Showing posts with label Elizabeth I (of England). Show all posts
Showing posts with label Elizabeth I (of England). Show all posts

2015/05/01

Introduction to This Month’s Topic: The History of Women in Western Civilization


This was a class I wanted to take for a few reasons. One reason is that I love history and it feels like I have studied it all my life. I grew up with a thirst for it and devoured every book I could find that I could understand. I think that this passion for learning and history has served me well in my life and has been very enjoyable for me. However, I found that I felt over time that my knowledge was really very limited and as I looked at it from an education and a religious standpoint, I realized that I pretty much can give the basics on many of the individuals that have made history, but the majority are men. The exceptions in my mind can be classified as wealthy, white, powerful women such as Catherine the Great of Russia and Queen Elizabeth I of England... which were rare. Over the last year or so, I have tried to change that and have actively tried to look at the flip side of the coin so to speak. I have found the information a lot more challenging to come by and having anyone to discuss the information I do find with is difficult because the history of anyone besides men isn't taught in most standard classes so the discussion becomes a bit of a lecture or monologue.... which is no fun at all. So I saw this particular class as a lot of fun and a great resource towards gaining more knowledge, but also more guidance towards more resources for future study. I was hopeful that I can learn more not only about women and their struggles in culture, families and in creating a human history of their own, but also that I can develop a better understanding of the struggle for gender equality that is going on in my own lifetime. I also wanted to have a better understanding of how power and entitlement work between gender, class and race and how people are working towards changing the cultural biases that affect the under-privileged majority of people.

I found myself really interested in learning about how women's history is being compiled by historians and feminists today and how, as history is complied, what forces or parts of culture tend to decide which history is most important for the average student to learn about. I recognize that politics enters that equation as well so I understand that question must needs be open ended without a full solution to be had.

I think that anyone who approaches any of this information differently on a few levels. As our gender is intertwined in our mind and our thoughts without it being consciously there, each individual will have no choice but to either ignore or recognize that you will look at in the material based on your gender. However, I think that we are each much more likely to approach the material from a just as personal and unapproachable bias.... the bias of our own life experiences as well as current life circumstances. Our experiences, culture, family and our choices over time have helped each of us develop into a unique and amazing person and we cannot help but approach any topic with those biases in place and work to try and set them aside as we study and try to look at the topics addressed. I do not think that it is possible for any of us to do that completely- part of me at least has a hard time recognizing biases in myself and I assume others may have the same difficulty in self reflection and introspection. So I suspect that even when many of us appear to see the topic in the same 'light' and have the same viewpoint, we are getting there from very different paths and thoughts.

I recognize that the topics that I will address in the next several posts may be unknown to most and may also be on topics that are sensitive or cause negative emotions in yourself and others. I am not sharing them to cause any harm or anger; rather, I am sharing because I believe that the only way to change culture is to talk about it. From my writings, you will find that some of these topics were challenging for me and my emotions will hang off of some of my sentences and paragraphs. I hope that as readers, we can share our thoughts freely and discuss our feelings and concerns on the history and the topics that are discussed… many of which are still relevant to ourselves and women around the world today.




pictures from: http://www.citelighter.com/film-media/fashion/knowledgecards/womens-fashions-of-the-medieval-era, https://oregonheritage.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/oregon-womens-history-project/, https://oregonheritage.wordpress.com/2012/05/18/oregon-womens-history-project/, http://www.ora.tv/offthegrid/article/grid-history-women-history

2014/07/28

Crazy Dreams....


Boy, have I been having them lately. The good thing about not having a full time job right now is that I am actually getting sleep and therefore I am able to dream again. The good news is that most of them are not the bad, shaking, panic builders that I have been more likely to have over the last few years. If dreams are windows into what someone is thinking... well, Father help me! So if you can stand it, here's a taste...

… dressed in black climbing through by bedroom window. I'm clearly in a big city again, maybe even Vegas, and I am walking down the street desperate not to be seen. I enter a store and buy some croissants and quickly leave slipping into the shadows. I seem to immediately find a park with large hedges and I sit in the dark, stuffing myself with the croissants. I feel the lightness and softness melt on my tongue and I wake up... happy it was a dream so I didn't 'really' do it and so I am not sick, but also feeling a bit bereft. It feels so real and I miss that sensation a lot....

… sitting in the dirt, a small brush in my hand. My hands are digging, softly pulling up the dirt. Carefully sifting through it and slowing down when a flash of dirty yellow-white is seen. Carefully removing the bits of bone from the ground, I brush them off and then set them aside. My interest and horror wanes after the bone is clean and so I continue to dig... continue to sift through the soft lomb..... and repeat the process.

