Showing posts with label gluten. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gluten. Show all posts
2018/12/18
Gratitude - 12/18/18
I am so grateful for a few things today.
I am really grateful for my sister in law today. She sent me a message letting me know how much she cares about me and that I have a heart of gold. That message really meant a lot to me and has helped me to smile over the week. It has also brought a thought to mind... what am I doing with that heart of gold? Am I helping others? How am I using that heart and generosity to help others? I am grateful to the joy and wonderment she brought into my life this week.
I love John Oliver. I learn so much from him and appreciate the research and work his team accomplishes to educate his viewers and it makes a difference in my life. One of my final school papers before I graduated was on sexual education - I got the idea for the paper and started my research using one of his episodes. (See link here) I have been able to rest some days this week and go over some of his older episodes and enjoy and relearn. I am glad to have the opportunity to re-watch them through Youtube and think over the information contained in them.
I got two Christmas cards today. One of them is from my brother and his family and the pictures and the joy contained in them are so obvious and wonderful. I put it on my fridge and I look at it every time I walk by. One of my nieces looks a lot like me and I look in awe of genetics and how genes can be turned on in different pieces of different families. Bug doesn't look much like me at all if I think about it. The other card is from a good friend who sent me the newest noise Christmas album that he put together with music from lots of groups. I can't wait to listen to it tomorrow when I'm trying to get a good walk in. I'm not going to do Christmas cards this year so I am very grateful for every card that I get. They give me a lot of joy.
I discovered a new author today- B.B. Haywood. I have started the author's first book ("Town in a Blueberry Jam") and I am enjoying it in my free time very much.
I had a gluten exposure recently and I have been fighting the pain and exhaustion that comes with it. It hasn't been that bad this time and I am so glad that I am spending less time just fighting my body to get it to move and do what needs to be done. I am thankful for my treadmill because I can walk slowly and intermittently in a warm place... Maine sure is cold right now. Being able to try and keep my health up in a warm safe place is not something I take for granted.
I am grateful for my very best friend. She keeps me sane, less lonely, thoughtful, and as self sufficient as I can be right now. She is supportive and I can't thank her enough.
I am grateful for my ex. He really does a lot of things for me and I appreciate it very much. I am very grateful.
What are you grateful for today?
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2018/03/04
Gratitude - 3/4/18
Its been a busy few weeks and I have found myself interested in writing, but the thought slides to the back of my mind each time as I have found other distractions. Many of the distractions were minor and I have accomplished a lot of my list of backlogged items - CPR paperwork, housework, etc... but I had a few nice things happen over the last weeks and I was able to get through a few interviews as well as other needful appointments without too many problems. I get so much anxiety when appointments do not go as well as planed and it was a relief to find a way to fix some of the problems without the anxiety overwhelming me for days. Lots to be thankful for.
1. I am warm and dry. My rental home is small and with all my pets it is seriously full, but it is comfortable and I weathered the most recent wind storm and weather. The wind was strong enough that I needed to keep the house a little warmer, but I never lost power and my feline companions seemed comfortable even with the lower temps in the house.
2. I got a great meal of zucchini spaghetti and meatballs that my ex cooked up for Bug and I today and I watched the Muppet Movie with Bug while we ate. Just a nice snuggle with films and food. It was lovely. I am way too lazy to make my own meat balls and I must confess, Rob makes excellent ones.
3. I made a cake that was really good today. Making a good cake that is gluten free in NOT my strong suit and the recipe that a friend gave me was too awesome for words. It took the cake longer to cook than it did for all three of us to consume it. It was awesome.
4. I got to see an old episode of the "The Simpsons" and my mind smiled when I heard some of the fun phrases from my childhood- "Don't have a cow man!" and "Ow... quit it. Ow... quit it. Ow... quit it" While it was never my favorite show, hearing those phrases brought a smile to my face. I got to see the episode when they got their dog and remembering that they 'rescued' the dog made me smile too. It's been a long time since I have heard the bastardized versions of Jingle Bells and Rudolph the Reindeer that I used to sing. (Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, you'll go down in history... like Attila the Hun.) I found myself smiling and singing along.
5. Cyril and Footie both went out of their way to ask for attention from me today. That isn't a common thing in my house and I loved it. They are shy spuds and I love the fact that they are slowly becoming more sociable.
6. I got a great shirt for the Turnstyle this week for work. You can never have too many awesome work shirts. It really changes the tone of my day if I feel like I look good at work. So I can't wait to show it off!
7. I got to chat with my nephews for a few minutes the last few Sunday evenings which is a great blessing. I have some amazing family and I love to speak to them. I hope to do it more in the future. :)
8. It's been a great Sabbath. I'm going to end the day with a friend helping to care for one of her pets and after my day with Bug, I feel content. Tomorrow work commences, but for tonight, I can still rest.
What are you grateful for today?
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2018/01/15
Things to Smile About
I'm trying to recover from a gluten exposure this week. I hate the way that my body feels as it tries to heal up because everything feels fragile and weak or doesn't work well. I lose most of my desire for food and have no desire to do anything but remain stationary. For the most part, the option of doing nothing really isn't a viable choice so I try to accomplish the minimum needed so that I am able to give my body the rest it needs to heal up. So today I did some needful errands and chores as well as paperwork and have tried to intersperse restful behavior throughout. Settling down to rest sometimes allows me to really look at some of my 'favorite' things and enjoy them for what they are... instead of just a quick glance as I head off or out to do something. Here are a few of them.
I got this really cool dragon from a Value Village in Seattle. I had been shopping with Shaneen and Katey and I can't remember who suggested that 'who doesn't need a cool dragon in the house'... but I decided I did. Bug loves it and considers it his and as it gets moved and carried around enough it is starting to break around the wings and ears. But I can't help but smile every time I look at it. Its a pretty cool piece of work and I wonder who made it and how they managed to let it go.
I love this vase. I'm not sure why specifically, but I love the way it looks and I always smile when I look at it. Daisies are my favorite flowers and they look great in it and each emphasizes the beauty of the other. I have no idea who made this vase, but it's pretty awesome.
I love houseplants. I got this one when someone left it in the free room at the transfer station and I happily scooped it up and brought it home. I got it last fall and it had a pink flower or two but almost no leaves. I tried to water it and coax it into growth and got absolutely nothing... just a few leaves that limped along on the stems throughout the winter. This summer I made sure the plant spent a lot of time outside and it developed lots of leaves and several flowers, but as fall came it still didn't have the 'hearty' look I had hoped for. So I have fussed and worried about it concerned that it might struggle to survive this winter as well. However, while the flowers are gone, all of the remaining leaves have stayed on. not only that, but soft slim tendrils are stretching up my wall to wrap around the curtain rod. Just seeing that brings a large smile to my face.It is still a bit 'awkward' in how is it growing and in appearance, but I see that as a metaphor for life and enjoy it anyway.
When Remus had his tail removed, the stump looked naked, tight, and weird. It looked a bit indecent and watching him 'wag' it was hilarious and appalling all at once. I remember telling Katey that I hoped he managed to get some of the hair to grow back onto it so that it was 'less' difficult to look at. Today, Remus sat by me hoping for as much attention as he could get and I got a really good close look at his stump... and it is beautiful. The hair has grown over it and the stitches are starting to fall out as everything heals. (Purple stitches on dark black skin looked a bit odd as well.) I am so glad that his tail matches the rest of him now and when he wags it the tail looks like a part of him instead of something stuck on with glue.
I found myself thinking of the film 'Picnic' today. I love the story and the images so I pulled it out today to watch. Its only about five minutes long and it is for children, but I love it and find it restful and fun to watch all the same. I just want to hug the little mouse when he finds and hugs his doll. It's a sweet peaceful film to enjoy.
These are the main things that brought some joy into my life today. I intend to spend what little of the day is left with a book by one of my favorite authors.(She must be a favorite- I've named a few cats after characters from her novels. Cyril is the most recent animal to share the name of the cat who annoys Racer in the police station although my Cyril is much more calm and docile than his namesake in the novels :) What did you enjoy today?
Labels:
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2015/04/11
Thoughts on Gcflearnfree....
At the site gcflearnfree.org, I checked out a few tutorials on some things that interested me. This was another site that I hadn't heard of before and after some time on it, I had a little bit of a mixed opinion. Since I struggle hard core with math in my personal life, I thought I would start there. The math portion was divided into sections that covered the basics and a little bit of fourth grade math (fractions), but except for some basics it didn't really do much for me. For instance, it gives practice problems, but doesn’t give a way to check your answers to see if you understood- if they do I couldn't find it. There was a zombie game in that section which I tried and that would allow you to do the math problem and let you know whether you arrived at the right answer or not and it was a little fun, but I thought it might also be stressful because you have to 'rush' the answers or the zombie will 'get you'. That said I realized that I was better at addition in my head than I thought ;)
I glanced through “All the Topics” next and I found that there were a lot of good topics, but not many that interested me right now. I looked at reading because it is one of my favorite things to do and I thought the exercises were great- only thing I would have changed is except for the 'grammar' section, there wasn't much on writing. (I suspect that is because writing is much too complex to put in small bites – at least that's how I see writing.) I also looked at the Microsoft office section because I am currently taking a beginner's computer class and that is something that we are learning about. I found that the topics I already understood well I could understand clearly in the exercises, but I did struggle a little with trying to figure them out if I didn't already have some understanding of the concept discussed.
