Here is the one link that I could find to share the song and the lyrics are below.



Ms. Amerikkka

all right
yo, this song came about one time when
I- I was- I was on a plane back, going back to Los Angeles
coming from somewhere else
and I sat next to this lady and she was telling me something
I don't remember it verbatim,
but I do remember some of the things she said
it was like this-

Life as we know it is about to change
I smell it within the air
the weather is getting strange
drugged up, sedated and
numb from the pain
the sickness in America has spread to her brain
she is no longer fit to make good decisions
she is completely blind and void of any vision
she parties hard and she keeps her conscious mind imprisoned
therefore she's headed for the ultimate collision
she can no longer hide the scars on her face
the innocence now gone is hard to replace
she has no shame, no remorse or any grace
she embraces the devil and she hates over race
Ms. America, the beautiful the free
fallen within the cracks, I wish that you could see
she buried her misery, within society
it's obvious, you have no regard for me

Chorus:
caught up in the belly of America
lost, in the stomach of America
broken down, in the bowels of America
sinking, in the garbage of America
stuffed, in the brain of America
suffering, in the body of America
lying, in the wicked spirit of America
dying, in the old soul of America

Ms. America, you've been a very bad girl
you nearly disgraced humanity in the eyes of the world
vanity has took you over, you're not deserving
the mirror image of your reflection is quite disturbing
she makes so many promises she couldn't keep
she neglected to mother her young, so they don't sleep
they scream out for justice, and then they weep
when out to blame Ms. America, that's what you reap
the audacity of your inventions to rule us all
the tragedy of your intentions to fool us all
you should have gave into nature and to the law
it's only a matter of time before you fall
the things you should of worked out in your first colony
victim of your own advice and your psychology
you've destroyed all morale and the ecology
I'm sorry, but I don't accept your apology

Chorus

Homeless America, so much attraction
has yet to take ability for her actions
we work around within the system and make adaptations
you can let freedom ring, within your faction
how can people still be hungry, when there's a surplus?
suffering within your home, you've made them worthless
damn near police the state, you make us nervous
even though some conform and join your service
you're presidency's the biggest joke, but we're the laugh
always smell the gun smoke, on your behalf
I think I should send a telegraph to your staff
America you're down and dirty, you need a bath
so tell your secret agents, don't be paranoid
this wasn't taught by Socrates or Sigmund Freud
this is simply gods work, you can't avoid
ever nation ever built has been destroyed

caught up in the belly of America
lost, in the stomach of America
broken down, in the bowels of America
sinking, in the garbage of America
stuffed, in the brain of America
suffering, in the body of America
trying, in the good ol' spirit of America
dying, in the old soul of America


Are you still with me... or did I lose you? I suspect some of my readers will not make it this far. Here are my thoughts on this piece of rap and verbal art.....

One of my first thoughts was shock when I tried to watch the video on Youtube and other sites and got the rejection message "can't be viewed in this county." It is a bit of a strange irony that we (the USA) as a nation chastise and bully other nations into accepting free speech that is critical of the government/ ruling party, but maybe we too as a society (or just the powerful class) also silence are critics when they get too close to the mark.) As I read the lyrics and listened to the words, I could see the images of people in my communities and on television; the lines of families at my local food bank, the homeless shelters filled to capacity, the bitter cold keeping the couches of good friends full as well, the individuals who lack health insurance who struggle on without treatment, those whose mental health is tottering and broken who can not get help until they are incarcerated for long periods of time... and then are forgotten when they are released until they begin to struggle again and are forcibly returned... I saw so much and I felt sadness, hopelessness, exhaustion, and anger.

