2011 Poetry Corner # 3 : The Journey of Recovery

Why so many challenges
I think as I fall
The fall doesn't hurt
The impact breaks all

I struggle to stand
The earth starts to shift
My heart feels torn
My mind feels adrift

How to recover – I do not know
This massive pain
Will it help me grow?

As I recover and life goes on...
Will I feel safe?
Will I ever feel strong?

I will stand up and try to pray
To think nice thoughts throughout the day
And watch for the light that shows the way
To charity, to life, to love secure
All I need is to but endure.

The Joy of Ducks.....

Yesterday, I found a beautiful duck feather in my yard. Even though I have ducks, I rarely see beautiful feathers. When they molt the feathers are tired and worn and the beautiful feathers tend to easily be blown away. But yesterday, I found a beautiful one just as it dropped off my Khaki Campbell named Opal.

There is just an innate beauty in feathers to me. They are soft, smell nice and feel 'warm'. There is something earthy and wonderful about them – I sometimes feel like I can feel the sun radiating out from the light fibers. I do not know if I feel that way because I just love ducks in general or if feathers themselves bring these thoughts to mind. I will admit that I am totally partial to birds, but ducks are really amazing to me. I can feel my heart lift as I watch them waddle across the yard and ducks have the most amazing personalities. Don't get me wrong, other birds have personalities and we have had some chickens whose personality sparkles.... but almost all ducks I have ever had the privilege of sharing space with just seem to bubble and shine and I guess remind me of my own personality.

The find of loose feathers reminds me that spring is here. That the earth is ready to grow and this is a time of growth for me too. What I do now and the choices I make will effect my 'harvest' in the fall. Have I been successful or on the way to successful with the goals I made in January? Am I preparing myself appropriately for the choices that I have? In the end, as I watch my ducks rejoice in my yard for the earth's renewal, they are teaching me. They remind me that trouble should fall off of me like water falls off a duck's back.... that humor is necessary for so many situations in life and makes things easier... and that the interactions with the creatures of the earth may be some of the most fulfilling interactions outside of family. Their enthusiasm for life and joy in the present moment are examples that I think many human beings- including myself- need reminding of on a constant basis.

This is a very snotty thought, but I feel very sorry for people who do not have the opportunity to be 'enslaved' by ducks. It is a wonderful blessing in my life! :)

A Body-Altering Experience...

I had a body altering experience today. It's still amazing to me that life can really in a matter of seconds alter and twist in such a way that the path you were on has disappeared.... a little like Alice on a path in wonderland with that cartoon broom that sweeps away the path and you find yourself standing in one spot... unsure of where to go, not sure of what your choices are... and recognizing that the longer you stand there is actually a choice in itself. Indecision truly is a decision.

But instead of a mind altering decision, I found a quick way to alter my body structure. I was standing talking to my husband when my son jumped from the top of a calf hutch onto my back. He thought it was fairly funny – my son that is. But I caught him on my shoulders and neck. I am not sure what sound exited my mouth but it wasn't happy. I think it was the quickest way I could have found to totally alter my spinal column and still be able to laugh about it later. So I am going to spend the rest of the day in bed on an ibuprofen high and think about the fun morning I had with Bug... and not follow through on my other plans today. It only took about four minutes to realize that a massive migraine was coming and I was going to be hurting quick.

It feels like I just had a baby a few years ago,.. and now my baby is nine years old, 60 lbs and about 4 ½ feet tall. I am 5'6” and 120lbs.... so my son at his age is almost bigger than me and the games that used to be fun when he was three are really not as much fun. But the glory of life is in the living and in the life changing events that remind us that life isn't for the weak of heart and spirit. While my day is not ending the way I thought it would, it is a good day. I hope it is for all of us.

Comparing Society and Culture... to a Tootsie Pop!

So my teacher gave me a fun assignment that I thought I would post here and see what other people thought. The first paragraph will contain the definitions of society, culture and personality/the individual. The next is the fun part! :)

This one is tough to really work out in my head and explain- at least satisfactorily to me! Society refers to the idea that we live among other people who have some forms of power to permit us to do some things and stop us from doing others. Culture is defined as the intellectual influences that enable us to see some possible avenues of behavior and refuse to do or see other ideas... and personality is the individual response to the cultural and societal influences around us and how we individually interpret these avenues and expectations and conduct ourselves accordingly- or not based on our own decision making, learned or innate cues, etc... These three terms (society, culture and personality) describe separate ideas that in some ways can be teased out separately from the other two terms. Yet, like triplets, while they are separate entities, each of these terms describes ideas and behavior that are interwoven together and so... they cannot totally be separated except on a vague and less informative basis. Society and culture can help define people and even how they see themselves, but personality can change and mold culture... which can change society. Or personalities can change social 'expectations' and in doing so change the larger picture of culture and society. So each of these ideas clash and mesh depending on different factors.

