Life is Different Here- Short Analysis of the book “Bridges Out of Poverty”

It is important for teachers, social workers, and mentors who work with poor individuals and communities to understand that poverty not easy to successfully resolve. Poverty is a multi- faceted problem where individuals who work full time can still remain in poverty and those who are born into ‘generational’ poverty are unable to break out of the beliefs, behaviors and survival skills that define their everyday lives.1 As a future teacher, it is vital that I understand the multiple causes of poverty, the unique problem solving skills that are acquired by those who live in it, the hidden rules among economic classes, and the patterns that hold individuals in their economic and social class for the duration of their lives. This topic is quite broad and and this book covers more information and details than can be covered in a short analysis; therefore, I will focus on two specific aspects that need to be acknowledged by potential helpers working with both individuals and communities to effect positive change to figuratively build a “bridge out of poverty”. These focus areas are: Patterns in Generational Poverty and Internal Resources and Resiliency.

Patterns in Generational Poverty

Individuals in generational poverty learn from an early age many thoughts and behaviors that can significantly affect their ability to overcome the poverty of their childhood. An aspect of this particular form of poverty is the specific structure, belief systems, and hidden rules that are created to keep families and communities together. Even seemingly helpful strategies such as developing a community support system and ways to cope can in the long run hold back economic progress as special debts come due.

Since living in and dealing with poverty is the only lifestyle that individuals know, specific coping behaviors develop. Some aspects of dealing with poverty are limited respite time, power and matriarchal structures, and creating support systems for day to day survival. Since money is lacking, the forms of respite that are most frequently used are group activities and discussions, background noise (constant television in background, many people talking at once, humor, etc.), and other inexpensive interpersonal activities. Support systems are created by developing relationships with others in the community that are co-dependent; individuals help each other with volunteer work or financial resources when they are available and the same is expected in kind when others have the resources and abilities available. The individuals with power in family relationships tend to be the mother of the family; it is she who is the constant and focal point of all relationships so her words and actions have a stronger impact on the group than other individual members even when the members are grown ups. All speech is held in the casual register which includes survival language, extreme freedom of speech, and the propensity to talk back to authority, marking people in poverty and making it difficult for them to find and keep steady employment.

Belief systems are unconsciously recognized or intentionally developed by all individuals; however, there are several rather unique belief systems that tend to exist solely in those who struggle with poverty. The beliefs that fate rules their lives, that society owes them a living, that conflict must be resolved either physically or by removing themselves from it such as quitting jobs, cause specific behaviors: difficulty in organization, excuses for problem behaviors, difficulty in accomplish tasks and monitoring their own behavior.2 Due to these challenges and more, individuals may be unable to exit their economic class; in essence, this reinforces the beliefs in fate and dislike of authority.

Internal Resources and Resiliency

All human beings have some form of internal resources that help them to navigate the world around them. Some examples of internal resources are intelligence, traditional and cultural spirituality, emotional resiliency, as well as other internal protective factors. Internal assets can include the ability to form positive relationships, self worth, flexibility and more. Depending on the individual, these resources may all be in abundance or may be limited due to many factors beyond their control such as mental illness, abuse, and environmental damage or challenges that can not be escaped.3 One ability that tends to be developed is the ability to solve problems minute by minute, day-by -day, with limited resources which is a valuable survival skill.4 If possible, it is important for both the individual and their mentors/ helpers to recognize the internal strengths that each person possesses and how to use those skills to the best advantage. However, it is important to recognize that people dealing with long term poverty may develop limitations to their internal resources due to the trauma that is inherent to the environment and stressors that enfold the individual.

For people in poverty, life is a daily struggle that is often invisible to those who do not know them well. Therefore, it is necessary to recognize poverty in individuals and communities based on the visual and behavior cues given by those with in. Individuals need role models or mentors that can help them overcome the hidden rules of the class system as well as develop a trusting relationship between so that difficult subjects can be discussed and challenged. It is important for who work to lift people out of poverty to understand the behaviors and general challenges of poor people. Particular help is needed with goal development, coping strategies, developing new support systems, work stability, and mental health and other medical problems. The necessary personal skills for helping people in poverty-empathy, ability to develop healthy relationships and boundaries, understanding of the challenges faced and how to gather appropriate data so that treatment plans are relevant and successful- need to be developed and strengthened in all individuals who work with challenged populations so that those who help can maintain their own internal and emotional resources.

There are more steps discussed in this book to help struggling communities and people than I was able to discuss here. I highly recommend this book for all individuals who wish to work with people to improve their economic situations. I also recommend this book for people who struggle with poverty to help them understand that there are ways that their lives can change; that they are not merely the victim of fate. An important book for all to gain insight into ourselves and our communities.

Thoughts and Musings on "Black Feminism in Everyday Life" by Siobhan Brooks

I just finished really a long essay titled “Black Feminism in Everyday Life: Race, Mental Illness, Poverty and Motherhood and was written by Siobhan Brooks. This is one of the most powerful and painful readings that I have ever picked up. Schizophrenia is a very touchy topic for me on a few different levels. To read the original essay that I am reacting too, here is a link. This post is a bit convoluted and a bit personal to boot, but I certainly found lots to think about and comment on... :)






"They didn't deal with the issues of poverty and lack of education, the realities of infanticide and racism or making abortion accessible for all women"

"I think... rarely considered issues of class regarding motherhood"

I grew up very sheltered from feminists issues. In fact, a general authority of my church named "feminists" as one of the three most dangerous enemies to the church. The idea of individuals calling themselves feminists and being activists was (and still is a little) frightening to me. Contention and anger scare me a lot and activism and feminism come with both- mostly appropriately contentious, etc... as change doesn't come with silence demurring - it comes with struggle, with raised voices, and activity. It has taken over two decades for me to not only embrace many of the ideals that feminism embodies, but to feel comfortable calling myself a feminist and trying to learn to be comfortable with activism. I grew up relatively lower middle class I think and didn't really understand the idea of racism at all- to some extent I still do not ever though I do recognize some racism in myself and those around me. I understood that poverty was caused either by yourself or that God was testing you with it... but most likely a bit of both. I have heard that the US has a very high rate of infant mortality and I have never really understood that in the guise that I also here we have the best health system in the world. I also recognize that the women's movement has managed to make abortion legal, however, the reality is that abortion is for the most part only available to a small percentage of women especially as laws are passed creating more and more hurdles to obtaining it. When I read these lines I thought about how race and poverty/ class really do intersect a lot in our societies and for individuals without health insurance, so too do the problems of infanticide, fewer educational opportunities, and fewer successful ways to raise productive, happy, successful children. When I was getting divorced I discovered that women who divorce are more likely to become impoverished and adding children to the mix only increased the chances. I do struggle a lot with finances and paying the bills even though I work like mad and long enough hours that some days I come home and I am just too tired to even make anything for my dinner.

In many ways, I do not think that the feminist movement has ever fully dealt with the "realities of infanticides and racism or making abortion available for all women." I say this for many reasons. One reason is that no matter where you live in this country (and in many places in the world), abortions are simply not feasible or available to those who need them. While abortions are technically legal in this country, so many 'minor' restrictions and so much societal/ political pressure. In so many ways, It appears to me that to be able to be an activist, you must have steady financial support and stability in your life to return to... and so it makes an unfortunately amount of sense that feminism as a movement can literally not see important and needful distinctions in their work because these individuals for the most part have not lived or witnessed these particular struggles. For someone who is always able to afford and get healthcare whenever they need it, it is really hard to imagine the woman sitting crying on the couch after a fall praying that her leg isn't broken and after an hour of intense pain, begging a regular doctor's office to get her in to avoid the costly emergency room... and to go back to work two days later against doctor's advice because the financial needs are even greater now with the injury. For a stay at home mother with a well to do and fairly stable home and relationship, it is challenging to even comprehend how someone can give birth and be back behind a cash register or teaching a class two days later due to financial motivations. It is so easy to not see or even understand that these situations not only exist, but are way too common for comfort and even one significant change in their life can bring them to the same point of struggle. I watch many people who need feminism fight it because they can not see how it is helping them... and for the most part they are absolutely right- having the right to get an abortion but the inability or lack or resources to make it possible feels much the same as no right at all.  Having the right to legally take a few weeks off after child birth but not the resources or support to do so again doesn't feel much different to the woman who has the right and struggles back to work so that she can feed herself and her child. I have sometimes wondered in the feminist movement and motherhood have rarely noticed each other at all. After a child is born, the mother will work and struggle through the best she can with whatever resources she has and its seems to me (might not be true, just my thoughts from the readings and my own experience) and the woman is a mother, there is so little to help her at all. Many of the same people that I know who are against abortion only want to adopt white wee babies, not children with pasts or children with phenotypes different from their own. There are lots of organizations to help you adopt out your baby, but not to help set you up in such a way to learn, understand and really take care of it- in this sense the child becomes a commodity which doesn't feel comfortable to me either. The government has programs that can help and do help, but depending on your circumstances is isn't hard for me to see how people and children fit through the cracks all the time and very little in resources or even thought seems to be brought to the table by either feminist groups or those who are "anti abortion / pro life." And now I am one of those people.... where I think about it and want to change it and feel strong emotions about all of this and yet... I do not see any way to change it very much at all and so after a few weeks, these thought might too simply drift off into my memories as the weight of daily living, work and needs overwhelm and slowly push them to the deep of the subconscious mind. (In a separate reading titled Alaza', "My oldest sister .... she's married and lives with her husband, she doesn't have any babies (so you know she's going somewhere!" Strong words indeed.)

"They never said I was being abused and never made me feel as if there was something obviously wrong with the way we lived."

"In fact, I never saw my mother as having a mental illness at all because she was functional"

"I feared that my survival would be at risk if I were ever taken away from her."