I think that this might be a site that I would use again, but I didn't feel completed grabbed by the site in such a way that I will be more likely to use it on a regular basis. It was good to learn about and I am interested to see what other people thought of it. I think if I was in a position to be able to use the internet more and to need the information it provided I would be more interested in using it more often. Anyway, it's good to know! :)
What do you think? Have you tried it? On a semi weird note, when I first saw the website title I read it so fast that I thought it was about gluten free stuff and I was really excited... and then confused for the first few seconds of looking at the site... You can't tell what's always in my head, can ya? :D
2014/07/10
Journey Forth #6 : The Accidental Relationship between Gluten and Casein
When I was first diagnosed with celiac disease and started to research the disorder but also the foods that were available, I ran across many people who started pushing me towards a gluten free-casein free diet not only for myself but for Bug as well- we both have the disease and I think he can thank my genes for that ;) I was skeptical and I am still a bit questioning about some theories behind the diet. This particular diet is recommended for many people with celiac disease and other food allergies and it has become one of the diets of choice for individuals with autism and other developmental disorders and is sometimes recommended for people with mental health disorders such as schizophrenia. So I'll cover the basics of both. (Can I stress that I am wading into territory that is not firmly entrenched in science or statistics yet.)
The basics of this diet are that the individual not only avoids gluten but also all foods that contain the dairy protein. Some need to do this due to a true allergy and some people report that they have reactions that are similar to gluten intolerance when consuming the dairy protein. This protein can be found in butter, cheese, cream and milk, as well as yogurt and countless other products including chocolate, lunch meat or other prepared meat products and other non-dairy products. Symptoms of a true milk allergy are very similar to gluten intolerance as well as wheat allergy and celiac disease so trying to separate out the allergies and sensitivities can be pretty rough and time consuming. The most common symptoms may include; multiple skin reactions, anaphylaxis, multiple digestive complaints (including diarrhea, vomiting, and pain), multiple reactions in the lungs (coughing, sneezing, shortness of breath or wheezing), migraines, irritability, hyperactivity and other personality changes, insomnia, fatigue, depression and anxiety... to start the list. ;) If the challenge of eliminating gluten from the diet seems to be formidable, adding the need for casein removal can make the challenge seem like a herculean task.
There are a few reasons put forward for the similarities in symptoms and the immune reactions in the body between ingestion of gluten and casein. All three have been and are currently under study by researchers.
Casein is one of the most common food allergies and some studies suggest that as much as thirty percent of the general population have elevated amounts of the antibodies in their blood.
Casein has a similar molecular structure to gluten and they both create similar metabolic byproducts from their breakdown and digestion.
The enzyme that is needed to digest dairy is found in the brush borders and the tips of the villi in the small intestine... which is the first area that is damaged in gluten consumption for those individuals who are susceptible. With the necessary enzymes being in low numbers or decimated, the digestive process fails until healing and enzyme re-population has commenced... in some cases, a year after a gluten exposure.
For many parents of children with mental health disorders or developmental delays such as autism, this diet is not seen as a “diet” per se, but as a necessity and way of life. The changes in both behavior as well as mentation have been pretty well documented in self reporting and other unofficial forums. From personal experience, I feel a lot more in 'control' of my mind when I haven't had gluten- celiac aside. These experiences as well as watching and learning from friends and parents who have navigated these particular waters, I have found a great deal of confirmation in my mind that there is a great deal of positive evidence for recommendation of this particular diet for people with specific diagnoses or conditions. So even as I stress that the scientific evidence isn't there yet, I feel like I would be remiss if I hadn’t taken the time to discuss it. Whether the problems are due to the body's confusion of the proteins, lack or appropriate digestive enzymes or even another allergy... the problems are very real and need to be dealt with by individual sufferers on a daily basis.
What are your thoughts? Do you personally have experiences with this diet and individuals who use it? Please share if you are willing to...! :)
The basics of this diet are that the individual not only avoids gluten but also all foods that contain the dairy protein. Some need to do this due to a true allergy and some people report that they have reactions that are similar to gluten intolerance when consuming the dairy protein. This protein can be found in butter, cheese, cream and milk, as well as yogurt and countless other products including chocolate, lunch meat or other prepared meat products and other non-dairy products. Symptoms of a true milk allergy are very similar to gluten intolerance as well as wheat allergy and celiac disease so trying to separate out the allergies and sensitivities can be pretty rough and time consuming. The most common symptoms may include; multiple skin reactions, anaphylaxis, multiple digestive complaints (including diarrhea, vomiting, and pain), multiple reactions in the lungs (coughing, sneezing, shortness of breath or wheezing), migraines, irritability, hyperactivity and other personality changes, insomnia, fatigue, depression and anxiety... to start the list. ;) If the challenge of eliminating gluten from the diet seems to be formidable, adding the need for casein removal can make the challenge seem like a herculean task.
There are a few reasons put forward for the similarities in symptoms and the immune reactions in the body between ingestion of gluten and casein. All three have been and are currently under study by researchers.
Casein is one of the most common food allergies and some studies suggest that as much as thirty percent of the general population have elevated amounts of the antibodies in their blood.
Casein has a similar molecular structure to gluten and they both create similar metabolic byproducts from their breakdown and digestion.
The enzyme that is needed to digest dairy is found in the brush borders and the tips of the villi in the small intestine... which is the first area that is damaged in gluten consumption for those individuals who are susceptible. With the necessary enzymes being in low numbers or decimated, the digestive process fails until healing and enzyme re-population has commenced... in some cases, a year after a gluten exposure.
For many parents of children with mental health disorders or developmental delays such as autism, this diet is not seen as a “diet” per se, but as a necessity and way of life. The changes in both behavior as well as mentation have been pretty well documented in self reporting and other unofficial forums. From personal experience, I feel a lot more in 'control' of my mind when I haven't had gluten- celiac aside. These experiences as well as watching and learning from friends and parents who have navigated these particular waters, I have found a great deal of confirmation in my mind that there is a great deal of positive evidence for recommendation of this particular diet for people with specific diagnoses or conditions. So even as I stress that the scientific evidence isn't there yet, I feel like I would be remiss if I hadn’t taken the time to discuss it. Whether the problems are due to the body's confusion of the proteins, lack or appropriate digestive enzymes or even another allergy... the problems are very real and need to be dealt with by individual sufferers on a daily basis.
What are your thoughts? Do you personally have experiences with this diet and individuals who use it? Please share if you are willing to...! :)
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2014/07/09
Journey Forth #5 : Causes of Poorly Responsive Celiac Disease
For the majority of individuals with celiac disease on a strict gluten free diet, their intestines will, over time, heal and they will not feel pain or have to deal with many of the challenges that can be caused by the disorder. However, there is a small percentage of individuals with the disorder in whom the body and its ability to heal is either blunted or unable to function. This is sometimes known as poorly responsive celiac disease. There are a few situations that can continue to either cause the damage, keep the body from healing in a timely or appropriate matter, or even continuing some of the symptoms due to other physical malfunctions. The known reasons for these continued difficulties are:
1. Continuing gluten ingestion – In case many people haven't noticed, gluten seems to be in everything! So it can be very challenging to make sure that everything consumed is gluten free. To make that more challenging, affected individuals must be introspective and know themselves and their habits well. So, for those who wear lip gloss, lipstick, etc...that must also be gluten free. If you tend to suck on the ends of your hair... it might be a good idea to now what is in your shampoo. Eye drops and other medications can have systemic interactions and therefore can cause damage... even if it was just one drop into an eye. Hands contaminated with gluten and then used to chew nails, etc... can also cause a small exposure. And as mentioned in an earlier post, any exposure no matter how small is dangerous and can cause damage.
2. Refractory celiac disease (refractory sprue) – Approximately 5% of patients can end up with this diagnosis and it reflects the body's inability to heal from the damage caused by the past gluten ingestion. Any future exposure will continue to cause damage while past damage remains... leaving the individuals digestive system crippled and unable to perform its necessary duties with any efficiency at all. More energy is used to digest and important nutrients are less able to be digested even with the expense of the added energy. These individuals tend to struggle for the rest of their lives trying to improve their digestion and health and may take supplements and medicine to try and help the body not only digest but continue to function in a positive way by providing missing needed nutrients.
3. Pancreatic insufficiency - For some patients, their ability to appropriately digest food can be hampered due to the lack of needed enzymes.
4. Small intestinal bacterial overgrowth - This is actually a fairly common problem that can happen alongside the damage in the intestines, but doesn't necessarily repair itself when the intestinal walls themselves are starting to recover. In this instance, the bacterial balance in the small intestine changes in two ways -first, the bacteria in the small intestine changes form and becomes more like the bacteria in the colon (which is pretty different.) Secondly, this abnormal bacteria tends to grow faster in the small intestine so that there is simply too much of it around.
5. Undiagnosed sister disease – some patients do not get better very quickly for the simple reason that celiac disease wasn't the whole answer. So many patients as they begin the gluten free diet and continue to have symptomology and difficulty after several months discover that they also have a concurring digestive disorder. The most common of these are microscopic colitis, Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis.
6. Casein ingestion – Some people find that their symptoms do not clear up until they stop consuming Casein as well. Casein is the protein found in almost all dairy products such as milk, yogurt, cheese, ice cream, etc... even breast milk. This reaction is not well studied or proven and is listed here because it is being studied and discussed among researchers, doctors, and patients. I have found for myself that, because the gluten protein is similarly built to the casein protein, I do have more problems for the first few months after a gluten exposure if I continue to eat dairy in large quantities... Bug has found the same thing. That is just my experience however. I'll discuss the theory more in another post. :)
In my case, I have been told that I do probably have refractory sprue. I have not been healing well and even a small exposure can really mess me up for months. Even without exposures, my digestion is not improving a lot. I can have what appears to be random pain that comes and goes and is fairly consistent over months. I have discolored patches of skin causes by the digestion issues in a few areas. As soon as I have insurance, my physician is planning on another upper endoscopy with biopsies to check on the healing process.... or lack there of. I won't deny I am not looking forward to it.