OK- know for the fun!

I first have to admit... that I didn't do the tootsie pop or blow pop eating exercise. I know of very little candy that is gluten free so I didn't even think of risking it. But... I will give it a shot! I must also admit that the most jarring and significant quote from this week's reading was in chapter four and was 'statistics don't bleed'. Gosh, how true is that! Only emotions- whether positive or negative can truly convey the feelings behind statistics. Truly, a number is nothing much by itself toward understanding.

But back to the tootsie pop. The outer candy shell would remind me of culture and society. The color and flavor would stand for culture and the sugar and sweetness would stand for society. When just glanced over, there almost doesn't appear to be a difference between the two and when licked, you might only separate them slightly. The flavor of strawberry might be separate in your mind from the 'sweet'- only if you are mindfully licking of course. :) This candy shell is thick and you might be very tempted to just eat the shell and throw the middle... or the individual away. Also, you can buy many different colors or cultures and so flavors and levels of sweetness may vary. But while the individual tastes different and looks different... it adds the best perspective on the lollipop or culture itself. For the culture and society can change, but the variety and diversity of the individual remains the same- high quality, long lasting and memorable. But neither the culture or the society would be interesting without each other. The flavor of culture is bitter without sugar... and the sweetness of society is frankly boring without diversity. The individual brings out the flavor and sweetness of the culture/society... and makes it worth living in. Also , as the individual is different it is flexible... in ways that society and culture may not be. Only through the flexibility of the middle or the individual... can the culture or society change.


It is so important to understand how these groups or ideas work together to present a complex picture of diversity, beauty and tastiness that give us a true picture and understanding of the whole- which raises the value and importance of the information to us. Otherwise, we might be tempted to ignore or not 'eat' the information as we will be ignorant of the joys and knowledge that can be found in the patient lick, lick, lick of information to get us to the most knowledgeable and interesting core.


So what do you think? Would you describe it differently? How so... and do you agree with my analogy or to simplistic. Be creative and have fun!

2010 Poetry Corner # 8 - "Genealogy"

Why am I so obsessed with dying?
Why do my senses seem to yearn
toward the animals and people whose
souls are no longer fully here?

Some Snapshots of Life on Gondwana

Gondwana was one of two huge land masses on this planet hundreds of years ago. The first large land mass (Pangaea) split into two large super-continents and Gondwana was the more southern of the two. It included land from current-day Australia, South America and more and this mass was located mostly inside the Antarctic Circle. The climate there at the time of Gondwana was very different from the climate that we envision Antarctica having today. The polar regions were warmer (Earth as a whole was warmer during the Cretaceous Era) as deduced through studies of oxygen isotopes and types of plant life. And the very uneven distribution of the large land masses would have forced ocean air currents and seasonal winds to flow farther across the southern polar area than in our current-day which would have kept the water temperature warmer as well. In fact, some studies suggest that there were no ice caps and even some large forests that covered the land all the way to the South Pole. However, before we think of a beautiful almost perfect paradise, it must be remembered that while the surface of the Earth has changed over millions of years, the axis tilt of the earth has not changed and so this beautiful and not-quite-as-cold-as-we-had-imagined area would also have a polar night. (a period of darkness due to the earth's tilt away from the sun that can last weeks or months.) This would still make Gondwana an area that would make survival for the frail impossible- and even the hardy would have quite a challenge.

Studying history has been something that I have enjoyed for as long as I can remember. It became one of my favorite and easiest subjects at school and I have spent more hours than I can estimate of my life delving into the known facts and interpretation of someone else's life. Evolution, while I think considered a 'science only' by many, clearly is a way of seeing history as well- a history of the growth of life as it were. There are those that see evolution as a theory that stands against and opposes creationism... and therefore is false, evil and must be opposed by anyone that believes in Heavenly Father or a divine creator. I have never seen evolution in this light. In fact, the more I study it, the stronger my testimony of a brilliant, creative and loving Father becomes. My study of Gondwana was such a journey. Learning about the world and the rise and fall of some of the Father's great creations that came in their time and season and are now gone is a study of ourselves and our true worth. It was also a testimony to me of the knowledge that all of his creations- from dinosaurs to beasts to us- was clearly carefully planned and each of us is known to the Father.

