Showing posts with label vulnerable. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vulnerable. Show all posts

2016/10/30

A Short Fim Review- "Marina Abramovic- The Artist is Present"

Here is my unedited initial impression of this artist and her work- I do highly recommend looking at some of her pieces either online, in the documentary or in a museum near you. I found this documentary was a bit difficult for me but was well worth the thoughts and spiritual work it provoked. Her work does contain nudity so be forewarned. :)

This documentary left me feeling raw and so vulnerable… in a place where I needed my prayer and spiritual life to hold me together, to recognize how I rush and rush and rush and even when I sacrifice, it is so little in comparison to some of the acts of others… to recognize my vulnerability and my need that I rarely show to others… and wondering what I would do if I had the opportunity to sit in front of this artist and what mirror image of myself and my feelings I would see and have to recognize.

“It takes such a long time to take you seriously…”

At one point, Ms. Abramovic laughs that she isn’t asked the question… finally… “Why is this art?” I found myself thinking this at the same moment and wondered at how it is different from acting or theatrical performance. I think it might be a sign of how much we do not understand her work or what the difference is between some forms of performance art and how thin the line can sometimes be…. How to walk that line and not break it. This artist recognizes that her body is a legitimate medium and she can use it to make many powerful statements and to reveal the humanity in human nature… for what is “art except for revealing human nature.” The work “The Artist is Present” is quite simply the most creative and thought provoking piece I have ever watched and I find myself terribly disappointed that I have not really seen it except through the lens of a camera and the potential shared experience of the artist and audience third hand… which will never convey the true experience. This particular piece really depended on her stamina, physical and mental strength and courage to complete- as one critic said, “The Artist is Present is so brave… because it can fail.”

“What is beautiful about the MOMA performance… she’s treating actually every human being she is encountered with the same attention and same respect which is pretty shocking…”

“There are many different reasons that people come to sit in front of me… some of them are angry, some of them curious, some of them just want to know what happened… some of them are really open and you feel incredible pain… so many people have so much pain. When they are sitting in front of me it’s not about me anymore because very soon I am just the mirror of their own self”


This is what I felt when I was watching her just sitting and ‘being in space’ for each person in front of her. For a brief moment she felt like my religious advisor… someone I should kneel before and open my heart to… someone with whom I have been taught to be vulnerable and honest with… and as they look into my eyes, they are supposed to hear the spirit whisper the things that I need them to know but cannot or will not find the words to express. And as I looked into her eyes for a brief moment, I felt like this was a small glimpse of what it would be like to see my Heavenly Mother in this world. To sit with an invisible boundary between us and no way to touch or talk but in those moments to recognize each other, to let our hearts and hopes do the talking and our eyes the interacting. To have her acknowledge my presence and to smile… To be that vulnerable is so difficult to behave safely in this world and its thin veneer of kindness and civilized behavior that is so easily cracked… is a brave and challenging thing for each of us to do. It is not something I do easily and to find myself feeling such vulnerability and spiritual need from her work tells me how powerfully it hit me.

There is no doubt in my mind that this is art and compelling work at that. This artist has helped me to open up my viewpoint on art and what it is and what its function might be in my life and the culture around me. I found the nudity so troubling at the beginning- I am so uncomfortable with the human body including my own- yet it felt right and appropriate by the end of the film. In fact, I found myself wanting to discover where her next exhibit is and maybe attend… no matter whether Fox news calls her a “Yugoslavian born provocateur”…. I’m hooked!


pictures from: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marina_Abramovi%C4%87,

2012/11/17

The Year of the Cat :)



To the reader: One picture is slightly adult and immodest in content. This is your warning. :)

Exactly one year ago, I received a phone call at 6:30 in the morning from a young women in Ellsworth named Jane. Her call was the culmination of six months of advice and was to change my life a little bit more than I expected... because she brought Morianna into my life.

When I lived in Vegas, I used to do a lot of volunteer work for a an animal shelter called the Ark. It was a pretty large shelter and dealt with the majority of strays that were caught in the city limits. I thoroughly enjoyed some of the new skills that I learns and I was soon one of the leaders in training stray cat to become 'smooshable' - a skill that is needed for many people to choose them for a pet. It was a fun place to volunteer, where I saw some awful and sad things, but I also gained great friends, some of the most wonderful companions that I was to know over the last decade or so, and some neat skills that I figured I wouldn't use again after moving to Maine. (I also gained some wonderful rabbits for my grandfather and a few fun hamsters as well.) A few years ago when I had some spare time and my life was beginning its horrible upheaval, the 'local' shelter in Maine started a thrift store in Blue Hill to raise money and I happily joined its volunteer staff. I tagged items, sold them, and tried to help move items quickly to get as much money as I could thinking of the animals that would benefit by my service since the shelter itself was so far away. At one point a woman waked in and told me about some stray cats that lived behind the Riverside cafe and expressed her concern about their future lives and what could be done. I gave her advice on how to catch them- the slow but almost always successful way- and agreed to pick them up and get them to the shelter after she had been successful.

