God's Punishment?

Most human beings throughout time have tried to come up with explanations for why bad things happen to others. In my opinion, it seems to be part of the human condition to attempt to rationalize, to find fault in others, to find a 'reasonable' reason why Heavenly Father has allowed something bad to happen. If someone is raped, maybe they were dressed for it or even in the wrong situation... If someone is murdered, than maybe they were in a place they shouldn't have been or had bad behavior... If a child dies in an accident, we suspect the parents could have been more vigilant or responsible. Excuses are even found in a positive vein- “They were so good that God took them home” or “God really knew what he was doing when he gave you this challenge- I could never have done as well as you!” It appears that we come up with excuses that make us feel more comfortable.... not the afflicted If people have bad things happen to them because of something they did, then we are safe, we do not have to worry... it could never happen to us because we wouldn't do 'that'.

I read a study a few years ago that talked about the dichotomy of how human beings think. We are able to rationalize our own behavior and when bad things happen to us we are able to give ourselves the benefit of the doubt- after all, we know why we failed at something. We forgot, or had an emergency, became too busy, etc... but most human beings are unable to give others this same benefit of the doubt. Part of this may come from the idea that we cannot know their mind and so we cannot know why something happened. But people tend to be suspicious and fearful and so we tend to think that when people have trouble, then it must have been something that they did. This allows us to justify bad opinions of them, good opinions of ourselves, and to feel comfortable with the idea that those same 'bad things' will not happen to us. After all, how fearful could we become if we realized that most of the bad things that happen in life are random/non personal because of someone else's agency and only a small amount of bad things are truly due to our own agency?

I have a hard time understanding why people (including myself) cannot find a way to figuratively step back and give our fellow brothers and sister's more tolerance and understanding in all circumstances. Why we are not able to take a small amount of time (and even prayer) to try and see into the hearts and minds of our fellow human beings and give each other the 'benefit of the doubt'? Why can we not assume that people are usually not genuinely out to hurt us... that mistakes, misunderstandings, and bad things can happen? We can truly err without full knowledge and harm others by our behavior and judgments in ways that we ourselves may be unable to fathom.

While I am really struggling to understand why we as human beings are unable to be more tolerance and understanding of each other, I am truly unable to understand why some people use their intolerance and fear as 'scatter-shot'; spewing forth their rationalizations as a shot in the face to those individuals that they wish to express their fear and anger against, but also hitting dozens and hundreds of individuals that were not their original targets. The most recent case in point that I can think of are the words of Republican Bob Marshall from Virginia at a press conference last week...

“The number of children who are born subsequent to a first abortion with handicaps has increased dramatically. Why? Because when you abort the first born of any, nature takes its vengeance on the subsequent children. In the Old Testament, the first born of every being, animal and man, was dedicated to the Lord. There’s a special punishment Christians would suggest.”

So, assuming that all first time abortions are elective and have no reasonable need or reason, Heavenly Father has set it up so that these families and innocent children will suffer his vengeance? (Please do not make me waste time with statistics or friend's accounts showing that this assumption is void and untrue- I am hoping that it is obvious.) Doesn't take much of a stretch for like-minded individuals to decide that all parents with disabled children have had abortions or other pertinent misdeeds that they are being punished for. I wish that I could say that this gentlemen said something that most individuals would consider crazy and not true. But I have heard these explanations for most of my life. A parent told me when I was younger that my aunt was being 'punished' for marrying a non member of our church. So her punishment was for her son to have autism. My son has difficulties and I married a non member... so clearly I should have known better. ;) I have friends who have willing adopted those who are disabled, hoping to enrich the lives of these individuals as well as their own. The lives of individuals with disabilities and their families already have a difficult walk on this earth. They willingly take up the mantle that Heavenly Father has given them. They struggle, they fight real and figurative battles daily in the hopes that their children will have an easier life, understanding the reality that their children will face prejudice, hatred and fear in their life for many reasons not of their own making. In my opinion, Heavenly Father does not punish individuals for another's sins on purpose and disability is not a punishment for a parent's sin!

I believe that Heavenly Father allows some individuals to come this this world with differing challenges – let's face it, we allall will have challenges. Some of our challenges will be more obvious than the challenges of others, but I can not stress enough we will all have challenges, troubles, problems and heartache. No one -no matter how good and perfect- will have a perfect, challenge free life. The most perfect of us all (as Christians believe) is Jesus Christ and if we read the scriptures we make no mistake- he faced challenges and heartache. But our Loving Father allows people to come with bigger challenges for the good of all. We are all here on this earth to learn and help each other. So that we may lift each other up and take joy in our difference -not tear each other down in fear and intolerance.

This legislator claimed that disabled children are a punishment from God for past misdeeds. He is not alone by far in his beliefs. I find this claim to uphold unborn life as sacred, but in the same breath to dismiss and trivialize born, breathing life as distasteful and hypocritical. I can't help but wonder...why do almost all those individuals that claim to speak for God, end up sounding more like the Devil and his angels rather than our loving Father?

