Discussions with a BLS student... February 2013

I wanted to share a ‘conversation’ I had via email this week. As many of you know, I teach BLS (basic life support) in my spare time and one of the benefits I offer my students is that they can contact me by email or phone to ask questions and voice concerns over the time frame that their card is current…so for some students that gives them two years. It doesn’t cost them any more money- it’s just one of the perks that I offer with the class. To be blunt, I rarely hear back from students. Many people take the class for work and are not too stressed as long as they are certified and many just kind of forget as they leave class and go back to their daily business. Every few months, someone will send a letter praising my skills to the hospital and I have also gotten almost universally good evaluations. (I get a ‘bad’ one every few years from one of the local public school English teachers. I was really upset the first time when the evaluation said I was ‘tangentially morbid’, but as he keeps putting it, I have learned to shrug and move on and even laugh about it. The first time he wrote it, I had to look the word up as I had no idea what it meant…which I suspect was also part of his comment. :) However, two weeks ago, I taught a CPR/First Aid class and within three days of the class, my student not only had to use some of the skills I tried to impress on him during the class, but he voiced some really legitimate concerns that I think many of us have in challenging situations. So I thought I would post the ‘conversation.’ I sometimes find trying to address some of my student’s legitimate concerns difficult because I do not feel like I am really a good writer or have an excellent grasp of how to use language to convey feelings and emotions very well. I hope that I did all right…


February 16th, 2013

Hi Sonia,
Your letter confirming training arrived. This afternoon my neighbor called, his wife had fallen, she could not get up and he could not pick her up. He asked if I could come over and help. I've known them for many years, they are both in their late 80's. I went right over. She was on the kitchen floor, her eyes were clear and focused, she said that she did not hurt anyplace only that she did not have the strength to get up. She'd had a brain tumor a couple of years ago and her balance has not been good since, he'd had a heart attack and is no condition to lift more than 5 lbs. I talked with her a while to assess the situation, she seemed to be herself, absolutely clear and lucid. Brought a chair over so that she could steady herself as I picked her up and would not have to move her too far. When she rolled up onto her knees to move I could see the other side of her face there was a large ugly purple spot the size of your palm. She said that she had been to the dermatologist earlier this week and that he had removed a spot, it had not just happened. I put my arms under hers, used my legs to pick her up and she sat down quite easily in the chair.It was tea time, a chance to talk and see how they are doing. The other night she had fallen out of bed and could not get up, they called 911, the ambulance service helped her get back into bed. What they should do is get into an assisted living center - soon, for now they are so entrenched in their home they do not want to go through moving. Getting old is hard. Thank you for the training and the letter,

DP


February 17th , 2013

Wow! That was very quick..... I had a dead phone yesterday so I needed to wait until today but it sounds like you were very helpful and you did the right thing. It doesn't sound like I would have recommended anything different and that was really great of you to help! Did you have any concerns? Did you feel basically prepared and only a little nervous? Is there anything else you wish for me to cover with you....? Anyway, good job and I loved hearing about that!

Sonia G


February 19th, 2013

Hi Sonia,
"Did you have any concerns?" – YES!
Should I being doing this? What If? and still have concerns. The rest of that day and the next day it was still was very much on my mind. More than just this incident - their ability to take care of themselves and that further incidents could cause them pain & suffering. In class the other night you were crystal clear that confidentiality and respect to privacy is paramount. The day after helping them I met a mutual friend and close neighbor in town. I questioned myself as to whether I should say anything or not, I did tell this neighbor about what had happened. It concerns me that I did right or wrong informing this individual about what had happened. As a neighborhood group we have all been very close over the years and helped to take care and watch out for each other through illness and death. Thank you,