What are your thoughts? Experiences... please share. :)
1. Continuing gluten ingestion – In case many people haven't noticed, gluten seems to be in everything! So it can be very challenging to make sure that everything consumed is gluten free. To make that more challenging, affected individuals must be introspective and know themselves and their habits well. So, for those who wear lip gloss, lipstick, etc...that must also be gluten free. If you tend to suck on the ends of your hair... it might be a good idea to now what is in your shampoo. Eye drops and other medications can have systemic interactions and therefore can cause damage... even if it was just one drop into an eye. Hands contaminated with gluten and then used to chew nails, etc... can also cause a small exposure. And as mentioned in an earlier post, any exposure no matter how small is dangerous and can cause damage.
2. Refractory celiac disease (refractory sprue) – Approximately 5% of patients can end up with this diagnosis and it reflects the body's inability to heal from the damage caused by the past gluten ingestion. Any future exposure will continue to cause damage while past damage remains... leaving the individuals digestive system crippled and unable to perform its necessary duties with any efficiency at all. More energy is used to digest and important nutrients are less able to be digested even with the expense of the added energy. These individuals tend to struggle for the rest of their lives trying to improve their digestion and health and may take supplements and medicine to try and help the body not only digest but continue to function in a positive way by providing missing needed nutrients.
3. Pancreatic insufficiency - For some patients, their ability to appropriately digest food can be hampered due to the lack of needed enzymes.
4. Small intestinal bacterial overgrowth - This is actually a fairly common problem that can happen alongside the damage in the intestines, but doesn't necessarily repair itself when the intestinal walls themselves are starting to recover. In this instance, the bacterial balance in the small intestine changes in two ways -first, the bacteria in the small intestine changes form and becomes more like the bacteria in the colon (which is pretty different.) Secondly, this abnormal bacteria tends to grow faster in the small intestine so that there is simply too much of it around.
5. Undiagnosed sister disease – some patients do not get better very quickly for the simple reason that celiac disease wasn't the whole answer. So many patients as they begin the gluten free diet and continue to have symptomology and difficulty after several months discover that they also have a concurring digestive disorder. The most common of these are microscopic colitis, Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis.
6. Casein ingestion – Some people find that their symptoms do not clear up until they stop consuming Casein as well. Casein is the protein found in almost all dairy products such as milk, yogurt, cheese, ice cream, etc... even breast milk. This reaction is not well studied or proven and is listed here because it is being studied and discussed among researchers, doctors, and patients. I have found for myself that, because the gluten protein is similarly built to the casein protein, I do have more problems for the first few months after a gluten exposure if I continue to eat dairy in large quantities... Bug has found the same thing. That is just my experience however. I'll discuss the theory more in another post. :)
In my case, I have been told that I do probably have refractory sprue. I have not been healing well and even a small exposure can really mess me up for months. Even without exposures, my digestion is not improving a lot. I can have what appears to be random pain that comes and goes and is fairly consistent over months. I have discolored patches of skin causes by the digestion issues in a few areas. As soon as I have insurance, my physician is planning on another upper endoscopy with biopsies to check on the healing process.... or lack there of. I won't deny I am not looking forward to it.
What are your thoughts? Experiences... please share. :)
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2014/07/08
Journey Forth #4 : Some Common Myths about Gluten and Celiac Disease
When I was first starting the process that led to my diagnosis of celiac disease, I heard many things that I found out later either were not true... or the fact that they happened to be true in my case was unusual. So I thought I would write a short post on the most common myths (at least the ones that I have heard) and mention the true facts behind them.
1. Celiac disease is a simple gastrointestinal disease – For people who have celiac, they soon learn that the disease is anything but simple and doesn't only effect the digestive system. As discussed in past posts, this disorder affects every part of the body and some doctors believe that this disease is primarily a neurological one with some symptoms being digestive... and not the other way around. Even if that viewpoint isn't entirely true, the evidence of how this auto immune disorder effects and damages all organs and body systems seems pretty conclusive.
2. Celiac disease is a children's disease – While children are more likely to be diagnosed and diagnosed early, adults have the disorder as well in pretty high numbers. Estimates on undiagnosed adult celiacs range from 1 in 20 to potentially 1 in 6 for simply gluten intolerance. The symptoms tend to be more noticeable and obvious in children and adults tend to have less obvious or more ignorable symptoms... as well as the unfortunate fact that they are also more likely to be wrongly diagnosed. It is estimated that only 5% of celiacs have been diagnosed which makes up about one percent of the American population. Also, this disorder cannot be 'outgrown' and once truly diagnosed... you will have the disease for your entire life. In essence, there is no cure.
3. Celiac disease is the same as a wheat allergy – this really isn't true. While some people with celiac disease also have a wheat allergy (I might be one of those), most do not. Celiac disease is an auto immune disorder and as such the body responds differently than it does to an allergy. While both are dangerous and not problems to take lightly, they are not the same. Those with a wheat allergy can still eat barley and rye, while those with the celiac disease cannot.
4. Eating Gluten makes you fat – This isn't a true statement at all. Many people have started eating gluten free as a diet choice- some celebrities have made it more popular and 'trendy'. When it comes to gaining weight the answer is usually very straight forward... it you take in more calories than you burn, you will gain weight. While there are exceptions, the vast majority of people who start a gluten free diet will actually gain weight for a few reasons. One is that the person's lifestyle hasn't changed at all. Their eating habits, social customs and physical activity levels are what really cause an individual to develop weight gain. Another reason is that gluten free foods are thought by some to have fewer calories in them then their regular counterparts- with few exceptions, that is an erroneous assumption. Gluten free foods tend to have more fat and sugar to balance the lack of gluten protein. In order to make texture, color, and taste more 'normal', these are the ingredients that tend to be tweaked... and are also the main things that cause weight gain. Also, the average person's diet is heavy on grains with fewer legumes, fresh fruits, vegetables, and other foods that are naturally gluten free. Processed food is another factor in weight gain and so simply changing an unhealthy way of eating for an unhealthy diet without gluten doesn't really change much. Last, exercise is important for anyone and most people will gain weight if they tend to be sedentary creatures (anyone seen a thin sloth? :D Just kidding) All in all, most people do not lose weight on the gluten free diet and most individuals will put on some pounds when beginning the diet.
5. People who suffer from Celiac disease are skinny - Hmm, mostly not true. Yes there are a small percentage of people who are too slender due to the symptoms of eating gluten and the damage that it causes to the patient. However, around 40% of people who are diagnosed with celiac are overweight at initial diagnosis. Less than five percent of patients are underweight. So, not only is a person's weight not necessarily a good indicator for diagnosis, it may actually help convince people that they do not have celiac disease simply because of their extra weight... not a credible diagnostic tool.
So... do you have any thoughts on these myths? Know of one that I missed? What are your thoughts?
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2014/07/07
Journey Forth #3 : Celiac Disease and its Ties to other Auto Immune Disorders
Not to start a post with a warning, but I will say that this post will be unpleasant... or maybe even boring depending on your life experiences. I think the topics and the information are really important though so if you are still willing, let's continue our travels. :)
In previous posts, we have discussed the basics of celiac disease, treatment and lifestyle, as well as skin problems that can go hand in hand with the disorder. For the next little bit, I wanted to talk about the numerous auto immune disorders that many patients may have to deal with as well. Because if there is one thing that seems pretty consistent, once you have one autoimmune disorder, your chances of developing another one are pretty high. Risks for several other health problems are pretty high as well and so I think it is important to acknowledge and discuss them for two reasons. One is that many people do not understand or have the knowledge of how these disorders do go together and are then unable to have themselves tested and utilize their medical providers for a full treatment of their symptoms and therefore, to be able to have the best quality of life they can attain. Someone who has celiac disease may attribute strange symptoms to that disorder and not discover and treat the other disorders that ail them. The opposite is true as well and someone with diabetes or severe arthritis may treat that disorder and not recognize that their disorder is so challenging because they also have celiac disease. This knowledge allows them to get tested or if they wish instead, to follow the gluten-free diet for a few months and see how it affects their body and the symptoms from the other diseases. Another important reason to discuss these disorders isn't just for those who need the information personally, but also for their friends, relatives, caregivers, etc... Knowledge is power and creates an awareness of challenges which in turn creates empathy, understanding and advocacy. As the Father has asked us to 'mourn with those that mourn', this insight helps all of us whether affected or not to not only help people as we meet and befriend individuals, but to also not hinder them accidentally in our ignorance. That is my hope any way!
I have not put these disorders in any specific order and so their listing is random. Signs, symptoms and their links to celiac disease could actually take a page or two for each one so I will out of necessity be fairly brief on each one and stick with the very basics. The debate on why people are more likely to develop some of these other disorders is still continuing. One of the most common theories is that undiagnosed celiac disease can potentially 'switch' on a immunological mechanism that can then cause some of these other disorders. However it does happen, what does seem pretty clear is that it is pretty easy for a person with celiac disease to develop another problem... and for someone with one of these other problems to 'catch' celiac disease. :)
Other Auto-immune Disorders
1. Type I Diabetes - This is a chronic lifelong condition in which the pancreas doesn't produce the needed hormone insulin or the body cell's failure to respond properly to insulin caused by insulin resistance. This hormone is needed for digestion to convert our food – the sugars, starches, etc... A complicated and chronic disease, this disorder is characterized by high blood sugar levels in the bloodstream over significant periods of time. Symptoms can include excessive thirst and hunger, frequent urination, fatigue and weight loss, as well as symptoms of neuropathy, inability to quickly heal from injuries, etc... Some studies show that as many as 30% of females with type 1 diabetes also have thyroid disfunction (most commonly Graves disease.) This disease if not well managed can significantly limit the individual's quality of life and usually lowers life expectancy as well.