… sitting Indian style upon the ground, back to the wall in the corner.... A bread bowl in my hand, warm and fragrant, full of a thick onion soup, brown and and full. I sit silently and watch the man leaning against the table starting at his food and after a long time of both of us sitting in silence, he pushes his bread bowl away, uneaten. While I know he is there, he seems to not know of my presence... almost like I entered his memories in a pensieve so I could view, but not be known. While there is silence inside this room, outside the door the noise of horses and men preparing for battle is filling the air. And so King Richard stands, looks around the room and exits.... and I sit thinking, knowing that he will lose the Battle of Bosworth and the thought comes into my head “Richard III had to die so the world could move forward”... and the world does move forward in the early 1500's with the Renaissance and the Tudors and the Enlightenment. So I watch images flow through my mind.... the sneaky Henry and his beautiful ancestress Catherine of Valois, the Regal Elizabeth I.... and the redrawing of maps and steam engines and horses running across the plans and child labor and trees falling and border fences and anger and groups protesting and the middle east on fire.....

...sitting at a table with a plate of shrimp alfredo in front of me in a quiet restaurant. The walls had dark word panels on them and the table had a lacy tablecloth with a small candle and a few flowers sprinkled around the table. And there I sit, chatting and smiling with Nick Frost. I can't hear what either of us is saying but it just seems nice and calm and fun....

Those are the ones that I remember... how funny are they?!? I am not someone who knows how to analyze dreams very well- I need to have dreams that are very specific for me to do that with any kind of accuracy. :) The only things that I do get from these dreams is that I am being silly enough to wish for food I can not have, I might be ready to casually date and that I might be finally getting to the bottom of the last of my feelings about the divorce and finding ways to deal with it. Who knows...? Maybe I just want a croissant... Anyone have an extra? ; )

2011/09/01

Enviromental History - What it is and the Differing Approaches to Study

There are several different ways in which environmental historians approach the field of environmental history. These can be easily seen when an individual looks at the definition of what 'environmental' history is and its focus – the role and place of nature in human life. In this field's infancy, this term might have been easily assumed to only cover political pro or con environmental activity, however this particular field has no simple agenda or focus. This definition is certainly an 'open' one that allows many different ways of looking at the history and interactions of humans and the world around them. However, it appears that the majority of historians use five different approaches when working and studying history in this category. One way is to study the biological interactions between human beings and the natural world around them; this can include disease, unintentional disruptions to native and introductions of non native species, and the over-utilization of natural resources causing extinction. Another approach is to divide the world into a series of categories or 'levels' to categorize human interactions with nature; this can include animal husbandry, farming/agriculture, and other forms of production and how the interactions change the balance of human life and the rest of creation. There is an approach that looks at environmental history through the lens of political and economic transformations of power and the struggle of people to understand and balance their needs vs. the needs of nature (consumption vs conservation.) One approach tends to focus of the 'ideas' that human beings have about nature and how we perceive it in relation to ourselves; these can include art work, accounts of explorers, writers, etc... Lastly, the history of human beings and their environment can also be studied through narrative works- stories and the people who tell them. This approach can focus on man's positive or negative transformations or interactions with the earth and what information and facts can be gleaned from these experiences for more positive future interactions.

Donald Worster, one of the pioneers of the development of this particular historical field, believes that environmental history needs to proceed on three levels. These levels are the study of nature itself, the study of the human modes of production, and the study of patterns of human perception, ideology and values. Each of these levels of study require different skills and appropriate usage of other fields of study to develop a truly precise and accurate end product. The first level asks that the researcher understand how nature has functioned in the past and therefore how it functions without 'us'... or at least how it functions without our current participation. This information can be found through the work of geologists, archeologists, anthropologists, biologists, etc... and allows us a glimpse and insight into the natural world that we can attempt to study, reconstruct, and then try to understand and build a knowledge base. The second level focuses on the human modes of production and as such, focuses not only on how human beings have used forms of production to change their lives, labor practices and economics.... but also how each of these practices has changed the natural world and in turn changed the culture of human beings as well. The last level/idea is to study the ways that humans use and see nature based on human bias, perception, morals/ethics and the stories/myths that become part of how we deal with nature. How we as human perceive nature and ourselves as well as our needs and wants can have quite a drastic change in ourselves and the nature that surrounds us. An example that springs to mind is how the recent hurricane and its future arrival changed the way (at least temporarily) many humans saw the power and function of nature and it became more dangerous and a force to be feared in our minds. Those perceptions and biases will change the way we see nature and interact with it and other human beings even if the change is only temporary. Another example is how we perceive our needs based on what we perceive as natural resources- if we see our needs as high and a part of nature as resources, we can truly make the resource endangered or extinct without careful understanding, limitations/balance, and respect.