DP


February 21st , 2013

So let's chat about that. You are correct- confidentiality and privacy are very, very important. However, there is a loophole in that idea that I didn't really stress so let's go over it. The reason that privacy and confidentiality is so important is that we want people to trust us to give us the information we need to help. However, that information must be given away to others in certain cases. If the patient may cause harm to others, then absolutely we must share the information. If someone is threatening harm to themselves then we must also share that information. We must share it for a few simple reasons, but I think the most important reason is that we cannot allow harm to happen to ourselves... otherwise we become useless to help others. If we keep a secret that later causes us to feel guilt, shame and fear... that causes us to not want to help others anymore... that very much causes harm to ourselves and isn't ok either. So there are legitimate reasons for breaking confidentiality. The situation that you are describing appears to be one of them. If the young lady is likely to continue to fall and to be more likely to get hurt, it is important (if possible) to try with their help to make a plan or come up with ideas to try and develop ways to make the falling less likely. For instance, questioning what the patient feels has caused the last few falls will help a lot. (Does she get dizzy when standing up from sitting, house full of trip hazards, anything situational that consistently puts her at risk?). What then can potentially be changed to help the patient be less likely to fall… You mentioned that her husband can't pick her up if she falls because of his back... Any other family or close friends nearby? One thing that some families and communities have done is to create an informal group for older people in need (this situation is a perfect reason for one). So a small group of like minded, motivated people could talk together and create a plan for helping this family to stay in their home... It sounds like they have no wish to go into assisted living from what you said... So the people in the group would all know each other and have easy contact information for each other. Each person would 'agree' to take a bit of responsibility over the family for a certain amount of time (morning, day, etc...). So they would be available to check on them, visit and help if needed. Once a week or so the group meets either in person or by phone for a few minutes to chat about each person's experiences that week, concerns and any good changes that need to be made- it is awesome if the meetings include the people who need the help. It helps for them to be able to give input on what's working, what's not and what they think they need. Also, a group can share lots of confidential things and when they stay in the group, it’s all good. Does that make sense? Helping your community, the people in it and feeling confident and able to do so is truly the goal... at least for me. I really appreciate your writing and sharing your concerns with me and I hope you will feel more comfortable over time.

To your question of should I be doing this...? Well, that is really up to you. We all have strengths and weaknesses and things that are easy or difficult for each of us. I do not know you very well, but I think I know a few things from our brief time. You are responsible and motivated (you decided you wanted the class, signed up, and even with rescheduling showed up for it. You came with payment, paid attention and asked questions.). You know yourself pretty well (you admitted even when asked a few times that you really probably would never use the book. You felt comfortable being honest about it and didn't feel any concern or need to fib so that I would give you a book and you would toss it later. ). The fact that you feel concerned about these friends/neighbors, etc. suggests you have empathy towards others and concern for their well being and are willing to give of yourself. Some people perform first aid because it makes them feel good about themselves- because they can tell others how wonderful they are and what wonderful things they have done. Your concerns do not appear to be about yourself. You seem concerned with making sure you do the right things and really helping. So it is my thought that you should keep doing this if you feel comfortable enough to try. The more you do it, the more experience will help teach you important things. And over time, many things in your assessment of situations and people will become so easy and just a part of what you do that you will be able to spend more time giving and helping instead of worrying about whether you are remembering everything, etc... Those are just my thoughts though. Please do not think that I am telling you what you must do, etc... I hope I helped answer that question.

What else can I help with? Did this help at all?

Sonia G


February 23rd, 2013

Hi Sonia,
Thank you very much for your thoughtful response to my concerns. It is truly helpful to be able to communicate and receive feedback from someone who understands the causes and roots of concerns such as I had.

Just got off the phone talking with the neighbor who we're concerned about, today they're doing fine. Tomorrow, will go to see them and perhaps have a cup of tea. Over the next few days will talk with a couple of the other neighbors and see if we can come up with a schedule

The days are getting longer ~ Happy photosynthesis!

DP


I really love knowing that everyone in a while, I have a student who has really listened and not just with their head…but with their heart and soul too. They have heard things that I wasn’t even sure that I managed to get out…how do you teach people to have empathy towards others if they do not already have it? I won’t pretend that is a skill I have. Whenever I prepare for a class, I always ask for the spirit to be with me while I am teaching so that the important parts of my message can be discerned and not lost in my 'hyper-whirlwind' that I call me. I am so grateful for these skills and I am so glad that they can help others and give me satisfaction and joy too! Can’t wait for my next class!