Six months later, I received a call saying she would try the next day and success! She caught a very terrified gray Persian covered with mattes... and eyes the six of dinner plates (maybe about six months old). Twelve hours later, I picked up my trap full with two slightly younger cats of clear mixed heritage... the spitting image of each other in markings though not color. I happily called the local shelter (also called the Ark) and was very distressed to learn a few hard facts. One is that while the Ark in Cherryfield, Maine is a shelter, they are very selective in the animals that they select- only animals that are healthy and appear easily adoptable as accepted with a donation. As I looked through the resources that I had I found that there is no really good funded organization for strays in this state and so the cats only options became clear. I dealt with them or they would be put to sleep. So I realized that all the cats that so many of us as volunteers and as shoppers thought we were supporting were not the lonely hurt strays we imagined. I still love the idea of the Ark and while think it serves a very useful purpose, I think that my energy needs to be more towards the smaller, less known, and less funded organizations that actually help the most needy and vulnerable... the feral population.

That didn't change my current situation however. I now had three stray cats in various stages of ill health and not even a real roof over my head. I needed to deal with the difficulties of introducing Brock to them slowly and trying to find them homes. In the end, one year later I still have all three of them and they have been one of the biggest blessings that I have gotten in the last year. The first thing I did was set all three of them up in a large dog crate. Their great fear of me was very apparent and I started in on some of the small things that I used to do to gain trust or at least less fear. I waited for a breakthrough and the breakthroughs can be slow (and usually are.) Stray cats that are older than a few weeks have usually had a few really bad experiences, bad nutrition as well as difficulties in their gestation and early weeks. All of these difficulties can cause brain damage, birth defects, disease, etc...

One of the youngest cracked in two days. She is a beautiful black and white female and around 1am she began to wail. Her fear, sorrow and confusion were very evident and I jumped out of bed and fought past the other two cats to clutch her in my hand. With the recklessness of past experience and the joy of the blessing, I held her softly against my bare skin (yes, I don't wear much to sleep) and crooned a hymn with some clicking and slow notes. For an hour I prayed and held her singing and talking softly and soon I was able to hold her and get dressed without a
great deal of fear from her. By morning, I could sit against the wall, warm and well dressed with a still slightly scared animal, but one who was open to learning about me. She became Morianna, my great companion, who would jump onto the bed for a few pats and would happily act kitteny one minute and feral the next. Over the last year, I have discovered a few things. Her health, while sound has been severely affected. She will never be a full size cat and may always be trapped in a 'teenage' body... slightly small and thin. She is not the sharpest cookie that I have ever had and her enthusiasm for fun and adventure can cause her great trouble as she makes the same mistakes over and over again, not learning the lesson the first time.... or the tenth time. :) Her relationship with Maximilian Robespierre
(my gerbil) has grown over time as he has consistently lured her over to the cage and then bitten her. Over time, Robespierre has gotten tired of biting her (or maybe he feels sorry for her or understands her mental limitations) because he now longer bites her and so he will stand up on his hind feet and throw shavings at her or use his hind feet to kick them in her face. Over the year, she has finally learned to sit close... but not too close! Her fear is almost gone... not quite gone, but has disappeared for the most part. But a few days ago, I walked into the kitchen and she did something that no cat that have ever been feral has done to me before....




Just awesome! She is not the smoochiest cat I have ever had, but the blessings she has given me have become more obvious over time. Caring for her and her 'siblings' has allowed me to use my underused skills and has given me some feelings of success in the rest of the failure in my life. When things have become too much, knowing that these guys depended on me for their very lives would push and motivate me to continue forward. When I get off of work, I am excited to come home and say hello to every one. Her brothers are moving forward much more slowly. The gray Persian I have named Smoke for his ability to appear to dissolve into thin air. He has a few problems. Smoke is also trapped in a stunned body and will probably always look like a teenager. He is thin but with his thick hair, he hides it well... He has problems with digestion, but boy, his reflexes are awesome. Give him a few empty studs with no walls and he can get up, jump, and climb up them in 3 seconds tops.
Egg (or Enigma) is blessed with the perfect kitty size. He is the right adult size now and holds his weight well. The only obvious problem that he has is his eyesight. It is poor and his eyes are a bit infected.... not much I can do about it as I can't hold him down three times a day to put ointment in them. All three look forward to my return every day and have even started to play with my hands or feet when I am supine and haven't moved for a while. I am hopeful in the next few years I will have three great companions. They are truly the blessing I didn't expect at the time. :)

What blessings have you gotten in the form of trouble or difficulty? Anything as 'purry' as mine...? :D