All of my life I have been told how great this country is. From lessons at church where teachers praise me and others for being the most valiant spirits in our pre-existence to be born at this time and in this country- the country that God the Father fore-ordained to be the place of true Christian gospel restoration. From my parents whose patriotism is strong - sometimes extreme- and would express how lucky I was at every opportunity to be an American. To teachers who taught me how some countries do not let girls go to school and might even be forcibly mutilated or murdered for doing things I took for granted like reading. I grew up believing I lived in the best country in the world and that God willed it to be so; in fact, God actively keeps America the top country in the world. It was only as a young adult that I started to see things and hear things that I struggled to reconcile with these past teachings. Experience has certainly changed and nuanced how I see the United States now - both in a larger sense and in the small communities I try to volunteer in. In these lyrics I heard some of the pain I have felt and witnessed from the humanity around me. The title itself tells two stories to me. It feels a bit arrogant for citizens of the Unites States to be called "Americans" while any other citizen of another country on both American continents are monikered differently. Someone from Canada or Mexico, Chili or Columbia is just as "American" as we are yet each of us if asked what are nationality was would state "American" like each of us is part of the cherry on the top of the sundae. I do it as well, but when I hear myself say it I find I feel a discord in my head and I have wondered if one of the reasons people in other countries stereotype us as arrogant, etc... is our attitude which is reflected in what we call ourselves and how we behave. The second lesson I see is that the title expresses some of the failings of how those in power and how our culture treat minorities. America is not a land for the faint hearted female, the financially poor, nor for individuals of color or disability because, whether by intention or design, society tends to isolate, restrict, stress and even cannibalize them. The title expresses to me the hidden and not so hidden racism in our society and in our hearts and the double edged view of how important women are, but only when they conform to specific gender and cultural roles. After all, the United States is usually portrayed by an old white elderly kind "Uncle Sam"... anyone else can be seen as falling short of this ideal.

The line that really stuck in my head out of the whole song was actually almost the whole third verse because as America is being described as female, she is being lectured on her lack of tradition femininity. For instance, the word disgraced isn't a word usually used for the male gender. She is described as vain, not deserving, a neglecting mother who lets her children cry and scream and weep... and does nothing so her compassion is lacking as well. She is blaming, audacious, and tragic... the destroyer and the victim. I really cannot think of any time I have ever seen or heard "Uncle Sam" described in this way and it feels like this song expresses the true fight of women in this country- our services and talents are accepted and incorporated by the men in our lives yet all failures are prescribed to the females involved while men can whip the flung mud off more quickly and easily. It almost feels like the author of the song who has clearly seen and felt the sting of racism doesn't recognize his own biases and discrimination towards women. I know this sounds a little angry and funnily enough I am not angry as I write this- just a little resigned.

What are your thoughts and feelings on this song?

Open letter to Dr. Glenn Cummings @UMA

I felt inspired to send a letter to the University of Maine president about changing some general education requirements for the student body. Here is a slightly edited version of the letter I sent him last November. I do not hold out a lot of hope that my humble letter will change anything, but I wanted to express myself. I think that everyone who studies some of these tough topics such as genocide walks away a changed person and can feel motivated to make changes in their own behavior and to actively work more towards peace in their families and communities. If this letter helps even one person or convinces someone to study more on these challenging topics, it will have been worthwhile. :)

Glenn Cummings, President
Office of the President
46 University Drive
Augusta, ME 04330


I am writing this letter to express my desire and a suggestion for a uniform change to the general education requirements to all academic degree programs that are facilitated by the University of Maine at Augusta. The change that I am advocating for is an addition of a modern day genocide class to the general requirements for graduation.

One of the important reasons for attending college and for the achievement of getting a degree isn’t just the ability to get a good job and achieve financial success/ security, but is for the ability to become better human beings and individuals in our families and the world around us. It is with this belief in mind that universities and the faculty who design courses and degree programs select many general education requirements for a student to successfully complete if they wish to leave the school as alumni with a degree in their hand and its knowledge in their heads. Among the topics that can be found in all degree programs are mathematics, writing and literary competency, humanities, applied sciences as well as social sciences and more. These ‘core’ classes are justified in degree programs to give studies an education that will help them in all aspects of their lives besides their core focus of study. For instance, students study humanity classes because through the exploration of the topics enclosed inside that label, a student learns to think more critically, to reason and ask questions, and to open their mind to more creative thought processes. In the study of humanities, we learn about other cultures and in doing so, we learn more about our own cultures. When a student studies a foreign language, they learn respect and an understanding of the relationship between language, culture and human nature as well as develop more flexibility in their thinking and behavior towards others. Mathematics is taught so that even students like myself who struggle to understand it and its relevance in their personal lives can recognize that it plays a vital, constant role in many aspects of their life and is a universal part of every human culture known. Science is considered vital because it demonstrates to every individual how the world, the universe, how our bodies work and how we are all connected with all other life. The study of science forces us to question, to not take blanket statements at face value, to require some validation before belief, and to recognize that failure is not an end in itself, but just parts of the journey to success.