2013 Poetry Corner # 2 : Evening Prayer

The best moment of the day
To kneel in the quiet
Surrounded by darkness
My mind jumbled and crowded
… a moment to settle
… a deep breath

The words form slowly and then come
Tumbling and rushing down
My waterfall of thoughts
Pouring and crashing into silence
… my tears fall
… my heart pleading

The thoughts form patterns
My mind will clear
The heart feels lighter
My soul feels peace
… my head sinks
… sleep comes

Horizontally, the moment ends
Claimed by exhaustion...
May it come again!

The Rise of Universities in the Middle Ages and the World of Gregory Chaucer

So when I was at work today, I heard two customers chatting about the past and an author that one of their children was studying. They mentioned the ridiculous refrain that people in the Middle Ages were all uneducated unthinking idiots (not my word by the way.) As part of the discussion that these two individuals were having, they discussed both the idea that the medieval people thought the world was flat and that Chaucer is a bore. I don't know if my studies have truly given me a unique perspective on this time in history or if I simply take that knowledge for granted and assume that other people know it as well. But, I soon found myself holding a pile of prescriptions in my hand, standing behind the corner of the wall and avidly listening to the conversation while pretending to rearrange toothpaste – that must have been pretty silly to watch. :)

When these to men shook hands and appeared to go their separate ways to finish their errands, I found myself really thoughtful. It is so clear looking at older maps and studying the early scientists that well before the Middle Ages- the time frame that is generally accepted is 500 AD- 1500 AD and this time frame may be considered to include the Dark Ages and is also known as the Medieval Period. Depending on how you look at this time and what has been documented of its history truly colors how you see it and judge its people and history. I don't think that addressing whether people at the time thought the world was flat is useful- there is so much evidence that has been collected over the years that strongly suggest that we moderns who believe these ideas about the people/past are really 'culturally snobbish' and ignorant of our ancestors and our collective past. I did think I would take the time to talk a little bit about Chaucer and his work as well as the rise of education and universities during the Middle Ages... because the idea of higher education/degrees and a college/university themselves were developed during the Middle Ages and are not products or children of the Renaissance or later modern times.

Gregory Chaucer was probably born in 1343 in London, England. While we do not know much about any of the other poets and writers of this age, Chaucer is an exception due to his decades of work in his government – as a courtier, a diplomat (who was captured by the enemy and ransom paid by King Edward III during the Hundred Years War), and a public servant. So many aspects of his life are actually quite well documented giving us a great portrait of this man's life and the world he tried to describe in his works. He studied law, traveled around Europe and married... being blessed with a few children. Hi writing career includes several works and translations- not only the famous 'Canterbury Tale' – most that are believed to have been written between 1374-1386. His famous work is very different from other literary works of the period and far from being boring, it gives us images into the lives and occupations of different people during this time. In some cases, historians feel they have been able to actually determine some of the individuals that were used by the author for characters. Gregory Chaucer also is known for his metrical innovation as well as the first user of many English words in his works- these words were probably in common use at the time and many are still in use today. He is also credited to helping to standardize the Middle English language and is known as the 'Father of English Literature' – his writings in it were uncommon at the time as most writing in England was written in either French or Latin. It is unknown exactly when he died or even how he died- there is some speculation that he was murdered for political reasons during a regime change, etc.... One interesting tidbit of information was that Mr Chaucer owned a building in London that (while unknown if Chaucer was in it at the time) would have given him a great view of the Peasant's Revolt and it's leaders passing under his windows at Aldgate... that would have been an interesting thing to see!

