Gratitude - 12/29/18

It's so dark so early these days that it almost feels like I should be headed to bed at 6pm. It's only 5:30 right now and it feels like it's been dark for so long it feels like it's midnight. These are the days that it really is a struggle for me to be able to stay up and accomplish things and to try to keep a normal sleep schedule. Of course with my insomnia and other issues, a normal sleep schedule is pretty much out of the picture anyway. Doesn't mean that I shouldn't try though.

1. It's pretty cold these days. I am really grateful for a heater that has propane and a house that has electricity to help keep me warm. I try to keep them low to conserve on energy, but I'm very grateful to have them because I would be very cold without them.

2. My feet are always cold and so I always have socks on them. I am very grateful for warm soft socks that I can wear anytime I want. And I'm grateful for a quantity of socks that allows me to change my socks as often as I wish and still have plenty of socks to choose from. I am a bit of a Dobby.

3.I had some maple sugar candy today and that was wonderful. I really haven't had any before and it was sort of blissful to feel all the sugar melt all over my tongue. I do not eat sugar or candy very often because I worry about it health-wise, but it was nice to splurge today.

4. I'm so grateful to have some awesome history lectures to listen to. Right now I'm working my way through a Great Courses/ Teaching Company series entitled "The Peloponnesian War. The professor is excellent and I'm enjoying the lectures very much. It's nice to be reminded of some of the things that I learned a long time ago in class but to hear about the values and morals of different groups of people that have been gone for so long. We may have stolen some of our ideas of government from the Athenians, but we are just as different as we are similar today. Anyway, I'm really thankful to have the lecture to listen to and enjoy.

5. I enjoyed having Bug over last night and it's always a joy to wake up and hear him talking and waiting for me to wake up. Sometimes he seems to get up too early for me, but I'm still glad he comes over anyway.

6. I was pretty sad that the Turnstyle wasn't open today because I was looking forward to going back after a month away. But I managed to channel that energy into rearranging and working on cleaning a corner of my living room the desperately needed it and I am so glad that I got that done. While physically I hurt quite a bit I am so happy with the results.

7. Listening to Cyril purr is a beautiful sound indeed....

8. Ferrets are awesome!

Inspiration From A Wall

There is an amazing Cuban restaurant in Bangor that the ex introduced me too a little bit ago. They make great food and are really good about allergies so that people with allergies can eat there- it does help that most Cuban food doesn't use gluten or nuts. The best thing about the restaurant besides the food is their wall. You are encouraged to write on their wall with your thoughts or artistic pictures and I love waiting for my food and reading the submissions. Today two specific items drew my attention. I'm sure no one is shocked that one of the items I liked was a cat....

However, this one really hit me in the feels...

How many of us have felt ourselves 'grow' away from family or others? I suspect all of us... and what about family who have passed on? I saw this and thought of my grandparents and how they are no longer around to spend time with. I miss them so much right now... it feels a bit like a physical wound that will not heal and continues to fester over time. I think of old friends who I have loved and over time we have grown apart. For some, I haven't seen them since I moved to Maine. For others, they have walked away from the relationship due to circumstances in their own lives. As I read the words I found my heart filled with emotion and my eyes filled with tears. I wonder about the person who wrote these words on the wall and what was in their heart as they shared this small piece of their soul. Lots of thoughts today...

Gratitude - 12/18/18

I am so grateful for a few things today.

I am really grateful for my sister in law today. She sent me a message letting me know how much she cares about me and that I have a heart of gold. That message really meant a lot to me and has helped me to smile over the week. It has also brought a thought to mind... what am I doing with that heart of gold? Am I helping others? How am I using that heart and generosity to help others? I am grateful to the joy and wonderment she brought into my life this week.

I love John Oliver. I learn so much from him and appreciate the research and work his team accomplishes to educate his viewers and it makes a difference in my life. One of my final school papers before I graduated was on sexual education - I got the idea for the paper and started my research using one of his episodes. (See link here) I have been able to rest some days this week and go over some of his older episodes and enjoy and relearn. I am glad to have the opportunity to re-watch them through Youtube and think over the information contained in them.

I got two Christmas cards today. One of them is from my brother and his family and the pictures and the joy contained in them are so obvious and wonderful. I put it on my fridge and I look at it every time I walk by. One of my nieces looks a lot like me and I look in awe of genetics and how genes can be turned on in different pieces of different families. Bug doesn't look much like me at all if I think about it. The other card is from a good friend who sent me the newest noise Christmas album that he put together with music from lots of groups. I can't wait to listen to it tomorrow when I'm trying to get a good walk in. I'm not going to do Christmas cards this year so I am very grateful for every card that I get. They give me a lot of joy.

I discovered a new author today- B.B. Haywood. I have started the author's first book ("Town in a Blueberry Jam") and I am enjoying it in my free time very much.


I had a gluten exposure recently and I have been fighting the pain and exhaustion that comes with it. It hasn't been that bad this time and I am so glad that I am spending less time just fighting my body to get it to move and do what needs to be done. I am thankful for my treadmill because I can walk slowly and intermittently in a warm place... Maine sure is cold right now. Being able to try and keep my health up in a warm safe place is not something I take for granted.

I am grateful for my very best friend. She keeps me sane, less lonely, thoughtful, and as self sufficient as I can be right now. She is supportive and I can't thank her enough.

I am grateful for my ex. He really does a lot of things for me and I appreciate it very much. I am very grateful.

What are you grateful for today?

Gratitude - 12/15/2018

It's been a busy couple of months. I've spent quite a bit of time with family, getting things started for surgery, working with my advocate for a meeting in March and looking for work. While I have been too busy to blog much, I wanted to sit down and share my gratitude for some blessings today.

1. I was able to sit down and pay bills. Very grateful that I had the resources to pay them.

2. Bug stayed over last night. I woke up early listening to him recite and feeling my body being squished up against Teddy and it was sweet. I am tired, but happy to have the time with Bug. Teddy is such a warm dog that he helps keep me warm too.

3. I have a great quilt. It is thick and warm and with a duvet cover it looks amazing. I love snuggling under the covers when it is cold because I feel warm and toasty.

4. I am grateful for my treadmill. I am able to walk at my own pace when I can and get some exercise in even when it is cold outside. Some days my knees and ankles won't take it, but on others I can just walk at my leisure while watching a TV program.

5. I am thankful for a freezer full of food. Can't be thankful enough that I have good food to eat. Not everyone does and I am thankful.

6. I love coloring books. I enjoy listening to books and coloring. I don't do it very often, but when I need to rest and can't be on my feet I enjoy it more than I would just watching television.

7. I love the Christmas tree. Bug decorated it himself this year and it is just gorgeous. I like taking a few minutes to just sit and look at it. It's a bit restful and wonderful to just enjoy and think.

8. I enjoyed reading on sharks over the last few days. They are one of my favorite species and I have had fun this evening studying and writing about them.

What are you thankful for today?