Jared Diamond distinguishes between 'proximate' and 'ultimate' factors when predicting the outcome of environmental history. Proximate factors tend to be 'factors' that are the most easily discovered and most recent to the situation of time frame being explored. In my own words, I would use the words cause and effect with the word proximate describing the causes of a situation. Ultimate factors tend to be the situations, etc... that bring us to the current or proximate factors. In my experience, most general history that is taught would be considered to be mostly consisting of proximate factors – ex: American colonists didn't like high British taxes or King George, fought war, won, and created new country. While the factor of taxes and government interference was a issue to be reckoned with and certainly did contribute to the eventual war, the ultimate causes of the war began much earlier and are less securely rooted in easy phrases. Both of the answers that can be sought through these divisional groups are technically correct and will give us a large clear portrait of the subject that were are studying. However, if we only use proximate facts we will lose much of the richness of the history itself. By continuing to ask even more questions and to delve deeper 'into the causes of the causes' as it were, we can truly develop a rich tapestry that can be utilized by all interested parties for full consensus and understanding.

William Cronon, a noted environmental historian, believes that his field is useful for so many reasons. Understanding the 'birth' of this field of history helps us understand how it began and in many ways helps us to understand many practicing historians and their work today. The list of books published over the last few decades that discuss environmental history do appear to lean towards not only understanding the past, but trying to change the future. (Isn't that really what the study of history is really about anyway.... the study of the past so that true understanding can potentially change our actions and our future...? That's one of the things I have always thought anyway.) Mr Cronon believes that all human history has a natural context and that no history can exist by itself- all aspects are interdependent on other groups, factors and influences. Taking the time to look at the human actions that have shaped our times gives up the opportunity to look at how nature and the very earth itself have influenced these us and human interaction. (The Spanish Armada and Queen Elizabeth of England come to mind) Another important reason for these studies is that neither nature nor the cultures that exist in it and mold it are benign or unchanging. Culture itself is really a very simple word that describes a very complex and may I say 'shape shifting' idea. Everyone in a culture in not the same, does not respond the same way to similar situations and has its own bias, beliefs, perceptions and reactions. Nature is not necessary unchanging and stable either -witness the earthquakes, tsunamis and other natural disasters over the last few years for big starters - and neither are we as the human race. (The idea of making an outline and typing it on a machine that would not only help me fix my errors but save the information for a few days was barely thinkable forty years ago.) Another really good reason for the study of environmental history is to understand that as a 'significant' contributor to the history itself, we (humans/historians) develop and write knowledge about our environment and world based on our cultural perceptions and biases about our world and environment. Throughout history we can see where generations of people had different environmental 'absolutes'.... that we no longer see as ever being correct or useful. A historian must be careful to recognize that the historian himself/ herself is biased and study, research, and interpret accordingly. We can never be fully objective about our environment – we are always in it. Lastly, Mr Cronon makes the fairly obvious point that the historian or student of history is not an individual who can predict the future with any certainty or be quite sure as to what policies and decisions would be most useful in public or governmental policy, groups and communities, etc... All the knowledgeable historian can do is to make predictions about what could or may happen and try to affect change for the future based on those predictions. Much as every human being, including myself, finds ourselves making changes in our life and cultural based on who and what we are, what we do... and how the humans and the world and nature around us respond in their own dynamic dance.

There are a few things that I think are very important in the study of history and the environment. I really think that we cannot truly understand ourselves- really understand who we are, what we need, and the way we interact with others and the world without pretty good knowledge of the world around us. Understanding that all human beings do essential see the world differently based on their experiences and environment helps us to understand the large role that nature itself has in shaping us into the beautiful being that each of us is. Understanding how both nature and humanity are really interdependent groups- not entirely separate- helps us to understand how we affect the world we are in, how the world itself changes our behavior, thoughts and culture, which in turn, changes the world.