Ouch. This hit hard. My mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia when I was twelve (this was in the 1980's where so many mental health disorders including bi-polar and autism were called schizophrenia- with age, time and more knowledge I suspect that my mother is actually bi polar or had borderline personality disorder, but that is only a guess on my part. For six months, she used medication and I remember that six months as a fairly quiet and peaceful time. As one of five children, things were never truly quiet but even my mother seemed calm and didn't seem so manic and ragged and ready to fight. Then, she decided that the doctor was wrong, threw away the meds and has studiously avoided doctors, counselors, anyone who could potentially be a threat to her since then. The fear of people understanding what happened at home and then rejecting me for it was very real and it was only during my teenage years that the war of openness and hiding all broke into my conscious life. When I couldn't take it any more, I would try to run away and being a relatively unintelligent person, I ran to the homes of church members who would tell me to stop being rebellious, to honor my mother and father and would then return me home where I would be seriously punished. Nothing I ever told anyone that was happening in my home was every really believed until after my sister and I were old enough to leave without legal recourse. This quote makes me smile and cry for the child that this young woman once was- not having the best help at home but also some support and love to help her continue on. I want more for her and I feel I think some of the pain that she might have felt and confusion from the different examples of families in society around her. Did her mother love her? Yes it sure seems so. So together they both fought or dealt with her mental demons. I have not chosen to do that as I do not feel like I can... so I recognize that my mother does love me and did the very best job she knew how, but I avoid all contact to protect myself from the violent anger and words that are hurled through the air when she is crossed... and it is so hard to know what will make her feel crossed. Many of my siblings have moved far enough away that visits with her require preparation and one sibling has moved his family and not passed out the address. Its a bit of a cluster mess really.... Sometimes I think that the feminist movement has done so much good with focusing on domestic abuse, etc... but these movements tend to focus on the men as perpetrators and women as victims - while stereotypically and usually true, it leaves the victims of women doubly silenced. Also, mental health is something that both feminism and society tend to shy away from. Its difficult, messy and very individual and unique... it is also quietly feared. I am grateful to have read this story, to learn that she had no idea that medication even existed and to recognize that this happens to many people. I am sad that it does, but listening to other people who have successfully and even compassionately survived these situations is a beautiful and precious thing. (In a separate reading titled 'Jaminica', she suggests the same idea that gripped my heart- "...I immediately felt like if she could go through that sort of thing and come out on top, then I could too."

"I began to understand why most women of color were in ethnic studies, not women's studies"

"These women just assumed everyone was coming from a similar environment as theirs."

I had never really heard of the idea of ethnic studies until the last year or so and what little I heard about it suggested to me that the class was a mix of feminism and cultural studies. So I thought it sounded really interesting but not necessarily a novel idea. This reading suggested its real appeal and how it is so vital to women of color who, even in classes that would seem welcoming to them and safe, are actually not able to feel the same safety and benefits that white women are. That was an eye opening idea to me... and suggests my own skin color as a result. (In a separate reading titled "Myesha", she states - "I'm not sure how much of the way they act is about me being black, but I think it could be more about my being black than I actually know or understand. I don't even know if they understand how racist they can act." I suspect that at least for me, I would have no idea how racist I was being... for if I did I like to think I would fight to change it after getting over being appalled and ashamed at myself. Sometimes the idea of privilege is wonderful and comforting life a security blanket, but it is also like a blindfold in which I do not even recognize what I cannot see. The blanket that I carry for warmth and protection that also leaves me unable to truly understand the environment around me for others... and in essence, myself.

Thoughts?



photos: http://temple-news.com/lifestyle/people-you-should-know-siobhan-brooks-king/

"Ms. Amerikkka" by Aceyalone : Lyrics and Critique

Today's song is titled “Ms. Amerikkka” and was produced and released by Edwin M Hayes, Jr better known by his stage name Aceyalone. This song is off of his album titled “Love and Hate” and it is extremely hard to find and listen to without purchasing the song or album. Every link to it I can find on the internet with few exceptions has either been removed or banned... censorship much? ; ) The lyrics are challenging as they personify and critique the United States of America... and the critique is devastating. Here is the one link that I could find to share the song and the lyrics are below.



Ms. Amerikkka

all right
yo, this song came about one time when
I- I was- I was on a plane back, going back to Los Angeles
coming from somewhere else
and I sat next to this lady and she was telling me something
I don't remember it verbatim,
but I do remember some of the things she said
it was like this-

Life as we know it is about to change
I smell it within the air
the weather is getting strange
drugged up, sedated and
numb from the pain
the sickness in America has spread to her brain
she is no longer fit to make good decisions
she is completely blind and void of any vision
she parties hard and she keeps her conscious mind imprisoned
therefore she's headed for the ultimate collision
she can no longer hide the scars on her face
the innocence now gone is hard to replace
she has no shame, no remorse or any grace
she embraces the devil and she hates over race
Ms. America, the beautiful the free
fallen within the cracks, I wish that you could see
she buried her misery, within society
it's obvious, you have no regard for me

Chorus:
caught up in the belly of America
lost, in the stomach of America
broken down, in the bowels of America
sinking, in the garbage of America
stuffed, in the brain of America
suffering, in the body of America
lying, in the wicked spirit of America
dying, in the old soul of America

Ms. America, you've been a very bad girl
you nearly disgraced humanity in the eyes of the world
vanity has took you over, you're not deserving
the mirror image of your reflection is quite disturbing
she makes so many promises she couldn't keep
she neglected to mother her young, so they don't sleep
they scream out for justice, and then they weep
when out to blame Ms. America, that's what you reap
the audacity of your inventions to rule us all
the tragedy of your intentions to fool us all
you should have gave into nature and to the law
it's only a matter of time before you fall
the things you should of worked out in your first colony
victim of your own advice and your psychology
you've destroyed all morale and the ecology
I'm sorry, but I don't accept your apology

Chorus

Homeless America, so much attraction
has yet to take ability for her actions
we work around within the system and make adaptations
you can let freedom ring, within your faction
how can people still be hungry, when there's a surplus?
suffering within your home, you've made them worthless
damn near police the state, you make us nervous
even though some conform and join your service
you're presidency's the biggest joke, but we're the laugh
always smell the gun smoke, on your behalf
I think I should send a telegraph to your staff
America you're down and dirty, you need a bath
so tell your secret agents, don't be paranoid
this wasn't taught by Socrates or Sigmund Freud
this is simply gods work, you can't avoid
ever nation ever built has been destroyed

caught up in the belly of America
lost, in the stomach of America
broken down, in the bowels of America
sinking, in the garbage of America
stuffed, in the brain of America
suffering, in the body of America
trying, in the good ol' spirit of America
dying, in the old soul of America


Are you still with me... or did I lose you? I suspect some of my readers will not make it this far. Here are my thoughts on this piece of rap and verbal art.....

One of my first thoughts was shock when I tried to watch the video on Youtube and other sites and got the rejection message "can't be viewed in this county." It is a bit of a strange irony that we (the USA) as a nation chastise and bully other nations into accepting free speech that is critical of the government/ ruling party, but maybe we too as a society (or just the powerful class) also silence are critics when they get too close to the mark.) As I read the lyrics and listened to the words, I could see the images of people in my communities and on television; the lines of families at my local food bank, the homeless shelters filled to capacity, the bitter cold keeping the couches of good friends full as well, the individuals who lack health insurance who struggle on without treatment, those whose mental health is tottering and broken who can not get help until they are incarcerated for long periods of time... and then are forgotten when they are released until they begin to struggle again and are forcibly returned... I saw so much and I felt sadness, hopelessness, exhaustion, and anger.

All of my life I have been told how great this country is. From lessons at church where teachers praise me and others for being the most valiant spirits in our pre-existence to be born at this time and in this country- the country that God the Father fore-ordained to be the place of true Christian gospel restoration. From my parents whose patriotism is strong - sometimes extreme- and would express how lucky I was at every opportunity to be an American. To teachers who taught me how some countries do not let girls go to school and might even be forcibly mutilated or murdered for doing things I took for granted like reading. I grew up believing I lived in the best country in the world and that God willed it to be so; in fact, God actively keeps America the top country in the world. It was only as a young adult that I started to see things and hear things that I struggled to reconcile with these past teachings. Experience has certainly changed and nuanced how I see the United States now - both in a larger sense and in the small communities I try to volunteer in. In these lyrics I heard some of the pain I have felt and witnessed from the humanity around me. The title itself tells two stories to me. It feels a bit arrogant for citizens of the Unites States to be called "Americans" while any other citizen of another country on both American continents are monikered differently. Someone from Canada or Mexico, Chili or Columbia is just as "American" as we are yet each of us if asked what are nationality was would state "American" like each of us is part of the cherry on the top of the sundae. I do it as well, but when I hear myself say it I find I feel a discord in my head and I have wondered if one of the reasons people in other countries stereotype us as arrogant, etc... is our attitude which is reflected in what we call ourselves and how we behave. The second lesson I see is that the title expresses some of the failings of how those in power and how our culture treat minorities. America is not a land for the faint hearted female, the financially poor, nor for individuals of color or disability because, whether by intention or design, society tends to isolate, restrict, stress and even cannibalize them. The title expresses to me the hidden and not so hidden racism in our society and in our hearts and the double edged view of how important women are, but only when they conform to specific gender and cultural roles. After all, the United States is usually portrayed by an old white elderly kind "Uncle Sam"... anyone else can be seen as falling short of this ideal.