So here is just a taste of what you can find it you start looking into the fauna that inhabited this world.... I have included images, but of course all of these images are educated guesses on what the creature actually looked like. I have also added clarification on how each animal got its name- an (*) means that they were named to honor those who found them and not using the typical Greek or Latin.

1. Koolasuchus (*)– This was a amphibian that lived on the part of Gondwana now known as Australia. It was carnivorous and fed on turtles, crayfish, and other prey. This particular animal is notable for two reasons: it was one of the largest of its class with a huge head compared to its weak body and limbs and it also managed to survive longer than most of its close relations who lived farther north. This animal could be 16 feet long but was only about one foot high. It could reach up to 1000 lbs so it must have been a very formidable predator in the water. It would have been not quite been as formidable on land as he would have been weaker and slower than most of the land inhabitants.

2. Cryolophosaurus (cold crest lizard) - This is the first carnivorous dinosaur to ever be discovered on the continent of modern day Antarctica. It is estimated to have been approx. 21 feet long and 1000 lbs. This dinosaur was very difficult to classify because it has some traits that are classified as primitive by paleontologists and it have some which are considered advanced. At one time it was considered the earliest known member of the Tetanuran group, but time and more study have suggested that this animal is more closely related to Dilophosaurus.

3. Muttaburrasaurus ( Muttaburra lizard ) - This dinosaur lived on the continent we now call Australia. It is related to Iguanodon and averaged around fifteen feet in height, twenty three feet in length, and 1-4 tons. It appears to have had the capability of moving on either all four legs or just the back two. Its food supply appears to have been mostly tough vegetation and it has a spiked thumb, which might have come in handy for threatening others or for something as silly as possibly picking debris from its teeth. At this stage, we don't know...


4. Mapusaurus (earth lizard) - These animals have remains that have been found in the land that is now known as Argentina and is related to the Giganotosaurus. This is a huge dinosaur by any standard with some specimens measuring over 40 feet in length and 3000 lbs. These were large meat hunters and debate is currently raging about whether these dinosaurs hunted in groups like wolves or alone or simply in a blundering mob. Because of large fossil finds of this dinosaur, some paleontologists are suggesting that only by having a social group of these animals could they have hunted huge prey such as Argentinosaurus- past theory has held that large meat eating dinosaurs lived and hunted alone.


5. Argentinosaurus (silver lizard) - This is a dinosaur that still remains much of a mystery as few fossils/bones have been found. Its continental place of residence is now known as South America. Estimates on body size are approx 100-125 feet long and 110 tons and have been made on these pieces as no complete dinosaur has been found. It is guessed to be the heaviest sauropod known to man currently. Its existence was only discovered in the 1990's.


6. Megaraptor (giant thief) – This dinosaur is mostly known for its huge one foot long claw that could be found on its hands. It has the most distinctive hand of any other animal in its scientific group and was fairly advanced for a animal living at its time. It could grow to approx 26 feet long, 13 feet tall, and was one of the smartest dinosaurs you could find. This probably made him a very, very dangerous predator. Fossils for it can be found on the continent of South America.


7. Dicynodon (double-dog tooth) – This guy is really cool because he only has two teeth. His canines are still there (and quite large I might add), but the rest of his teeth had developed into a rather thick bill/beak/mouth. So it looks like he had a horned mouth with two small tusks. It is guessed that he used his beak to eat vegetation rather like a turtle while using the tusks to possibly dig up roots from the ground. It averaged around 3 ½ feet in length and remains have been found in modern day South Africa, Russia, China, and Tanzania.

8. Rebbachisaurus (Rebbach lizard) - This dinosaur is a massive plant eater that is from the sauropod family- long neck, small head and a long tail. It is distinctive from its relations by an unusually tall,'ruffled' or ridged back. It seems to have lived in Northern Africa due to fossil concentrations there. They averaged 66 feet in length and were around 30 feet tall. Due to there size and from the fossil record, it is believed that they walked on all fours.