Another aspect that can be explored is the idea that breaking this particular field of study into more subgroups can potentially give us even more information and help us to remove or at least recognize some of our biases when doing the research. And most historians of all areas of study have found it important to interpret history not just through the general lens (rich, white, male), but to also look acknowledge the differences in historical interpretation when viewed by race, gender and class. Carolyn Merchant- feminist and environmental historian- believes that the interpretation of environmental history when using factors such as race, class and gender cause the historian to ask different questions and to see how environmental factors can be used to justify exploitation, injustice, and even disease and impoverishment. How the individuals in different economics circumstances deal with and change their environment can be quite different from each other and the differing cultures that have been created through environment and circumstances to different racial groups create a different portrait of the historical facts. Gender has also a large piece of the puzzle as woman’s roles and environments have and can vary widely from those of the differing gender. An example is that farming and animal husbandry used to remain mostly in the hands of women (or the poor) until the last century when large scale agribusiness came out on top and these tasks became the work or ownership statistically of the white male. Women tend to also be responsible (and held responsible) by their cultures and society for reproduction and to be responsible for the majority of 'world production' or work, while males tend to be more dominant in history as well as today for relationships of power, structural and cultural systems of governance, and other factors. (I feel I need to stress that I am not suggesting that the majority of men do not work!) By looking at history through the eyes, experiences and environment of race, class, and gender, we are able to see the same environment differently, the differing effects it has on various groups and the perceptions and biases of the historian and the studied groups themselves. The use of extra lenses to view the past only gives us more information about ourselves as individuals, communities, nature and humanity itself.


Thoughts, impressions, comments....? :)

2011/03/23

The First Romanov Czars: Michael and Alexei (1613-1676)


The accession of Mikhail Romanov to the Russian throne in February 1613 marked the end of the 'Time of Troubles' for the Russia country. A few ideas survived this time stronger and intact which was to affect the Russian country politically for centuries to come. The idea that only a strong monarch/tzar could keep the country from chaos was strong and seemed to many to be the only alternative to ongoing chaos. One idea was that the only stability that had been available was the Orthodox church and that was the only guarantee and unifying factor in Russia without a Tsar. There was also the idea that the person who should be in charge needed to be of the 'people' and understand the hardships that they had faced... and were facing. Last was the realization that the Tsar needed the boyar class and could not have authority without them- they would have to work together or get nowhere but trouble, death and chaos for all. The person also needed to be acceptable to the majority if not all Cossack groups as well as the boyar class. Finding someone on the Rurik hereditary line that hadn't been involved in the intrigue and choosing sides in the long civil war was that much harder. So it comes as almost no surprise that the chosen individual was young, had the appropriate heredity, and had very little political involvement over the last fifteen years. A quote from a source that caused me to laugh- “The choice (for czar) fell upon a boy, whose name might have wrung a sigh from the ghost of Boris Godunov: Michael Romanov.” I think the author was right! This paper will discuss the reigns of Tsar Mikhail I and his son Alexei I of Russia. It will discuss their goals and achievements and help us continue on our enlightening path of learning Russian history.

Mikhail Fyodorovich Romanov was born on July 12, 1596 to Feodor Nikitich Romanov and Kseniya Shestova in Moscow, Russia. Very little else is known about his childhood. It is known that both of his parents were forced by Boris Godunov to enter service in the church to keep them out of sight/mind for the 'succession'. Before taking vows and being known as Patriarch Filaret, Feodor Romanov had been a distinguished soldier, a man of diplomacy and had been the popular candidate for the throne when Feodor I passed away and Boris Godunov took over. The young Michael probably grew up in a convent with his mother at Tolvuysiy pogost and then later moved with her to Kostroma. In February 1613, he was the chosen and elected czar.... but the next step was for the new czar to be found. And found he was at his mother's side at the Ipatiev Monastery near Kostroma on March 24th. (On a side note, there is a legend about a man named Ivan Susanin who was tortured to hide the whereabouts of the young Michael Romanov and because of his faithfulness and his silence his ancestors were given one half of Derevischi village by Tsar Mikhail.... or he led a Polish army group sent to capture the czar astray and they were never heard from again. There is some debate about this.) Many sources suggest that Mikhail and his mother were not accepting at first of his new 'elevation'- only after much discussion did Michael accept the position of Czar. He approached Moscow on May 2,1613 and several weeks later he attended his coronation in the Assumption/Dormition Cathedral. He married Maria Vladimirovna Dolgorukova in 1624 and when she died four months after their marriage, Michael married Eudoxia Streshneva. Together, they produced ten children including the next Czar Alexis.