The line that really stuck in my head out of the whole song was actually almost the whole third verse because as America is being described as female, she is being lectured on her lack of tradition femininity. For instance, the word disgraced isn't a word usually used for the male gender. She is described as vain, not deserving, a neglecting mother who lets her children cry and scream and weep... and does nothing so her compassion is lacking as well. She is blaming, audacious, and tragic... the destroyer and the victim. I really cannot think of any time I have ever seen or heard "Uncle Sam" described in this way and it feels like this song expresses the true fight of women in this country- our services and talents are accepted and incorporated by the men in our lives yet all failures are prescribed to the females involved while men can whip the flung mud off more quickly and easily. It almost feels like the author of the song who has clearly seen and felt the sting of racism doesn't recognize his own biases and discrimination towards women. I know this sounds a little angry and funnily enough I am not angry as I write this- just a little resigned.

What are your thoughts and feelings on this song?

Thoughts on Revolution, Potential Causes, and Revolt

I did quite a bit of reading on the causes or potential factors of building a revolution- I am currently studying the French Revolution that started in 1789. There are many different causes that can be pointed to in hindsight for a revolution and during my studies I have certainly found several potential factors- poverty, lack of prosperity or hope for the majority of French constituents, poor economy and lack of jobs, huge governmental debt, perception (or reality) of the government being weak, unable to lead or create positive change, and ignorance or indifference (or at least perceived ignorance or indifference) by the few who had the most ability to create change.  All of these could be considered primary factors in creating an environment that sparks a revolution- I think that the more of these factors you add, the more you can actually bet on the spark being lit by a 'small' act and the revolution is now fully operating, so to speak. During my studies, I tried to think of factors that would make me as a person be willing to join in an overthrow of my country's government. As I thought I decided that all of the answers that I gave above would (at least in my case) really be secondary factors- all of them are bad, but I do think that to actually join or start a revolution, I would have to have one other defining factor. I think I would need to have pretty much all of the above, but I also would need to feel that the safety of my family and community are not only at risk, but the idea of the status quo being just as dangerous and life threatening as a revolution might be would be the primary factor that would get me to be involved. I think I would have to feel passionately that all of us (friends, family, community) might be dead unless I did something.... and most of the above factors would have to be in effect for most of that to happen I suspect. The thought that frightens me the most about this line of thinking is that I think many countries, including our own are in this sort of 'swimming pool'- the factors above are all in place and the pool is full and glistening in front of us... we are simply waiting for the one thing/person that gets us all going off of the diving board. I really think that most people will not join a revolt or cause one that becomes a revolution unless you have many factors that they feel passionately about, no ability to see that they will be fixed in the future and the very real possibility of the problems getting so much worse. If you have been suffering for awhile, even a small suggestion of more suffering could really be a breaking point.

I think that these factors are the same reasons that will continue to push for revolutions now and in the future on our planet. I think that as long as people feel hope that things can become better, they can feel help and that they have a voice for facilitating change... then we can as a people will continue to suffer with the economy, shrinking public safety nets and community services, and other difficulties and will do so looking for the light at the end of the recession, etc... But suffering for long periods of time, feeling 'dull' and hopeless, and finding no ways to move forward and only despair and suffering can and will eventually cause people to strike out in their frustration, anger and desire for something else.  I think that is why revolutions tend to be so bloody- the negative emotions cause people to do things that they might never do in any other circumstances. And that is one reason that I dislike the idea of revolution so much. People kill children and people who do not agree with them to up hold their virtue - whether it is change, human rights, etc.... and their virtue becomes in some senses a demon; harming and killing everyone in its wake until the fire of their passion and virtue is put out, contained or destroyed. Many die who had no part in making the problem, many die who wanted to fix the problem, and many die who may not have even understood what the problem was. I will admit that I don't feel comfortable with revolution – even non violent revolution- simply because of the ferocious pace. I prefer change that comes gradually but sure and brings people happily or confusedly into the group... not by force, or other negative means.

Do you think that America has many of the factors that I described above? What are your thoughts on this issue? What would you need to have to get involved in a revolt/revolution?

The Nun Files: Part 4

(I'm sorry it took me so long to post the end of the interview. I do hope that you enjoy it very much! This was one of the best and most illuminating things I have ever done and I would love to have the opportunity to do it again. This sister was just wonderful and I would like to attend one of her retreats)


SMK: -men and the women retreats separate just because of the- so, but I, I found moneys in the social action program to pay for them to go. But you can't do that all the time.

SG: Well, yeah.

SMK: So they talked about the sister, the people that did the first retreat came from Tewksbury Massachusetts. Started in Texas, went to Connecticut, Tewksbury, and then they brought it up to us. And then, once we started doing it, we're on our own now doing it.

SG: OK.

SMK: And we done like over one hundred women like I said so this is ten dollars a book but I'm I'm going to buy it for you I'm going to give it to you.

SG: That's very-

SMK: You don't have to pay-

SG: - kind of you.

SMK: -for it. And I'll autograph it for you in a minute. (laughter)

SG: Thank you!

SMK: Because I think, you know, I think it will be helpful for you if you have children-

SG: Yeah.

SMK: -I think your little boy would- In fact you might want me to write his name in it instead.

SG: Yeah, actually I would like that.

SMK: Yep, OK.

SG: And thank you so much for your time.

SMK: Have I answered all the questions? That's all I know.

SG: I think that you have -no, you know more! I just didn't ask it. (mutual laughter)

SMK: You're probably can, you can only deal with what you've got. So anyway, so this is what I have been busy with this stuff. And we've made up to $5000. I expected only to make, you know, the first books (we sell them ten dollars each) I had a hundred books -that's all I expected to sell. I've gotten five more, five hundred more.

SG: Wow! Hold on just one moment.

(side two recording was ended here)

The Nun Files: Part Three

(Continuation of the interview. Hope you enjoy)


SM: - So we planned this pilgrimage trip to Ireland and we made arrangements we actually stayed with – and now I'm not talking about the Vatican,but I will. I'll get to it, I promise. We stayed with the original convent I don't know if that's already on there anyway.

SG: That's OK. Keep, keep going.

SM: [-?-] And so, anyway, we visited the different places. A couple of the sisters didn't go to all of the places - they were more interested in shopping. (laughter) And you get that in every society-

SG: Yes, you do.

SM: -and so but I, I went to every place that I could go by walking. I walked to some places and I went with the the Superior - Sister Unis was the one who kind of planned the trip and everything that she planned I went to. We actually sang the prayer -the breastplate prayer of St Patrick on the site where he first recited it. And it was beautiful. But anyway, because we were already over there, we decided -each year we have a certain allotment for our vacation so we decided since we were over there that we would take a plane trip over to Rome. And our bishop made an arraignment so that we could be there for the big mass. And it was the fourth of July of 2001 that I was there and we were in -we were like from - lets' say the pope would have been right where the stove is and this is how close I was (pointing from the stove to the table a distance of about six feet) to him. That, that, that was for the big assembly and in order to do, that our bishop had to pro- write to Rome and get a tickets for us. And someone had to go so I was the adventurous one. I got to Boston and found the North American College and got the tickets and I got there in plenty of time so, but it was hot and exhausting and so I sat in- the they had a little stairway going into the thing and I sat saying my rosary and this sister -she was a Sister of Mercy of Alma, that was its some place in Michigan. And they were working in the Vatican at the time (some of their sisters) so she came in and she said “oh sister, you look so hot. Come on in.” And I said, “Well, I came” - you know, I told her what I had come for. And she said -she got me a bottle of water and she got me comfortable and then she said “They're getting the tickets ready”, but she said “I want you to stay near the phone when you get home because there’s a chance you can attend the Mass at the Holy Father.” And she said, “But I can't tell you for sure yet.” But she said stay near the phone so I did when I got back home, back home - back to the hotel. (mutual laughter) That was my home for the week. I did and we got the call and she said -unfortunately, she said- we, some bishops came in so they are going to attend the mass, but you can have a private audience with them afterwords. So you had, we had to be at the big door- the big bronze door. That was for the year of the jubilee. They had, they installed a big bronze door and it got opened at the beginning of the holy year -every so many years they have a holy year. And that was, that was from the year before so we had to meet at the bronze door and the knights were there and, and the, these knights were not in the whole- full regalia. It was just a neat suit, but and then there was another one there in the garden. If you move -he moved the staff like 'no don't do that' and we were given instructions. They said “When, when you can go in, all your coats and things will be left in this out - separate room.” You can't take any camera with you, but they they took a picture obviously (showing me a picture)

SG: Oh, yeah.

SM: “We have our own camera person.” And then they told us where we could get the picture afterwards - a little, a little store around the corner. And so, so we went into the room and I -it was all so awestruck. And then he finished mass and out he came. And when he did, it just was like- ahh, it was just awesome. That was the highlight of the trip. It was awesome just stepping in to the Vatican the first time. I, I just - I don't know, it's just like this is the whole root of our whole religion, you know. But, but when he stepped in there and he- he said a few words and then I was at the very end and this sister- that's not -hold on. (gets up to point at the tapestry) That the other sisters in there, but she was -the person that printed that for me took her out of the picture. If you come right here- see this is Sister Eunice and she was the last one in the line and she had already been there, so she, and she - I think she considers me like you know a protegee or something because she was she was right with me all the time making sure that I enjoyed every bit of it. But look at him [-?-] and we weren’t supposed to say a word, but guess what! (mutual laughter) The Holy Father gave us a rosary and that’s what he was passing me there and you – normally, if there’s a bishop or a priest, you would kiss the ring of the Holy Father - he’s the bishop of Rome. So I said, “Holy Father, you didn’t let me kiss” - he was reaching for the next rosary for that sister. That would have bothered me “I didn’t get to kiss your ring.” Well, I was rewarded with the biggest smile and he put his hand down so I could kiss his ring.

SG: Oh, wow.

SM: I wasn’t going to be there- all, all that distance -and not get to kiss his ring. I mean that would have been horrible! (laughter) And, anyway, they didn’t throw me out. (mutual laughter) I thought “OOO, I did it” and it just happened, you know, but it was -it was a big smile that came on his face. I just will never, ever forget it never.