So, some of Chaucer's work is able to tell us about a lot about his society's problems in the fourteenth century! The Canterbury Tales helps us to see some of the problems that Chaucer's society needed to deal with at the time... or at least we can understand what problems he saw around him. One focus in his work is on the Catholic churchman and the corrupt practices of these men and the church. (It goes without saying that Chaucer is probably describing the vast majority of churchmen, but not an absolute truth.) Two characters in the book are members of the Catholic church who sell indulgences or whose jobs are to bring people to the church for excommunication and repentance- characters that both are portrayed as greedy, selfish, and even guilty of the same charges that they bring against others... suggesting they are corrupt and dishonest as well. Other characters that represent church members, such as the monk, the nun, etc..., tend to also suggest corrupt and spiritually lacking individuals with the exception of the nun. So it seems clear that concerns about the Catholic church were fairly widespread and not easily fixed during this time. (I make the assumption that they are not easily fixed if they are so widespread and 'in the open'.) Chaucer's writing when looking at the story of the Knight suggests that violence was too often resorted to for 'noble' or 'pure' reasons... which in the grand scheme of things were useless and ridiculous motives. Many of the stories also suggest problems in society between the different classes of people in the society as hierarchy is starting to be eroded in public thought and expression.

One important thing to note about the culture of reading and writing during the Late Middle Ages is that is that education was still something that was only 'trickling' down a little bit. The vast majority of people did not know how to read or write. Some of the poetry and music movements of the time gave the educated few more opportunities to express and enjoy a change in the culture that made it acceptable to talk about relationships and love in society. In the past, music and poetry was really a bizarre form of propaganda in the sense that the cultural writings , etc... tended to focus on war and the heroes of war, their deaths, etc.... Talking about love or relationships was quite taboo and for this idea to come out into the open society was quite new and also helped change some societal attitudes. Love poetry was also used to develop acceptable patterns of behavior for the society at large which gave rise to some of the behaviors that we see as chivalry. Fables and fairy tales became popular at this time... and it is this period that we can thank for Grimm's fairy tales and Aesop's fables. In fables, various characters of medieval society were thinly disguised as animals and were very entertaining... still are actually. :)

It was during this time that the idea of universities was envisions and began to take shape. Universities were first envisioned by the emperor Charlemagne who saw the need to have a large group of educated men (priests) that his communities could draw from for leadership... so he wanted to develop a program in which all the cathedrals and monasteries in his lands would provide a free education for any male child who was intelligent enough and motivated enough to complete the study (not just from a wealthy family). However, Charlemagne died before his dream became a reality. Some schools had been established and these schools managed to continue.... even through the worst of times they would continue to train priests. These schools basically taught two distinct groups of teaching. There was the 'grammar' school which taught grammar, rhetoric and logic and then the 'humanity' portion which included math, geometry, astronomy and musical studies. All of these studies were necessary to work in many capacities in the church so all were considered essential. Around the year 1000, some schools began to add more elements of education to their grammar and humanity studies. Universities began to not only try and teach knowledge that was known, but they also tried to learn and extend knowledge itself. Mathematics and classical studies as well as the study of law was expanded. By the time of Pope Gregory VII in 1079, in which he issued a papal decree for all cathedrals and monasteries to establish schools for the training of clergy, education and the idea of learning for people interested was on the rise. So the first universities were established in Italy (Bologna, Modena, Siena, and Padua), England (Oxford and Cambridge), France (Paris, Toulouse, Orleans, and Montpellier) and Spain (Palencia, Salamanca and Coimbra). The city of Paris developed a few great centers of learning that were associated with their monasteries. Qualified teachers could apply and become part of the teaching faculty there. The terms professor- reserved for the teachers that lived within the monastery- and associate professor- for the teacher who lived outside provided the words that we still use today in a slightly different context at our modern universities. In Paris, students at universities could pick which lectures and courses they took and they would settle in an area that was closest to the desired regions. Professors would then rent halls to lecture in and this area in Paris became known as the Latin Quarter- due to the common language of the people living, teaching, and studying there. The idea of a university separate from the Catholic church and the monasteries began to form as the Chancellors and leaders in their local areas in the church would try to control all subjects and knowledge taught under their jurisdiction. (This is a struggle that will still continue today between the Heads of Universities and the professors themselves). Around this time, students were not just taught to 'regurgitate' the knowledge that was taught to them, but also to use logic and reason to interpret and use it.... which began the public 'debate'. In fact, science was a heavier portion of a degree in those days and was required course work... not mainly electives. Due to a small but nasty incident of violence between students and teachers and others, the first truly separate university was developed in Paris and was called the University of the Masters and Students of Paris. This university fought and gained many rights that all colleges and universities take for granted today... such as the rights to pick curriculum, the right to choose their own faculty, etc...