2. Addison’s disease - a rare autoimmune disorder in the general population, this disease is characterized by insufficiency of the adrenal glands. The body depends on hormones developed by these glands and when enough hormone isn’t produced, the cells in different parts of the body respond; symptoms many include skin darkening, low blood pressure, muscle weakness or pain, hypoglycemia, joint pain, and neurological symptoms including depression and irritability. Other common complaints are nausea and vomiting, abdominal pain, salt cravings, body hair loss as well as weakness and fatigue. In bad cases, this disorder can become life threatening and cause death.
3. Crohn’s disease – most commonly characterized by chronic inflammation of the gastrointestinal tract- most commonly affects the ileum and the beginning of the colon. Symptoms may include diarrhea, rectal bleeding, abdominal cramps and sensations of incomplete evacuation as well as constipation or bowel obstruction. Other common complaints may be fever, weight loss, amenorrhea, fatigue and night sweats. One characteristic of this disorder is that it affects the entire thickness of the bowel wall although it has been known to skip areas… so that there can be a small area of perfectly healthy bowel surrounded by diseased and damaged tissue. (The symptoms of ulcerative colitis are similar, but these disorders are not the same and the areas affected by each are different.)
4. Hashimoto's disease – (also known as autoimmune thyroiditis) An autoimmune disorder of the thyroid that causes inflammation of the gland, but less hormone production- it is actually one of the most common thyroid disorders. Symptoms include fatigue, amenorrhea, intolerance to cold, enlarged goiter, weight gain, skin and hair that is dry and course, a hoarse voice, and neurological problems including forgetfulness, depression and anxiety. This disorder shares a common genetic disposition with celiac disease and some studies show that as many as 4.3% of individuals with this disorder also have documented celiac disease.
5. Graves disease - The most common cause of hyperthyroidism, this autoimmune disorder results in over production of thyroid hormones. Those individuals who have this disorder can suffer from a multitude of symptoms with include both physical (fine tremor, weight loss, enlarged thyroid, infertility, eye discomfort and vision changes, irregular and rapid heartbeat as well as skin abnormalities , etc...) and mental health challenges (anxiety, psychosis, mania, irritability, depression and personality changes.) Some studies show that around 4.5% of individuals with Graves disease also have celiac disease and the thyroid dysfunction most commonly caused by this disorder can cause a worsening of glycemic control and an increased needs for insulin helping to cause an individual to become diabetic or to make their diabetes significantly harder to control.
6. multi focal leucoencephalopathy – A rare disorder that causes damage to the myelin sheath on the nerves in the brain- a tissue that protects and covers all the nerves in the body. The damage causes the axions of the nerve cells to have difficulty communicating with each other and even the inability to do so. The symptoms are diverse due to the fact that this disorder can affect any nerve in the brain... which helps control the nerves in the rest of the body. Some common symptoms that are described by patients are clumsiness, headaches, memory loss, progressive weakness, visual changes, as well as speech and personality changes. This disorder can lead to disability and death.
7. Multiple sclerosis – It seemed fitting to follow up the last disorder with this one. MS is a disease in which the myelin sheath around the nerves is damaged, but the damage is not really restricted to the brain. Affecting the nerves throughout the body, communication and normal response between the nerves and their organs is interrupted and over time the nerves themselves are damaged. While the patient may have periods of time where the symptoms lessen, this damage is permanent. Symptoms include fatigue, tingling and pain in extremities as well as numbness and weakness. Patients may complain of double or blurred vision, problems with speech as well as tremors and a lack of body coordination.
8. Scleroderma – This is an auto immune disorder that is usually classified into two separate forms- localized and systemic. Affecting the connective tissue in the body, the major symptom in the localized form is hardened and sometimes waxy looking skin. In the systemic version, tissues in many organs may start to become hardened and less able to perform their needed functions. This causes many patients to suffer from high blood pressure and other cardiac problems, heartburn and other digestive complaints, as well as dysfunctions in the pulmonary, genitourinary, nervous, and other body systems.
9. Sjogren's syndrome - This immune disorder is caused by a person's white blood cells confusing and attacking the moisture-producing glands in the body. It causes dry eyes and mouth, difficulty with swallowing or chewing, vision problems, teeth cavities,fever, fatigue, vaginal dryness, dry skin and mucosal tissue, swelling, stiffness and joint pain, and enlarged paratoid glands. In sever cases, permanent damage to the liver, kidneys and lungs can result.
Separate Related Disorders
1. Rheumatoid Arthritis - a disorder caused by inflammation that is developed from an auto-immune response created by the body. Symptoms most commonly occur in the fingers and hands, feet and ankles, as well as the knees and the usual complaints are stiffness, localized heat or warmth, and aching or pain in the joints of the body. Over time, deformity in the joints can become prevalent as well.
2. Hepatitis - a medical term that describes the inflammation of the liver as well as inflammatory cells in the tissues that comprise the organ. This disease can be caused by many things including alcohol and viruses- When thinking of gluten sensitivity, the liver finds itself receiving blood that, instead of having finely digested nutrients, is filled with large amounts of undigested food and other waste products that can be toxic to the liver and cause the inflammation that is characteristic of all types of hepatitis. As the liver tries to deal with the unwanted substances, the white blood cells increase as well as the number of liver enzymes which cause irritation to the organ itself… which leads to the inflammation and permanent damage/ scar tissue.
3. Osteoporosis - A disease caused by weakening of the structure of the bones. As the bones are the body's structural foundation, this leaves the individual at risk for injury. It can be caused by either excessive or minimal bone growth and it usually happens without symptoms for a long period of time. Symptoms include breaking bones (easily), loosing height (becoming shorter) and curvatures in the spine.
4. Infertility, miscarriage and menstrual cycle irregularity – Anytime the body is struggling with a limited amount of nutrients for thousands of needy cells, some are going to get short shrift. And if you think about it, reproduction is really something that is a luxury- something that the body should be doing only when it's healthy and ready. While that doesn't always happen, it is fairly common for a nutrient-starved body to decide that it is in its own interest to not reproduce and so in many women, normal menstruation will stop. This can cause infertility on its own, but a lack of nutrients can also cause the eggs themselves to not be viable. I even found a study that suggested that gluten antibodies and damage can be found in the sperm and semen. Miscarriage can happen due to the inability of the body to provide the necessary energy and nutrition for fetus growth.
5. Epilepsy – A seizure disorder causes by inflammation is the brain (and sometimes the body) that manifests itself in a variety of ways including unusual sensations, muscle convulsions or stiffening, periods of staring and sometimes loss of consciousness – symptoms depend on the severity of the disease and where in the brain is affected by the electrical activity that causes the physical signs and symptoms. It is linked to both celiac disease and gluten sensitivity. Some ideas in the current debate as to why these disorders are linked are centered around calcium deposits in the brain and if the nutritional deficiencies themselves may cause the epilepsy.
6. Gluten ataxia – this term describes a neurological response by the body towards gluten which can cause irreversible damage to the cerebellum- the part of the brain hat is primarily responsible for motor control, balance and muscle tone. Due to the damage, individuals with this problem suffer with a loss of coordination in movement and other gross motor skills. Other symptoms may include dizziness, disorientation, problems with focusing by both the eyes and in thought processes, problems with balance as well as difficulty in swallowing or speaking. These symptoms tend to become progressively worse over time as more and more damage is done. It is linked to both celiac disease and gluten sensitivity. (This diagnosis is also still in the early stages of study with some physicians suggesting it isn’t a separate disorder from celiac disease… or even suggesting that it doesn’t exist at all.)
7. lactose intolerance – One of the few non chronic problems associated with celiac disease, it is caused by the systemic damage to the micro-villi in the intestines that destroys and limits the body's ability to break down lactose. The enzymes that help break down lactose are found in very small qualities in the micro-villi and are destroyed along with the intestinal wall upon gluten consumption. This problem usually resolves itself after a gluten free diet is instituted for a significant amount of time and the villi are able to begin to heal themselves and repopulate their enzymes in the 'brush borders' – also know as the micro-villi. The problem usually returns after renewed gluten consumption and intestinal damage.
8. vitamin / mineral deficiencies – This is a major difficulty for the newly diagnosed celiac and one that can take a significant amount of time and attention by the individual to attempt to repair. As the consumption of gluten causes the damage to the intestines, adequate absorption is limited and less able to be successfully managed. Some common deficiencies in this population are calcium, iron, zinc, many of the B vitamins as well as vitamins D and E. The 'cure' is to take great care to consume only items that have no gluten and, in some cases, to use supplements as well until the intestines are healing well enough to resume more normal digestion and absorption. As deficiencies in many of these vitamins and minerals are needed for normal function of many organs and body symptoms, it isn't really surprising when parts of the body start to fail or find themselves unable to heal and function normally.
A short list of other honorable mentions :)
Anemia, migraines, myopathy dementia, gall bladder malfunction, Raynaud's phenomenon, peripheral neuropathy, pancreatic insufficiency, many forms of gastro intestinal cancers, primary sclerosing cholangitis, juvenile idiopathic arthritis, idiopathic dilated cardiomyopathy, ulcerative colitis, microscopic colitis.... and probably many more that I missed. Whew!