SG: Wow.

SM: And then I went to the -they have a museum and the big room where they always gathered to let the pope - I can’t think of it, where Michelangelo’s big, big paintings are-
 
SG: Sistine Chapel.
 
SM: Sistine chapel - thank you! (laughter) See, you’re doing better than I am! (mutual laughter) I just, I’m getting excited so I’m going, you know, have these senior moments. Anyway we, I went there and that was awesome, but - it was just- a priest had told me if you go to the Sistine Chapel, don’t stop to see anything because you’ll never get through it. I mean, you’ll never ever - you’d have to be there for weeks to see everything that’s there, but the important thing is the Sistine Chapel. And so he said just keeping moving; people will stop and you just keep, you know, moving through which I did. And I just sat there- just awww. It was just awesome! I was the only one in the whole group that went to the Sistine chapel- they didn’t, they didn’t want to go through all that.

SG: Wow.

SM: And, but it just was beautiful. And the other thing about that trip was- a lot of the priests that were there - at least, this is a comment, or some of the sisters- they said they weren’t very friendly. Or if you talked- see a priest and you talked, they’d say, they’d indicate they didn’t speak English. But I met the present pope, but he was Cardinal Ratzinger.

SG: Yea.


SM: OK, I met him. I carried a little tiny notebook with me and if I met somebody, I talked to them - I’d write their name down so that when I was by myself or now I pray for all those people that I met on that trip -because I’m a people person, remember? So I, I had this little notebook and I, I – he, he spoke to me first and I said, “Oh will you sign my book?” And then when the election time came and I was watching it on TV and they were saying that Ratzinger might be a possibility, I was saying that’s the one I met! (laughter) I was so excited when he was elected. I said “Oh, I've already met him, but he wasn't pope then.” So I've met two of them.

SG: (mutual laughter) Yea.

SM: So anyway. Yeah, and he was very pleasant. And he asked where, you know, where'd I'd come from and about my order and everything - it was just, he was wonderful. I would love to have a trip to go and see him now, but that- it just, see if he would remember. And I almost believe he would remember, I really do. Well, if I took my little notebook with me, he'd see the name - (mutual laughter) he'd know, he’d probably say “Oh yeah, that's that crazy nun that wanted me to write my name in a book!”

SG: No, he probably would have said, “Hey it's that-

SM: [unintelligible phrase] (laughter) He'd say, “Now have you been praying for me?” ( mutual laughter) Does that answer that question enough?

SG: I think it does.

SM: OK

SG: So we only have a few more.

SM: Good.

SG: How was being a nun today different from when you started many years ago?

SM: Well, I think I, I already answered that-

SG: I think so – most of it.

SM: I can't -except that- most things we had to do, we had to have permission. And because I live alone, it's so different. I do call my Superior if it's going to be something different that’s going to happen, I do call and you know-

SG: Did you call about this interview, for instance?

SM: No, I didn't! (laughter)

SG: No, I just wondered...

SM: I thought about that last night - I'm saying, “Well, it was too late to call her,” but yeah, right. If it was going to be something different- I don't think, I don't think that she'd have a problem, but anyway. I should run it past her before you turn it in. (mutual laughter)

SG: Go ahead and do that. (mutual laughter)

SM: I hadn't thought of it until last night, like actually to tell you the truth, but I don't think its a problem. No.

SG: So how do you think your order has changed in the last fifty years to keep it viable?

SM: Well, ours, ours has changed because the 'Sisters of Mercy of Maine' and the 'Sisters of Mercy' all over the United States studied over a period of ten years -in fact, it's twenty years ago now I think. I’m not sure. Anyway to, to see the possibility of amalgamating in some way. Because of the loss of vocations. If they combined resources, they might be able to better take care of the sick and so things like that . But there were some of us -quite a number of us in the community in Maine- that did not feel that that should happen, OK. And actually there were probably about twenty eight and we had to actually do a vote- Some of this I don't think should be recorded, but I'm answering it for you OK? And maybe you can -

SG: Well, I -

SM: -put it right-

SG: I will give you the transcript and I am more than happy for us to-

(recording stopped at the request of the interviewee)

SM: But I knew I did not want to -because in the course of the study -they had a big gathering here in Maine. They had them in different places, but one of the places was in Maine. And a lot of sisters came and most of them were not wearing a habit -that is very important to me. I feel that it's important because it makes me accessible to people who want to talk to a religious. If I didn't wear it, they might not know I was unless I told them, OK? Sometimes by your actions I suppose people would say, “Well, there’s something different about her.” And they ask, you know, why you're different or something, but I feel the habit is important. Not the way it was when I first entered- that probably should go in that other question. (laughter) Because we had eight yards of material around a yoke and that was heavy and hot in the summertime. And then we were- it was like this, this is the only part of your face that showed. (SM arranges her hands around her face) And when it was hot, it would melt and then it looked awful. (laughter) I felt that looked awful. We didn’t have many mirrors to look at, but if you saw -if you did come across one, you knew you looked awful. Anyway, but that's an aside -

SG: (laughter)

SM: - but to answer that other question, you might want that in there. But as far as the change now, get me back on the question. (laughter)

SG: How has your order changed in the last fifty years to keep it viable.

SM: OK, to keep it viable. So anyway, for us -we felt that it was in -viable to me meant the way Mother McAuley intended it. And when she first started the order, it, it, if a bishop would ask her for sisters, she no longer was in charge of them. She sent them to that dioceses or this place- to England, to America, they went there. But she was no longer their - she was the foundress, but she didn't not demand or, obedience. It, it -the superior she appointed was the one that was in charge and the bishop was the ultimate authority. And that’s the way it is with our community- my community that I belong to now. So we, we were told that we would either have to leave the order or become, you know, just lay people. Or become a [-?-] -another type of, I can't remember the word- I'm sorry. Anyway, and well, a few of us just got together and one of them was Sister Eunice. She really did a lot of research and so forth and she talked to a canon lawyer who told us if we wrote to Rome and explained the situation, maybe we could get permission to remain as Sisters of Mercy the original way they were. Which we did - we each wrote our individual letters about what how we felt about religious life, how we felt about not joining that, and how, why, and so forth. I remember, I think I wrote about twelve or fourteen pages handwritten and all of those were packed up and they were sent to Rome. And then we got a letter back -then the information was sent to our bishop. And we received a, we have it framed at our house- the fact that we were officially the Diocese Sisters of Mercy and there were twelve of us and now we are down to seven.

SG: Wow.

SM: We desperately need vocations and that's (transcription stopped to to wishes of SM and then restarted)

SM: I think their fear comes from - a lot of people as they get older, they fear, are looking for security and well, and that’s not the right reason to join the community. But that was not the case with this woman and I think when you interview her you will find that's true. She was, was not looking for security. She had worked for many years as the post office, in the post office here so she has a good pension. Her pension would be contributed to the funds, you know, for the community so she wouldn't be totally dependent on us to provide. She certainly can run circles around me and I'm pretty active. (laughter) And you don't even know half of what I do! (mutual laughter) That has even come in the interview yet.

SG: It hasn't?

SM: Yeah. (laughter)

SG: How do you think the hierarchy of the church in Maine has changed over time?

SM: I'm, I'm not sure if that. Other than the fact that what I've described earlier about how the church is is being set up with, like ten churches for one parish now. We are the Parish of the Precious Blood- these ten churches, we have ten worship sites other than that-

SG: [unintelligible phrase]

SM: - that’s the only change that I would say exists. I don't understand hierarchy and it's not important to me. (laughter)

SG: It's OK. (mutual laughter) So, there is a thought among some church members that nuns and priests should be allowed to marry?

SM: Yeah, I don't have anything- I don’t have any thought of that one. I, I mean, I have a thought on it -I don't agree with it I should say. I, I do not -I know in scripture and that’s one argument that people use for the marriage of priests. I don't even consider nuns doing that -that’s kind of counter active of what a description of a nun is; it's a celibate person, you know. And I don't, I don’t see any point in that. But as for priests being married, I don't really accept that idea and I would never want to have - and the other controversy which isn't there is women priests- I wouldn't accept that either. I would not want, desire it for myself nor could I see that happening just because of the personality of a woman. Woman- some women can be confidential, I know. I can keep a confidence, but not all women can. Most women can't -they've got to tell a secret as soon as they, you know, can breathe it out -they want to. So, you know, I just don't think that's proper. And I also, as far as the priests being married, that is, causes strain on a marriage. A marriage is a man and a woman together and if he has to had a lot of confidential contacts with other women, that's going to cause a strain on a marriage. A lot of priests get into trouble because some woman has this problem and this problem, this problem, this one, pretty soon you know you hear of some scandal or something that has happened. And so I just don't think that- I think it would definitely cause risks between a marriage. I don't think that would work.

SG: OK.

SM: I know originally in the scripture -in the only proof you have, is Jesus. You know, Peter's mother in law. So we know he was married, but you never hear anything about his wife so I don't know - maybe she died? We don’t know.

SG: Can't argue that.

SM: Yeah. (mutual laughter) I don't know, you just never hear anything about her. I don't mean - we don't even know her name- we only know he had a mother in law.

SG: Yeah.

SM: That Jesus healed so she could get up and cook a meal for them. (laughter) So I bet that's what I , people will use for that. I think women can be helpful and we do have in the state of Maine- in the church - the deaconite program. A permanent deaconite program is what they call that. Deacons are a part of the steps, of the steps of becoming a priest, but a permanent deaconite /deacon is a person -can be married. And they serve the church -they can't say mass, but they can baptize, they can marry people and they can be a great assistance to an area like this where you only have three priests for ten churches.

SG: Yeah.

SM: We don't have a deacon, but they're hoping to get one.

SG: OK.

SM: Now the deacon, the permanent deacon- if he's married can never marry again. If his wife dies, he can never marry again.