The first priority of the new Tsar in 1614 was to restore order and rid the country of the 'foreign occupators'. One source suggests that Tsar Micheal’s main goal was actually twofold- to rid Russia of the large foreign armies and put to rest the conflicts with Poland and Russians as well as deal with his country's financial problems to help solidify Michael's own position. Due to his age, he ruled closely with close consultation with the Boyar Duma and the Assembly of the Land for the first few years... and well as help by his mother's relatives that took control of governmental affairs until the return of Mikhail's father. Patriarch Filaret returned to Moscow in June of 1619 and took up the reigns of political affairs, accepting the title of Great Sovereign and ruling until his death in 1933. However, before his father's return Mikhail had many accomplishments. He had inherited a bankrupt country and he immediately borrowed money to pay the army and raised taxes. Michael was able to put down an uprising of an pretender (false Dmitri III) and his promoters which helped to cement his rule. After the necessary isolation of Russia during the civil wars of the 'Troubles', Tsar Michael looked to England and to its monarch James I for an alliance that could protect Russia from further problems with Poland- there was precedent for good relations with England as relations between the Queen of England (Elizabeth I) and Russian monarchs Ivan IV and Boris Godunov were mostly amiable. This step, along with the taxes and rebuilding the army ended parts of the Polish occupation of Russia and helped control the Swedish threat. Tsar Mikhail signed the Treaty of Stolbovo in 1617 and the Treaty of Deulino in `1618. The alliance with England was successful in its ambitions and both parties (the Tsar of Russia and the King of England) gained many of the priorities and securities that they wanted in their high stakes game of 'risk'. Throughout the last years of his rule, the czar's concentration was on colonization and fort-building in the south and in Siberia- as well as the reformation of the structure of local governments to increase the authority of the central administration. Tsar Mikhail Romanov ruled until his natural death of illness on July 12, 1645 after naming his 16 year old son Alexei as his designated heir.

Alexei Mikhailovich Romanov was born on March 19, 1629, to Tsar Mikhail and his second wife, Eudoxia Streshneva. Alexis was brought up by various wet nurses until the age of five and then his education was entrusted to two boyars names Boris Morozov and Basil Streshnev. Even though he was handed the throne at the same age as his father, he had been able to be better prepared for the challenge. He was sixteen years of age when his father died on July 13, 1645 and his coronation was held on September 28, 1645. In Russian, his nickname was 'tishaishii' which means 'most quiet one' and he was known to be a very devout and religious man. (The word 'tishaishii' can also mean 'the most meek.) Tsar Alexei relied heavily on his two tutors for advice during the early parts of his reign, but firmly stood on his own during much of his reign. He married Maria Ilynichna Miloslavskaya in January 1648 and she gave birth to thirteen children in their twenty-one years of marriage... and died a few weeks after the last childbirth. It was said that Tsar Alexei was very grief-stricken at her death, however, he did later marry again; a Nataliya Kyrillovna Naryshkina and after their marriage in February 1671, she bore him three children... including Peter, who would later be known as one of the greatest Russian rulers in history.

No one can really honestly suggest that the time frame during the rule of Tsar Alexei was not tumultuous. Events happening all over the globe confirm that statement. But Russia itself was part of and participated in some of the difficulties. In Russia during his reign, Tsar Alexis faced numerous town rebellions including defeating the Cossack group led by Stenka Razin, fought and was fairly successful territory-wise in the Russo-Swedish war of 1656, a thirteen year war with Poland which was quite successful territory-wise, as well as a permanent schism in the Orthodox church. According to the introduction to his own book on falconry, Alexis is quoted as saying that "everything must be done with good order, discipline, and exact arrangement.” One source mentions that this quote helps explain the tzar’s emphasis on centralization, obedience, and conformity. He believed that nothing could be secure or strengthened unless great care, strong consistency and hands on strong authority was used. This was not a whim that he expected others to follow alone- Tsar Alexis required the same behavior in almost all instances from himself. Alexei is also quoted as coining the phrase “a time for work, an hour for play” which is still a popular saying in Russia.

He was considered one of the most educated men of his time and he himself wrote and edited many of the important decrees and documents of his time for Russia. He was the first czar to sign laws on his own authority and to permit realistic portraits of himself as well as to actually receive personal communications as a 'person' and not as a leader. Tsar Alexei also established an international postal system to improve communication with other states in Europe. He was described in the memoirs of Lizek as a “Tsar [that] is gifted with unusual talents, has fine qualities and rare virtues... subjects love him so much and revere him.” A monument to Czar Alexei is scheduled to be completed in the city of Penza in 2013 which is the city's 350th anniversary- this city is significant as it was built on Czar Alexei orders to bolster one of the Russian empire's borders.