There are so many that are documented - the world was truly full of life at that time. But we as a race know so little about these creatures that came before us... and when it comes to the 'southern' dinosaurs and other fauna we know even less. Some of that is the fault of proximity. Living on the pieces of Laurasia, many paleontologists here naturally focus on the 'northern' animals. Our newspapers will put more focus on news that concerns the finds of fossils that are geologically closer. And our books do tend to focus on 'northern' dinosaurs so as kids grow up, we continue the cycle. If the dinosaurs they knew and played with while growing up were all 'northern' breeds, those will be the breeds that they know and are most exited and interested in introducing to their children. Some fault can also be placed on the idea that many southern dinosaurs are relatively new discoveries- last few decades- while there have been very new northern dinosaur discoveries recently.

I really enjoyed looking at these dinosaurs. I found some fun books that I really enjoyed looking at that I ordered from looking on-line (no one of seven local libraries had anything except for a passing glance on Gondwana and all the dinosaur books I could find didn't have even one 'southern' animal. If I hadn't stumbled across the poster that sent me on my search to discover Gondwana, I probably would have thought that I had a pretty good basic knowledge of prehistoric dinosaurs and animals. I now know that would be incorrect opinion.). I also managed to watch a few excellent BBC video documentaries (Walking with Monsters and Walking with Dinosaurs) on prehistory animals and they were 'spot on' - I really loved them and found myself enthralled watching the creatures living out a story line that was written today, but could easily have been the story of so many of the animals living then.

So this was a fun journey. A journey that I think I might continue in my spare time. I have found a new enthusiasm for prehistoric animals and their world than I have felt in a while. My enthusiasm combined with Bug's curiosity open the promise of a lot of fun with dinosaurs and prehistoric beasts for a while to come.

Learning about Gondwana...

I went and got my quarterly blood draw last week.  I actually have a good time getting that done most of the time because I tend to go alone and so it is like a little break from all my pressing responsibilities.  I can talk, eat a piece of candy, and even read a book if I wish.  You always have to check in first with Lois who is always so awesome and has the coolest office.  While she was helping me get all checked in this last week, I noticed a new large poster in her office.  It had the word 'Gondwana' in huge letters on the top and then lots of pictures of dinosaurs.  I hadn't any idea what the word meant... I knew it wasn't the name of a dinosaur that I had ever heard of (and Bug is getting pretty expert at those particular animals) and I thought that the name for the large land mass before the continents divided was Pangaea. So I decided to find out.

It turns out that Gondwana is the name of a large land mass... Just not the whole huge one piece land mass that is named Pangaea.  The mass that is now called Gondwana (and originally called Gondwanaland) was formed when the super-continent Pangaea fractured into two large and roughly equal pieces.  Gondwana is the southern piece that had the lands that are named Arabia, the india subcontinent, Antarctica, Australia, South America, Madagascar and New Zealand.  Most of these land masses have stayed in the southern hemisphere over the centuries, but Arabia and the Indian subcontinent have moved to the northern hemisphere. This is a very simplified version of a tale that took millions of years.    This continent began to form after Pangaea fractured during the Jurrasic era and it also began to fracture itself later in the same era.

Gondwana in its time was the continent to be on. It was teeming with prehistoric life and throughout its history, the animals and plants that inhabited it that were often very different from the animals and plants on the other land masses. There were a diversity of fish- forms of lungfish, ray-finned fishes and plants, but the diversity of dinosaurs is pretty astonishing. This land mass had some of the pretty well known dinosaurs (Stegosaurus, Triceratops, and Tyrannosaurus), but it also was home to many unique species that developed during and after the fracturing of Gondwana. Among those species that could only be found on this super-continent are Abelisaurus, Megaraptor, Giganotosaurus. Titanosaurs, Argentinosaurus, Mapusaurus, Muttaburrasaurus and Cryolophosaurus. And they are joined by the only dinosaur that has had remains found on the continent Antarctica which is Cryolophosaurus. (see pic)



While I was looking through pages of pages of documentation, I realized that most of the dinosaurs that I have heard of and are in the books most commonly found at the local library are 'Northern' Dinosaurs. While the dinosaurs and fauna from the northern land mass called Laurasia are very well known even to people who are not really interested in dinosaurs, most of the 'southern' species are unknown to a great portion of the world. However, this is changing. Places like Australia are becoming proud of their unique heritage and attempting to buy a toy T-Rex there can be quite a trial these days.

So I set out to find out about the inhabitants and the plants of Gondwana- it sounded like great fun and it was! What is so cool is that there is so much information about the world out there- more than any human could ever know- and it is all so fascinating and evidence in my mind of a divine plan and a brilliant, creative Father. What an amazing miracle life is- just brilliant, beautiful, peculiar and amazing!