SG: OK.

SM: He's permanently a deacon and so he would be held to the vow of celibacy as far as keeping that life.

SG: Right.

SM: - and no other afterwords, but that life can be very helpful to him. Because a lot of the things a deacon does would be educational things in the parish and that wife could be involved in that. And when a deacon is training, the wife is required to have classes also in the church. And they, they are obliged to the, the office the - what did I say before? (laughter) 'Liturgy of the Hours' as is the priest and the sisters -we're obliged to do that each day, but that’s them. Several lay, many lay people do in this day and age too -the liturgy of the hours. They could for their own spirituality, especially in places where you don't have a mass every day and then we often will gather to do the liturgy of the hours.

SG: OK.

SM: But I jumped-

SG: Well,-

SM: -into that one backwards way.

SG: No, that's just fine.

SM: (laughter) You're going to have fun doing this!

SG: I'm having fun already! (laughter)

SM: Oh, OK.

SG: So tell me, tell me a little bit or a lot about how you spend your time.

SM: From my work here?

SG: Yeah.

SM: I am the director of the social action programs. That, that’s an arm of the church that- it's called social justice and peace, but we call it social -our program is called social action. And we, I, I do it here for St Mary's, but now that we are ten churches we're also working to get all of the ten churches on the same page. And maybe I do some fund-raising together so that we can better help the poor of the area. One of the things that I have had to do in the past and now we're going to try to combine it with the others is have a big fundraiser each year so that we can do the things that these calls [-?-] - help with lights and medical needs, clothing -we don't have a clothing store. We used to, but I sometimes can provide a voucher for certain events or whatever -getting to school, getting kids ready for school in the fall and so forth. And then, we had originally in the basement of the first convent that I was in St Mary's, and in this basement we had a food pantry. And that pantry out there is very cold -it always is, even in the summer. We had freezers for our food pantry, but that has evolved into an inter-faith one which is called GIFT and I'm the volunteer director of that and that is over on industrial street. And that’s, I think I said a little bit about that before. We have it set up as a store. People come and actually shop, but its dread – we, after we were there two months we were outgrown it. And the board is dragging their feet (laughter) and I'm praying hard against them.

SG: How many people do you think utilize the food pantry?

SM: We have, we serve well over two hundred people. It's a very poor area.

SG: Two hundred people a week or -

SM: In- over, they come once a month sometimes.

SG: OK.

SM: They can come, but there's well over that. I don't know any set number in my head, but I'm sure that’s a on a pretty regular basis, there's well over that that. Some people will come once or twice, but we don't - we just ask minimum- name, address, and telephone number, verify that they're from Presque Isle, Mappleton, Chapman, or Crouseville -that's the area that we serve. And then, we give them the guidelines that the stamp food stamp program gives and if there within that guideline, then their eligible. But even sometimes, I tell them, you know, there may be other circumstances like somebody's ill for a long extended time. That's not going to - their income may remain the same, but they have added expenses.

SG: Yeah.

SM: So we- they just have to add that comment to the paperwork and that's it. And once they've filled that in, then they can come whenever they need it and come and shop. But it's, we can only bring one person in at a time -especially if it's a mother with children, she's got to bring her children in. Well the room, the shopping area is probably like these two rooms here (gestures to kitchen and office space - maybe 400 feet square) and then there's a little office that would probably be about the size of that room there too (gestures to office space – maybe 100 feet square) added on, where I can take somebody privately, you know, if they need to -they have questions or I need to make sure I have their information verified, so it's private.

SG: OK.

SM: But it's, its not big enough. It's definitely not big enough.

SG: It definitely sounds like if you're having that many people go through-

SM: Yep.

SG: -the (unintelligible phrase)

SM: Well, we think- the government just recently started a program and you probably have it too. It's called 'Commodities for Elderly.' I believe people are entitled to -they, they give you these two bags that are all prepared which is totally against my idea. Because I like them to come and shop, but gradually those -we, we started with thirty of those those bags laying there. If our regular food comes in the same time, we have I literally took a picture of it. We had like a little path from here to here to my office. (gestures) Another path over here so they could shop.

SG: Oh, no. (laughter)

SM: (laughter) That’s' the way it was. I mean, we had no space for anything then. I took pictures to take to the board so they could, that's what it looks like (shows me a picture) once a month. So the first two weeks, we had these commodities. We started with thirty-two of those- now we have fifty-two and so they, my workers, came to me and said, “Sister, do you mind if we do it on Wednesday also? We'll cover it, you don't have to come because what will they” - On Monday, people are there for the telephone. They make appointments and if, if, we have like time in the course of the day for twenty people or families to come. OK. Well, if you've got fifty two of those and you're supposed to get them out in two weeks you can't so they do some on Monday and, Monday and Tuesday of those first two weeks. And then the regular people that need to come, I tell them to come before their food stamps come are used so that they can better spend their food stamps. You know, because if they come with a list and they need meat and we don't have it, then they're gonna need their food stamps to get that meat.

SG: Yeah.

SMK: You know, we, we, we, I fight with them- the Catholic Charities -because they want to send me ice cream and cakes to fill up my freezer with. That, that's not nutrition and I finally got them to not send that stuff to me-


SG: (laughter)

SM: -and I said give me meat! Protein and vegetables, I don't care what, but you're not going to fill my freezers until I have lots of them. When I have lots of them and lots of space, OK, you know I'll take the cakes and yeah-

SG: (laughter)

SM: -that's good for them. You know, they have birthdays, they have, but it -(laughter)

SG: Yeah, you can't give it to them every week because-

SM: No! So I fight. I fight, fight, fight-

SG: (laughter)

SM: - all the time (laughter) and then, but, but most of the time it's calling. I bring people in, if they call in because they have this huge electric bill- I usually bring them in and I ask them to tell me everything that they have to- what their income is and then we put down everything they have to pay to see why is this is continuing to happen. And then try to help them set up some kind of a budget even if they are paying just a little bit more than what they've been doing and then encourage them to use the food pantry so that's why we keep getting new people because of my work here. (laughter) Its and I then -when that happens, then I find out the best ways that I can help them and it's -I always try to do it. Because I don't actually write the checks -I have to send it now to Caribou. Well, I – but it used to have to go next door and the lady that was the secretary there was too (transcription stopped to to wishes of SM and then restarted) (mutual laughter) And she would say, “That one doesn't need it; they have a good car” or “I don't” - comments like that and I -how do you know where they get the car, probably a rich uncle gave it to them because they knew they you can't exist without a car. You can't exist in this county without a decent car.

SG: Yeah.

SM: You know- and maybe they're paying up the- too lots of money and whatever, to keep that car and sometimes they lose it. Because I get calls and they say, “We can't come today, we don't have a ride,” You know.

SG: Yeah.

SM: And so I don't know. Right behind me, there's a place that - it's a Christian organization too and they're -they do food too, but they deliver. They're not big enough so that they can set it up like ours but I have their number. And if somebody calls and says, “I can't get a ride today” I give them that number and say, “Maybe next week you can come, but they'll give you enough so that you won’t starve this week.”

SG: Yeah.

SM: And so we work together.

SG: Wow. That's wonderful.

SM: And I don't know what else I do. I also, I was on the board for Habitat for Humanity, but the bigger group kind of was going to squash us out so we decide- we talked to a lawyer and we had built three houses and the income is still coming. And so, in order to keep the moneys here in the county because they were raised here with the idea that they would help people here, we got the, got that, ourselves dissolved rather than have to turn the money over to international and have it go someplace else. And so we have another - it's another group called 'Housing, Inc'. I think, Housing Incorporated and the moneys that are still coming in from the mortgages from Habitat -are you familiar with how that works?

SG: Yeah.

SM: We use that for providing oil for the people, the three families that have gotten buildings. I think we have four- the four we had built, we try to keep their buildings heated because of the high price-

SG: -Yeah

SM: - of oil so each of those. And some of the moneys goes for that and then other organizations. We've helped the shelter - the Sister Mary O’Donnell shelter. We've helped them with projects that they needed to get improved and -

SG: Great!

SM: Its an organization that can apply for a grant and and so I'm still on that board. On the RCIA in the parish -that's, that's the education, christian, for adult education. And then I am on the the this through this book. This thing about, because I'm on the team to do retreats which are called ACTS and its based on the Acts of the Apostles- how they gathered together. And ACTS - it's an acronym that stands for adoration, community, theology and service. Those are the four aspects of the retreat and the course of the retreat and its, its struck- I don't know, have you ever heard of Cursillo movement?

SG: No.

SM: No. Cursillo is -also there's a non Catholic segment so I thought maybe you might have any- Cursillo is an organization that developed in Mexico. It's a Mexican name and it's a, its a spiritual retreat in which you- in the course of that time you review all of your religious faith and , but it's something that's personal. And then there were people men who had made Cursillo and they - once you make it, you’ve made it. And well, they have little follow up meetings and prayer, sharing things. They wanted something more and so they devised this ACTS retreat and so it follows from the Cursillo but it it emphasized the community aspect so that we - as each time we have a retreat, there's a whole new group of people. It's like building the church from the beginning with the acts of the apostles. You know how they preached. They went out and preached after-

SG: Yeah.

SM: -Jesus died

SG: [-?-]

SM: So we had over one hundred women in the county that have made this retreat. You do not have to be Catholic to make it. You have to know it is based on the Catholic religion so if you ever want to make one, your you

SG: Wow, that sounds-

SM: You'd, you would be welcome.

SG: Well, thank you!

SM: But we've had one non- Catholic make it, but she's more Catholic than she even knows. (laughter) She really is. I know her, she's a personal friend of mine. I was so thrilled when I heard that she was coming to make it. I, I've got to get in touch with her because I haven't seen her for a long time.