All of these requirements are very important and necessary and I do not wish to take anything away from their importance by suggesting an addition. However, I truly believe that the addition of a required genocide class would be an important and innovative change to the general education requirements. Many modern day studies and the work of historians tell us that genocide is usually carefully planned. As long as the majority of individuals in every country believe that the act of genocide is an aberration and cannot believe that human beings for the most part really will not only commit genocide, but implicitly ignore it when it happens around them, the human race will never be able to prevent it. It is only by understanding and recognizing that genocide is truly preventable and will happen even where we live can people not only recognize it in its beginnings but also feel empowered to take action to prevent and if necessary, stop it. The University of Maine- Augusta is optimally place to set the standard and show the state and the country the example it should follow. As home to the Holocaust and Human Rights Center of Maine as well as some faculty who have intensely studied the subject, these institution has a unique and enviable place in this regard.

I recognize that a suggestion from one student may not make a permanent change in the graduation requirements, but I also know that I must try. I also know that I have completed over a dozen history classes and, with the exception of the Holocaust, those classes have skirted passed though uncomfortable parts of our past as well as the world's. While history will help us better understand the past and maybe give us better insight into the future, it cannot if we ignore or do not discuss the worst that we can be. I respectfully ask that the presiding faculty of the University of Maine- Augusta continues its policy of leadership and make the necessary changes to the general education requirements of future UMA Students. Thank you for your time and consideration to my request.

Sincerely,


:)

Genocide in Our Time – Introduction to February’s Topic

Over the last few years, I have found out so much information on the act of genocide and man’s inhumanity to man that I feel pretty well verses in it. This month I am going to focus on some modern day genocides as well as my thoughts on them, actions and ideals that are more likely to lead to violence, ethnic cleansing and genocide as well as a few books and related topics. There are many more genocides that I studied but I will not include writings about because they are pretty graphic and I am not sure a PG -13 blog is the best place for all of it. I do think it’s important to start the conversation and not hide the reality of humanity and what we are capable of… we have genocides happening in our world right now…. This is not an act we have become to civilized to perform.

So this is your introduction to the topics and ideas that will be discussed throughout February. Welcome! : )

1. picture from http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/worldviews/wp/2014/04/02/11-powerful-photos-from-the-aftermath-of-the-rwandan-genocide/

“It's Your Funeral”... and Thoughts on Humanity's Continued Search for Itself

I have never had any interest in westerns and the culture that surrounds them. In fact, I think I have only considered them something that might be worthwhile because my grandfather likes them. So when I discovered this film on the syllabus I didn’t really have much to look forward to. I recognized John Wayne from pictures and posters and country 'accents' that you can buy in stores and that's about it really. So I thought that the majority of my fun with the film happened with my experience of purchasing it. I must admit that I enjoyed my time at Bull Moose with the clerk who took me around the store looking for it. He walked me around while he wore a really crazy hat that flopped around and when any of his co-workers asked what we were doing he always answered with the same phrase, “Us? We're searching for the Searchers.” It was a bit funny :)

So I got it ordered, picked up and sat down to watch it with more than a little feelings of just blah. The first five minutes convinced me that I was in for a few hours of difficulty, maybe not boredom, but not really any interest either. I got a large glass of grapefruit juice and slouched down on the couch to keep watching but also so I could continue to watch the snow coming down outside the window and the sun slowly dissolving into the dark. I then spent two hours watching the saga of Ethan Edwards and his search for his missing niece named Debbie Edwards after she was stolen by a Comanche Indian raid. He traveled back and forth for over five years with a companion named Martin Pawley- an adopted young man who lived with and grew up with Debbie and her family.

“And he sent them to Bethlehem, and said, Go and search diligently for the young child; and when ye have found him, bring me word again, that I may come and worship him also.” - Matthew 2:8

Ethan was a very interesting character. All of his opinions and thoughts bordered on arrogant and... for lack of a better word, macho. His obsession- the only word that makes sense in this case- with looking for his niece was confusing when you looked and comprehended his thinking of what makes family as well as his thoughts and anger towards the “Comanche' – anger that appears to come from past experience and dealings with some individuals from that Indian group. Family, or 'kin', to Ethan is a very simple thing. Blood and blood only makes family. He can't seem to see it any other way. His views on women are very stark as well – if you live with Indians or accept them, then you are damaged and shouldn't live. These stark, unbend-able views make his obsession with finding his niece even more challenging to understand... after all, why search for a girl for years and then wish to kill her when you discover a women who is married to an Indian chief? How can a man compartmentalize his feelings so clearly that he is unable to recognize the inherent clashes his own views will cause?