That was a pretty long list... sort of depressing too! But a lot to think and talk about. As far as I know, celiac disease is the only auto immune disorder that I have... although my doctor is getting ready to test for two others. I have certainly struggled with infertility and serious nutritional deficiencies. I have started to show the signs of arthritis and Dry Eye Syndrome which is cause by immuno-inflammation. Otherwise, well I'm pretty good :)
Any thoughts on this? What experiences with yourself and others can you share? Did you read this post and wonder about your own health and the possibility of having more than one disorder when you become introspective and look at your current medical diagnoses? What are your thoughts?
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2014/07/05
Journey Forth #2 : The Dietary Needs of Celiac Disease Along with Skin Challenges
In principle, a gluten free diet is quite a simple thing. An individual who avoids four specific foods that carry the gluten protein / amino acids are safe and can refrain from more damage, but also begin healing as well. Those foods are wheat, barley, rye and triticale. That seems pretty easy on the surface especially if you look at the list of flours and foods you can eat- sorghum, soy, seeds, tapioca, teff, wild rice, yucca, amaranth, arrowroot, buckwheat, cassava, corn, flax, Indian rice grass, legumes, millet, nuts, potatoes, quinoa, rice, soy, beans, vegetables, fruit, most dairy and meat, eggs, etc... However, that is where the simplicity ends.
For anyone who doesn't cook... or cannot afford fresh and unprocessed food, the challenge has just begun because an individual who tries to navigate the waters of grocery shopping can become seriously depressed. Fresh food is great and healthy, but pretty expensive. Processed gluten free foods are becoming easy to get, but there is not a lot of choice (most of it is desserts, bread or mixes) and they are also expensive- sometimes several times more money than the 'regular' product. (An example would be bread... the average price of wheat bread is around $2 or less... a gluten free loaf is usually at least $5.) And gluten is in everything else... it's in soups, spices, drinks, dairy products, snack foods, and almost anything you can buy to eat. It's also in almost all personal care products, medicines, and cleaners too. To add a little more difficulty, gluten-free food is usually not fortified with extra vitamins and minerals so it is more crucial that balanced and appropriate foods are consumed. So, for the most mildly affected, they need only navigate the complicated food maze of shopping and cooking and only worry about personal care products that can accidentally be ingested such as lip balm, medicines, mouthwash... some basics that some people do not use anyway. But for the more challenged, the more sensitive... for those whose immune systems are completely 'wacked out', they are in serious trouble. (I will admit that I made up that scientific term :)
For most celiacs, the skin is a great barrier not only for protection from many disease, dehydration and from gluten. Holding a pile of flour in their hand is nothing if they wash carefully and wandering into a bakery with the air full of the smells of fresh bread and wheat is only a tease to a person who cannot taste. To those, the majority of celiacs, I am a bit jealous. I have found that sometimes I do not even have the luxury of recognizing the 'smell' of the baking and the gluten that has been atomized in the air before I am struggling to breathe and heaving... bent over and sometimes vomiting with a strength and a lack of control I didn't know I possessed. There are many places I will not go due to this extreme reaction that my body and my mind can not seem to control. If I go into a place and start to not feel well or suspect that there is very little chance of being able to avoid exposure or illness, I leave. I may be angry, sad, frustrated... but I leave anyway. It's just too terrible to contemplate the pain and distress of an exposure... the pain and vomiting that lasts for weeks, the shaking, twitching, itching, headaches... no church activity, no community activity is worth it to me. I've tried too many times and suffered for sometimes months afterward to really risk that much again. One challenge that I have is that my skin is not a good barrier; while it does protect me from many diseases and most dehydration, it is an unloaded shield against gluten.
Skin conditions that can go hand in hand with celiac disease range from the 'simple' to the more complex. Only two conditions – that of hives and of Dermatitis Herpetiformis- can be clearly labeled a cause/effect of the disease. These others are still under study by researchers and medical professionals to determine which came first... the celiac or the skin disorder. It is unknown why some of these disorders occur together so frequently; wether they share common genetic roots or that gluten may be a common trigger. where aren't too many so I'll give some basic information on them with the formerly mentioned first. :)
1. Hives – This word describes a rash or outbreak of red bumps on the surface of the skin that are warm, itchy and usually appear quite suddenly upon either contact or ingestion of a product/object that someone is allergic to – some common allergies that cause this form of swelling and rash are peanuts, cats, bug bites, etc... This is not a very common side affect in celiac disorder and is highly debated in the medical community with some for and some against. I have sometimes gotten hives from external contact with gluten and I do very much avoid it as I have felt sick or had some symptoms afterwords – this has happened EVEN when I didn't know the gluten was there and actually thought the food or product was safe. Other people have reported hives after gluten exposures on the cheeks and arms/wrists.
2. Dermatitis Herpetiformis – this is a painful and itchy skin manifestation of the disease. For many people affected, they will feel minimal digestive complaints so this is usually diagnosed with a biopsy of the sores and bumps on the skin which are caused by the immune system in the intestine itself producing an antibody that enters the bloodstream and can collect in the small blood vessels in the skin, causing the sores and rashes. This quirk in the celiac disorder affects more men than women and the skin problems usually resolve with the gluten free diet and usually are not exacerbated by touching gluten- very much an inside the body sort of thing. And I must stress that this skin manifestation is in no way related to the herpes virus – this is a problem with gluten and celiac disease, pure and simple. These blisters are painful and can be very challenging to hide which adds to the stress of the situation for the affected individual. It is also very often confused for other problems including bug bites and allergies, eczema, dermatitis herpetiformis, hives and contact dermatitis and psoriasis.
3. Psoriasis – This disease causes the skin to become thick, scaly looking and red. It is caused when the immune system sends out faulty signals that tend to speed up the growth cycle of the epidermis layer of skin cells and is thought to be one of the most common autoimmune disorders in the United States. So skin cells that would take weeks to reach and replace the outer layers of skin would now arrive at the surface of the skin within days and it is this action that causes the common symptoms. Many patients often have high levels of gluten antibodies in their blood even if they haven't been previously diagnosed. In some individuals, psoriasis will not only affect the the skin but the joints and will develop arthritis as part of the disorder.
4. Acne – The bacteria filled, painful bumps and 'whiteheads' that can form on the face and the rest of the body are fairly well known to many people- especially teenagers. They can be caused by general hormone fluctuations, but in celiac disease, they are thought to form from hormonal imbalances caused by the malabsorption of nutrients... robbing the body's systems of the correct tools it needs for homeostasis.
5. Dry Skin (chronic) – This is very common in those individuals affected by celiac disease and in its mild to moderate forms are pretty easy to control by lotions and even supplements. It is thought to be caused from the lack of nutrients that are able to get to the skin due to the inability to absorb nutrients and it has been found that thought who follow the gluten free diet may still be deficient in some of the skins specific nourishing needs (such as vitamin E) due to removing most or all grains from their diet... even the 'safe' ones. For individuals whose bodies are really unable to recover from the gastrointestinal damage that has been caused, this can be a life long problem.
6. Alopecia Areata- This auto immune condition attacks the hair follicles causing the hair to fall out and in some cases, fail to regrow even with treatment. While the majority of sufferers develop bald spots on the scalp, other areas of the body can be affected as well including areas of beard growth. Some individuals also report symptoms of skin tingling or pain in the areas of hair loss. There is some evidence that living a gluten free lifestyle can change the health of the hair follicles and allow for healing and some hair regrowth... but it is certainly not a given! Also, an individual with celiac disease who continues to eat gluten can get alopecia from nutritional deficiencies from the malabsorption of nutrients- these deficiencies include iron, vitamin C and the B's, biotin, selenium, calcium and protein.
7. Eczema – This is a skin condition that is more likely to affect people who already have some problems with allergies. The skin develops inflammation and raised bumps or areas of severe irritability. Depending on the affected individuals skin color, the affected areas make look reddish to brownish color or may look lighter or darker than the skin around it. All the stricken areas tend to also appear dry with thickened or even scaly skin. No matter what the rash or discoloration looks like, it is always itchy! This disorder is found more often in children and there is growing evidence linking the development of eczema in those with celiac disease.
8. Keratin Pilaris – This skin condition usually manifests itself through tiny goosebumps- like marks on the skin that feel a little bit like rubbing a shark skin the wrong way or even mild sandpaper. They are most common on the back of the upper arms or on the back itself, but can also be found on other parts of the body on the skin. When they appear on the face, they can sometimes be mistaken for acne. They are more likely to be more prevalent in winter or in an environment that is cooler with a lower air moisture content. The good news is that while this spots are not pretty and may be distressing to the person who suffers from them, they rarely hurt, itch, or do anything that caused discomfort to the patient. This disorder is also common amongst individuals who also have eczema.
I am extremely lucky. While I have challenges with dry skin often and hives occasionally, my health has not been affected by any of these skin disorders. As research continues on into the causes and needs of all of these disorders, I am hopeful that many of them will become more rare and less challenging for those who have to live with them. Are you or anyone you know affected by any of these skin disorders? If so, do you have any experience with any of the potential links above? Have you been tested for antibodies or attempted the gluten free diet for symptom relief? If you have followed a gluten free diet for a while, will you share your thoughts on it and how it has helped (or not helped) you and your health? Any tips for those navigating the beginnings of gluten elimination in the diet. Please share!