SG: (laughter)

SM: But anyway, she's a doctor at -what do you call it? You talking about your diet thing- she works with people need that kind of a diet.

SG: Oh, OK. The gluten free-

SM: The gluten free yeah. Then she highly recommends that that diet for anybody and I’m trying I've been reading about it for so long. I wanted I really think it will solve a lot of problems (laughter) for me-

SG: Wow.

SM: -personally.

SG: It certainly has for me.

SM: Yeah so, but anyway. With the retreat, I started, I -part of my talk from the beginning I end up as a - I'm a spiritual director on the retreat. And that, that and so I ended up, I made every single retreat that we've had. I made the first one and then I was asked to be on the next one and everyone since.

SG: Ha!

SM: For the women and, but as being a spiritual director, you end up giving a talk about spiritual direction and sacraments or theology. Either one or the other. And, in the course of my talk, I share my story about Beatrice that I shared with you.

SG: Yeah.

SM: And somebody said you ought to write that, get it in a book. And I was taking a creative writing class through the learning center here in Presque Isle and my teacher up there – excuse me-

SG: No, its OK.

SM: My teacher up there encouraged me to write and she she would bring me things about mice so I would write more stories about Beatrice. And so I had enough to put together. So I was in the mall one day and I saw this book publishing company- it's monkey publishing- and so I called. I got the telephone number and I called him and the gentleman said he would meet me and I showed him my prayer journal -because that's where I'd written the original story. And then I also had some manuscripts of the stories I had written for my class. And I said, “what do you think about my you know publishing this?” “Is there, what would it entail?” So he told me that, he told me that he thought it would work. I don't know where my original drawings are - I did not do the art work. I know the girl who made the ACTS retreat actually did these.

SG: Wow.

SM: This is her picture here (shows me a copy of the book with the picture of the artist) in the back. Her name is Linda Ayotte and her sister is, lived in this parish and I kept looking at her during the retreat and I said, “You look familiar.” She said, “Well, you must know my sister Diana.” “Oh that's- (mutual laughter) Anyway, Diane has moved away, but anyway. So she didn't like my mouse story at the retreat and so she just quietly told me that it bothered her and she told me why -there was a personal experience that she had. And so I said, “Well, that's OK.” I said, but I've always liked mice and she said the lesson is good- she liked the lesson. So I, and I told her that somebody had suggested that- do the book, but I said, “I've got some artwork, but I'm not satisfied; its very primitive.” And so she said, “Well, why don't you bring it out and show it to me?” So I did. And she said, “Well you gotta do this, you got to have perspective, you got...” She's ticking off these things. I said, “OK, Holy Spirit said to me-

SG: (laughter)

SM: -this is the girl whose going to write, do your artwork so she did- (mutual laughter)

SG: (unintelligible phrase)

SM: She did the artwork for me and she writes in here and this is cute - she says the experience has been therapeutic for her and desensitized her. She told me that she didn't like the mice and overcoming her fear of mice and “developed her God given talent of art. It also served as a purging of blocked emotions and feelings. She's proud and grateful for God's graces in giving her the courage and confidence to pursue this endeavor. She's also very proud of the fact that God used her as an instrument to increase Sister Mary’s virtue of patience.”

SG: (laughter)

SM: Because every week I'd call her up. “How many pictures did you get done?” And she'd say, “Patience.” (mutual laughter) “I probably only have one done.” (mutual laughter) So she had to put that in there.

SG: Oh, that's wonderful.

SM: Yeah, so anyway. This was done with the purpose of raising money for scholarships so because I was finding people that couldn't afford to go to that retreat, but they needed it or they're-

SG: Well, yeah.

SM: -for the heartaches they were going through and so I was in a position to say

Side one of the tape ends mid sentence

'The Revised Nun Files' - Questions for my Oral History Interview

Well I am getting ready for my overnight trip for my interview. I am headed to the Canada border so it will be fun and all sorts of things. I am hoping to meet a few new online friends and classmates and even meet my favorite teacher. With the feedback I got from friends and other classmates as well as my esteemed professor, here are the new questions. :)

List of questions shared by both the ‘new’ and the ‘experienced’

1. Tell me a little about yourself. (Where were you born? How many siblings did you have? What did your parents do for a living?)

2. What was your religion growing up? What church, if any, did you attend?
Did you attend a Catholic school when you were growing up and how did that influence you?

3. How were religious holidays (Christmas, etc.) celebrated in your family? Did your family have special traditions?

4. What stood out to you about the church as a child? Did you sing in the choir or do any other church activities?

5. What role did the church play in your life as a child? What role in your community did the church play?

6. Do you remember your confirmation as a child? What can you remember about it?

7. What do you remember your father telling you about religion? Your mother?

8. At what age did you decide you wanted to become a Nun? Did you always have a sense that you would become a nun/sister or did the notion come as a surprise to you?

9. Were your family/friends surprised that you became a nun/sister or did they tell you they knew or could tell this is what you would be? Has anyone else in your family become a nun, a priest or a monk?

10. Did anyone try to dissuade you from becoming a Nun?

11. Who was most supportive of your vocation? Who was the least supportive and why?

12.What was the process like of becoming a nun? What things needed to be accomplished?

13. How did you choose your order and what order are you affiliated with?

14. Have you ever lived in a convent and what was that experience like?

15. What particular spiritual practice is most important to you in your walk with the Lord and why?

16. Can you describe for me what your typical day looks like in your vocation?
Can you describe what a typical year looks like in your vocation? Is there such a thing?

17. What delights/surprises you about being a nun/sister?

18. What has been your most rewarding experience in religious life?

19. Have you ever experienced something that made you re-evaluate your vocation? How did you overcome that experience?

20. Some people think that the vow of poverty is one of the most difficult vows… what do you think about that? Do you have an experience wherein you really felt the weight of this particular vow?

21. How is the ‘church’ today different from what it was like when you were a child? (if this question is pertinent)

22. Is the church asking or getting enough of women’s religious views on Church related issues. Do you think there needs to be a change?

23. What one piece of advice would you give to someone considering a vocation as a nun/sister that you wish someone would have told you when you were first considering the vocation?

24. Have you ever been to the Vatican? What was that experience like?

Questions for the more experienced nun

1. How is being a nun/sister for you today different/the same from being a nun/sister in the past?

2. How has your order had to change in the last 50 years to keep the viability of your mission alive in the Church?

3. How have your views on your vocation changed through your experience?

4. Can you discuss the hierarchy of the church here in Maine? How has it changed over time?

5. The church has gone through numerous changes over the past few decades - for instance, it was not until 1983 that girls were allowed to be altar servers, before it was only altar boys.  Also, at one point, only men were allowed to be Eucharistic Ministers, but now women can play that role.  What do you think of these changes?
Do you agree or disagree… and how have they affected your practice?

6. There is a thought among some church members that nuns and priests should be allowed to marry… what are your thoughts on this touchy issue?

7. There seems to be fewer priests and nuns than there were compared to 20+ years ago? Do you agree with the generalization… and how does this change your job? Does it make it more difficult… and how? Also, are you able to give me figures on how many nuns and priests service Aroostook County/ Maine now… as opposed to when you first started?


I am getting pretty excited about this and the idea of a little travel sounds excellent! So we shall see how things go! :)

'The Nun Files' - Questions for my Oral History Interview

So, I have finished my questions for my oral history interview and I think I have been lucky enough to have a volunteer. :) I wanted to post my questions here and see if anyone has more questions that they think I should add or they have an interest in. (For full disclosure, I came up with a few of these questions on my own and others I found through research and asking people at school.) The interview will be with a fairly 'new' nun... and a nun who has been in her vocation for a few decades. So here they are... and please give me your thoughts!

List of questions shared by both the ‘new’ and the ‘experienced’

1. Tell me a little about yourself.

2. What was your religion growing up? What church, if any, did you attend?

3. How were religious holidays (Christmas, etc.) celebrated in your family? Did your family have special traditions?

4. What do you remember your father telling you about religion? Your mother?

5. At what age did you decide you wanted to become a Nun?

6. Did you always have a sense that you would become a nun/sister or did the notion come as a surprise to you?

7. Were your family/friends surprised that you became a nun/sister or did they tell you they knew or could tell this is what you would be?

8. Did anyone try to dissuade you from becoming a Nun?

9. Who was most supportive of your vocation? Who was the least supportive and why?

10. How did you choose your order?

11. What particular spiritual practice is most important to you in your walk with the Lord and why?

12. Can you describe for me what your typical day looks like in your vocation?

13. What delights/surprises you about being a nun/sister?

14. What has been your most rewarding experience in religious life?

15. Have you ever experienced something that made you re-evaluate your vocation? How did you overcome that experience?

16. Some people thing that the vow of poverty is one of the most difficult vows… what do you think about that? Do you have an experience wherein you really felt the weight of this particular vow?

17. How is the ‘church’ today different from what it was like when you were a child? (if this question is pertinent)

18. Is the church asking or getting enough of women’s religious views on Church related issues. And where do you think they could or need to make changes?

19. What one piece of advice would you give to someone considering a vocation as a nun/sister that you wish someone would have told you when you were first considering the vocation?

Questions for the more experienced nun

1. How is being a nun/sister for you today different/the same from being a nun/sister in the past?

2. How has your order had to change in the last 50 years to keep the viability of your mission alive in the Church?

3. How have your views on your vocation changed through your experience?

Feedback please! :)

Rape: The Continuing Quest for a Gender Neutral World

Abstract - While many words have one or two definitions, the term 'rape' will vary in some of its meanings depending on what words it is with or even in what state, country, or culture the word is then defined- almost all languages have a word for 'rape'. The most basic definition of the term can be stated as follows: “the act of non-consensual sexual penetration of the body using physical force or the threat of bodily harm.” While this definition is gender neutral- the commission of rape is not and the unfortunate victims of this crime are overwhelmingly female. Rape is not a problem that is limited to certain cultures or even certain situations and environments. Truly, rape is a global endemic problem that must be dealt with before any human being can hope to live in a less violent, unequal world. This paper has a few key aims and will discuss what rape is and its consequences for men, women, children, culture and society. It will also discuss why rape is a common practice, what can be done to try and change the risks and acceptance of rape, and will then juxtapose two countries (Nigeria and the United States- one “developing” and one “developed”) to compare statistics, culture, education and resources. This paper will then end with suggestions for change to start to minimize the incidence of rape.