Radiation and the Human Body

When I was in Washington state recently, I visited a museum that had a small section set up to talk about radiation.  I found it really interesting as I just haven't thought about it very much.  If I had, I think that I might have figured that I had a lower dose than the average individual.  After all, I live in a yurt, don't have running water and went at least five years without electricity- I only have one plug now so some have joked that I still don't have electricity.  I consider myself to, with few exceptions, be extremely healthy and until the last few years I ate really well- mostly organic, etc...  I used a radiation calendar at the museum and it estimated that my average was 362 millirems per year.  That didn't sound too bad except that the American average radiation exposure dose is 360 millirems....

It turns out that I have some risky behaviors that keep my radiation exposure at the average level.  It also seems that the world is more radioactive than I had ever imagined.  We live in a world filled with radiation- in the food we eat, in the water we drink... even in the air we breathe.  Half of an average person's exposure every year comes from natural sources.  The rest is all man made so to speak and can usually be separated into three separate categories; medical, commercial, and industrial.

Natural sources seem to be pretty much unavoidable.  The average person is exposed to 40 millirems of radiation from food and drink alone.  Drinking water (especially bottled water), bananas, carrots, red meat and beer are just a few examples of foods that emit radiation.  Any individual that breathes will get about 200 millirems of exposure from radon in the air.  Our bodies - these beautiful and unique temples that house our soul- carry approximately 240 millirems with us throughout our day.  So each of us is an organism that,  while needing to avoid exposure, actually gives off radiation and exposes those around us.  So one form of risky behavior that I engage in is sharing a bed with my husband. The radiation that we give off will give each of us a slightly higher radiation level than those who sleep alone. (Gives a new, positive perspective on being single, doesn't it?  : )

Out of the man made sources of radiation, medical testing really tops the list.  In the guise of caring for our bodies, we sometimes take a greater risk with them then we need to.  With the excuse of 'keeping up appearances' we get porcelain crowns on our teeth if they are needed. (For full disclosure, I have a crown and so I too, am "keeping up appearances".) So many medical tests these days use radioactive chemicals or machines to work. How many X-rays have you gotten in your lifetime? Do you have a pacemaker? When I was sick last year I spent so much time in radiology I am surprised that I don't glow (and on that subject.... maybe it's my husband who is at more risk by sleeping next to me! :D ) Ultrasounds, thyroid imaging and more are all big exposures.

Other ways that we expose would be through television, video game stations,  and computer usage.  If you are in any building with a smoke detector, use an airplane for travel, use luggage inspection at airports, or live within 50 miles of a coal burning electrical plant and/or.......... you are getting higher radiation exposure than those who do not.  Where you live in relation to altitude and sea level makes a difference as well.

Now, most doctors agree that radiation exposure causes cancer and that radiation exposure causes a weakened immune system. A research group studied the amounts of radiation in common medical procedures in 1980 and today – we get seven times more radiative exposure for diagnostic tests now than we did twenty years ago. A study that was just released in the last few days illustrates a disturbing trend in light of the former thought. The study looked at radiology trends for three years over five major healthcare markets. They found that one in ten adults under 64 years of age had in that period of time had a heart procedure/test involving radiation exposure. The biggest used test is called myocardial perfusion imaging (heart stress test) and it accounted for 74% of the procedures in this study. The next was heart cauterization and stents. I am sure that many of these tests were necessary. But I do question whether we are giving medicine and its disciples more leeway with our bodies than we should. Surely, many of these tests did not have benefits that outweighed the risks of the exposure. I wonder how to work on keeping my exposure low (and maybe even lower it) without serious compromise to my lifestyle. But I also wonder if I am being negligent to this great gift that Heavenly Father has given me by simply ignoring the problem through ignorance or even priorities. After all, if I don't care for myself.... who will? And reducing our levels will benefit our families and all those who surround us.

I encourage all who read this to click on the links I have added and see what your approximate radiation exposure is and think of ways you can maybe reduce it. See what you find out... you might be pleasantly surprised... and I might be jealous of your low score!

1. http://www.epa.gov/radiation/understand/calculate.html

2. http://www.nrc.gov/about-nrc/radiation/around-us/calculator.html

(The pie chart above is outdated, but I fell in love with it and I couldn't find a more modern, accurate one. I guess I have always loved pie charts....)