History of a Song: February - "I Hope They Call Me On A Mission"

(I have wondered sometimes about the history of some of the primary songs and the hymns we sing in church. So I thought that I would look one up once a month and indulge myself!)

The song “I Hope They Call Me On A Mission” was original written in 1970 by Newel Kay Brown. He is originally born in Salt Lake City (a leap year baby!) and currently as of 2010 lived in Texas. He also wrote a few pieces for flute and clarinet as well as a hymn currently in the hymnal (#71 With Songs of Praise). During an interview, Brother Brown said that his inspiration for the song came from one of his favorite songs “A Mormon Boy”. When he was asked to contribute a song on missionary work for possible inclusion in a song book, he tried to write a song that reminded him of his long ago favorite.

This song is one of the few songs that it is fairly guaranteed that most Mormon children will know by heart before they reach their age of majority. It has been performed by Enoch Train, Ryan Shupe and the Rubberbands as well as inclusion in a LDS movie or two. It has also been made into a satire by John Bytheway (Somehow They Called Me On a Mission) and a spoof of the song was reported to travel around the BYU co-ed dorms for a while.

*****I hope they call you on a mission
So you'll be gone a year or two.
By then, I'll probably be married
So I'll no longer have to deal with jerks like you*****

This song is interesting in a few ways. One is its almost universal appeal- children like to sing it and seem quite exuberant about it. I do wonder how many children truly understand the lyrics and really want to go on missions based on thousands of repetitions of a song. I guess I also wonder how guys feel about this song in general. I mean, men are not really allowed to 'hope' they will be called- it is practically mandatory. So I think that girls can make the decision as they are growing up and 'hope to be called', but that is not the same situation as boys. And the church in many ways does not advocate for women to go on missions...

So, if you went on a mission, do you think that this song helped you 'decide early' to go on a mission? What does this song mean to you?

ABA and Difficult Situations

My husband had a disturbing experience the other day. He was shopping in a big box store with Bug and they were looking at a few toys while I got my glasses fixed. While they were doing so, a young man came into the aisle with an adult female. It became clear to my husband fairly quickly that the young man had autism and the female was not his mother, but probably his 'section 24' worker. The young man than asked to buy something and was promptly told no. This prompted him to go into a huge tantrum that seemed more of a statement and attention seeking and less of out of control behavior. The worker's reaction was extraordinary. She immediately became livid- absolutely unreasonably angry and it was clear very quickly that she was so angry that the situation would possibly go out of control for both of them. She was clearly so angry that she would be unable to help in any de-escalation of the situation. What was her next step? She looked at the young man and said “ Well, you just lost three stars, young man!”

I am so confused by ABA sometimes. In this situation, the worker allowing herself to get angry and then telling the child that due to his behavior he has lost a privilege, etc.. really seems to send the wrong message. For one thing, it feels pretty hypocritical to punish someone else for not controlling their behavior while you have lost control of your emotions/behavior. It was clear to my husband that the child's response was not “oh I should stop”. It resembled more of “Well, nothing left to lose now-already lost my privileges.” My husband quickly moved my son out of the aisle and they left as the situation did continue to rapidly spiral out of control. I was once told that anyone using behaviorism has to be very, very careful because often, the lesson that they are trying to teach is not the lesson that the other individual is picking up. And ABA is so rigid and doesn't take a lot of factors into account for the individuals involved. In some ways (and this worker expressed this) it is more about expressing and exerting control over someone else.

Now, it is possible that the worker was having a bad day and this wasn't her typical behavior. It is also possible that this is the worker's typical behavior and the child was having a bad day. Of course, we could have misunderstood the whole situation. And it is possible that the parents are either OK with this behavior or have no idea that the behavior by the worker is going on. It is also possible the the parent's know, but are so desperate for the break that they are willing to accept the worker's behavior. It is also possible that the worker is not really trained at all and is just struggling to figure out what she is supposed to do. There are probably several options that I haven't even thought of yet.

But that whole situation shouldn't have happened. In the end, it wasn't fair to the child. Sure his fake tantrum was silly, but he probably just learned to keep doing the tantrum by the worker's behavior. And the worker will probably get even more angry and quit, leaving the family in a bad spot, and leaving the child with more adverse behavior that the new worker will have to deal with. The whole situation just makes me sad.

2010 Poetry Corner # 3 - "A Word a Year"

I’m 35

I am…
regretted
confused
scared
fearful
bossy
controlling
insecure
ignorant
stupid
out of control
rebellious
intolerant
fighter
exuberant
ecstatic
faithful
lonely
regretful
individual
loved
stubborn
married
mother
fearful
hopeful
outspoken
frustrated
dying
empowered

How to Save an Apex Predator... and in turn, Save Ourselves

Article of Faith 13: “We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul— We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.”