The most basic definition of rape is “the act of non-consensual sexual penetration of the body using physical force or the threat of bodily harm.” To further explain rape and some of the environments that facilitate its use as a tool against another person, those individuals adept at defining this act will use terms such as 'date rape', 'marital rape', 'stranger rape', 'acquaintance rape' or even 'opportunistic rape', 'genocidal rape', 'political rape', 'incest', and 'forced concubinage'. Each of these terms above describe the same act of rape as defined in the basic definition listed above, but also give the respondent more information about the perpetrator and/or environment of the rape. The definition of these terms are listed below.

1. date rape – a rape that occurs in the context of a planned or spontaneous date.

2. marital rape – also known as 'wife rape': a rape that occurs in the context of a marital and sexual relationship.

3. stranger rape – a rape in which the assailant is a stranger to the victim.

4. acquaintance rape – a rape by an assailant the victim knows or is related to, but is not dating.

5. statutory rape – is sexual intercourse with individuals under the age of consent or individuals that are unable to consent such as physically and mentally incapacitated persons.

6. opportunistic rape – a rape that is facilitated by taking immediate advantage of any circumstance for your benefit to the detriment of others, such as “when combatants of the police or soldiers run amok and resort to rape in areas of intermittent civil disobedience.” The term 'war rape' would fit in this category. Opportunistic rape takes place when combatants run amok, assured of impunity in a lawless context.

7. genocidal rape – a rape where the goal of the aggressors is to destroy or inflict harm on the victim's group calculated to bring about the group's destruction. In genocide, the identity of the perpetrator is essential. The woman (and by extension, her group) must know not simply that the atrocity occurred, but who was responsible for it. Genocidal rape seeks to destroy an ethnic or political group perceived as being the enemy.

8. political rape – an act of rape that is used to change power structure and politics. Victims of political rape tend to be close family members of political participants, female party volunteers or supporters. It is a tool used by the perpetrators to hurt men (in areas of the world where women are seen as property) and to force change to the goals and interests of political groups – this tends to cause a politically violent environment. Political rape punishes individuals, families, or communities who hold different political views.

9. incest - The rape or consensual sexual act taking place between a male and female who are so closely linked by blood or affinity that such activity is prohibited by law and/or tradition. Some groups of people that would fit into this category include parent and child, brother and sister, uncle and niece, or aunt and nephew, and first cousins. Also, sexual relations are also frequently prohibited among individuals who are related by half-blood, including brothers and sisters and uncles and nieces of the half-blood. The term incest can include individuals that are old enough to provide consent, but is also used to describe the relationship and rape of a family member that is unable to consent due to age or does not consent but is forced by physical force or threat of harm.

10. forced concubinage - Forced concubinage involves the conscription or kidnapping of young girls to wash, cook, porter and have sex with soldiers and militiamen. This is a form of sexual enslavement not be confused with the historical usage of voluntarily illicit sexual relations between a man and women that could be financially or politically supportive to the female and/or her family.

These definitions are all very clear, but can be reworded, gender specific or treated as non-existent depending on where in the world you are. While developed countries are more likely to see rape is a crime and punish the offenders, many developed countries (and states within the United States) see some forms of rape as “less serious” than others. For example, only twenty US states have laws with no exceptions for marital rape. Developing countries may have few laws against rape and those that do may not have the political will or resources to punish rape offenders. Also, countries may have many definitions of rape that can be utilized by the powers that be that include federal, state, Sharia, and customary law- and which can lead to arbitrary decisions depending of the person who defines the crime and their perception of the seriousness of the crime. International law also has its own definitions of what “rape” actually entails. The Rome Statute defines rape in Article 7(1)(g) of the Elements of Crimes from 1998 states:

1. “The perpetrator invaded the body of a person by conduct resulting in penetration, however slight, of any part of the body of the victim or of the perpetrator with a sexual organ, or of the anal or genital opening of the victim with any object or any other part of the body.

2. The invasion was committed by force, or by threat of force or coercion, such as that caused by fear of violence, duress, detention, psychological oppression or abuse of power, against such person or another person, or by taking advantage of a coercive environment, or the invasion was committed against a person incapable of giving genuine consent."

Most international courts agree that rape is a human rights violation, torture, and can be a war crime.

No matter the definition of the rape, all people can agree with few exceptions that many types of rape behavior are rape and are unacceptable as such... whether they fit the exact definition or not. Rape is a crime that has been shown and well documented to cause many personal and societal difficulties. Victims of sexual assault can suffer severe physical pain and/or psychological pain and suffering. These can include reproductive consequences such as death, unwanted pregnancies, complications in childbirth, sexually transmitted infections including HIV/AIDS. Emotional mental concerns that stem from sexual assault can be insomnia, low self esteem, feelings of guilt and of being ashamed, depression, substance abuse, social isolation and communication and trust difficulties. Societal difficulties can include lost work time and education, more utilization of medical benefits and unplanned pregnancies, higher rates of disability and/or trauma, and other social problems. Women in certain countries and cultures have the added burden that being raped can lead to their murder, forced suicide or marriage, and social disgrace for their entire family. If the woman becomes pregnant, she may not only find she has many of the formerly mentioned problems, but now has the added burden of attempting to find an abortion provider if that is her choice. In some countries where abortion is legal, there may be less difficulty in finding a provider, but in many countries in the developing world unsafe abortions can constitute a serious public health-care problem and can often end in reproductive complications and death.

Rape is an act that is both personal and social. While rape can be performed and forced onto either gender, it is a crime that is predominately forced onto the female gender. Rape also doesn't discriminate by age either... and a three year old child or a 90 year old woman are both at risk for rape. The most common rape victims are females between 15 and 21 years of age and in the Unites States, 83% of rape cases that are reported show the victims as 24 years old or younger. Accurate statistics on the number of rapes per country is difficult to obtain for a few reasons: the social stigma of being raped discourages women from reporting the sexual assault and discrimination by the law, police and rape services can penalize the victim as well as cause more psychological damage to her. This is an act that harms women... and in turn their families and children, communities, and society as a whole.

So all of these statements beg the question of why rape at all? Why is rape tolerated and accepted in all parts of the world... or at the minimum ignored? If women make up half of the world's population, why do they carry the brunt of sexual assault, violence and rape (as well as do two-thirds of the work)? What are the benefits to a society that does not punish its offenders? The answers are not easy to define... or even decide which causal event is the most important. The answers seem to lie in culture and tradition, education (or lack thereof), fear, misogyny by both genders and political/system/governmental failure.

Culture and Patriarchal tradition have been in place and followed in many countries for hundreds of years. So while several societies in many ways have grown to value women bring to a society and have worked to give women many basic human rights (they are no longer considered male property in all countries for instance), violence against women in all countries can start before birth. Female fetuses are aborted by some because of their gender as some cultures prefer male children. Some cultures require female circumcision, a practice that can leave women maimed, traumatized and reproductively impaired- sometimes death to the women and if not, her future children are also at risk. Some cultures also promote early marriage which forces female children into marriage before they are mature enough physically, emotionally or mentally. And women in all countries are at a higher risk for domestic violence and sexual assault as they grow older. As males and females are born and grow in their cultures, many women find that their culture contains customs that are harmful to their well being. Males can grow up believing that women have a lower status or are inferior than men. They can also grow up hearing messages that males are 'superior', they 'own' women and women's bodies, and men are 'entitled' to or have a 'right' to sex. These messages help teach both men and women that women do not deserve equal treatment which in turn promotes gender-based violence and inequality. Some traditions require that females who have been violated must be killed to allow the family to retain their 'stolen' honor. Others require suicide on the part of the female and in still others, raped women may be chased out of their families to try and find their way in the world alone without the family's protection. And in some cultures, women become partners with perpetrators, luring women to be raped and physically harmed in the hopes that they will not be raped or harmed themselves- they become part of the problem, not the solution. Some cultures and societies teach misogyny so well that women themselves can become the major abusers of women, although men are more likely to rape. Women in these cultures can come to believe that there are 'bad' and inferior' and they deserve the abuse and poor treatment they receive from men and women alike.

Education is an essential element of gender violence and rape. There appears to be a correlation between education and rape in some studies and surveys. In one study published in 2003, Lochner and Moretti showed that just getting men to graduate from high school reduced their chances of participation in most criminal behavior including murder, but slightly increased their chances of rape. It was not clear if that was because as women became more educated, they were also more likely to report the crime. Other groups have found other factors that contribute to the high incidence of rape which were: parent absenteeism, childhood trauma, bullying and deeply embedded misogyny. Other risk factors can be alcohol and substance use. A lack of education has shown a higher incidence of sexually transmitted infections including HIV/AIDS for both men and women which causes problems for both genders with physical and reproductive health which can include death. Possibly due to rape as well as prostitution and illicit sex, HIV infections are higher in many areas for women where rape is more chaotic and prevalent. Barroso mentions that many women actually contract HIV after they are married in Africa where they are more likely to marry not from choice and are at risk for violence and exploitation. She also states “Women and girls bear a disproportionate and increasing share of the suffering caused by the (AIDS) epidemic. Migration, inter-generational sex between young females and older men, coerced sexual relations including rape, lack of economic opportunities, low education levels, and cultural attitudes all contribute to the spread of HIV/AIDS among women and girls.” Education for women helps dispel unnecessary fear from myths and allows women to make more choices that benefit them in their present... maybe helping them to have a safer future. Kristof and WuDunn interviewed Mahdere Paulos, a woman who runs the Ethiopian Women Lawyers Association. She states “Empowering women begins with eduction.”

