Mormonism Tucked in Fiction

I'm currently wending my way through the novels of Reginald Hill with Andrew Danziel, Peter pascoe and Ellie Soper Pascoe. I love reading the adventures of the 'Fat Man' and the family of Pascoes that he interacts with. While reading through the series I noticed that he commented on Mormon culture a few times. I thought the quotes were interesting and they caused me to pause in reading. My relationship with Mormonism is complicated, but it is a part of me that I own and follow. So I am always surprised to 'meet' it in un-religious and popular texts. Here are my favorite quotes from his novels.

It was like the pope admitting some uncertainty about the position of the Mormons- Reginald Hill (Ruling Passion)

They also might have been gang leaders, astronauts, presidential aides or Mormon PR men, but they were unmistakably American. - Reginald Hill (April Shroud)

Here is one from another author I enjoy- Martha Grimes

Alert, Bass sat up. “Conditions?” Good Lord, conditions as in the inheritance is null and void if you divorce Helen, or become a Mormon, or sell this cottage, or refuse to keep Bolly on as a house boy? The list could go on and on.”- (The Way of All Fish)

NOw that I have completed the works of these authors (for the third or forth time) I am moving on to the non fiction works of Elaine Pagels. Her religious books are great and I'm ready to read some more serious stuff. I always turn to non- fiction in the spring as my thoughts move to more contemplation and my body yearns for warmth and time outside. The time change is this Sunday and the solstice happens soon after that on the 20th... so spring is coming at last. I can't wait!

Happy One Year Anniversary- to my Blog :)

Well, it has been one year since I started my blog- an anniversary that I think is worth noting to myself.  I started this blog for a few reasons- family and friends gently suggesting, the immediate trauma of last January forcing me to try and find a way to communicate and articulate some of my thoughts and feelings, and last... I really wanted to use my blog to help motivate me into not only studying subjects that interested me, but being able to share those ideas them with others and discuss them and maybe eventually really have a small group of diverse people that could truly get together and chat about the wide variety of topics.  The idea of being able to really have a discussion with people who may or may not disagree and work towards understanding and consensus sounded wonderful!  Still does, come to think of it.  :)

So when I started my blog I wanted to focus on a few specific topics.  I wanted to focus on Mormonism, disability, simple living and feminism.  Those topics have many, many different nuances and perspectives to think about and understand.  I also wanted to focus on these topics because these four subjects seem to embody much of my life.  I am a Mormon -by culture as well as by faith.  On July 9, 2009 I stopped attending church due to a major difficulty and I have so much needed to talk about it... to really understand it and to move past it and find peace.  The situation at church is changing and morphing for the better, but like all major change, it is slow and sometimes feels like I am watching paint dry. However, I stare and work and then I blink and I realize that some of the paint is dry. It is coming! :)

My ideas on simple living have changed a bit since I have started to try that as well. Just the words 'simple living' have so many nuances and you can tell just by looking at the magazines trying to catch the 'market' in the racks at the supermarket. Some things I could live without- I know I could... but I do not feel like they make my life simpler- I almost feel like life is harder without them. There are some things that I don't need and I get rid of and never miss. Certainly over the last few years I have found that what affects the quality of my life the most is people- and not things I own... or need... or want.

And I have found that I haven't focused on feminism or disability as much as meant to... and as some changes in my personal life have become more of a focus and the gist of my pain... and the taker of my time, I have put so little that is truly personal on this blog. My personal blog feels too 'open' to be terribly honest about my life on... a interesting commentary I think. Maybe if my life was simpler... I could feel comfortable, but in some ways I feel like my life is dragging me along in the choices of others and I am just trying to find the ground under my feet... and I hope it is solid. I really never imagined that I would have to deal with some of the trials that I am facing and struggling with. That said, I have enjoyed this blog very much and I am so glad that I was talked into it. I know that I am not a 'popular' read and that very few people even know that I exist, but I do feel that I am putting out some information that can be useful to other people. I have also found that I feel more confident in my writing and myself- that I can articulate some of my needs or thoughts even if I do not have a human being that I am sure I want to share all of them with.

So, I am not sure which direction I should head in with my blog this year. The topics that I wanted to write about in the beginning are still near and dear to my heart, but life feels more complicated that it did then... which I never imagined was possible at that time. I think that I will head forward continuing to share my thoughts on education, history, and my life. I will try to be a little more open about my confusion and concerns about my life as well as my family... And I will try to move forward on some of the topics that I really wanted to talk about- especially about disability and its effect on individuals families, and communities. However, I am aware that there are other directions that I can move in... and need to think about it. I am also hopeful that as the year goes on, I can find not only more topics that interest me, but more topics that can be discussed! I really like the discussions that I have been able to have that are started on this blog... and I would like to continue it! So, welcome to the second year of my blog. I am happy to continue... and hope you will join me! :)

History of a Song: April - “I’ll Be A Sunbeam” (a.k.a. “Jesus Wants Me For A Sunbeam”)

This song was imagined from the mind of Nellie Talbot. Unfortunately, there is very little known about her- I was able to find very limited information on her. There were some possibilities of where she lived her life in the census. I did find a genealogy site that said her full name was Ellen Winnifred Talbot and she was born in October 1871. Another site said that she died in March 31, 1959 and her parents were Joseph and Mary Talbot. What is generally known is that she lived in Missouri and at one point, she wanted to come up with some new material for her Sunday School class that she taught at church. She could only think of nature and wrote this song about Christ and sunbeams.