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2014/07/04
Journey Forth #1 : What is Celiac Disease and its Common Symptoms
So, what is celiac disease... also known as celiac sprue, non-tropical sprue and gluten sensitive enteropathy? The easiest definition is that it is an genetic autoimmune disorder which is caused by the body's hyper response to gluten in its system. When gluten is ingested and the patient is exposed, the proteins cause the immune system to produce antibodies (transglutaminase or tTG) that cause damage to the intestinal system- mostly to the small intestinal villi. At a minimum, the small intestines are damaged and they can no longer fully aid in digestion and nutrient absorption. So no matter how much the individual eats, they will be unable to get the nutrients needed from their food... or even supplements, causing many of the symptoms that characterize the disorder. And in severe cases, the intestines develop small holes which can cause leakage into the other areas of the body. It affects on average 1 in 100 people around the world and it is estimated that in America alone, over two million people are currently undiagnosed leaving themselves open to serious long term health consequences. Some doctors suggest that celiac disease is primarily a nearological disease and that the intestinal damage itself is a symptom... and not just a 'cause'.
The list of common symptoms is actually quite long... this post would probably be a page longer if I described all the symptoms that have been attributed to celiac sprue. No patient will have all of these symptoms (at least I hope not!) and many will only have a few of them. However, no matter how you look at it, these symptoms cover more than just the digestive system which explains why this disorder affects the individual in almost all aspects of their life.
Abdominal pain and cramps
ADHD - like behavior
Anxiety, depression and 'foggy mind'
Bloating and gas
Bone and joint pain
Canker sores
Chronic fatigue, sometimes 'knock out' sleep
Constipation or diarrhea
Emotional challenges including anger and irritability
Headaches and migraines
Missed menstrual periods, infertility and miscarriages
Nausea / vomiting
Restless leg syndrome
Rheumatoid arthritis
Tingling in the extremities
In some ways, I am very typical. I have struggled with canker sores since my childhood and have thrown up at least once a day since the age of sixteen until a few months after diagnosis and the subsequent dietary changes. One thing about the vomiting is that the abdominal pain would lessen or disappear after throwing up... a blessing in the yuck. :) I can sometimes struggle with depression, but most of the time my major emotional changes focus around anxiety and irritability. I have been told several times I am infertile (Bug is the best miracle I have ever received!) and I have never had a regular cycle until about a year after dietary changes. I have struggled with headaches, random abdominal pain and sometimes I wake up because my legs are shifting and 'twitching' while I'm resting. I also tend to feel tired all the time and sleep is something that I am not very successful with as often as I would like.
There is only one treatment for celiac disorder that is effective and allows the individual to lead a relatively healthy, normal life. The patient must adhere to a strict diet that is free from gluten and its proteins. Even the smallest amount of gluten, such as crumbs from wheat toast or a smidgeon of regular soy sauce can cause the unwanted immune response. Also, those individuals who are most sensitive can get an exposure not just from eating gluten, but from breathing it in or getting gluten into sores and other openings in the skin. And while it takes only a short amount of time for the damage to start, it takes weeks and even months for the healing to be effective enough for digestion to get back to a decent absorption rate. And for some, they may never recover fully due to the extensive damage done to the intestinal walls and villi. Depending on how long it took the patient to be diagnosed and to change their diet and lifestyle, there could be only small amounts of damage... or years worth of serious impairment and harm. In my case, when I was diagnosed with the disorder with the usual endoscopy and the unusual over forty biopsies, I was over thirty years old and the damage was pretty bad. My physician said that my stomach and the first several feet of small intestine looked like shattered and splintered glass. The pictures I've seen are quite horrifying and when I look at them and try to imagine what I see 'inside' me it's challenging. It's not difficult to understand why I tend to feel so much pain though. :)
There is a big difference between celiac disease and gluten sensitivity although it is not as easily seen. The big difference is that people with gluten sensitivity have the majority of the symptoms, but they do not have the intestinal damage as part of the package- the autoimmune part isn't their burden. Don't get me wrong- their bodies sensitivity to gluten is still uncomfortable and probably many other descriptive words. But the immune system doesn’t try to tear apart the body and that my friends, it a wonderful thing! How a person is diagnosed is quite simple. If you have the problems with gluten, but have no antibodies in your blood and a clean endoscopy.... then you are simply gluten sensitive. (Living it isn’t quite that simple, but I digress.)
So here is the first part of the journey! Next up I'll write about the a few of the less common problems – such as skin trouble as well as appropriate food and items to avoid. Thoughts...?
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2014/07/03
Start of a Journey: Discussions on Celiac Disease
If there is one thing I have learned over the last several years after my diagnosis with celiac disease, it is that this disorder is so complex and causes so many different challenges to the body that even those who have been diagnosed and struggled with the disorder for years still find that their knowledge may not explain all the questions and concerns that they uncover going forward in their lives. I still have so many questions that my physician cannot easily answer or that science hasn't discovered an answer for yet that I find trying to explain the condition to some one who has never had it and make sure they truly understand feels near impossible for a few reasons. One reason is that every person with celiac sprue is different and exposure, heredity, years before diagnosis, and past eating habits can make a really big difference in how the disease is perceived and managed. The confusion that some people feel from knowing both individuals with celiac disease and also from knowing individuals with gluten sensitivity and not knowing the differences between the two disorders as well as the other differences mentioned above is truly understandable. After some recent conversations with a few friends and a wonderful Relief Society President, I have decided to try and take the opportunity to explain the basics about the disorder but also to explain how it affects me... understanding that my experience is not nor can it be the same as anyone elses. My symptoms, my challenges all may be different from the majority of other patients. What I can do is try my best to explain what I do know to the best of my ability- allowing people to correct me in the comments or mention their own experiences and try to start a conversation that will bring more understanding and acceptance for those of us who struggle with it, but also to those around us... who want to help and are not sure how and don't really understand what all the fuss is about anyway. :)
So I am going to break down the information into different posts based on topic and space as its actually a lot of a convoluted information. I will try and cover the most common symptoms as well as sister disorders. I think it's also worthwhile covering long term problems, foods both allowed and unacceptable, and other topics that may become a part of the life of someone with celiac disease. If anyone reading this has questions, wants to add things, etc... please do not hesitate to comment. Let's start a conversation and help and educate each other! That will make the effort that I am putting forth now worthwhile and a joy indeed.
2014/01/07
Balanced Living in the New Year
So its a new year! As is traditional with many people at this time of year, I have made a few resolutions. One of them is to do my very best to improve my health and try to get my immune system to be less explosive and destructive towards my physique – I don't mind it attacking and slaughtering cold germs. :) I will admit that this goal will be a little challenging because there is much I can't really change. Celiac disease has really demolished a great deal of my body organizations. So much of my digestive processes are unable to work well anymore and as my immune system has caused so much periphery injury to other organs as well. Those are things that I can't change, but I can hope to try and make it possible for my body to attempt to heal faster... to try and help my immune system to be less reactive and over responsive... to take more time and give more focus towards the physical frame that keeps me able to live in this complicated world and my confusing and necessary probation toward eternity. Add to all of that the stumbling of my heart and the struggles it faces to hold its rhythm steady and constant... to not race and fall into the trap of super ventricular tachycardia and the palpitations it causes.
However, there are a few things that I can try and my doctor is agreeable. One thing that I can do is to focus more on pure food and to really spend more time paying attention to what I do eat. I tend to look at all food with a skeptical eye... I watch for gluten in not only food, but everything else in my life- laundry detergent, hair care products, cat litter, hand lotion... I could go on forever, because it seems like gluten is in everything. I have spent so much time with a fierce focus on whether something has gluten in it and whether I can eat it that I have tended in the last few years to not really ask the next important question; “Should I eat it?” And as my finances have become a little shakier, cheaper food that might not be as healthy has been much more attractive. But over the last few months, I have found some ways to get fresh vegetables that are cheaper than most and as I have been sick and busy, I haven't felt like eating which has also helped keep less healthy food out. But I am going back to a process I was required to do by my physician earlier last year and I have been documenting everything I eat from the portion of fish to the tiniest measurement of vinegar. I can then break it down into calories, daily requirements and vitamins and make sure that I am getting most of the necessary elements that I need and can hopefully over time need fewer supplements and maybe my body can start to heal a little faster. It would be nice to only take two of three medications daily by the end of the year instead of almost ten tablets daily. :) (If you would like to have a basic checklist for your daily physical intakes in both elements and major needs such as fat and protein, you can go here and see the one that I am using. Its been quite useful to me!)
Along with more awareness and a renewed concentration on my diet and food, I also want to try to create more balance in my life... maybe become more mindful on my thoughts, activities and take more time to visualize he future and what I would like to accomplish. I think I have allowed myself to fall into a little bit of a rut in both attitude and behavior... letting life buffet me along in its wake and not struggling constantly to stay focused on the most important things: service, friends, family, the gospel. Meeting basic needs and trying to come to terms with my ex's choices as well as school, work and all else has kept me more centered on temporal things and not necessarily things that are the most important over time. I would like to work over the next few months to bring my mind back to a more settled state and to bring my energy back to my priorities... what is really important and what really matters to me. Funnily enough, I think this part of the goal will be the most challenging. Balance and mindfulness has never been a strong suit in my case. But I want to try!
What kind of resolutions have you decided to attempt this year... and what safeguards have you set up to keep you focused on continuing your goal? Please share!
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temporal
2011/10/24
What Motivates me to be a Leader and other Thoughts....
I have a few different thoughts on the first question; about what motivates me to be a leader. A few weeks ago, my easy answer would have been that nothing motivates me to be a leader and that I do not want to be one (leader). One thing I have learned is that whether I want to be a leader or not I am a leader. I am a mom... for a little while I will still be a wife... and I have a life and a spark and an energy that should be used and not squandered in confusion, misunderstanding and self pity. So what motivates me to be a leader...? Well, if I am going to be a leader (understanding that I will be a leader whether I 'want' to or not') I want to be the best leader that I can. I want to make change and help others and bring financial security to myself. I want to set up my life in a way that I am utilizing the little time I have on this planet to the best of my abilities at the time... and hope that as I try, my abilities will become honed and more able to tackle the difficulties that I will face in my future.