Legal tradition in patriarchal societies has always favored the male gender and therefore most rapists as well. Amnesty International points out that current legislation in some areas of the world may actually penalize the rape victim and not the perpetrator. A coordinator for a gender activist group, Nhlanhla Mokoena said that the “law is on the side of perpetrators [of rape], rather than of the side of [rape] survivors." In some areas of the world, rape is used by the police and government as an interrogation technique to force confessions in the accused and even as a form of bail. How can rape survivors go to the police if they know there is a good chance that they will be re-victimized? Many countries including the US have instances where rapists were never charged or were offered plea deals for other forms of violence that allowed the offenders to escape punishment for the rape. Exceptions to rape law appear to be the 'rule', not exceptions in many cases. Even where laws are in place, if there is not the political will to prosecute offenders, there is no disincentive for rapists to stop their behavior. And some women have discovered that standing up for themselves and telling people of the violence and rape not only causes problems from the original perpetrators. Some victims may get pressure to remain quiet from many levels of government- sometimes up to the president of dictator themselves.

So how do many countries rate when it comes to protecting women? This is an impossible answer to be definitive about. Many countries do not keep rape statistics or other numbers that would help paint a picture of the true numbers of gender-based crime and rape. The countries that do collect statistics are aware that their numbers may be artificially low due to under-reporting, crime downgrading by police agencies, and ignorance by victims and medical agencies. While some forms of rape seem to be more common in 'developing nations' such as Nigeria, 'developed' nations such as the United States have their own forms of rape and the numbers for both countries on rape -where tabulated- are uncomfortably high.

Nigeria is a developing country in West Africa. It is the eighth most populous country in the world and the most populous country in which the majority of people are black. However, while Nigeria is a rising economic power, its records on human rights abuses- especially based on gender- is poor. Amnesty International has documented numerous instances of Nigerian police officers, both on and off duty, committing rape in many circumstances. It has also been documented that the Nigerian government does not punish perpetrators and doesn't offer rape victims any form of reparation. In 2002, a newspaper that frequently covers violence against women in Nigeria stated that they believe 4-6 girls and women are raped each day and the frequency of rape is increasing. They also reported that families are often intimidated and harassed into dropping criminal charges. In an editorial in September 2010, PMNews wrote: “Daily, newspapers and magazines are replete with horrible tales of rape. No gender is left out but the regular victims include female teenagers, housewives, female children and even female toddlers, not forgetting young boys who are sodomized for fetish reasons and sometimes for pleasure.... Punishment for rape is too lenient in Nigeria... According the the Child Rights Law in Nigeria (31(2) enacted by the federal government in May 2003, anyone convicted for rape is liable to life imprisonment. But nobody seems to be enforcing the law. Thus women and girls continue to be raped and molested.” Bisi Olateru-Olagbegi & Biola Akiyode Afolabi, in December 2004 wrote about rape and Nigerian courts. They state: “The manner in which rape trials are conducted and the nature of evidence required exposes the woman victim to indignity, making it a man’s trial, but a woman’s tribulation. In our criminal justice system, the burden of proof rests with the prosecution and guilt must be established beyond reasonable doubt. However in practice the victim is required to prove that she did not consent to rape. Quite often, medical evidence will show that the victim was raped but failure to provide ‘corroboration” will jeopardize the prosecution’s case. The requirement of penetration to prove rape cases which though is not part of the definition of rape but has been used over the years in decided cases has also denied women victims of rape the deserved justice from the law courts. It has been suggested that the law needs to be redefined and the Evidence Act amended.” Sokari states,”In Nigeria 20-40% of young girls are forced into marriage and the majority of those take place amongst Northern Muslims under Sharia Law.” The penal code in Nigeria also helps to condone child rape because sexual intercourse with a child is legal if you are married to her and she has obtained puberty- menstrual period is the usually used indicator. So the crime of child rape can easily be dismissed if the 'child' can be proved to have had a menstrual cycle... and becomes a rape against an adult which is under-prosecuted, under-reported, and easily dismissed if the family forces the child to marry her rapist. A survey done in Nigeria reported that 17% of Nigerian women said that they had endured rape or attempted rape by the time they had turned nineteen.

The United States is a developed country in North America. It is the third largest and populous country in the world and is one of the world's most ethnically diverse and multicultural nations. The United States is the largest national economy. It has many legally protected human rights and took a leading role in the drafting of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights in December 1948. However, the United States has been criticized over the last several years for human rights violations and for actively attempting to undermine the Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court. The United States does try and keep fairly good records and documentation of rape statistics so as a society we can have a better picture of the actual numbers of victims. However, it must be pointed out again that rape is an under-reported crime so the numbers do not necessarily reflect the actual number of rapes in the country. It is estimated that one out of every three women will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime and that the United States has the world's highest rape rate globally of the countries that actually collect and publish the data. According to 'Cease', in the United States, 1.3 women are raped every minute. That results in 78 rapes each hour, 1872 rapes each day, 56160 rapes each month and 683,280 rapes each year. It is also thought that only 16% of all rapes are ever reported to the police. According to the Justice Department, about 81% of rape victims are white, 18% are black, and 1% are of other races. It can also be shown that rape on college campuses is rarely punished by the state or the college in question – or the punishment doesn't really 'fit the crime'. Some groups are even starting to try and track evidence of 'serial rapists' on college campuses and how a rapist can become a serial rapist... because the offender rarely has serious consequences and rarely gets caught.

From looking at the statistics and the information given by NGO's, I few similarities and differences appear to me when placing the data about Nigeria and the Unites States side by side. First, both countries have large statistics of rape although some forms of rape look like they are more common in Nigeria and some may be more common in the United States. Both countries really need to look at ways of reducing the incidence of rape. While in many cases the United States does prosecute more offenders of rape, as a society, women are still discriminated against and considered inferior. On 11/17/20, the United States Senate wasn't able to pass the Paycheck Fairness Act so American women will continue to still be paid less for their work- even when they are doing the same work as a male counterpart. So while the United States should take pride in its attempts to help women and work toward gender equality, failure to pass laws that require gender neutrality keep a society unequal and the individuals that 'appear' to be inferior will be more likely to have to deal with violence and rape. Rape is common in both the 'developed' and the 'developing' world. Both countries have exceptions to rape laws that allow some forms of rape to go mostly unpunished. Both countries have areas of entitlement when it comes to rape- an area or circumstance that makes the offender very likely to get away with the crime and to cause more injury to the victim. Both countries show some tolerance for rape, although it appears that Nigeria, due to a more sexist culture, has more tolerance for rape and its perpetrators. The United States has hundreds of resources for rape education and for the victims of rape and with legal human right's laws, women have a better chance of getting help after the rape than the victims in Nigeria... and that their rapists will be prosecuted. It appears that except for NGO's, Nigeria has few resources that rape victims can use to help or protect themselves.

The answers to reduce the risk for rape are easy to say, but far harder to accomplish. In the United States, sex education and self defense classes help teach women how to defend themselves from attack. Education in families and communities that enlightens men to the risk towards women and help teach both males and females when they are young about gender equality help make the smallest baby steps towards change. Even small forms of education can make a big difference. Talking about the common rape myths (women encourage rape, men can't control themselves, etc...) and why they are incorrect can help individuals to really look at their thoughts on gender, equality, and rape. Rape-Awareness workshops can also help people learn about rape and its concerns- in one survey from a workshop, both college men and women were asked separately what steps each of them takes each day to protect themselves from being sexually assaulted or raped. The forms were then passed around and this exercise showed that men do not do anything to protect themselves from rape that is out of the ordinary, but women do many things. This exercise helps to educate men to be aware of the extra steps women need to take to protect themselves and when questioned after the exercise, most of the men said that they had not been aware of the steps that women routinely take to avoid sexual assault. Some groups, such as Mentors in Violence Prevention, do visualization exercises where all male groups are given a pretend scenario where a women they care about is being raped with a bystander nearby. They are then asked to try and imagine how the women felt and how they felt about the bystander who did nothing. The scenarios are then changed as some of the men talk turns being the bystander themselves, changing their viewpoint of the situation. Men play a very important part in rape prevention by helping to reduce the occurrence of rape, helping to change situations where rape might occur or stopping a rape in progress, and helping to change the attitudes of other males that may lead to rape. A MS magazine study of 7000 students at 35 universities over a three year period show that “one in twelve men admitted to having fulfilled the prevailing definition or rape or attempted rape, yet virtually none of those men considered themselves rapists”. This study suggests that men need education on rape awareness because you must understand it, to try and stop it. Also, culture change must happen so that as a culture, we stop looking for excuses for the victim to have some responsibility for her assault. Amy Nicholson in a blog post states “A woman’s body is not a security risk. A woman’s body is not an unsecured fire, a wallet peeking out of a back pocket. A woman who wants to go to the toilet unaccompanied is not an invitation to a violent criminal, and the longer it is treated as such the more regularly attacks like this will be blamed on the victim.... Make the perpetrator, not the victim, the focus of your response.” Placing more emphasis on the offender and not on blaming the victim is one of the thought processes that needs to be changed to make rape a more rare occurrence.

Rape is a crime that harms more than the victim. It causes harm to the perpetrator, the families of both and the surrounding communities. Sexual violence is not a solution to many problems and causes many problems that can take decades if ever to fix. Mohamoud Fathalla once stated: “Women are not dying because we cannot treat them. They are dying because societies are yet to make decision that their lives are worth saving.” It is the same with rape.