In 1900, Edwin Othello Excell wrote music to go with her words and the song as we know it was born. He was born in December of 1851 and he died in 1921 in Chicago where he was buried. He was the son of a German pastor and he began his adult life as a bricklayer. His love of music was such a vital part of his joy and life and so he traveled to Chicago to study. He went on to start singing schools and expanded his work in religious song and study. He wrote over 2000 religious songs and pursued music publishing for most of his life. He is well known for his arrangement of “Amazing Grace” in his published hymnals and for his editing and publishing skills.

This song has been used by many Christian denominations since it was written and set to music. I learned it in Sunday School when I was a child in the Mormon church. Others have written online about learning this song in many different protestant churches. And, because it has had such a wide audience, it has made its rounds through not only Christian churches, but parodies and pop musicians. This hymn was referenced in a song called “Alibi” that was performed by Elvis Costello. The first parody of the song that I could find was sung in 1987 by a Scottish Alternative band called The Vaselines. Later the group changed their parody and renamed it “Jesus Doesn’t Want Me For A Sunbeam”. In 1992, the latter parody was released by Nirvana and before the band broke up, they released two additional versions of this parody. Another parody was published on the web in 2006 called “Allah Wants Me for a Jihadist” and is sung to the same tune.

This song has a long history in the Mormon church. The Mormon Tabernacle Choir has released a version of this song and the LDS church has many online resources that parents can use to work with this song- including a Primary Song video and coloring pages. It has been published as a book by author Hans Wilhelm and LDS apostle mentioned in the October 2009 conference that this song is one that he “really loves.” This song is also listed as #12 on the Official All Time Favorite Primary Songs list in the LDS Museum of Church History and Art in Salt Lake City, Utah. This song or theme (Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam) is heavily marketed and can be purchased on pillowcases, shirts, stickers, rubber stamps, thongs and more. (yes… thongs. Can you say too much marketing?) This song was recently released by the music group Juice on a movie soundtrack for the film “The Home Teachers”. However, it would be a mistake to forget that this song is not an originally ‘Mormon’ song and to lose sight of the message that this song gives not only to other Mormons, but to the outside religious world at large. After Prop 8 in California, a group sponsored a contest for slogans to protest outside of the Salt Lake Temple. One of the most popular slogan was- Jesus wants me for a Sunbeam, why don't you? Love is always the answer.

This song is one of the first primary songs I ever remember learning and it was the second one that I taught my own child. What does this song mean to you? What memories does it conjure up in your mind? If you are not LDS, please tell me your experiences with this song.

Is Questioning Bad?

Why do people tend to believe that if you question something, you are inherently bad? Why is questioning bad? Why do we as human being fear curiosity? Is it questioning itself or do people get upset depending on other factors- such as who is doing the questions, what is questions, how it is asked, etc...

When I was growing up, questioning someone was not a learning experience- it was rebellion, pure and simple. In college I was taught that questioning is the source of growth and learning. But every time I question some policy or cultural expectation of the LDS church (notice my word choice – I am not questioning doctrine), I am branded by almost everyone as a foolish befuddled person who has fallen prey to anti-Mormon ideas, apostate visions or just simply too confused to truly understand the church. My testimony and faith are questioned and found lacking with no evidence besides the word “Why”.

To me, the idea of dissent and questioning of faith are inherent to my faith and stem back to the very earliest Mormon faith. If truth be told, would Mormonism exist without the faith and questions of our first latter day prophet Joseph Smith? Almost every revelation he received was based upon asking the Lord for confirmation and answers to questions. In the church today, we are encouraged to ask Heavenly Father for anything understanding that he is never to busy for us and he will answer our prayers. We can receive revelation to help us with specific needs, responsibilities, and questions and to help us strengthen our testimony. D&C 76:5-10 states:

5 For thus saith the Lord— I, the Lord, am merciful and gracious unto those who fear me, and delight to honor those who serve me in righteousness and in truth unto the end.

6 Great shall be their reward and eternal shall be their glory.

7 And to them will I reveal all mysteries, yea, all the hidden mysteries of my kingdom from days of old, and for ages to come, will I make known unto them the good pleasure of my will concerning all things pertaining to my kingdom.

8 Yea, even the wonders of eternity shall they know, and things to come will I show them, even the things of many generations.

9 And their wisdom shall be great, and their understanding reach to heaven; and before them the wisdom of the wise shall perish, and the understanding of the prudent shall come to naught.

10 For by my Spirit will I enlighten them, and by my power will I make known unto them the secrets of my will—yea, even those things which eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor yet entered into the heart of man.

So, if revelation is so important and questioning is a basic part of our religious structure so that we can receive revelation, why do we pounce like feral dogs onto our fellow saints who question? Why do we immediately assume that their questions are meant to cause harm to the church? Why do we fear them? And why are we not more like them? Because to question helps us to learn more about God and life itself....

The Collision Between Disability, Mormonism, Simple Living and Feminism

For awhile many people have told me that I should start a blog. Today I had an experience that convinced me that I should. I have always felt that I do not have a lot to talk about that is different from anyone else. But today, I learned that being able to see the world in shades of gray and not the harsh branding of black/ white is a gift that I do have that I can share with others. I learned that maybe my experiences might genuinely benefit others and in the end... truly benefit myself. So, my goal for this blog over time is to explore the collision between disability, Mormonism, simple living, and feminism. I would also like to discuss the concerns of my heart and the questions that crop up in my life.