This was also the time of the rise of the Humanists. The Humanists were individuals who thought that humanity itself was a grand miracle and to study humanity and its culture and accomplishments would help you to be a better person in your life and society around you. If you went to a university at that time, there was very little difference in the few degree programs that were offered in the beginning because the classes that you would take were the 'humanities'- language and grammar, history and law, poetry and classical writing as well as philosophy. (When you get a liberal studies degree today, you are getting many of the same kind of ideas that you would have received in the past... with updates of course :) It was thought that well rounded educated people would be better equipped and able to participate in their communities and civil obligations. It was also thought that the more educated and capable you were, the more likely you were to not only live a good life, but to influence those around you to do go as well and to help people around you to become better. I don't disagree with them at all really. I think that sometimes we can get too focused on a small part of education and lose our 'humanity' in that, but otherwise I think that education only helps us to help ourselves and others.

So, far from boring, I guess I tend to find this time in history fascinating. So much or our modern world was shaped by this time period and those who helped develop it. I speak a language that began to be developed during this time, attend colleges that came to exist because of the fights and challenges and hopes of past generations, and I am even getting a degree based on the medieval ideal... although I will say that the degree has changed a bit over the centuries. :) Can you imagine a world without these changes... a world where we all write mostly in Latin with Greek and French as secondary languages... a world where only those of more privilege birth are able to afford education at all and a world where you are very must limited by your birth and place. While our modern world still has some of these limitations, our ancestors have managed to remove some of the barriers that would have restricted us. I f you have attended a university in your life, would you be willing to comment on how it has benefited you, what it means to you in your life, etc....? I would love to hear your experiences! :)

2013 Poetry Corner # 1 : 'Anxiety'

Anxiety, anxiety.... my ever faithful chain
Always here around my heart
Can I still be sane?

Breathe in, breathe slow...
Slowly, thoughtful, timely
So that my soul can grow.

Fight it and sigh
For eventually you'll win
No need to ask why..

just continue to try.....

The Year of the Cat :)

To the reader: One picture is slightly adult and immodest in content. This is your warning. :)

Exactly one year ago, I received a phone call at 6:30 in the morning from a young women in Ellsworth named Jane. Her call was the culmination of six months of advice and was to change my life a little bit more than I expected... because she brought Morianna into my life.

When I lived in Vegas, I used to do a lot of volunteer work for a an animal shelter called the Ark. It was a pretty large shelter and dealt with the majority of strays that were caught in the city limits. I thoroughly enjoyed some of the new skills that I learns and I was soon one of the leaders in training stray cat to become 'smooshable' - a skill that is needed for many people to choose them for a pet. It was a fun place to volunteer, where I saw some awful and sad things, but I also gained great friends, some of the most wonderful companions that I was to know over the last decade or so, and some neat skills that I figured I wouldn't use again after moving to Maine. (I also gained some wonderful rabbits for my grandfather and a few fun hamsters as well.) A few years ago when I had some spare time and my life was beginning its horrible upheaval, the 'local' shelter in Maine started a thrift store in Blue Hill to raise money and I happily joined its volunteer staff. I tagged items, sold them, and tried to help move items quickly to get as much money as I could thinking of the animals that would benefit by my service since the shelter itself was so far away. At one point a woman waked in and told me about some stray cats that lived behind the Riverside cafe and expressed her concern about their future lives and what could be done. I gave her advice on how to catch them- the slow but almost always successful way- and agreed to pick them up and get them to the shelter after she had been successful.

Six months later, I received a call saying she would try the next day and success! She caught a very terrified gray Persian covered with mattes... and eyes the six of dinner plates (maybe about six months old). Twelve hours later, I picked up my trap full with two slightly younger cats of clear mixed heritage... the spitting image of each other in markings though not color. I happily called the local shelter (also called the Ark) and was very distressed to learn a few hard facts. One is that while the Ark in Cherryfield, Maine is a shelter, they are very selective in the animals that they select- only animals that are healthy and appear easily adoptable as accepted with a donation. As I looked through the resources that I had I found that there is no really good funded organization for strays in this state and so the cats only options became clear. I dealt with them or they would be put to sleep. So I realized that all the cats that so many of us as volunteers and as shoppers thought we were supporting were not the lonely hurt strays we imagined. I still love the idea of the Ark and while think it serves a very useful purpose, I think that my energy needs to be more towards the smaller, less known, and less funded organizations that actually help the most needy and vulnerable... the feral population.