Martin - “They raised me”
Ethan - “That don't make you kin”

Funnily, enough... that does make you 'kin' in my book. I see family as those who stick by you, who love you, who look out for you and with whom your life would not be complete. I have many family members who share my blood, but I know people who share my blood and who really are not family. I have family in whom no related blood flows, but in all other ways they are my kin and I cannot see them as separate. I grew up with three grandfathers and while a child should never have a favorite, I did and still do to this day. Grandpa Carlile is the grandfather that I think about, I miss, and I know I will feel the loss keenly when he is no longer able to be a part of my earthly life. Sometimes, people remind me that he shares no blood with me- that he is my step-grandfather... but that label isn’t who he is and doesn't change who or what he is to me. If he had been kidnapped and lived in another culture for a while, I wouldn't hesitate to take him back... no matter what. As with all obsessions, Ethan puts everything he's got towards his plan and desire to find and rescue Debbie, but is unable to see the reality of what he wants. When he finds her, she can't live up to his expectations (can any obsession do that?) It takes more experiences and time before he is able to learn not only about how to understand and deal with the reality he faces, but also to actually understand himself. I would wish him happiness with his new understanding of humanity and even family, but as he is really a fictional character.... I will simply try to remember the lessons of the character.

Brad – “They gotta stop sometime. If they're human men at all they gotta stop.....”

Ethan - “No. A human rides a horse until it dies and then he goes on foot. Comanche comes along, gets that horse up... rides him twenty more miles... then eats him.”

Another problem that plagues Ethan is his discrimination and dislike of Native Americans... the Comanche in particular. He is unwilling for a great deal of the film to listen to or recognize Martin as being a human on the same plane as himself (Martin is one quarter Native American). His attitude of dehumanizing the Indians allowed him to see anyone who fit in with them as bad, not worthy of even living... damaged beyond repair. This movie was made over sixty years ago and this is a problem that we all still fight – as individuals and as a society. When someone angers us or does things that we do not approve of, we strip them of all the positive traits that they have... making them almost one dimensional with only negative qualities and stereotypes. This makes it easier for us to justify the poor treatment ans thoughts that we have toward them. It is this way of dehumanizing and 'othering' different people that has caused every genocide in this world. It is how we justify discrimination and violence towards others. And it is how Ethan justifies his attempt to kill Debbie when he finally finds her at the end of his quest. Sometimes I think what we are really looking for is to appease and justify our mistakes – by blaming others or hurting them. It is our search to understand and love ourselves that can be our way to peace... or the path to hatred and scapegoating. Martin Pawley finds himself unable to stop searching for his sister and follows Ethan over the country for years – sacrificing his potential wife Laura as well as good financial prospects- even when it is pointed out to him that is sister isn't his 'kin' because he is adopted. Even when he is told that the Comanche chief Scar murdered his mother, he is unwilling to focus solely on revenge... the life of Debbie is still more important. How many of us sacrifice so much for another person? For someone who many even today would say wasn't even family?

In the end, I sat back on the couch and thought about Ethan and Martin. I thought about how Ethan feels like the side of us that is angry and fearful and courageous and doesn't really think... and Martin is the 'one who follows' and pure love... charity. He feels fear and he feels angry, but he channels it and uses it to try and do what he feels is right for others and not what is necessarily all right for himself. Like the Super- Ego and the Id, parts of the same consciousness fighting to be the dominant partner.... which part of us will win the battles that we chose? Will we approach those who believe or behave differently than us with curiosity and tolerance... or will we allow ourselves to act out our fear and hatred with ourselves and our behavior on others? We are given these choices everyday... sometimes several times a day.... how we act says a lot about us and our character. If nothing else, I learned that the struggle to be tolerant and open is a problem that we have struggled with for centuries and we do not appear to be any closer as a race to understanding. I believe that Heavenly Father gives us more information and knowledge when we are ready for it – both individually and collectively. No wonder so many people think that God has stopped talking to us... we as a race are really slow to learn so how can he give us more information? In the end, Ethan Edwards is right: it is our funeral. And how we chose to get there is our choice most of the time. So what choices are you making? Are you choosing love and tolerance... or are you choosing anger and fear? In what ways are you judging your fellow humans poorly? If you have seen this film, what are your thoughts? I probably won't watch it again... I will actually probably send it to my grandfather who will probably love it. But I am glad that I watched it. :)