There is a line in book six of the 'Harry Potter' series where Harry and Dumbledore are discussing the prophecy that has caused Lord Voldemort to chase Harry his whole life. In that paragraph, Dumbledore discusses the idea that Harry does have choices and he is not bound to follow the prophecy. At that time, Harry realizes that he has made a choice... and even though that choice was difficult and had large consequences attached to it, he smiles because while the situation hasn't changed... how Harry looks at it has. And as the character states : 'that makes all the difference in the world.' I feel in some ways that I am in a parallel situation... minus the mortal danger from Voldemort, that is. :) I can see myself as being forced into choices by other people... or I can see that they are making their choices and while those choices do affect me and my life, I can see how to make my own decisions. I can look at the situation less personally, more critically and see the blessings and positives that shine out of the gently woven tapestry of my life that seem s currently dark, drab, and limited. Even changing my mindset to look for the changes is a metaphoric golden thread that can help bring light and opportunities into my life.
I have several sources of motivation that I have been able to discover in my life. I think that a few might be more prescient right now and might even be motivations that everyone has because they are more instinct than motivation. I will have to let you be the judge. One thing that motivates me is my severe sensory issues. I do not always understand why I do some of the things that I do and why I do or do not like some things. Over the last few years as I have discovered that I do have sensory problems that that some of the things I do are considered truly 'normal' for someone with my condition who hasn't been treated, I have discovered that my body and mind instinctively react in ways that are not truly necessary or positive. However, rationally understanding this fact doesn't change the way my body/ mind react to a sensory assault. Some things such as smells I have worked really hard and have made progress on getting past the difficulties that they can give me. Some things such as water and noise, I have made little to no progress on and will probably need professional help to overcome. Along with the sensory problems is my gluten allergy- so severe that a small exposure can set me back 20 pounds in one week and take quite literally months to recover from. The motivation to stay safe from both sensory and food hazards is a huge motivator for me and I limit myself in many ways due to my concern and fear of pain, discomfort, and instinctive reactions that are not entirely under my control. (One reason I know that these two things are highly motivating is that I am willing to overcome a few other challenges to put them first in my mind. I try to hide in groups and be the same and blend in... but if confronted with something that challenges my sensory system or potential gluten exposure, I will stand up and stick out until I feel the situation is safe again or I have left. I am the person on the airplane that will make sure that nobody in several rows around me gets to eat a sandwich which doesn't make me very popular... but it keeps me safe and well. : D ) One other motivation is work- I truly like to be busy and I enjoy working towards goals or helping other people.
Service is a big motivator for me and I really like how I feel afterwords.... like a little spark has been kindled in my heart and that I truly deserve a small break to enjoy the glow from the spark and a brief rest- I think that brief spark could be called joy. I m motivated to earn money and I am willing to do almost anything to earn it so that I feel secure. I think this motivation would be less strong if I did have more financial means and I wasn't always struggling to just hold my head about water. So I am a jack- of -all -trades and I work for the post office when they need me, teach CPR and first aid a few hours a week, take on freelance genealogy jobs, and I use websites to not only help me save money, but to earn a little bit as well. I am selling some of my belongings through Uncle Henry's and Ebay and I sometimes help people with some shopping for a little extra cash. On top of that add school and if I seem frazzled... well, I am! :O I am motivated by external concerns such as good grades, social status, what others say they think of me... and I am also motivated by a sense of satisfaction at a job well done. I feel inspired to help whenever anyone seems to need help … even if I am not sure what to do. I feel motivated sometimes in such a strong manner towards helping someone or working that I can often puss myself past my physical limit- in some ways my spirit is too willing... and my flesh too weak. ; )
I have quite a few extrinsic motivations if I think about it and look at my former thoughts. I am motivated my money, winning over others, teaching (which can be a form of power), and social status in the form of positive 'carrots'- I need to have good grades, feel liked, get praise, etc... Those carrots are very important for my happiness and to minimize my chronic case of low self esteem. If I was to place these motivations into an order from the most motivating to the least, the list would look a bit like this:
1. Social Status
2. Monetary Compensation
3. Winning Over Others
4. Having Power
There are so many traps that I could find myself entangled in through these extrinsic motivations. I can see myself doing things for money which could violate my personal or religious code as well as the laws of my community. I can see myself being willing to do things to please others that do not please myself... simply to feel that I have made someone else happy or made their lives easier. I defer to people that I have a perception of having a higher social status- which can have its ironies considering my liberal and feminist bent. I defer to people that I see as more knowledgeable than myself, have titles such as Dr., Professor, etc... and I also defer to all men in priesthood roles in my church (this can be a bad thing and isn’t necessarily church doctrine... I think I learned that at home as a child and even my liberal feminist bent hasn't changed that pattern of thinking.) Some of the ways to avoid becoming trapped in these external cycles of motivation are easy to state, but not as easy to put into practice. Working on understanding myself and developing appropriate self esteem would help me to avoid the problems that I can develop from doing things that other's want that I am not sure are a good idea. Developing confidence and self esteem will make it more possible to say 'no' and feel comfortable with my decision no matter what the reaction it provokes. Sometimes I think I say 'yes' so that people do not get mad... or I am concerned that they will not like me... but sometimes the answer really should be 'no.' One important way to avoid getting lost in some of these external traps is to recognize where your weakness are. By understanding the difficulty I have in one area (such as saying 'no'), I can recognize situations easier that might be a problem for me. Understanding my weaknesses can help me to learn compensatory techniques and also ways to deal with my difficulties. It is impossible to work with and understand a weakness that a person doesn't actually understand or acknowledge that they have. That's my thoughts at any rate.
I seem to have a good mixing of intrinsic motivations as well. I feel excited and inspired to help others, I feel joy at a job well done, I want to be true to my beliefs, and I like to be surrounded with people that I care about and people who care about me. If I was to place these motivations into an order from the most motivating to the least, the list would look a lot like this:
1. Making a difference in the world
2. Being associated with people I care about and care about me
3. Helping others
4. Satisfaction in my work and private life
5. Being true to my beliefs
Looking at these lists side by side – I actually printed them out and lay the paper in front of me to study- I found a few interesting things. The first that seemed fairly obvious is that my external motivations are really almost at 'war' with my internal motivations. Social Status and monetary compensation when put first (as I have done) on the list doesn't really compute with the first two on my internal motivations list. The first list (extrinsic motivations) appears to be more of what I tend to follow when push comes to shove... and that is a shocking realization for me. In fact, that seems fairly shallow and self centered... and those words are not words I would ever have thought to use to describe myself. It appears to me that I need to take some time to look at both of these lists more fully and really look at the major motivator behind most of my extrinsic motivations- which appears to be fear. In the past I have recognized that I have some aspects of fear in some parts of my life, but I do not think I have recognized until now how much fear actually rules my life and my choices.
After chewing on the ideas that I mentioned above I thought of a few situations in my life where I have had trouble: i.e, I had conflicts between my external and internal motivations. Looking at those situations I seem to have found a pattern. If pushed too hard, the external motivations were given first shot and I rarely felt very satisfied with the outcome. In fact, I didn't feel satisfied or happy at all... and maybe that is the point. Maybe I need to get past my fear to stick up for myself and others and that will help me to find my joy and 'sweet spot.' I really think that the major reason that I do cave to people is fear and while the reasons for the fear maybe different in these situations... its effects are the same. I feel closed off, unhappy, confused, and certainly unsure and sometimes I feel too much pressure and I just want to run. I haven't run for years though... that's a good step!
I then tried to take both lists and put them together in the 'true' order that I think they are actually formulated in my life- as I doubt we divide our thought and actions into separate lists very often. Here is what the finished product looked like. It actually changed quite a bit in the thought process. An asterisk shows an intrinsic motivation.
1. Having power (this moved to the top because I began to see power as a form of control... and if you are fearful you are more likely to control the things around you and have that need to control. And the more I thought about it, this placement made more sense.)
2. Monetary Compensation (as long as I feel poor and unable to even buy the medicines to keep me healthy I think this will always rank high... especially as I seem to have proven to myself that I am willing to work long hours for little compensation.)
3. Helping Others *
4. Being associated with people I care about and care about me*
5. Social Status
6. Making a difference in the world*
7. Winning over others
8. Satisfaction in my work and private life *
9. Being true to my beliefs *
I did wonder if because of the way I interpreted power if it should be both asterisk free and have an asterisk, but I did leave it asterisk free for now.
Unfortunately, I am not really sure that I am very impressed with the above list. Oh well... at least it was as honest as I could make it due to my thoughts and understanding. :) I think I have several capabilities and strengths. I am not afraid of work and I have a love of learning. I am fairly tolerant and very generous to others. I am great at bringing a smile to the face of other people and working to listen and help in the areas that people feel most needy. I am quite loyal and even when someone has caused me great difficulty and even rejected me and who I am , I find it easy to continue in some ways supporting them and doing the things they need. :) I think I am also pretty strong and can function and sustain a fairly large emotional and physical load for a long period of time which gives me more options and solutions of problems than some people have. I have a great deal of experience with dealing with people in crisis and with serious difficulties- such as substance abuse, domestic violence, mental illness, developmental disabilities and poverty.