That didn't change my current situation however. I now had three stray cats in various stages of ill health and not even a real roof over my head. I needed to deal with the difficulties of introducing Brock to them slowly and trying to find them homes. In the end, one year later I still have all three of them and they have been one of the biggest blessings that I have gotten in the last year. The first thing I did was set all three of them up in a large dog crate. Their great fear of me was very apparent and I started in on some of the small things that I used to do to gain trust or at least less fear. I waited for a breakthrough and the breakthroughs can be slow (and usually are.) Stray cats that are older than a few weeks have usually had a few really bad experiences, bad nutrition as well as difficulties in their gestation and early weeks. All of these difficulties can cause brain damage, birth defects, disease, etc...

One of the youngest cracked in two days. She is a beautiful black and white female and around 1am she began to wail. Her fear, sorrow and confusion were very evident and I jumped out of bed and fought past the other two cats to clutch her in my hand. With the recklessness of past experience and the joy of the blessing, I held her softly against my bare skin (yes, I don't wear much to sleep) and crooned a hymn with some clicking and slow notes. For an hour I prayed and held her singing and talking softly and soon I was able to hold her and get dressed without a

great deal of fear from her. By morning, I could sit against the wall, warm and well dressed with a still slightly scared animal, but one who was open to learning about me. She became Morianna, my great companion, who would jump onto the bed for a few pats and would happily act kitteny one minute and feral the next. Over the last year, I have discovered a few things. Her health, while sound has been severely affected. She will never be a full size cat and may always be trapped in a 'teenage' body... slightly small and thin. She is not the sharpest cookie that I have ever had and her enthusiasm for fun and adventure can cause her great trouble as she makes the same mistakes over and over again, not learning the lesson the first time.... or the tenth time. :) Her relationship with Maximilian Robespierre

(my gerbil) has grown over time as he has consistently lured her over to the cage and then bitten her. Over time, Robespierre has gotten tired of biting her (or maybe he feels sorry for her or understands her mental limitations) because he now longer bites her and so he will stand up on his hind feet and throw shavings at her or use his hind feet to kick them in her face. Over the year, she has finally learned to sit close... but not too close! Her fear is almost gone... not quite gone, but has disappeared for the most part. But a few days ago, I walked into the kitchen and she did something that no cat that have ever been feral has done to me before....

Just awesome! She is not the smoochiest cat I have ever had, but the blessings she has given me have become more obvious over time. Caring for her and her 'siblings' has allowed me to use my underused skills and has given me some feelings of success in the rest of the failure in my life. When things have become too much, knowing that these guys depended on me for their very lives would push and motivate me to continue forward. When I get off of work, I am excited to come home and say hello to every one. Her brothers are moving forward much more slowly. The gray Persian I have named Smoke for his ability to appear to dissolve into thin air. He has a few problems. Smoke is also trapped in a stunned body and will probably always look like a teenager. He is thin but with his thick hair, he hides it well... He has problems with digestion, but boy, his reflexes are awesome. Give him a few empty studs with no walls and he can get up, jump, and climb up them in 3 seconds tops.

Egg (or Enigma) is blessed with the perfect kitty size. He is the right adult size now and holds his weight well. The only obvious problem that he has is his eyesight. It is poor and his eyes are a bit infected.... not much I can do about it as I can't hold him down three times a day to put ointment in them. All three look forward to my return every day and have even started to play with my hands or feet when I am supine and haven't moved for a while. I am hopeful in the next few years I will have three great companions. They are truly the blessing I didn't expect at the time. :)

What blessings have you gotten in the form of trouble or difficulty? Anything as 'purry' as mine...? :D