In some ways, the title of this post is an oxymoron. An apex predator is by definition a “predator that have virtually no predators of their own, residing at the top of their food chain.” So it begs the question of why an animal that has 'virtually' no enemies needs to be saved in the first place...? How did the great white shark find itself in the exalted position of 'king' of the seas and yet be in in such risk of extinction?

The answer is very complicated. One reason appears to be simple biology. Any predator reproduces at a slower rate that a prey species and the great white shark is no exception. The female great white will not become pregnant until she is at least 4-5 meters in length (thought to be reached around 9 years of age). She will then give birth to 2-9 pups and will not become pregnant/ give birth again for at least two years – it is also thought that the larger pups in the sharks belly will eat their weaker siblings so that only a few will actually be born. On average, a female great white shark will give birth only twice in her lifetime... although so little is known about the breeding of great whites that these numbers could be incorrect. However, if we assume the very best situation and every pup survives that is born, this shark has very little leeway to be able to keep its population steady if anything else happens that could potentially adversely affect its population.

Unfortunately, there are a few other adverse situations that happen with great white sharks. Sharks are prized for their jaws, teeth and trophy status to sportsmen and targeted fishermen. They can become trapped in protective beach meshing that has been set up to protect us from them (when they become trapped, they will suffocate within minutes. The sharks are also at risk of dying after being caught during commercial fishing for other fish. They also have the problem that inshore habitats that are commonly used by adult great whites as birthing and nursery areas are becoming degraded and in some cases taken over by another apex predator -man. Shark fins are prized for food and hundreds of sharks are killed each year after they are caught, their fins removed, and then they are dumped back in the ocean where they die as they can no longer swim or catch food. When they are caught and kept, their flesh is usually sold under the name of smooth-hound shark. Shark cartilage is sold as a 'health' food and their skin is used for leather. Some great whites are even caught to be prominently displayed in large aquariums. And some are killed as a byproduct of media frenzy and fear/revenge after a human is attacked by a shark while swimming or surfing- even if the shark involved was definitively not a great white shark. On average a shark will kill five human beings a year on accident while human beings kill hundreds of thousands of sharks a year.

When it became apparent that the great white shark was in serious danger of extinction, some governments passed laws attempting to help protect them from humans. In 1991, South Africa granted the great white protected status and was followed by California and Australia in 1994. The World Conservation Union considers the great white shark as 'vulnerable to extinction'. Many scientists believe that there are less than 10,000 great white sharks left in the oceans. They are protected under at least three international conservation agreements and since 1994, they are fully protected in Namibia, the Maldives, Malta, and Florida.

So, with all of this information... what can we do to help the sharks survive? One thing is to educate yourself and others about sharks. Unnatural fear can only be combated and abated with knowledge. If the majority of people understand that shark attacks are rare and killing sharks because “they are sharks” is wrong and unacceptable, media reactions will go down and people will be less likely to go out and indiscriminately kill them. Do not buy shark products and, if enough people do not buy them, then they will become less valuable and fewer sharks will be killed for necklaces and trophies. We need to work harder to keep our beaches clean and unpolluted so that breeding and nesting areas are available for sharks to use.

By now, you are probably wondering why I would suggest that saving the shark has anything to do with saving ourselves. In Mormon terms, we believe salvation is attained through a combination of faith in the Atonement and good works, with emphasis on the good works. Many people tend to be fairly 'species-ist' and believe that because we are 'made in the image of God', we are more important than any of our Heavenly Father's creations. However, the scriptures tell us that the Father notices death of a sparrow (Matthew 10:29-30)... How can we decide that our fears are more important that a creation of our Father? How can we allow one of his creations – an entire species- to die for poor reasons; our fear, our ignorance, our lack of concern, and our lack of will? How can we allow our fear to overshadow the beauty and majesty of this animal. And what will happen to us and our world without the great white shark? Will our oceans become barren as the the great white's prey explodes and eats the fish to an unsustainable level? Will we have to put fish on an endangered species list and no longer be able to eat is as a healthy meal? Will other predators take the place of the great white shark that might become even more dangerous to us in the future? Would the oceans become a truly dangerous place for us to swim in or enjoy?

***** On a slightly different note, I believe (my belief only) that the more we human beings dive in cages to see sharks, the more sharks become 'used to us'. I believe that sharks are more likely to attack people when they are more comfortable in doing so- predators tend to not attack other predators due to fear of injury). The more accustomed they are to our presence in deep water (and our 'calling' them with blood), the more likely we are to convince them that we are a tasty and easy treat. And it is more likely that the 'man eater' will begin to eat us instead of our usual cases of mistaken identity. The recent shark attack in South Africa is in my mind as I type these thoughts. *****

It is in our interests- both temporally and spiritually- to help save the great white shark.. Of course this is only my opinion.... What do you think?