Sideswipes of Ideals and the Clash of Life, Experience and Hope: Malcolm X

With the exception of knowing the name- having heard the title many times in my life, I knew almost nothing about Malcolm X. So as I sat in class and the lights were dimmed I was prepared (I thought) for learning and to discover more about the man that I knew so little about- a shame as a historian, but I will admit I am woefully inadequate on almost any topic on American history; that is semi intentional and a long story. I have seen a documentary by Spike Lee before and found it phenomenal. And each film that I have seen in class has provoked so much thought that I wondered what I would gain from this one besides a better understanding of the man's life. Here are my thoughts...

The start of the film with the burning flag was a really potent image. The flag- whether it is a stamp, a name, a picture, iron on art, etc... makes a very specific statement. It is a loaded image that creates a picture no matter who looks at it and in many cases makes a political statement as well. For some, the flag is a symbol of pure nationalism- some love America to the point of blindness and the flag symbolizes this feeling... the feeling of power and strength, the assumption of God's blessing on this, the best country. Even that God fits a profile- white, Christian, silent and unchanging through the years. For others the flag is a symbol of a country that they love and feel loyalty for, but they are also able to recognize that America and its flag can also be seen in very negative ways not only by some of those who are protected by its laws, but by many around the world. The image of the flag is seen for what many see as its true colors... the symbol of oppression towards many in the world... it's citizens, other states...anyone that isn't useful or in line with what 'America' wants. It's hard to attack these ideals and governmental policies, so people attack it's image... and that is the flag. There are many ways to insult or desecrate the flag, but burning appears to be one of the most popular. By total destruction as flames quickly like over the sewn threads and they vanish into smoke that is pulled up towards the sun. So, as I watched this image, I felt the pull of both sides of the argument.... those that I know who cannot see anything but their idealized vision of the world and those who have felt the pain and oppression that is the flip side of nationalism. And there is no middle ground- because individuals will force you be be part of one side or the other. I do not allow myself to use the flag or its images on anything. I do not use it on stamps, hang it on the wall, or even use decorations that use the colors or patterns that suggest or remind. I have been told by people that my dedication to that 'idea' is treasonous and that I am ashamed of my country, but I see a very fine distinction between love of my country and it's ideals... and the reality of what it truly is. What is truly does... and what it has done in the past. So I felt that pain and that anger as I watched the flag... and as it slowly began to burn, I didn't need to hear the world to feel the suffering, the pain and the anger. I could see it grow and build as the flag burned... a flame of heat that might never be extinguished...even though its object has vanished into smoke and ash.

So many times I heard the word 'boy'... and finally I got it. When I was in high school I used to call male classmates 'boys' if I thought they were immature or acting that way. One of them was black and the few times I called him a boy, my kind teacher would pull me aside and tell me I couldn't do that because it was racist. And I would walk away really confused and frustrated. I have never considered myself a racist and I couldn't see how the word boy could be racist... The N word, yes... but boy no. I see it now. More than twenty years later I understand and I am really horrified by my lack of understanding. As a silly white girl, I didn't get it and as an older but still silly white women I know see a glimmer of understanding and I am filled with the shame and remorse. Tyler, I never meant to really hurt you. I never saw myself as being racist or making any comment about your skin at all. I saw myself standing up for myself and calling out immaturity when I saw it. I am truly sorry. I wish I could take those words back and I will admit I do not use them anymore. Since I couldn't understand why they were racially offensive, I just didn't use them anymore. I learned new words that were probably more effective and I still use those. I know of no way to make amends for my ignorance and foolishness; in fact, I suspect that my new understanding shows how immature I was and what a small child mentally. I ask for your forgiveness and hope that whatever pain I caused was small and hopefully gone.