Tsar Alexei was a man who seems to have a broad vision and unlike some of his predecessors, didn't seem to enjoy the punishments that he felt 'forced' to order. His actions increased the territory of Russia and also helped cement the autocracy for his successors... giving them more power than he had come to the throne with. When he died, he left a fairly stable country ready to accept some new western ideas and a lasting legacy. His son Peter I would continue and build on his father's ideals and legacy creating a legend for himself and a country that would continue to last until this very day.... even if in a smaller form.

2010/04/17

Perception and Reality


Isn't it funny that a few people can share a day together and then go their separate ways. The next day two of the members of the group that shared the same exact experience can 'see' the experience so differently from the other person. In fact, if you didn't know better, you might possibly come to the conclusion that someone is lying to you. But in reality how each individual processes their day in their mind made the experience different due to their perceptions.

The word perception in regard to human psychology is usually defined as the process of attaining awareness and understanding of sensory information. How a person perceives their situation, environment, etc... is almost always affected by several factors- past experiences, culture, interpretation of past and cultural events, age, intelligence level and more. Rene Descartes hundreds of years ago conceived the idea of passive perception that can be described as a series of events; input (senses), processing (brain), and output (reaction). Today, many psychologists tend to subscribe to the idea of active perception as a more accurate way to describe the idea that there is a dynamic relationship between the brain and senses which create experience.

So even if every human being is exactly the same in all ways (which of course we are not), we would still find that people's perceptions will differ from each others. If our genes were exact duplicates – in essence, if we are clones- our experiences might be slightly different causing different perceptions and ideas. I find this idea so fascinating and frustrating all at once. It is fascinating because the world is an amazing place with so many differences in people, environments, cultures, etc... Look at the amazing people we learn about in history class and how our world has been shaped by their perceptions of the world around them? One example that springs to mind is Henry VIII of England. Even people who have no interest in history have heard of this king/man. His perceptions of himself, gender and reproduction changed the lives of his many wives (sometimes ending their lives), the lives of his children and the lives and culture of an entire country. One of his daughters Elizabeth I went on to rule after him and her perceptions of power and men again changed the course of her life, the lives of all those around her and the history and succession of an entire country.

However, one thing that really frustrates me about perception is that we as human beings can be so shuttered and trapped into poor perception. When we are born, our brain in many ways is a blank slate which we then begin to fill. As we get experience in life, this experience will change and therefore bias our perceptions- there is now a preconceived concept. This happens because human beings do not readily understand new information without the bias of their previous knowledge. So we can misinterpret others actions and behavior based on the actions and behavior of others that surrounded us in the past which can cause us problems in our present. Or,maybe even worse, we can fail to perceive something at all because our brains are unable to process the information in any way. So something can be explained to you a million times... and you can still fail to 'get it'. So essentially, our reality is biased and as such... boy, it helps to see why we are supposed to forgive people almost everything. If the human mind can only create reality from what it has been exposed, then misunderstandings must be so easy. The mind will just pull out the bits of perception that it recognizes so that we can have understanding or comprehension- even though that probably will not give us understanding and comprehension. “ That which most closely relates to the unfamiliar from our past experiences, makes up what we see when we look at things that we don’t comprehend.”

So know that I truly understand this (at least I think I do.... :), what do I do? If I have communication problems based on the abuse in my past and the way that I was treated early in life, how do I change. What I mean is, I can change outward behavior and I have in many ways. I no longer have a 'anger' problem- I just have to be aware of my emotions an understand that I have a penchant towards anger. By knowing this, I am able to control it. But how do you truly control thought patterns that have been a part of you for so long that I am unable to even recognize that they are thought patterns? How does anyone do it? David Pelzer is an example that I can think of. He had some of the most horrendous abuse I have ever heard of or read about... and yet he has been able to change his actions and his thoughts (at least it appears that he has). Clearly this is a loooong process. So...

How does perception effect you and your relationships? How does it affect your communication with others? How does it affect how you do.... everything!? If you have had abuse in your past or other major problems such as divorce, instability, etc.... how have you dealt with it? What has worked to help change the way you think..... has it worked? Carlfred Broderick talked about a transitional character- one who is able to purify their family line from the blackness and instability of the past and give future generations the ability to not have to confront the pain and scarring. In the past I have thought that I have been pretty successful at being a good transitional character and I have the best husband for that- his patience and kindness are a Godsend that I do not deserve. But... I suspect I have a lot more work to do!