But I would be remiss if I didn't mention some of my challenges and weaknesses. I do not have a lot of confidence in myself and I am very likely to place my trust in others even if I am not really comfortable with their conclusions. I find myself sometimes forgoing the care of myself to help someone else... which in the long run affects both me and the other individuals negatively. I have some difficulties with consistency and I do have a strong emotional base that I can find quite difficult to hide at times... especially in situations where I feel hurt, threatened or harmed.
So looking at my strengths and my listed motivations, here is a list I came up with for areas where the two groups seem to combine or can be blended.
1. I have a great need to help others out of poverty and to help myself out of poverty as well.
2. I have experience and a great love of helping people in difficult circumstances get out of those circumstances.
3. I am strong and can help someone with difficulties for a long time so that they can have help consistently for a better and more positive outcome over the long term.
It seems to me that there are a few situations where I would be quite successful and find some joy and peace in my decisions.
1. I could work towards becoming a foster parent for developmental disabled children and even a long term adoptive parent.
2. I could finish my degree and get work as a social worker in areas that I have strengths in such as children, substance abuse, child protective services, and mental illness.
3. I could start a not for profit for helping children and adults with disabilities in my area have the resources that they need to be more successful, more healthy, and to be more productive members of society.
There are probably other things that I could do, but these were the few that not only first came to mind, but have been popping into my head over the last few weeks as ideas for my future that seem reasonable and I also find fairly exciting and energetic about. All three would take a huge amount of time, energy, and also would require that I expend a bit of time, energy and focus on continued building of my strengths and capabilities. All three would require learning and development in areas that I do have strengths but not necessarily the knowledge that is needed. I would also need to work with people who do not necessarily think like me and have strengths and difficulties in different areas of their lives which can help me to grow in understanding, generosity, and joy. This list helps me to feel hopeful and also seems to be helping me to discover a new direction in my life which sounds difficult and challenging, but worthwhile, exciting and downright fun and rewarding. I have already started to make priority lists for all three to ponder and really think about to see where my energy and time should best be focused. Some parts of the future look quite exciting now. :)



I have quite a few extrinsic motivations if I think about it and look at my former thoughts. I am motivated my money, winning over others, teaching (which can be a form of power), and social status in the form of positive 'carrots'- I need to have good grades, feel liked, get praise, etc... Those carrots are very important for my happiness and to minimize my chronic case of low self esteem. If I was to place these motivations into an order from the most motivating to the least, the list would look a bit like this:
1. Social Status
2. Monetary Compensation
3. Winning Over Others
4. Having Power
There are so many traps that I could find myself entangled in through these extrinsic motivations. I can see myself doing things for money which could violate my personal or religious code as well as the laws of my community. I can see myself being willing to do things to please others that do not please myself... simply to feel that I have made someone else happy or made their lives easier. I defer to people that I have a perception of having a higher social status- which can have its ironies considering my liberal and feminist bent. I defer to people that I see as more knowledgeable than myself, have titles such as Dr., Professor, etc... and I also defer to all men in priesthood roles in my church (this can be a bad thing and isn’t necessarily church doctrine... I think I learned that at home as a child and even my liberal feminist bent hasn't changed that pattern of thinking.) Some of the ways to avoid becoming trapped in these external cycles of motivation are easy to state, but not as easy to put into practice. Working on understanding myself and developing appropriate self esteem would help me to avoid the problems that I can develop from doing things that other's want that I am not sure are a good idea. Developing confidence and self esteem will make it more possible to say 'no' and feel comfortable with my decision no matter what the reaction it provokes. Sometimes I think I say 'yes' so that people do not get mad... or I am concerned that they will not like me... but sometimes the answer really should be 'no.' One important way to avoid getting lost in some of these external traps is to recognize where your weakness are. By understanding the difficulty I have in one area (such as saying 'no'), I can recognize situations easier that might be a problem for me. Understanding my weaknesses can help me to learn compensatory techniques and also ways to deal with my difficulties. It is impossible to work with and understand a weakness that a person doesn't actually understand or acknowledge that they have. That's my thoughts at any rate.
I seem to have a good mixing of intrinsic motivations as well. I feel excited and inspired to help others, I feel joy at a job well done, I want to be true to my beliefs, and I like to be surrounded with people that I care about and people who care about me. If I was to place these motivations into an order from the most motivating to the least, the list would look a lot like this:
1. Making a difference in the world
2. Being associated with people I care about and care about me
3. Helping others
4. Satisfaction in my work and private life
5. Being true to my beliefs
Looking at these lists side by side – I actually printed them out and lay the paper in front of me to study- I found a few interesting things. The first that seemed fairly obvious is that my external motivations are really almost at 'war' with my internal motivations. Social Status and monetary compensation when put first (as I have done) on the list doesn't really compute with the first two on my internal motivations list. The first list (extrinsic motivations) appears to be more of what I tend to follow when push comes to shove... and that is a shocking realization for me. In fact, that seems fairly shallow and self centered... and those words are not words I would ever have thought to use to describe myself. It appears to me that I need to take some time to look at both of these lists more fully and really look at the major motivator behind most of my extrinsic motivations- which appears to be fear. In the past I have recognized that I have some aspects of fear in some parts of my life, but I do not think I have recognized until now how much fear actually rules my life and my choices.
After chewing on the ideas that I mentioned above I thought of a few situations in my life where I have had trouble: i.e, I had conflicts between my external and internal motivations. Looking at those situations I seem to have found a pattern. If pushed too hard, the external motivations were given first shot and I rarely felt very satisfied with the outcome. In fact, I didn't feel satisfied or happy at all... and maybe that is the point. Maybe I need to get past my fear to stick up for myself and others and that will help me to find my joy and 'sweet spot.' I really think that the major reason that I do cave to people is fear and while the reasons for the fear maybe different in these situations... its effects are the same. I feel closed off, unhappy, confused, and certainly unsure and sometimes I feel too much pressure and I just want to run. I haven't run for years though... that's a good step!
I then tried to take both lists and put them together in the 'true' order that I think they are actually formulated in my life- as I doubt we divide our thought and actions into separate lists very often. Here is what the finished product looked like. It actually changed quite a bit in the thought process. An asterisk shows an intrinsic motivation.
1. Having power (this moved to the top because I began to see power as a form of control... and if you are fearful you are more likely to control the things around you and have that need to control. And the more I thought about it, this placement made more sense.)
2. Monetary Compensation (as long as I feel poor and unable to even buy the medicines to keep me healthy I think this will always rank high... especially as I seem to have proven to myself that I am willing to work long hours for little compensation.)
3. Helping Others *
4. Being associated with people I care about and care about me*
5. Social Status
6. Making a difference in the world*
7. Winning over others
8. Satisfaction in my work and private life *
9. Being true to my beliefs *
I did wonder if because of the way I interpreted power if it should be both asterisk free and have an asterisk, but I did leave it asterisk free for now.
Unfortunately, I am not really sure that I am very impressed with the above list. Oh well... at least it was as honest as I could make it due to my thoughts and understanding. :) I think I have several capabilities and strengths. I am not afraid of work and I have a love of learning. I am fairly tolerant and very generous to others. I am great at bringing a smile to the face of other people and working to listen and help in the areas that people feel most needy. I am quite loyal and even when someone has caused me great difficulty and even rejected me and who I am , I find it easy to continue in some ways supporting them and doing the things they need. :) I think I am also pretty strong and can function and sustain a fairly large emotional and physical load for a long period of time which gives me more options and solutions of problems than some people have. I have a great deal of experience with dealing with people in crisis and with serious difficulties- such as substance abuse, domestic violence, mental illness, developmental disabilities and poverty.
But I would be remiss if I didn't mention some of my challenges and weaknesses. I do not have a lot of confidence in myself and I am very likely to place my trust in others even if I am not really comfortable with their conclusions. I find myself sometimes forgoing the care of myself to help someone else... which in the long run affects both me and the other individuals negatively. I have some difficulties with consistency and I do have a strong emotional base that I can find quite difficult to hide at times... especially in situations where I feel hurt, threatened or harmed.
So looking at my strengths and my listed motivations, here is a list I came up with for areas where the two groups seem to combine or can be blended.
1. I have a great need to help others out of poverty and to help myself out of poverty as well.
2. I have experience and a great love of helping people in difficult circumstances get out of those circumstances.
3. I am strong and can help someone with difficulties for a long time so that they can have help consistently for a better and more positive outcome over the long term.
It seems to me that there are a few situations where I would be quite successful and find some joy and peace in my decisions.
1. I could work towards becoming a foster parent for developmental disabled children and even a long term adoptive parent.
2. I could finish my degree and get work as a social worker in areas that I have strengths in such as children, substance abuse, child protective services, and mental illness.
3. I could start a not for profit for helping children and adults with disabilities in my area have the resources that they need to be more successful, more healthy, and to be more productive members of society.
There are probably other things that I could do, but these were the few that not only first came to mind, but have been popping into my head over the last few weeks as ideas for my future that seem reasonable and I also find fairly exciting and energetic about. All three would take a huge amount of time, energy, and also would require that I expend a bit of time, energy and focus on continued building of my strengths and capabilities. All three would require learning and development in areas that I do have strengths but not necessarily the knowledge that is needed. I would also need to work with people who do not necessarily think like me and have strengths and difficulties in different areas of their lives which can help me to grow in understanding, generosity, and joy. This list helps me to feel hopeful and also seems to be helping me to discover a new direction in my life which sounds difficult and challenging, but worthwhile, exciting and downright fun and rewarding. I have already started to make priority lists for all three to ponder and really think about to see where my energy and time should best be focused. Some parts of the future look quite exciting now. :)
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