Elijah Mohammed : The question is -who are you?

All of us ask this question to ourselves at some point in our lives... and how we answer it determines our whole lives. His choices changed his life and the lives of many. Just as our choices change our lives. I know a few people who seem lost and I am unclear if they can answer the question that Elijah Mohammed asked. Sometimes I am not sure that I can honesty answer that question. There are times when I feel very confident of the answer, but the jargon that spews forth from my mind is a list of labels and if you think about it.... no person can be summed up in labels nor should they. Aren't labels really a way of wording or acknowledging a trait; a piece of the whole, but how can a label or lots of labels encompass the whole? I am a woman, used to be a wife, a religious observer, a writer, a mother, a celiac... and yet, none of those labels tell you much or give you a clear image of who I am, what is important to me.... anything. What a powerful individual Malcolm X was... to question and question and to work to really understand himself and develop his ideas. The self awareness and control that requires is something that many people never develop- it is certainly not one of my strong suits.

"Whites can help us, but they can't join us. There can be no black/white unity until there's first some black unity. We can not think of uniting with others until we have first learned to unite with ourselves. We can think of being acceptable to others until we have first proven acceptable to ourselves..."

This is a really strong statement and a hard reality. Back at the beginnings of the women's movement, many of the leaders that we are able to look back to realized that women would never be able to get any rights as long as any men were also denied rights. That is one reason that many feminists worked and fought for civil rights for African Americans. Malcolm X understood something very essential. Until we can look and work together in our smaller groups, we can easily be divided. Look at any group of people – your church congregations, family, school mates, etc... How easily they are challenged and develop divisions, cliques, and outcasts. Look how easily the American government talked the country into going to war with Iraq – You're with us or against us, patriot or traitor, etc... no middle ground. When those that are in power want something, it is easier to distract and the less powerful majority with other things and such definitive statements. It crushes dissent, freedom of expression and gets many of us to focus on things that are not really important. It's how many of us use our votes to help people enter government who will actually make choices that hurt us and our families... we are distracted by other things and issues that keep us chasing our own tails. We can see this disunity now between not only the races and genders, but between those with economic disparity, health issues, religion, etc...

"I told you to look behind the words and dig out the truth...locked us in chains, 100 million of us, broke up our families, cut us off from our language, our religion, our history.... "

My last thought is not a comfortable one. As I sat and watched the life of Malcolm Little unfold to the adult Malcolm X to the close of his mortality, I found the same question running through my mind. Martin Luther King Jr. was a wonderful man and did some great things. I mean no disrespect to him by my next question. I wonder why we as a nation celebrate Martin Luther King and his achievement... and gloss over Malcolm X. My thoughts as to why we as a nation do that are not very polite or politically correct. I wonder if we celebrate King because we feel more 'comfortable' with him. He is easy to like and his message while hard came through a man who in many ways was nice and easy.... Malcolm X can not be seen in rose colored glasses very well. If you put both the men side by side, Martin Luther King is much more palatable for a white audience- he was Christian to boot. And so we celebrate him and what he stood for and forget some of the things that he did that we wouldn't find acceptable such as his womanizing. (Malcolm X was clearly a more responsible and focused family man.) I guess I wonder if we accept him more because we are trying to turn MLK into a 'good black person' or make him more 'white'. That is not possible to do with Malcolm X... and so as a culture we push him aside. I wish I knew more people of color so that I could ask them: What are their feelings on both men and which one do they feel more comfortable with? Which one matters more when they look at history? And which man do they think was right? A long time ago, I heard the story of the first black mayor of some city whose surname if I recall was Ford. He said that in his job, he had to be 'fairer than fair' and couldn't just try to balance things. He had to always make sure that the balance card leaned more towards his 'white' voters so that they didn't feel he wasn't caring for them and choosing the 'black' population only. How many of our politicians (mostly white) worry about that? Malcolm X was accused of being a black supremacist and a racist and I cannot agree with those labels- He didn't want to destroy or damage the white race... he only wants the black race to have the same choices as the white race.... and the same consequences. It seems that even in our modern, tolerant world.... we haven't changed as much as we would like to think. I feel a bit like a small child again and the world looks different and stark and harsh. I wonder if we will ever be able to get past race in America.... I wonder...